


The Art Of Love

by RisingSun



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band), Shinhwa
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-08 01:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 52
Words: 107,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11635992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RisingSun/pseuds/RisingSun
Summary: University of art. Ten handsome, talented, young men searching for their own place in artistic world. Their love for art gives them an opportunity to learn and understand the art of love.





	1. Prologue

Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
Art is my life. I know it sounds corny, but it's true. I grew up believing that people should love life, appreciate it and make the best out of it, making every moment of it worth living. I learned that the only way to achieve that was to always do what you want, what you love, what makes you happy. In my case, it was art.  
  
"Dongwan!" Great, just when I started writing... Oh yeah, I shouldn't write, I should pack. "Wan!"  
  
"What?" I spat already coming to the room next to mine, only to see my little brother practically covered in million different items of clothing. He stood in the middle of that mess, looking slightly hopeless and pi$$ed off. I controlled myself not to start laughing.  
  
"I don't have anything to wear." He whined and that did it. I burst out laughing. "Dongwan!" Uh oh, calling me by my full name never was a good thing. "I'm serious here."  
  
"You do know you're surrounded with clothes, right? I actually think you could open the store." I said picking up random shirt and examining it. "How much is this?" I asked laughing some more and he quickly snatched it from me and throw it down. Stepping out of mountain of clothes he, just as quickly, reached into my pocket taking my wallet. "Hey!" I protested, but he already took the credit card and rushed out of the room.  
  
"Shopping time!" he yelled happily, while I sighed picking up that shirt from before. He won't wear it anyway.  
  
"Kim Junsu!" I knew it was coming. He could pass me, but he couldn't possibly avoid umma. Quietly I sneaked out of his room and into my own. Junsu's shopping time was over before it started, but my packing time was about to come. College, here we come... again.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You really think it's the best for us to change schools?" he asked for the tenth time since this morning. I sighed at the same time with appa and proceeded to read.  
  
"Junjin, we talked about this. You know you'll get the best possible education there. It's the best art school in the country afterall." Appa repeated once again and before JunJin could protest further more, added: "This conversation is finished. You better start packing." And with that he stood up and left the room.  
  
"You agree with this?" hyung turned to me.  
  
I seriously don't get it, why does he have to make such a big deal out of it. It's gonna be the same as in our previous school, maybe just a little bit better when it comes to actual studying. But school is school right? He's still gonna be one of the most popular guys, party boy who would get laid more if the gay population in school was bigger. On the other hand, I'm still gonna be emo loser who's good for nothing but writing music. Yes, I know I'm overreacting. But still, I wasn't the best when it came to opening up to people. I did have a lot of acquaintances, I did talk to people, but no one ever got to know the true me. I liked to hide behind my music.  
  
The point is - no matter what school we attend nothing will ever change.  
  
"It doesn't really matter to me." I shrugged, not looking away from my book. "Besides, I bet there is a lot of hot guys there as well." I added nonchalantly.  
  
Jin shut up right away, as his facial expression changed into a thoughtful one. He exited the room smirking slightly, obviously excited by the idea of hot guys waiting just for him. I knew him too damn well.  
  
Tomorrow we'll start something new... Different, yet the same. Just like my feelings, both anxious and indifferent. We'll be alright. We have our art.


	2. Chapter 2

Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Let's break up." I said looking into his eyes. I was hoping he's gonna start crying.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"We're over." I said sighing and not daring to move, waiting for his reaction.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
He doesn't speak nor give any sign that he heard me. He's trying to control himself. It was always hard for him to do so, he was always the one with feelings always out, in the open, never afraid to show both happiness and misery. He was never afraid to cry.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I wish for him to hit me, to do something, anything. But he's as calm as ever. I refuse to believe that he doesn't care, I know him well. This relationship meant something to him. It can't be that after all this time we don't know each other. Are we complete strangers? Or am I making us like that? I don't want to believe that, it can't be... But why doesn't he say anything?  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
I shift uncomfortably and then look back into his eyes. There is something there, my way out, his forbidden weakness. Tears.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Why?" he speaks finally. He's so calm, it scares me. I swallow slowly, hesitating, not really knowing how to answer.  
  
"It just... it doesn't work anymore." I breathe out looking away.  
  
"I see." He says in a small voice and gives a little nod. "I know there is no one else." He adds. I look at him. "I know Yunho. You might be a player, but you don't cheat."  
  
I don't know why he's saying that to me, but I feel easier for some reason. That's just like him, being reasonable and not letting his true feelings come out while he's stating the facts. Observing his surroundings and giving his opinion, putting everything in its place, not giving anything to it nor taking from it. He won't try to find excuses, even if it'd make him feel better.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Is there someone else?" he asks finally, swallowing hard and trying to make those tears go away. I look at him sadly. I don't pity him, I just feel bad and well, dirty. And I don't answer. "There is then." He says more to himself then to me. "I knew it." He adds, but it's not accusing, it's a simple statement, almost understanding.  
  
"I'm sorry." I say the only possible thing I think there is to say. He lets out a small scoff and looks straight at me, almost daringly. I look away. I'm not sorry. He'll be better without me, I don't love him, I don't even care about him. I'm just an insensitive bastard. Who found his next victim. It's time to get rid of the previous, right?  
  
He knows it, but he doesn't say anything. Why can't those tears just fall out, it would make me feel better. He'd let out some kind of emotion. This doesn't look anything like him. But since when do I care?  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
Living in lie is not a life he would say. He's honest to himself and to me and I feel... weird. Both easier and miserable. He understands, that's a relief, but he also doesn't judge me, he's not mad, he's just... still amazing. Making me feel awful for leaving him.  
  
But there is nothing between us. I don't feel anything. I became like him, I'm observing him. And I realized I should just be myself. With him I can't do that. Losing myself is the worst thing that can happen to me. His words, again.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
He doesn't say he's sorry and I'm happy. As happy as I can be, that is. Those words would just hurt us both. We don't need lies.  
  
He's leaving me and that's it. I'm not going after him, I'll never do that. No matter how much it hurts I'm not showing it. It'll hurt both of us.  
  
There is a silent agreement between us, we understand each other at that moment. It doesn't work, we're moving on. There is nothing more to talk about. I watch him go away from me, soon I'll turn around and go in the opposite direction.  
  
I hope you'll be happy Yunho. I hope I will be too.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
He knows he just hurt me and I know he doesn't give a damn. I'm a fool, that's something we both know. He chooses to leave me, I'm not interesting anymore. I choose not to give him satisfaction of watching me cry.  
  
I look at him one last time although I'm sick of the sight of him lying to me. He did it again. This will be your last time. Without a word I walk away from him.  
  
I hope you'll get what you want Minwoo. I know I will.  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
I hurriedly dragged my suitcase as I stepped into the dorm. Crowd greeted me, as usual and I laughed as my mood suddenly jumped higher on the scale of hyperness. That's nothing new, I'm pretty much bipolar. Yeah, right. Ladies and gentleman, you're looking at Mr. Cheerful. You can leave all your worries and turn to me, life will become a happy place. Or is it world? Great, rambling again, what's next, talking to myself? Yeah, you guessed right. Don't worry about that either, you'll get used to it.  
  
Where was I? Oh yeah... God I can't believe I'm this late. I wanted to come before my roommate for once. Whoever he is. I can't believe this is happening every year. It wasn't even my fault this time.  
  
I finally found my new room and opened it.  
  
"Hello?" I called, but the place seemed as empty as it was before we went to summer holidays. I'm guessing of course, this wasn't my previous room, afterall. "Weird... I'm first." I said quietly and then realized it. "I'm first! Eric Moon first for the first time!" I yelled jumping up and down. Mood is dangerously reaching peak of the scale of hyperness, but who cares? This rules! Wait... does that mean I'm changing? But I don't want to change... Oh man.  
  
"Why did you stop?" a voice asked behind me and I quickly turned around. "It sounded like a good enough reason to continue that small celebration of yours." He chuckled as I rushed over to him to hug him.  
  
"Yunho!"  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I managed to let out a small laugh before Eric gave me one of his famous, suffocating hugs.  
  
"Eric... can't... breathe..." I gasped and he quickly released me.  
  
"Oh man, I can't believe we're roommates!" He squeeled. Yes, squeeled - you know, one of those sounds high school fangirls would let out. "This is gonna be the best year ever!"  
  
"High level of hyperness there hyung." I said, using one of his famous and favorite words and chuckling again. Sometimes I can't believe he's older then me.  
  
"Of course, man, I'm so happy!" he said jumping around.  
  
"Yeah, I noticed." I nodded. "But how come you're so late? Again." I asked. It was pretty normal for him not to come anywhere on time, but it was always interesting to hear the reason for it. Eric's life was everything but ordinary, Eric himself was everything but ordinary.  
  
"Oh that... I almost forgot. My parents, of course, didn't want to take responsibility for my poor Marshmallow and I couldn't leave her just like that." He said. I was suppressing laughter, while trying to nod understandingly. I mean, who calls their big dog Marshmallow? "So, I had to run to my cousin's place and since she, of course, wasn't at home and of course, turned off her cell phone..." Of course. "My poor Marshmallow and I had to wait in front of her house for hours. I'm lucky I managed to get here today. I swear, when my cousin goes shopping..." he trailed off. There is nothing poor about a dog which practically lives like a king. Sorry, a queen. Eric treats her like a baby, I'm surprised he managed to let go of her once again.  
  
"Well, as long as Marshy will be okay." I said smiling and patting his back as I took my suitcase and placed it near the closet.  
  
"Yeah, she loves it there." He said cheerfully and jumped on one of the beds. From now on, his, of course. "So, what's up with you? Anything interesting happened in past couple of weeks?" he asked. Yeah, we haven't seen each other in a while, although he was my best friend. Just with the whole thing going on with JaeJoong and me going to see my parents... I didn't have time for Eric.  
  
"No, nothing special." I shrugged. "You know, I went to see my folks, they're doing fine, everything's the same at home. I actually spent a lot of time reading and thinking, you know..." I said.  
  
"Uh oh, that doesn't sound good." He replied. "I mean, I bet you came to some philosophical conclusion that makes sense only to you."  
  
"Actually, I did come to a conclusion, but it didn't make sense only to me." I said sitting down as well. "I broke up with Jae."  
  
"What?" he asked widening his eyes. "But... but... you were such a great couple!" he said.  
  
"Key word: were." I replied. "I don't know... that relationship just began to suffocate me I guess."  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I just didn't notice that I kind of lost myself in the process you know?" he continued. "It was always JaeJoong, what he thought, what he wanted. It wasn't that he wanted it to be like that, our relationship. It just happened. I just realized I began turning into him, thinking like him, while at the same time that desire that existed in the beginning just disappeared. And it didn't grow into love."  
  
"Oh..." I said and nodded. We haven't really talked about his relationship with JaeJoong much. At least not like this, so it kind of surprised me to hear these things. "Okay, well, then, I guess it's better you ended it now."  
  
"Yeah." He nodded too.  
  
"Besides, JaeJoong is such a hot young man, he should find someone better." I nodded again, changing the mood as always. I smirked watching Yunho's reaction.  
  
"Someone like you?" he raised an eyebrow, but smiled anyway. He knew me too well - big teaser, Eric Moon's second name. "But Eric, dear, I thought you weren't gay." He added smiling knowingly.  
  
"I'm not, I'm just saying..." I replied.  
  
"Uh huh." He nodded. "You're surrounded with gays Eric, like... I think all your friends are into same sex. When are you going to give in?" I didn't know if he was serious, but what he said was true.  
  
"Never. Hanging out with gay people doesn't make me homosexual." I said seriously.  
  
"Geez hyung, I was kidding." He chuckled, but looked at me weirdly nonetheless.  
  
"I knew that..." I said and let out a fake chuckle, before I got up and started digging through my stuff.  
  
Right... it was a joke. Nice move, Eric, nice move.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was halfway through unpacking when a knock on the door interrupted me. I quickly went over to the door and opened it widely.  
  
"Waiting for me?" he asked as a big smile appeared on my face.  
  
  
Hyseung's P.O.V.  
  
  
He grinned and pulled me into a hug, causing me to drop my bags.  
  
"You missed me that much?" I chuckled. "But we saw each other like... last Friday."  
  
He pulled away and blushed chuckling slightly in embarrassment. Cutie Wan.  
  
"Oh... it feels like more time passed." He said grabbing my bags and walking back into the room. "How did you know this was my room also?" he asked.  
  
"I ran into Junsu." I replied. "That boy is on something. He was like running around the dorms like he sees them for the first time. He looked totally lost. He didn't even notice me at first, it took me like ten minutes to get him to answer me." I said shaking my head.  
  
"Don't mind him, he's on lack-of-shopping-and-things-to-wear fever. He's furious since yesterday. And he didn't even notice that I umm... borrowed one of his shirts yet." He chuckled. "Not to mention that the fact that he had million bags to carry with him wasn't helping. Of course, I wasn't helping. And umma didn't allow appa to help him carry them either, she kept talking about something like 'he should be a man and learn how to take care of himself...' and there was also famous 'you're not a girl, what do you need so many clothes for?' speech. So yeah... Little Junsu is a bit pi$$ed off."  
  
"I get it now." I laughed opening one of my bags and pulling clothes out of it. We remained silent for a couple of minutes. I went back to the thoughts of my recent break up. I couldn't believe my mind kept flying over to Minwoo. That jerk.  
  
"So what's up?" Dongwan asked one question I was trying to avoid and knew it was pointless. I had to tell him, sooner or later. He was my best friend, we never had secrets. The only person I could trust.  
  
But now, when the time of telling him actually came, I couldn't do it. More like I didn't have time to do it.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
He started crying. Just like that. What have I done? What have I said?  
  
"Hyesung?" I asked softly as I quickly walked over to him and hugged him. "What's wrong? What happened?" I asked panicking already.  
  
"Wan... He... he... broke up with me." He cried and I pulled him even closer as he hugged me back. Hearing him cry hurt me so much, I just wanted him to stop. I wanted to stop his pain and kill that bastard for hurting him in the first place. My Hyesung...  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Stupid..." I muttered not really knowing what was I referring to - my bags, my brother, my parents, me? No, not me, never me. These bags were just killing me and no one offered to help. I mean, what did I expect? Every year is the same here... except maybe, just maybe, I expected my brother to remember his unconditional love for me and help me out a bit.  
  
I finally reached my room, opened it and managed to pull my bags in with me. As I finally dropped all of them I looked around, noticing a couple of bags. Great! I bet my roommate already took a lot of space in our closets.  
  
Just as I was looking around thinking what to do with all the stuff I had the door opened. I looked at my new roommate and my jaw dropped. His expression was the same.  
  
"You!" we said at the same time, pointing at each other.


	3. Chapter 3

Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"What are you doing here?" I asked absolutely horrified.  
  
"What does it look like dumbass? This is my new room." He replied rolling his eyes, like it was the most obvious thing ever. Actually, it was. I just didn't want to believe it.  
  
"You mean... you're my new roommate?" I asked making a face.  
  
"Took you long enough... and people say you're smart." He scoffed. "God, what have I done to deserve this?" he muttered shaking his head.  
  
"Hey! I'm supposed to say that!" I replied.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Actually you got lucky." I muttered eyeing him and smirking lightly. Why not have a little fun?  
  
"In your dreams." He scoffed turning around and bending to open one of his numerous bags. He wasn't even aware what he did. I smirked at the nice sight of his @ss. Nice sight, my @ss... But I could always pretend.  
  
I slowly, quietly took a few steps, stopping right behind him and bent over as well.  
  
"You mean, in your dreams." I whispered into his ear and quickly straightened myself, just in time not to get hit by startled and suddenly very jumpy Junsu.  
  
"You jerk!" he practically screamed as his face turned a deeper shade of red and I smiled innocently, continuing my little act. "You... you... don't come close to me... ever!" he said furiously and I blinked a few times.  
  
"But Junsu... there is no need to deny it..." I said still smiling. "It's pretty pointless and actually... a pure waste of our precious time. I know a lot of enjoyable ways to spend it instead." I added with a wink.  
  
"You freak! I... I... you better not mess with me." He stuttered again and I already found it hard not to laugh.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Ooooh, what are you gonna do to me?" he asked in this oh-god-I'm-so-excited voice and I shuddered.  
  
"Nothing you'd want me to do perv." I muttered. "Stay away from me."  
  
"Oh come on, enough already... You can't resist this sexy body of mine, admit it!" he said coming closer to me.  
  
"What... Don't... stay away from me or I'm gonna... I'm..." I started backing away.  
  
"What? What are you gonna do Junsu?" he asked with this nasty glow in his eyes. I actually panicked.  
  
"I'm gonna... I'm gonna scream!" I said finally... I'm gonna scream? What the heck?  
  
"Oh Junsu... there you go... I told you there is no point in denying it... You're such a girl." He chuckled softly and stepped right in front of me, while my legs hit the bed. Damn. He raised his eyebrow looking into my eyes and bent down. I couldn't move, absolutely horrified.  
  
He leaned down, not breaking the eye contact with me and grabbed the towel that was lying on the bed.  
  
"That's my bed." he said walking away from me. "I'm gonna take a shower, don't touch anything." He said nonchalantly, not turning to face me and as he exited the room he gave me a small wave.  
  
I stood there frozen. It took me a minute to realize that the idiot was messing with me all the time.  
  
  
JunJin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I knocked on the door of my new room.  
  
"Come in!" I heard my new roommate say and I opened the door and stepped in along with my bags.  
  
He looked up from the book he was reading and I noticed the cover saying 'Life and work of George Gershwin'. I put my bags down.  
  
"Hey! I'm Minwoo." He said cheerfully as he came closer to me and extended his hand for me to shake.  
  
"JunJin." I introduced myself shaking his hand. "I see you're studying music." I said motioning to the book he was still holding.  
  
"Oh that... yeah." He nodded and put the book down.  
  
"Then I guess you'll meet my brother pretty soon." I continued. "He's majoring in music as well."  
  
"Cool. How about you?" he asked sitting down. "Sorry, I already claimed this bed as mine."  
  
"First come, first served, it's okay." I shrugged. I didn't like the position of that bed anyway. "I'm in art." I said examining the guy in front of me. He was good looking for sure and I could tell he was scanning me as well. Minwoo was screaming 'I'm gay.' I should know, I sense my own kind immediately. However he was too short for my taste and well, he was my roommate. That was like double minus. But if there was a lot of guys looking like Minwoo around here, I'm definitely satisfied with this transfer.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
I wonder if he will freak out when he finds out about me being gay. We're supposed to live together afterall. I knew I better tell him from the start, he's gonna hear soon enough anyway.  
  
"Listen..." I started, but he cut me off.  
  
"You're gay." He stated simply and gave me a small smirk.  
  
"Wh-... how?" I asked widening my eyes. I was shocked.  
  
"I can tell." He shrugged. "I am too."  
  
"Okay... but damn, am I really that obvious?"  
  
"You were looking at me too intensely. If you do that with every guy you meet, then yeah, you are that obvious." He nodded and laughed.  
  
"Oh... well... yeah, that's sort of a habit, sorry..." I apologized scratching my head a bit nervously. Then something crossed my mind. "Hey, you're not attracted to me, right?"  
  
"Oh wow, you're so blunt." He chuckled. "No, man, you're my roommate... and not really my type." Should I be offended?  
  
"Well, good. Because I already have someone." I said cockily.  
  
"A boyfriend? Nice." He smiled nodding knowingly.  
  
"Well, not exactly a boyfriend... yet. I just went out of one relationship... But I have someone on my mind." I explained. He nodded. "So, a good friend would be welcomed... maybe even an accomplice." I said adding a wink. He raised his perfect eyebrow and smirked. I think I already like this JunJin guy.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I looked around the dorms and smiled happily. I usually don't express my feelings towards my surroundings, although I am well aware of them. It's just... I don't know, the moment I stepped in here I got this good feeling and now I'm actually happy because of the whole transfer.  
  
I looked at the paper the office lady gave me and then looked around again, searching for my room. As I kept walking someone bumped into me, causing me to drop all the stuff I was carrying. He mumbled a 'sorry' and I waved my hand watching him walk away hurriedly. I bent down, picking up my things.  
  
"Let me help you." I heard a voice from above me and a guy bent down as well, picking up my stuff. I stood up and he followed handing me everything I dropped.  
  
"Thanks." I said looking up at him and almost gasped. He was so handsome, the only word that described him perfectly was sexy. I stared at his gorgeous eyes for a good, long moment while he smiled widely at me.  
  
I didn't know what to make out of my thoughts probably because I still didn't know where to place myself. It was funny, but I still didn't know if I was straight, gay or bi. I found the bi-group a little bit ridiculous, I mean swinging both way... it sounded like not being able to make up your mind to me. So, I strongly refused to be placed there. I liked girls, I even went out with a couple of them, despite my indoor personality. However I wasn't exactly indifferent to guys either. And the thing was - the more I think about it I find guys a lot more attractive then girls. The person in front of me proves that once again.  
  
I think I looked utterly lost and confused, in my own thoughts because the hottie in front of me shifted uncomfortably and flashed me another smile.  
  
"Do you need help with that?" he asked.  
  
"Huh? Oh... no... I'm fine." I nodded. He nodded as well and turned around to go... wherever he was heading to. "But... ummm... I'm actually kind of lost." I said quickly and he turned back to me smiling again. I handed him the paper with all the information and he nodded. "Your room is actually close to mine." Really? I smiled uncontrollably as he started leading the way.  
  
"That's cool." I replied following him. "I like it here." I said not knowing what else to say. I was never good in starting a conversation.  
  
"Yeah, you'll think differently when you get used to it." He said. I gave him a look. "I'm kidding." He laughed. "I'm pretty satisfied, besides the college is one of the best in the country."  
  
"Yeah, I heard that too." I replied.  
  
"So, you're a freshman?" he asked.  
  
"No, I'm in my third year, I just transferred here." I replied.  
  
"Cool, we're the same year." He smiled. "What are you studying?"  
  
"Music." I replied. "You?"  
  
"Drama. But one of my best friends is majoring music. Singing actually." He said cheerfully. "I guess I'll see you around then." He added as we reached the door of my room.  
  
"Yeah, thanks a lot." I replied smiling and stepped into my room. The moment I did so I realized I didn't even know his name.  
  
"Shoot..." I muttered and quickly opened the door, but he already disappeared. I sighed and closed the door again, sighing slightly. Oh well, I'll see him... around.  
  
"You forgot something?" a voice startled me and I quickly turned around. A gorgeous guy was smiling back at me. It was almost intimidating. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like I liked him, he just looked so... fragile... girly... no, well, not exactly. Beautiful. That's the word. He might resemble a girl, but once you looked closer he was a real man, beautiful, but man nonetheless.  
  
"No, I just met this hot..." I started, but then remembered we haven't even met. "I'm Yoochun." I said walking over to my roommate and shaking his hand.  
  
"JaeJoong." He nodded with a smile still lingering on his lips. "And I'm gay."  
  
I widened my eyes shocked. First thing he says to me right after we introduce ourselves is 'I'm gay'? I did something completely unexpected.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
He sat down next to me and started laughing so hard. I received all kinds of reactions after that statement, but this was the first time someone laughed.  
  
"Umm... Yoochun?" I started as he finally calmed himself and looked at me.  
  
"I'm sorry... it's just... a weird thing to hear from someone you just met." He said. "Do you do that always?"  
  
"No..." I replied. "Well, kind of. Maybe not exactly like this... I just didn't want you to freak out later, it's better to let it out right away. You don't have a problem with it?" I asked.  
  
"No... actually it's not the reason I laughed. You see, my brother is gay, I kind of got used to it." He said. I nodded. I was glad I didn't end up with some homophobe as a roommate. "Besides, I think I'm gay too."  
  
I looked at him. What is that supposed to mean?  
  
"You think?"  
  
"Yeah, I wasn't sure... I mean, I like girls, but I like guys more... but today I think I made my final decision about my sexual orientation." He said with a thoughtful look on his face.  
  
"Today?" I asked again. Don't tell me he likes me. I scooted a little bit away from him. "Why today?"  
  
"I met a really hot guy." He said and blushed deeply.  
  
"It's not me, right?" I panicked.  
  
"No, no, don't worry..." He said hurriedly and smiled. "I like you, but not like that."  
  
"Okay, I like you too... I guess..." I said giving him a weird look. "So, who's the guy?" I asked, but then remembered the way he came into the room. "Oh, that guy you just met before you came into the room?" I asked. I felt like a girl gossiping about boys.  
  
"How did you know?" he asked.  
  
"The way you walked in, remember? You didn't ask him what's his name, did you?" I asked knowingly.  
  
"Damn you're good." He gasped.  
  
"Of course, I'm Kim JaeJoong." I replied somewhat cockily, then laughed at my own lame joke. He laughed as well.  
  
"You're weird." He said.  
  
"I know, but you're too." I replied.  
  
"True..." he nodded. "So, friends?"  
  
"Friends." I nodded accepting his hand and shaking it again.


	4. Chapter 4

JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"This is the beginning of a wonderful friendship." I attempted to paraphrase famous sentence.  
  
"Eww... 'Casablanca' is so corny!" he exclaimed.  
  
"It's not! And you so are a gay... saying 'eww'..." I replied.  
  
"Yeah, at least I'm not watching chick flicks."  
  
"Hey, 'Casablanca' is not a chick flick!" I defended. I don't know why I continued defending it, it was a good movie, but not at all one of my favorites.  
  
"You're in drama, right?"  
  
"Wrong! Third year of art. You?" I asked.  
  
"Aaah cool. Music!" he replied. "You're in class with my brother then."  
  
"Nice. Hot?" I asked raising my eyebrow playfully.  
  
"God, no, he's my brother." He laughed. "And the biggest manwhore I've ever seen."  
  
"You haven't met the guys here yet." I laughed back.  
  
"Oh... well, it doesn't matter to me as long as I meet that hottie again." He replied. "But I bet Jin will be thrilled."  
  
"Jin?" I asked.  
  
"My brother, JunJin." He explained.  
  
"Right." I nodded. So, he's in my class. Well, hopefully we'll be friends. If he's anything like Yoochun, I'm sure we will be. "So, what did you talk about with that guy if you didn't have time to find out his name?" I asked.  
  
"Well, nothing really, his room is close to ours, he's third year, just like us and he's in drama."  
  
"Drama?" I asked. "Cool." I said quietly. Room close to us... drama... no, it couldn't be...  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Are you alright?" Dongwan asked me as I stopped sobbing. I nodded moving slightly away from him and gave him a weak smile. "You're not." He said brushing his fingers against my cheek, softly collecting the remaining tears.  
  
"I will be." I replied. "Thanks Wannie."  
  
"It's nothing." He said shrugging. But it was something, it was a lot.  
  
Dongwan and I have been friends since diapers. Being an only child I haven’t had closer person then him. He has always been there for me, protecting me from the rest of the world, taking care of me. He was my hyung, he loved me for me, not asking anything in return for everything he gave me.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
He looked at me and I understood what he was thinking. He wasn't thanking me for this little bit of comfort I gave him today, he was thanking me for just being there for him. For all these years. It didn't matter much, I wanted to give him so much more.  
  
"Just don't cry, alright?" I said quickly, knowing that once all the emotions overwhelm him I won't be able to stop those tears. He nodded quickly and glanced away laughing lightly, then embraced me again.  
  
"I love you hyung." He said. It was a common thing between us. Those three words that could have so many meanings. What kind of love is it actually?  
  
"I love you too." You have no idea how much...  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I think I'm turning gay!" Those were Eric's first words when he entered our room. He was in some weird state of panic.  
  
"Calm down, will you?" I said as he began pacing through the room.  
  
"No, how can I? I mean, it's not normal... one moment you love boobs, the next..." he trailed off.  
  
"You can't even say it!" I laughed. "How do you know you're gay?"  
  
"Exactly!" he nodded. "How do I know? I mean, the fact I met a good-looking guy who for some reason turned me on doesn't mean a thing, right? It's nothing, anyone could like that kind of guy... He's sexy, he has that innocent aura around him, he's all shyly cute. Anyone can be attracted to him. Man, he's hot..."  
  
"Looks like someone has a crush." I smirked as the thought of Eric being gay as well finally hit me. It was about time.  
  
"Oh man..." he whined finally sitting down on his bed and putting his head into his hands.  
  
"Eric..." I started, but he suddenly got up again, interrupting me.  
  
"That's what I get for hanging out with bunch of gay guys... It's contagious, I swear, it is!" he said pacing again and I shook my head. God, this guy was so bipolar. "I can't believe being friends with you guys made me homosexual."  
  
"You're talking nonsense now." I muttered.  
  
"Yeah? How do you explain me turning gay then?" he asked turning to me.  
  
"You don't explain that. You just are one." I replied. He walked over to me.  
  
"Yunho... I don't know if I'm one. I don't know..." he said, then leaned closer. "Kiss me. I must know."  
  
"What? Are you crazy? No!" I practically yelled pushing him away and jumping up from my chair.  
  
"Oh god, what am I doing?" he shook his head. "Sorry..."  
  
"No, it's ok, just calm down." I said sighing and walked over to him again. "Okay, relax. You might not be gay, yet. You liked the guy, so what? Maybe you need to experiment a little bit." He gave me a look. "Not with me." I quickly added taking a step back. "But then again, you might be going through denial, in which case you really are gay."  
  
"You're not very helpful, you know?" he replied.  
  
"I know, but there is no other way for me to help you, you have to go through it by yourself. Don't think much about it, it'll just give you a headache. You'll figure out who you are... eventually." I said, trying not to frown at my own words. I knew it didn't sound very encouraging. He nodded though, calming down completely and sighed lying down on his bed.  
  
"So... you met a guy?" I asked lying down on my own bed and turning so I could face him. A small smile appeared on my face as his face lit up.  
  
"Yeah... did I mention how sexy he is?"  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
This is going to be hard. I knew it. First thing Changmin said when he came back into the room was something about making a list of rules. Something about what we are allowed to do in the room and what not.  
  
"Alright, fine." I said as I continued to unpack my bags. But then something caught my eye. "What's with all the books?" I asked looking at Changmin's two bags filled with them.  
  
"I need them to study, of course." He replied like a true smartass. "What's with all the clothes?"  
  
"I need them to get laid, of course." I half-joked. I wasn't that shallow.  
  
"You get laid with your clothes on?"  
  
"I get laid because of my clothes... Thanks to them." I replied wishing for him to just drop it. I love clothes, I have a lot of them. I need them to keep my sexy image, they're like... a part of me. Does it matter?  
  
"Well, if that's everything you can offer..." he said glancing me up and down, his gaze resting on one particular area of my body. I was fuming inside - both because of his words and his behavior.  
  
"What are you looking at perv?" I growled.  
  
"Your equipment." He replied nonchalantly. I hate when he did that.  
  
"W-what?" I stuttered widening my eyes. How could someone be so blunt?  
  
"I don't know what's so special about it... no wonder you need all those clothes." He said scoffing slightly again and turned to our list that miraculously appeared in front of him. I widened my eyes once again, feeling my anger boiling... once again.  
  
I decided to control myself a bit longer. Get over with the stupid list. Maybe I'll have some peace after that.  
  
"Just start with the rules." I muttered dropping one of my shirts and sitting down on the bed.  
  
"First of all, you're not allowed to sit on my bed unless I give you the permission." He said pointing to the bed I just sat on. I stood up faster then I sat and moved onto my bed.  
  
"Don't flatter yourself, I would never sit on it." I glared.  
  
"You just did." He smirked, scribbling it down.  
  
"The same goes for you." I said still not having anything to say back to him.  
  
"Of course." He nodded. "Okay..." he looked around at our stuff. "I don't need much space for my clothes so you can take the bigger closet, you obviously need it." He smirked. I nodded.  
  
"I expect you to keep your precious books away from me... any of your stuff away from me. I don't want them coming into my way or anything..."  
  
"Oh don't worry, I'll make sure you don't touch any of my things." He said. "Take care of your stuff as well. You know, keep the room clean. At least your part of the room... I don't want to go through your sheet to find something that belongs to me."  
  
"I never knew you're such a neat freak." I stated. "But considering you're a nerd, that doesn't surprise me." I said rolling my eyes.  
  
"You have a problem with it? At least I have looks and a brain." He smirked.  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?" I growled.  
  
"Figure it out smarty! You're either slow, either playing stupid. Which one is it?"  
  
"You're the smart one... figure it out!" I muttered again and glared at him.  
  
After a couple of moments of silence he sighed.  
  
"Let's just get it over with..." he muttered. "Okay, no girls allowed." He stated suddenly.  
  
"Wait, what?" I asked.  
  
"No girls allowed." I guess I heard him right. "You know, creatures with long hair, boobs... we need them in order to continue mankind... hopefully, it'll change soon." He smiled cheekily and started writing his rule down.  
  
"Hey, stop! Who said I agreed to it?" I said ignoring all his stupid rambling about girls.  
  
"You don't need to agree to it, this is my room as well. I'm gonna follow that rule and if I'm following it, you are too."  
  
"You're gonna follow that rule because you're gay!" I raised my voice. "Then... then... no guys allowed either."  
  
"If you haven't noticed, we are guys... and even if we ignore that small fact you won't be allowed to bring your brother over, nor any of your friends... who by the way are all gay." He chuckled. Damn, I hate when he's right. Which is always. I hate him! "I'm glad you agree your rule is... well, ridiculous."  
  
"Yours is too."  
  
"But girls are not allowed in guys dorms anyway, you just kept sneaking them in, didn't you?" he raised one of his eyebrows and gave me something that looked like a flirty smile. I shuddered. "You're not allowed to bring girls, but feel free to bring guys. I'd love to watch... or join... whatever turns you on." There goes that wink again.  
  
"I'm not going to survive living with you." I shook my head sadly.  
  
"Oh, you will, Junsu." He replied nodding. He put the pen down and looked over at me.  
  
"You will and you'll love it... oh, I forgot the last rule..." I looked at him.  
  
"There is more?"  
  
"Of course." He smirked grabbing the pen again.  
  
"You're not allowed to fall in love with me."


	5. Chapter 5

JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
Hurriedly crossing the street I smiled at Hyesung waving at me, right before I entered the café. I haven't seen him in a while and I missed our little chats. This was our place, we would always come here during the breaks between our classes, it was weird that we haven't met much during vacation. But I guess it was normal.  
  
I met Hyesung on first day of college, two years ago. Being in the same class we've been spending a lot of time together and became good friends. We're different, but we always got along pretty well, talking about all kinds of stuff.  
  
"Hey Jae!" Hyesung greeted me cheerfully.  
  
"Hey Sungie." I smiled sitting down and turned to the waitress, ordering a coffee.  
  
"How are you baby?" he asked suddenly, putting his hand on top of mine and I smiled knowingly, glancing at the waitress' shocked expression. I smiled sweetly back at Hyesung and poor girl quickly left us alone.  
  
"New waitress again." I chuckled as Hyesung removed his hand and nodded glancing at the bartender. He flashed him a smile. I turned myself and waved at him, Heechul was an old friend.  
  
I turned back to Hyesung.  
  
"I'm fine, how have you been?" I asked back. I wasn't exactly fine, but that could wait.  
  
"Well, good..." he said shrugging slightly and I could see he had something to tell me, but hesitated. He took a sip of his drink avoiding eye contact.  
  
"That doesn't sound convincing Sungie. What happened?" I asked as waitress came with my coffee. I nodded smiling up at her, but I think it freaked her out, because she hurriedly went away from our table.  
  
"Minwoo left me." He said looking down.  
  
"No." I said widening my eyes. Okay, I wasn't exactly surprised, everyone knew Minwoo was a bastard, but his relationship with Hyesung was... well, relationship. That was new for Minwoo, we all knew that. At first we thought it's gonna finish faster then it started, but Minwoo surprised us all. It looked like he actually cared for Hyesung. Now it looks like he just wanted to prove us all wrong. A disgusting feeling filled me, was it just a game for him?  
  
"Yeah... I know what you're gonna say, you were right from the beginning, you all were." He said.  
  
"No, Sungie, I'm not gonna say anything. He's an idiot, he's not aware of it yet." I replied softly. "I'm sure you'll find someone who's million times better than him." I said knowing it's gonna be true. It was usually a line people were saying just to make someone feel better, but in Hyesung's case I knew it'll be true.  
  
"Thanks Jae..." he whispered and I patted his hand smiling brightly.  
  
"But hey! If it's gonna make you feel better, I got dumped too." I said trying to sound cheerful again and quickly took a sip of my coffee, hiding behind the cup slightly.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
"What? Yunho..." I asked shocked. They were like... a perfect couple. Everyone envied them for their relationship. How could it be?  
  
"Yeah... I understand him actually." He said, although I could see he wasn't okay with it. "Maybe we became too much like... like an old married couple."  
  
"But wasn't it good? Your relationship was so strong."  
  
"Well, not really. We care about each other a lot, but he doesn't love me." He sighed and swallowed. "I don't know, maybe it's better this way. I know it would be a torture if we continued with it. I know there is no way to make him love me. I've been thinking about it a lot and I'm not so sure I loved him either. It's hard to think about us not being together anymore, but I can't blame him and I don't want things the way they used to be anymore." I nodded understanding. "However, I'm still not prepared to face him, spend time with him, be friends like nothing happened, you know." He chuckled. "I need more time."  
  
"I understand." I nodded again. "I'm not gonna say you're gonna find someone better than him, but I'm sure you'll find someone who'll love you."  
  
"Well, that kind of makes him better than Yunho, right?" he chuckled.  
  
"True." I nodded and laughed. We drank a bit in silence, then I smiled. "Hey! You didn't tell me who's your new roommate."  
  
"Oh, right!" he chuckled. "You don't know him, he's new, he just transferred here. Cool guy, we get along well so far. Oh, and he has a brother who's in our class."  
  
"Great! Well, at least that's good." I smiled. "I'm with Dongwan."  
  
"Things can't get better for you there." He chuckled. I smiled broadly, of course there was nothing better than sharing a room with your best friend. "Will there ever be any kind of progress between you guys?" he asked suddenly.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"It's obvious Sungie, the boy wants you." He giggled playfully, like an excited high-school girl.  
  
"Stop it, of course he does not, we're just friends." I said blushing deeply.  
  
"My dear Hyesung, there is no such thing as 'just friends'. Once you start using that phrase it becomes obvious there is so much more then 'just friends' there. That's called denial my dear friend. D.E.N.I.A.L. Denial." He stated drinking the rest of his coffee and smiled. "Sungie I have to run, sorry. I'll see you tomorrow." He said getting up. "Think about what I said." He added patting me on the back, then waved to Hyesung and went out of the café.  
  
Denial? No... it can't be... we're just friends.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
I put my pen down and leaned back, taking a break from my work when Hyesung entered the room.  
  
"Hey." He said putting his jacket down and smiling at me.  
  
"Hey!" I replied smiling back. "How was it with JaeJoong?"  
  
"Okay..." he shrugged sitting down. "You know, as usual."  
  
"Oh I know." I nodded. Jae was Hyesung's closest friend after me and Junsu and since Hyesung wasn't the most outgoing person out there it meant a lot. "So, how's he doing?"  
  
"Well... well I guess... considering everything." He said.  
  
"What? Did something happen?" I asked worriedly.  
  
"Didn't you know? Yunho broke up with him."  
  
"What? How? They're like... made for each other." I gasped. Now this was shocking news.  
  
"I know... But yeah, it happened. I thought Yunho told you." He said.  
  
"No. I'm not that close to him." I replied. "We haven't heard from each other in a while."  
  
"Oh, I see." He nodded. "What are you doing?" he asked suddenly getting up and walking over to me. "Writing again?" he added as he looked at papers in front of me.  
  
"Yeah, new film you know..." I trailed off.  
  
"What's it about?" He asked picking up random page. I snatched it away from him.  
  
"It's a secret." I said putting the paper back down and chuckled. "Nah, it's just this idea I had on my mind for a while... we'll see how it's gonna turn out."  
  
"Okay... well, maybe it's better if it's a secret." He smiled. "Who's gonna be in it this time?" he asked sitting back down.  
  
"Well, I was thinking about Eric and Yunho, but I haven't talked with them about it yet."  
  
"I'm sure they'll be all for it." He chuckled.  
  
"Yeah, I hope so." I nodded, collecting my papers.  
  
"What? Done for today?"  
  
"Yeah..." I replied, but got interrupted.  
  
Junsu walked into the room. Well, more like barged in.  
  
"Hey guys!" he said sitting down next to Hyesung.  
  
"Sungie!" he exclaimed hugging him. "Help me, please! Save me!" he whaled. I raised my eyebrow.  
  
"I think we should put 'Lunatics not allowed' sign on the door." I said to Hyesung, who chuckled in return.  
  
"Yeah, well, it's better then 'Girls not allowed' is it?" Junsu snapped turning to me.  
  
"I really wouldn't know. I don't need girls." I replied.  
  
"Well, I do!" he said again. "And I can't have them anymore. I also can't do bunch of other stuff in my own room thanks to all these stupid rules that idiot thought of. I'm gonna go crazy by the end of the year!"  
  
"By the end of the year? I thought you already went crazy. Or is it you were born crazy? Hmm..." I said pretending to think about which one was true. My little dongsaeng glared at me again.  
  
"Shut up and help me will you?" he muttered.  
  
"Wait a second, I don't get anything here anymore." Hyesung said. "Who's he? Who's your roommate?"  
  
"That perverted sadistic idiot, Shim Changmin." Junsu replied. "You know, the nerdy gay who's gonna rape me upon the first opportunity."  
  
"Oh, sweety Min?" Hyesung smiled broadly. I smiled as well, Minnie was adorable smarty, loved by everyone. Well, everyone but Junsu.  
  
"There is absolutely nothing sweet about that jerk!" Junsu said jumping up. "Right hyung?" he asked me for support.  
  
"Sorry Junsu, I'm with Hyesung here." I replied.  
  
"You're always with Hyesung... why did I bother coming?" he exclaimed again throwing his arms in the air helplessly. What a drama queen...  
  
"Oh come on, it's not gonna be that bad. Maybe it's a sign, you should just become friends - it's about time you know." Hyesung continued smiling sweetly.  
  
"Sign, my ass..." Junsu muttered walking to the door to leave the room, but then turned to point at me. "Oh and if you think I didn't notice my shirt missing you're wrong mister." He said before exiting the room.  
  
I looked at Hyesung and we both burst out laughing.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Did you wait long?" I asked as I approached JaeJoong in the park in front of the dorms.  
  
"No, I just got here, don't worry." He answered smiling.  
  
"Good. I'm still getting used to this place." I said looking around again.  
  
"I understand, you just got here. It's all good, you won't get lost, you'll get used to it pretty soon." He said.  
  
"Yeah, I like it here, it inspires me actually." I smiled. I already had a melody on my mind, I needed to write it down. And find the piano. That's the first thing I should do tomorrow. After classes, that is.  
  
"That's great." He smiled broadly. "I can't wait to hear some of your stuff."  
  
"I can't wait to see some of yours." I replied chuckling.  
  
"I left all the stuff I was working on during summer at home, but that's okay, I'll have plenty of paintings and drawings for you to see." He nodded. "You know I have a big passion..." he added. I raised my eyebrows curiously. He chuckled. "It's nothing special, I just like photography. More than painting actually. It just... helps me in my work for some weird reason... I learned to look at stuff differently I guess. Thinking of composition and all, you know?"  
  
"I get it." I nodded smiling. "That's great Jae!"  
  
"Yeah... well, I need to improve a lot, but I love it, so yeah..." he smiled again.  
  
"That's the most important thing. Loving what you do." I said.  
  
"I absolutely agree." He nodded. "But, hey, enough about that, you'll see my works and I'll hear yours and than we'll talk."  
  
"Alright, deal." I agreed and then proceeded to look at people around us. And then I spotted him. "Jae... Look... there... it's him. The guy I met yesterday." I said excitedly, pointing discreetly at the hottie that proved my homosexuality.  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yunho... I have to find him!" I said anxiously. I couldn't sleep properly last night and I was nervous as hell, cursing myself for not even asking for the guy's name yesterday.  
  
"Later man, I told you Changmin is waiting for us." Yunho replied practically dragging me away from the dorms.  
  
"Okay, but later... I just want to see him, you know." I said. I really just wanted to see him. And maybe introduce myself properly. But most important - find out who he was.  
  
"Yeah, sure. Of course you're not gay." Yunho smirked knowingly and I shot him a glare. Wanting to meet someone better doesn't mean I'm attracted to him... like that.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Do you see him?" I asked looking back and forth from the guy to Jae.  
  
"Yeah, I see him." He nodded, frowning slightly.  
  
"Well? Do you know him?" I asked again, getting anxious.  
  
"Yeah." He nodded again.  
  
"Oh my god! You do?" I asked smiling widely and practically shaking Jae, who wasn't even looking at me. His eyes were fixed on the guy.  
  
"He's my ex."


	6. Chapter 6

JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I couldn't believe it was happening. Out of all people Yoochun just had to run into Yunho and like him so much.  
  
"Jae... I... I'm sorry." He said silently and looked down. I sighed.  
  
"It's not your fault." I replied. "It doesn't matter really, I can't stop you from seeing him and I don't want to either." I added, although both of us knew it mattered. I felt like sh.it.  
  
"No, I'm not gonna see him. I'm not that big of a jerk." He continued shaking his head slightly.  
  
"You should. He's a great guy." I said and swallowed. "It didn't work out between us, but maybe it will between you guys." I couldn’t believe what I was saying, it hurt me so much.  
  
"When did you break up?" he asked.  
  
"Two weeks ago." I replied silently.  
  
"Man..." he sighed. "I'm sorry Jae."  
  
"Stop it, you didn't know, it's totally okay." I said firmly. "I'm not ready to talk to him yet, be around him, that's all. I'll be alright with time, don't pay attention to me."  
  
"How am I supposed to do that? You're my friend." He asked and I smiled at his words.  
  
"I'll be alright. Honestly." I patted him on the shoulder and stood up. "Let's go."  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was supposed to meet with Eric and Yunho in a nearby café. With college starting tomorrow the place was crowded. The atmosphere was familiar to me and I smiled, feeling good. I loved college, my studies, people... it was great. It was definitely good to be back.  
  
"Happy to be back?" a familiar voice startled me and I smiled looking up at Heechul.  
  
"Hey!" I replied cheerfully. "What's up man? I see you have a lot of work." I said looking around and then back at him. Heechul was just a bartender in this café, but he was basically part of the college, everyone knew him, everyone talked to him, everyone loved him.  
  
"Yeah, as usual." He shrugged. "What's up? I bet you can't wait for classes to start."  
  
"Yeah, that... and well, let's say this year's gonna be interesting." I smirked drinking my coffee.  
  
"Oh yeah? Why's that?" he asked and I gave him a knowing look. "Something involving Kim Junsu?" I nodded grinning openly now. "Oh don't tell me..." he started widening his eyes.  
  
"Yep, he's my roommate." I nodded. "Now... what was that bet about?"  
  
"I can't believe it." He shook his head and took out his wallet, pulling money out of it and placing it in my open palm. I grinned again. "Poor Junsu..." he shook his head and went away to catch up with other old friends. I laughed placing money into my back pocket.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"There he is." I said pulling Eric with me and walking over to Changmin.  
  
"Hyungs!" he said smiling and stood up to hug us.  
  
"Hey Min! Missed us much?" Eric grinned sitting down and I followed, smiling as well.  
  
"Yeah, you know I can't live without you." He replied sarcastically and smiled.  
  
"See Yunho? He doesn't need us anymore... after all we did for him..." Eric shook his head dramatically and waved to Heechul who nodded in return. He already knew what we usually drank.  
  
"Yeah, our baby is all grown up now." I chuckled ruffling Min's hair and leaned on Eric's arm. "Wanna make another one?" I winked.  
  
"Shut up dork." He scooted away from me and I pouted.  
  
"Oh, you want to make babies with someone else, I see..."  
  
"I do not..." he blushed furiously and grinned at Heechul who personally brought us our coffee. Saved by the... Heechul?  
  
"Hey guys!" Heechul said cheerfully and sat down. "What did I miss?"  
  
"I'm clueless." Changmin replied. "What's that all about?"  
  
"Eric hyung here has a little crush." I cackled.  
  
"Hyung! Really?" Min asked widening his eyes and getting all excited.  
  
"It's so not a crush." Eric replied. "Just because I want to get to know someone better..."  
  
"... and jump him and make love with him like there's no tomorrow..." I interrupted grinning. Eric shot me a glare.  
  
"Woah... wait! Him?" Heechul asked raising an eyebrow at Eric.  
  
"Oh, yes, our hyung suddenly turned gay!" I nodded proudly.  
  
"Hyung!" Changmin smiled happily. "Finally!"  
  
"What do you mean finally?" Eric asked. "Besides, I'm not gay. You said I'm not gay." He turned to me.  
  
"No, I said you might not be gay, but judging by your constant asking and looking for the mysterious guy I'm positive you're gay now." I replied nodding.  
  
"Oh no..." he said putting his head into his hands.  
  
"Oh yes!" Changmin exclaimed causing Heechul to laugh. I cackled myself and patted Eric on his back.  
  
"Oh come on, baby, you should be happy. Now you're one of us!" I laughed.  
  
"I don't want to be one of you..." he pouted.  
  
"But hyung, you're too hot to be straight anyway..." Changmin started winking at me. "Oh this is gonna be so much fun, you'll join all our conversations now."  
  
"You don't mean..." he started.  
  
"Our dirty conversations, yes." I nodded finishing for him.  
  
"Oh no..." he repeated shaking his head.  
  
"Oh yes." Changmin repeated as well smiling brightly. "We want to know everything about your love... I mean sex life." Eric looked at him horrified and I laughed.  
  
"That's true, you also get to hear all about ours, right Min?" I said winking at Min.  
  
"Finally someone other then me hearing those perverted stuff." Heechul jumped in and I grinned. Messing with Eric was so much fun.  
  
"You're not serious..." Eric gasped looking at the three of us.  
  
"Of course we are." Min said nodding. "Besides, it's good to exchange such stories... learning from other people's experience... especially when other people are your best friends." He said as-a-matter-of-factly and I suppressed the urge to laugh. Eric bought it. He stayed silent for a minute, thinking about it, I assume completely horrified. I decided to change the topic, leaving him to think we were serious for some time.  
  
"So, what's up with you?" I asked looking at Changmin.  
  
"Oh nothing." Changmin smiled. That smile definitely meant something.  
  
"Nothing, really..." Heechul smirked and I raised an eyebrow looking at the both of them.  
  
"Yeah, nothing special, just... I have an interesting roommate. It's gonna be hard living with him, but I'll manage just fine. You know, challenge and all..." Changmin continued.  
  
"You'll never guess who the roommate is." Heechul said sarcastically and a name popped into my head. Who's the one person Changmin can't stand? Who's the one that drives him crazy, his rival, person who he always have to fight in order to confirm his status of the best singer in college? And the person who doesn't let him do so? They're always the best, together. And it always pi$$es Min off. The one and only...  
  
"Kim Junsu." Changmin said and his face darkened instantly. I think it was one name Changmin hated. Truly hated. He wasn't the one to hate, sweety Min - everyone called him that and everyone knew he was the nicest guy they've ever met. But mention of Kim Junsu's name would always drive him crazy. He didn't really hate Junsu, just everything he represented.  
  
Kim Junsu was a player, a person who would party like there is no tomorrow, not paying much attention to his studies, but getting the best results nonetheless. He was straight, surrounded with girls, he was popular, he was everyone's role model. Immature, irresponsible, but still the best in everything he did. Changmin couldn't quite understand that, when he was the one studying like a lunatic, rarely going out and having no love life at all. The only thing they both had were friends and, ironically, in some weird way they were a part of the same crowd.  
  
"That's gonna be interesting." Eric said suddenly smiling, obviously happy he wasn't the theme of the conversation anymore.  
  
"I agree. You can't stand each other." I nodded.  
  
"I'm gonna stand him as long as he follows the rules. We'll see who'll last longer." Min replied smirking evilly.  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
We were on our way back to the dorm. I still couldn't stop laughing from what Changmin told us.  
  
"I can't believe he made up rules for Junsu to follow." Yunho shook his head.  
  
"Yeah, I know. Poor Junsu." I replied, but shut up when I saw a familiar figure approaching us. He spotted us and stopped for a moment, but then smiled and walked up to us.  
  
"JaeJoong, hi!" I said cheerfully, trying to avoid an awkward situation, but I realized it was late for that.  
  
"Eric, Yunho..." he nodded. "What's up? You were at Heechul's?" he asked. The café was called 'Artsy', but the whole college knew it as 'Heechul's'.  
  
"Yeah." Yunho nodded. "Eric here is gay, that's new." He chuckled. JaeJoong widened his eyes, much like Changmin did. Thanks Yunho. Although I'll forgive you this time, I knew how hard it was to be around Jae, let alone talk to him.  
  
"Eric?" Jae asked smirking lightly.  
  
"Yeah, I kind of like this guy." I chuckled blushing.  
  
"That's great! Welcome to the gay community." He smiled. "Okay, well, I'll catch up with you later." He added. "I have some stuff to do." I nodded and Jae started walking away from us.  
  
"You go first." Yunho said quietly and I obeyed leaving for the dorm.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Jae!" he called me and I stopped until he caught up with me.  
  
"Yeah?" I asked glancing at him and continued to walk, but he stopped me, standing in front of me.  
  
"I... it's awkward..." he said looking away from me.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to run into you guys. I should be more careful." I said sighing. It hurt me, but it was the best for both of us. To just stay away from each other.  
  
"No, I didn't mean it like that." He said. "I don't want us to hide from each other. It's awkward and painful... I don't want it to be like that."  
  
"I need some time Yunho." I said looking into his eyes. "I can't just pretend like nothing happened."  
  
"I know." He looked down.  
  
"Listen... we'll be alright, just not now." I continued. "It would be better if we don't see each other as much as we can. If we really can't avoid it, then fine. I understand you, I know why we broke up, why it didn't work. I'll heal, I just can't do that over the night. Alright?"  
  
"Alright." He nodded. I walked past him. "Jae..." he called again. "If you need me, I'll always be there for you." I gave him a small smile.  
  
I know Yunho, I know.


	7. Chapter 7

Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"It's not good. Do it again." Changmin said and I shot him a glare.  
  
"Thanks Changmin, I'd say it myself." Minwoo replied smirking lightly. I knew what he was thinking. We were practicing Minwoo's new song, I was supposed to sing it, but somehow I would always go off key in one part.  
  
The classes ended half an hour ago and we were tired, but decided to stay and practice a little bit. That new guy, Yoochun, was with us and I liked him. He was a nice guy, helpful too. He had smart suggestions, helping Minwoo and making things easier in more then one way. He would even ease the tension building up between me and Changmin.  
  
Thank god we weren't alone, with Minwoo and Yoochun in the room it was safe enough to think we won't kill each other. But why did he have to stay after classes? It's not like he did anything. Except pi$$ing me off. Oh well, it was his main purpose ever since we met, so what's new? Like it wasn't enough I had to go to classes with him now I had to live with him as well. Too much Shim Changmin invading my life, I was afraid I won't be able to handle it. But the thought of him making me break down - it was making me furious every time. I sure won't let him win.  
  
I started singing again, but my voice broke at the same place again. Changmin the jerk sighed loudly, but as I shot him a look I noticed he had a barely visible smirk on his face. Making fun of me again, daring me again?  
  
"Junsu..." Minwoo sighed as well and shook his head. "It's like this..." he started explaining, but Changmin cut him off.  
  
"Let me do it hyung!" he said pretending to be annoyed, like he wanted to get it over with and go home, but he sounded way to cheerful for that. Minwoo looked at him, then back at me, but there was nothing he could do. I gritted my teeth as I listened to Changmin sing the song perfectly.  
  
"That's it." Minwoo nodded. "You can do it Junsu?"  
  
"Of course." I said cockily and glanced at Changmin again who scoffed and rolled his eyes at me.  
  
"Guys, I think we should finish for today, I have to go." Yoochun said and I smiled at him thankfully. I didn't want to go through another humiliation, proving Changmin right again. He wasn't better than me. Too bad I couldn't escape him, I couldn't practice in my room now, not with him there.  
  
"Alright, I'll see you guys tomorrow." Minwoo nodded picking up his stuff. I quickly gathered my things and left the classroom first, doing my best to avoid going back to the room with Changmin. As I passed him I shot him a look, but he smiled slightly and winked at me. That little...  
  
  
JunJin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into my room and sat down on my chair, leaning back slightly. The door opened soon after and Minwoo came in as well.  
  
"Hey!" I said smiling and taking my sketchbook out of my bag.  
  
"Hey. How was your first day?" Minwoo asked sitting down on his bed.  
  
"Fun." I said. "Okay, not exactly fun, but it was good." I shrugged taking pencil and starting drawing.  
  
"Good." He nodded. "I met your brother."  
  
"Oh yeah? What's Yoochunnie doing?" I smirked. He hated when I called him that.  
  
"He's... nothing like you." Minwoo replied.  
  
"That's true." I nodded laughing slightly, still looking at my work.  
  
"It's weird... to think of you guys being related." He continued. "It's like, you're so outgoing and talkative while he's all shy and more into himself. We did talk a bit and he met other guys, but he wasn't exactly open for conversation."  
  
"Yeah, he's like that when he meets someone for the first time. He'll start talking soon enough. Just don't expect him to talk endlessly. Especially about himself. He can be a big mystery. My brother." I joked. It was pretty true, Yoochun wasn't opening up to just anyone. I was his brother and I couldn't quite understand him. Even I wasn't that close to him. Sometimes I would feel bad because of it, but I would just think that he'll turn to me when the time comes and forget about it. I'm waiting for that moment to come.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
Dongwan was already in our room by the time I came back from my classes. He smiled looking up from his work as I sat down across from him.  
  
"What's up?" he asked.  
  
"Nothing, we have new guy in the class. Park JunJin. Jae mentioned him when we saw each other the other day. He's his roommate's brother." I replied. "Seems like a nice guy." I shrugged.  
  
"Cool." He nodded.  
  
"Have you talked to Eric and Yunho yet?" I asked.  
  
"No, not yet. I will soon. I talked to the professor though and he approved my film. He likes the story." He said smiling.  
  
"When will I be able to hear about it?" I asked standing up and walking over to him. I hugged him from behind and glanced over his shoulder, but he quickly put the papers away. "You're mean." I pouted pulling away from him, but he caught my wrist and pulled me into his lap. I blushed suddenly, but he laughed.  
  
"Soon... can you wait till the movie is done?" he teased as I was struggling to get away from him. He didn't let me go, I hated being so weak.  
  
"You are mean." I repeated looking at him.  
  
"Sungie, you know your opinion is important to me and this movie is important to me as well. But as much as I would like to hear what you think about it I want to finish it before I show it to you. And no, you can't ask anyone about it. I'm not gonna talk about it to anyone beside Eric and Yunho anyway." He said looking back at me.  
  
"Fine... I don't know why you want to keep it a secret even from me, but alright." I said still pouting. Before, he would always share his ideas with me first. Even before he would start writing it. I wanted to understand the change in his behavior now, but it was hard. Suddenly I felt like I was drifting apart from him. I didn't want to believe that, it scared me so much. But I had to let it go. I was overreacting, that must be it.  
  
"Are you alright?" he asked waking me up from my thoughts. I gave him a small smile, believing it's convincing enough.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine." I said finally standing up and moving away from him. "I have to meet Jae." I lied grabbing my jacket. "I'll see you later." I added and walked out of the room.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I didn't have anywhere to go, I just noticed the tension filling the room, so I thought the best way to get rid of it was to call it a day before Changmin and Junsu kill each other.  
  
Just as I was about to lie down someone knocked on the door. I walked up to it and opened it.  
  
"Oh, Yoochun, hi." Changmin smiled at me. "Is this JaeJoong's room?"  
  
"Yeah, he's my roommate." I nodded letting Min in. "He hasn't come back from classes yet." I added motioning to Changmin to sit down. He smiled and sat down and I continued. "How do you know Jae?"  
  
"Oh, we've been friends for a long time. Actually, I'm his boyfriend's... I mean, ex-boyfriend's best friend." He said. "It's weird not to call them a couple." He said more to himself and I frowned as I remembered.  
  
  
Flashback  
  
  
"So, you're a freshman?" he asked.  
  
"No, I'm in my third year, I just transferred here." I replied.  
  
"Cool, we're the same year." He smiled. "What are you studying?"  
  
"Music." I replied. "You?"  
  
"Drama. But one of my best friends is majoring music. Singing actually." He said cheerfully.  
  
  
End of Flashback  
  
  
I have to stop thinking about him, he's Jae's ex. At least for now... he's forbidden for me.  
  
"Hey..." I heard Jae enter the room and turned to him. "Min!" he said happily and hugged the younger boy.  
  
"Hey Jae, what's up?" Min asked, sitting back down.  
  
"I suppose you heard." Jae started.  
  
"Yeah, other then that?" Min changed the subject smoothly.  
  
I've been watching this guy a lot today and he had one amazing ability - to talk about anything and change subjects smoothly. Unless you knew he did it on purpose you could never really tell. Changmin was an interesting person, he was extremely smart, but he wasn't exactly a nerd. It was obvious he studied hard, but he also had this look of a playful, innocent boy. I was positive girls around the campus were crazy about him. He was good looking and compared to Junsu, who was obviously a cocky player - girls surrounded him the moment he stepped out of the classroom, Changmin looked like an inexperienced child. However, talking to Changmin gave a completely different picture of him. He was much more mature then Junsu. Looks can definitely trick us. I was surprised.  
  
"Other than that... well, I do have a great new roommate here." Jae chuckled pointing to me. I laughed as well.  
  
"You guys get along great I see." Changmin said looking at the two of us. "If only I could say the same..." he sighed.  
  
"Who's your roommate?" I asked curiously. I didn't know a lot of people here, but I was curious. JaeJoong looked like I read his thoughts, I knew he wanted to ask the same thing.  
  
"The worst person alive." Changmin said darkly. I raised my eyebrows.  
  
"You mean Kim Junsu?" JaeJoong said smirking lightly.  
  
"How did you know?" I asked. "Junsu? He seems nice."  
  
"Key word is 'seems'." Changmin nodded.  
  
"He is nice." JaeJoong interrupted Min and smiled. "But he still is the worst person alive according to Min."  
  
"But why?" I asked, but Jae mouthed 'I'll tell you later' and I nodded knowingly.  
  
"Long story... don't ask..." Changmin shook his head dramatically and laughed. "I actually came here to avoid meeting him as long as possible." He admitted and I laughed as well.  
  
"But we've just been with him." I said.  
  
"Don't remind me." Min rolled his eyes. "By the way, thanks for ending that practice, who knows where it would lead us." JaeJoong looked at me weirdly and I mouthed 'I'll tell you later' in return, causing him to smirk. "Alright guys, I'm going, I can't avoid him forever, can I?" Changmin sighed standing up. "Jae, don't be a stranger, we're still friends no matter what happened... you know..." he said.  
  
"Of course we are sweety Min." Jae smiled patting him on the back and closing the door soon after Changmin went out of the room.  
  
"Now, tell me what was that all about." I demanded as soon as Jae turned to me. He smirked and started the so-called 'Famous MinSu story'.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
Taking a cup of coffee at Heechul's I went back to the dorms, not knowing what to do to kill time. I decided it was probably the best to just check on Jae. I didn't want to lie to Wannie, I just wanted to get out of there, it hurt to think that he had secrets I didn't know about now. Since I said I'm meeting Jae I might as well make it true.  
  
I started walking towards Jae's room, but then spotted him and some guy, I assumed his new roommate, walking out of it. And then the other two familiar figures approached them. I quickly hid behind a nearby wall. I didn't need to see him. I didn't want to see him.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yoochun!" I heard someone say and both me and Yoochun turned around. JunJin and Minwoo. Great!  
  
"Oh, hi, Jin." Yoochun said and turned to me. "You met my brother?" he asked me and I nodded.  
  
"Hi Jin." I said and Jin smiled at me. "You met Minwoo, right?" Jin asked Yoochun.  
  
"Yeah, Yoochun actually helped me with my song today." Minwoo replied before Yoochun could open his mouth. I glared at him, it was so typical of Minwoo. He always had to be the focus of every conversation. Centre of the attention. "Thanks man." Minwoo continued and Yoochun smiled.  
  
"Any time." He replied.  
  
"Well, Jae, long time no seen." Minwoo turned to me. God, he made me sick.  
  
"Not long enough." I muttered looking back at him.  
  
"I heard you guys broke up." Minwoo continued.  
  
"I heard you broke up with Hyesung." I glared at him. It wasn't his business if I broke up with Yunho or not.  
  
"Good news travel fast." Minwoo smirked twisting the common saying.  
  
"You..." I stopped myself before I said something nasty. Yoochun grabbed my hand, steadying me. I hated the guy in front of me, how dares he?  
  
"I see you already found yourself a new boyfriend." Minwoo said glancing at our hands.  
  
"Yoochunnie? He's not even gay." Jin laughed lightly and I realized how different the two of them were. JunJin didn't even know his own brother, he didn't understand him. I glanced at Yoochun, but it seemed like he didn't even pay attention to what Jin was saying.  
  
"Yes, he is." I said smiling. You'll get it now, you both will. "Right, Yoochun? You love guys." I said smiling at him and squeezing his hand lightly.  
  
"I do." He said smiling back at me and then looked at JunJin. I smirked watching his facial expression change. He was surprised, but I didn't know if it was a pleasant surprise or not. I looked at Minwoo. He raised an eyebrow looking at us weirdly.  
  
"I didn't expect it from you Jae." He said.  
  
"Mind your own business Minwoo." I said not being able to take it anymore. What's it to him who I'm with and what I'm doing. After everything he did to Hyesung he has the nerve to come up to me and start a cheerful conversation.  
  
"Jae..." he started sweetly again.  
  
"Stop it!" I lost it then. "You're inconsiderate jerk who only knows how to take advantage of people. I can't believe you have the guts to come up to me and talk like nothing happened." I spat. "I'll see you Jin." I said turning to Yoochun's brother and then looked at Yoochun. "Let's go." I said quietly and pulled him with me and away from Minwoo.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
We watched them go until they disappeared around the corner. JunJin turned to me.  
  
"JaeJoong... what a surprise... he didn't seem like a person to explode like that." JunJin chuckled.  
  
"JaeJoong is full of surprises Jin." I replied still looking in the direction the two of them went. "That's why I have to have him."  
  
That's why I will have him. Kim JaeJoong, you will be mine.


	8. Chapter 8

Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
Every word that left Minwoo's mouth stabbed me and by the time him and JunJin left for their room I already sank down to the floor desperately trying to swallow my tears. As soon as they left I stumbled back into my room. Slightly relieved Dongwan was nowhere in sight, I lied down on my bed, letting sobs out freely.  
  
All the memories of Minwoo and me rushed back to me, keeping me wonder if it was worth absolutely nothing. Obviously, he didn't give a damn. I cried harder, not noticing someone else's presence in the room until I felt my bed shift and a body next to mine.  
  
He hugged me and turned me around to face him.  
  
"Wannie..." I managed to choke out between sobs and then went back to crying. I felt awful, I was such a baby, but it hurt so much, I couldn't bare it, I wasn't strong enough.  
  
"Shhh..." he was trying to comfort me. "What happened? You saw him?" Of course, what could make me this upset?  
  
"Yes... well no... well, I saw him, he didn't see me. I heard his conversation with Jae." I said calming down slightly. "He said... Our breakup is good news to him... I bet it's one of the best things that has ever happened to him..." I broke down again and Dongwan tightened his hold on me.  
  
"That bastard..." he muttered, then leaned down kissing my forehead.  
  
"Wan, I heard why he broke up with me." I whispered. "I know who's the guy he's after now." Wannie pulled away and looked down at me. "It's Jae."  
  
"He told him that?" he asked widening his eyes.  
  
"No." I shook my head. "But JunJin was with him, that new guy, I guess they're roommates." I said.  
  
"I'm gonna kill him." Dongwan said furiously and I felt him tense.  
  
"No." I said quickly, wrapping my arms around him. "Don't Wannie, please..." I pleaded.  
  
"Are you still protecting him? After hearing that?" he asked.  
  
"No... it didn't meant anything to him, our relationship, I should've known that long ago, but I was blind." I said looking away. "I don't know, maybe he is right, maybe breaking up with me is the best thing someone can experience."  
  
"Don't say that! Don't tell me that idiot is getting to you!" he practically yelled and I looked back at him. Dongwan was rarely this mad.  
  
"But... look at me... I'm a mess, I'm such a girl, crying and whining and... who would want me?"  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
I want you.  
  
"Who wouldn't?" I asked back. "You're handsome, smart, talented. Even when you cry and whine it doesn't mean you're weak, it just means you need to vent in order to move on. It also takes a lot of courage to cry in front of other people, it's definitely not a weakness." I rambled. Hyesung was a lot of things, but he wasn't weak. Just the way he discovered he was gay and dealing with it showed how strong he truly was.  
  
"You remember the way everyone discovered you're gay?" I asked as memories rushed into my mind, making me smile.  
  
"Of course." He replied letting out a weak chuckle and looking up at me. "God, I thought my parents will throw me out of the house right then and there."  
  
"But they didn't." I pointed out.  
  
"No, they didn't." he shook his head and smiled.  
  
It was two years ago, we came back home for winter holidays. It was Hyesung's birthday and we planned a rather small party at his house, we had it all planned, a guys night. A couple of our friends came over and soon we were pretty wasted. At the time Junsu was hanging out with this guy, Andy. They weren't best friends, but they were pretty close and we all knew he was gay. None of us minded, we took him in without prejudice. But that night drink did its work and Hyesung and Andy just disappeared somehow. We started looking for them, only to find them in the bathroom, making out like there's no tomorrow.  
  
We found it amusing, but Hyesung's parents certainly didn't. Hyesung had a serious conversation with them the next morning and a whole month of serious drama. He would often run away at night and come over to my house, crying and whining as he liked to say. It was extremely hard for him, but he never gave up, he knew who he was and he didn't want to suppress his true nature. His parents finally accepted it and everything went back to normal.  
  
I never forgot that hell of a month he went through, we went through together. I never forgot the transformation he went through in that period, from a child to a man, a gay man nonetheless. I never forgot how much I admired him for that and how I fell in love with him then. That incident made me gay as well.  
  
"Of course, you followed my lead and became gay right after that." He joked. He had no idea how right he was. "Always imitating me." He added shaking his head in mock disapproval and I chuckled.  
  
"Of course, there's nothing I can do without you." I teased him back.  
  
"Nothing?" he raised his eyebrow playfully.  
  
"Nothing." I nodded seriously. He looked at me weirdly and I smiled. "You don't need him. You have me and you have Junsu and I'm sure you'll have a great guy by your side soon." I let out the words that only brought me pain. "You're amazing person, don't ever doubt that."  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stared at him. He always made me feel loved, so loved. I smiled hugging him.  
  
"You're gonna make me cry again." I joked although I really felt like crying. Yes, I'm a girl, so what? Dongwan doesn't mind it, it's not a weakness, I'm allowed to cry.  
  
"Cry then. Do whatever you want. Just be yourself Sungie!" he exclaimed a little bit too enthusiastically and I laughed finally. I forgot all about my troubles, all about that jerk. Who needs him anyway? I have everything I need. Dongwan...  
  
Suddenly... I felt free.  
  
  
JunJin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Yoochun is gay? That's new. I never thought my little dongsaeng will turn gay, but then again there wasn't really any signs of him being straight either. He did go out with girls from time to time, but he never showed some sort of excitement when it came to his dates. His so-called relationships would end with that first date. I didn't really pay attention to it, but now it made sense. I knew I'll have to talk to him later.  
  
Minwoo and I went for a coffee and we were on our way to the dorms.  
  
"Jin, wanna meet some new people?" he asked playfully. I laughed.  
  
"Your friends?"  
  
"Well, yeah, we're not the closest people in the world, but then again, I really don't have a best friend you know..." he trailed off.  
  
"You do now." I nodded smiling.  
  
"Yeah, thanks." He smiled back. "Anyway, these guys are pretty cool... we hang out from time to time, go out and stuff. They're popular and hot, too." He winked and I raised my eyebrow.  
  
"Oh yeah? What are we waiting for?" I asked.  
  
"Oh, just one thing... one of them is gay, the other is straight." Minwoo added.  
  
"Is that a challenge?"  
  
"Of course. I expect you to guess who's who." He nodded smiling evilly.  
  
"There's no trick here, right?"  
  
"Nope. I'm serious." He nodded.  
  
"Alright." I smiled. I loved this, my gaydar was in perfect shape, never wrong.  
  
We came to a stop in front of the room that wasn't far away from Yoochun's. Minwoo knocked and we heard a faint 'come in' from inside, before we entered the room.  
  
A tall, slim guy stood in front of us, looking through some music magazine, reminding me of Minwoo when I first saw him. He turned around.  
  
"Oh... Minwoo." He said obviously a bit surprised to see him.  
  
"Changmin, hi." Minwoo replied smiling at him. Changmin eyed me up and down, with a look of interest on his face.  
  
"Hi, I'm JunJin." I said extending my hand for him to shake. He did so, slightly hesitating, but his expression didn't show a slightest sign of insecurity. However, it was obvious he was younger than us. He looked interesting, his gestures, facial expressions and the impression he was giving out altogether, pretty contradictive, but still quite attractive. I was sure girls and guys liked him.  
  
"Changmin." He replied smiling pleasantly.  
  
"Gay." I whispered discreetly to Minwoo.  
  
"Yeah, but this is not his room." He replied chuckling slightly. "Changmin is my classmate." He introduced him properly.  
  
"Oh, cool." I nodded. "Then you must've met my brother, Yoochun."  
  
"He's your brother?" Changmin's face lit up. My little dongsaeng made friends already? "Cool."  
  
"Where are Eric and Yunho?" Minwoo asked.  
  
"Looking for us?" A handsome guy entered the room, looking at Minwoo rather coldly, followed by another guy, who, on the contrary, smiled widely.  
  
"Minwoo, hi!" the latter guy greeted Minwoo cheerfully and pulled him into a hug.  
  
"It's nice to see you too, Eric." Minwoo replied with a look of confusion on his face and glanced at the other guy.  
  
"Don't pay attention." The guy replied and shook his head, but smiled nonetheless. He had a nice smile, it was a beautiful contrast from the expression he greeted Minwoo with.  
  
"Yeah, Eric hyung is in love..." Changmin said in a sing-song voice and chuckled. I glanced at the hottie in front of me. He was blushing, but didn't say anything. Minwoo chuckled.  
  
"Oh really? That would be first." He said raising his eyebrow. "Who's the lucky... eh..." he hesitated obviously not wanting to say the gender because of me. Game is on.  
  
"Guy." I jumped in. "Who's the lucky guy?" Minwoo looked at me shocked and shook his head. I'm wrong? No, it can't be... "Both gay, you tricked me." I whispered. Game over.  
  
"How did you know?" Yunho asked suddenly. Minwoo looked away from me and widened his eyes at Eric.  
  
"Since when are you gay?" he asked shocked.  
  
"Since... umm... two days ago?" Eric stuttered. Oh how cute!  
  
"You've got to be kidding me!" Minwoo laughed looking at Yunho and Changmin then, but both of them shook head. "Oh, this is awesome! Guy hunting together from now on guys, right?"  
  
"You know, you still haven't introduced us to your new friend here." Yunho cut him off, looking at me.  
  
"Oh, sorry, I'm JunJin." I said, meeting Yunho's hand with my own and smiling at him.  
  
"Yunho." He replied meeting my gaze. His eyes were so... warm.  
  
Our eye contact lasted only a brief second since I turned to Eric then, shaking hands with him as well.  
  
"Eric." He smiled somewhat childishly and I couldn't help but grin.  
  
This guy was so different from Changmin, I couldn't help that thought appearing in my head. Changmin was obviously the youngest, but unlike Eric who looked like the oldest in this room, he sounded and acted far more mature. When you look better at him, he actually looked like a child, which was actually funny, cute and amusing at the same time. Not to mention that he just discovered himself being gay. Gay... this sexy baby is gay...  
  
I must've freaked him out with my staring since he looked away blushing again. I looked away too, meeting Yunho's eyes again. He was studying me and I smirked daringly. I looked at Changmin and Minwoo who were talking about music. Of course.  
  
"What are you studying?" Yunho asked suddenly.  
  
"Art." I replied. His facial expression changed for a moment, but you could barely notice it. Yunho... I remembered where I heard that name, this was JaeJoong's ex. "You?"  
  
"Eric and I are both in drama." He replied. I nodded and glanced at Minwoo. He brought me to meet JaeJoong's ex?  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
Minwoo and JunJin soon went to their room, leaving me with Eric-I'm-so-in-love boy and Changmin-I'm-spending-as-less-time-with-my-roommate-as-possible boy. Oh joy...  
  
I looked at two of them.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" Eric asked me.  
  
"That new guy, JunJin, who else?" Changmin replied nonchalantly.  
  
"What? Why would I think about him?" I defended myself.  
  
"Oh, come on hyung, you're like... soooo obvious." He smirked rolling his eyes like some high school girl from bad teenage movies.  
  
"Yeah, right." I nodded sarcastically.  
  
"Of course you are, admit it." Changmin chuckled.  
  
"Whatever." I rolled my eyes. What a comeback... now I'm the girl.  
  
"You said 'whatever'!" Changmin laughed and Eric joined him.  
  
"Don't you have a roommate waiting for you? Want me to call him?" I asked grabbing my phone.  
  
"See ya later!" Changmin stood up collecting his things as fast as he could and went out of the room. I smirked.  
  
"And you... don't you have a guy to catch?" I looked at Eric who immediately stopped laughing.  
  
"Don't even start..." he growled.  
  
"I thought so." I replied smirking as Eric turned on his bed, leaving me to face his back.  
  
That's right, don't start it with me, you can't deal with Jung Yunho. Now... this Park JunJin surely seems like an interesting guy.


	9. Chapter 9

Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked out of my room and started walking when someone called me.  
  
"Yoochun." I turned around and looked at my brother, leaning on the wall right beside my room. Was he waiting for me?  
  
"Oh, I didn't see you there." I replied as he walked up to me.  
  
"Yeah... I'd like to talk to you." He said smiling slightly. I smiled back, a little bit unsure. JunJin wanted to talk to me? That meant he needed something. I was curious.  
  
"Alright, let's go to Heechul's." I shrugged and started walking again, with him following close behind, before he caught up.  
  
  
JunJin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smiled at Heechul as we walked into the café and took a seat. The waitress took our order and I smiled at my little dongsaeng again.  
  
"Okay, spill it out." He said smirking lightly himself. I looked at him innocently.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"You need something. Just say it, I don't like playing games with you Jin." He said and I chuckled.  
  
"You think so low of me?" I asked although he was right, he knew me that well and I was kind of proud of that. If only he let me get to know him better. I felt like the lamest older brother in the world, not knowing what's going on in my dongsaeng's head.  
  
"No, I just know you." He shrugged sipping his coffee and raising his eyebrow at me. "Well?"  
  
"I wanted to talk to you, we never talk..." I started.  
  
"Who's fault is that?" he replied.  
  
"Yours?" I said unsure. "Come on, you never let me into your little world, I never know what's going on with you." I said honestly.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I didn't know it's necessary for you to know." I shrugged. It wasn't his business anyway.  
  
"It's not, but I'd like to know." He replied. "We're not close at all and, well, I'm a bit tired of waiting for you to open up."  
  
"So you decided to start asking questions?" I asked. I knew it. I simply knew he wanted to butt into my life now. Not that I had anything to hide from him, I just wasn't used to it. Maybe he was right, we weren't able to bond, but that was just the way we were. We were so different, maybe too different. I couldn't imagine sharing anything with him, I had the feeling he won't understand me. Heck, I knew JaeJoong for a week and I felt closer to him than to JunJin.  
  
"Well... kind of." He said shifting slightly uncomfortably. He never attempted to get to know me and we were both fine with it. At least I thought so. I didn't know him afterall since I was wrong. Clearly.  
  
"Alright." I sighed. "What do you want to know?"  
  
"How are you?"  
  
"Fine, thanks, you?" I half-mocked. How am I?  
  
"No dumba$$, I meant what's it like here? Are you satisfied, did you make any friends... you know..." he rolled his eyes.  
  
"You met my friend." I replied. "So, yeah, I'm fine here, I actually like it here, it's a good school. People are nice too."  
  
"Okay..." he nodded. "I've been good too."  
  
"You're always good Jin, it's normal for you." I rolled my eyes.  
  
"We're just different. I'm making friends easily, but that doesn't mean I have deeper relationship with them, they're more like acquaintances." He said. "You don't make friends that easily, but maybe your relationship with them have another meaning, maybe you get what other people call 'true friends'." I was a bit surprised by his words. Jin actually thought so?  
  
"Maybe you're right." I said not knowing how to reply. "But you only get acquaintances?" I asked raising my eyebrow again. "Then... Minwoo is also just an acquaintance?"  
  
"I don't know. We get along well, talk about a lot of stuff, maybe he's really a friend." He replied. "But, that's normal, we're similar."  
  
"Don't be similar to that jerk." I muttered. I didn't want to offend his friend, but I heard a lot of things about Lee Minwoo.  
  
"Don't say that, he's not that bad of a person. At least not bad friend... okay, maybe he needs to work on his love life, actually get one, so far he only had sex life." He chuckled, like it was a good joke, while it made me puke.  
  
"He hurts people Jin, I don't want to see you turn into him." I said seriously.  
  
"Thanks little bro, but you don't have to worry about me." He said lightly patting me on the head.  
  
"I'm not worried..." I scoffed. "You wish."  
  
"I do." He nodded and became silent again.  
  
"Now tell me what you truly wanted to talk about." I started. "Or should I say it?"  
  
"Since when you're gay?" he asked immediately. I've been waiting for it.  
  
"About a week ago." I replied simply.  
  
"When we got here?"  
  
"Yes." I nodded. He hated talking to me just because I made it difficult for him. Short answers, not talking much, meet Park Yoochun. On the other hand Park JunJin thought he's cool like that - he didn't need to talk, expecting the other part to talk. I never did it, hence he disliked talking to me. One thing we had in common.  
  
"So, it's true?"  
  
"What?" I looked up at him. I could almost read his mind.  
  
"You and... JaeJoong?" I smirked. Minwoo sent you? The moment I looked at that guy I knew he was after JaeJoong. I might not talk much, but I see quite a lot. It was obvious. I didn't know if Jae knew it and I didn't say anything to him either. Anyway, I knew JunJin wanted to talk about it. What else could it be? Me being gay and me dating JaeJoong. Simple as that, figuring out my brother's intentions wasn't hard.  
  
"I see. Minwoo wants to know, I assume."  
  
"Well..." you can't lie to me Jin. "If you think Minwoo sent me you're wrong. I don't know about him, but he doesn't matter anyway, it's me who wants to know, you're my brother." I looked at him to make sure he wasn't lying to me. Jin rarely lied to me, he also knew that most of the time I could tell if he's speaking the truth.  
  
"Alright. But we both know he wants to know." I said. I didn't know why I had to be so stubborn about this, maybe because I wanted to prove what a bad person Minwoo was. I didn't want to let my best friend getting hurt like Hyesung did. But I didn't want to lie to my brother either. "JaeJoong is my best friend. We're not a couple and we'll never be. But he means a lot to me and I won't let that bastard you call a friend hurt him." I said honestly.  
  
"He's not that bad Yoochun." JunJin replied.  
  
"I wouldn't be so sure, you heard him the other night. The way he talked to Jae, the way he talked about Hyesung..." I shook my head. "Be careful, alright?"  
  
"Yeah, thanks..." he nodded, then smiled. "You so care about your hyung!" he teased grinning brightly all of a sudden.  
  
"You wish." I scoffed, although I knew he was right.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Get out of the bathroom!" I yelled pounding at the door. The jerk was pi$$ing me off. Just now that I had a very important date with a girl of my dreams he decided to... to sleep in the bathroom. Okay, every date is the most important date in my life and every girl is the girl of my dreams, but still... it's beside the point, what matters is that the greatest jerk of all decided not to allow me to use bathroom ever again. Now, there is only one greatest jerk of all in my life. Shim Changmin. "You better get out now or I'm gonna break in." I growled.  
  
"You wish you could." He scoffed opening the door slightly and poking out. "Will you hand me the towel?" he asked sweetly.  
  
"What? You [[email protected]](/cdn-cgi/l/email-protection), I'm not gonna touch it, let alone hand it to you." I said with a look of disgust on my face.  
  
"You wish you could touch it." He smirked. "I'll have to think about it though."  
  
"You... you..."  
  
"Loss at words again?" he smirked.  
  
"Urgh... you jerk." I said the first thing coming into my mind. It was lame, but I couldn't do anything about it. I don't know how he managed to make me furious every time.  
  
"That's all you have?" he chuckled. "Now, please give me my towel." He said mockingly.  
  
"Get it yourself." I said not realizing what I did.  
  
"Fine." He said opening the door all the way and I gasped covering my eyes quickly. "If you wanted to see it all you had to do was ask." He said with a hint of a chuckle in his voice. I sensed him walk past me.  
  
My hand still covered my eyes and I quickly peaked through my fingers, widening my eyes at the sight of his naked butt as he leaned down to pick his towel from the bed. I quickly covered back my eyes. He went back and I gasped again as I felt his hot breath brush against my earlobe.  
  
"Peaking and thinking I won't notice?" he whispered. "Are you sure you're not gay?" he finished smirking and brushing against me even though he had enough space to pass without making contact with me.  
  
"That's called sexual harassment you perv!" I yelled uncovering my eyes. "And cover yourself already!" I added feeling my face becoming bright red.  
  
"Oh you enjoy it, so quit it." He said waving his head and shutting the door behind him again.  
  
"Get out of the bathroom!" I said pounding at the door all over again.  
  
"You had your chance, but you preferred to stay and stare at my @ss." He said laughing. He dares to laugh at me?  
  
"Yah, jerk, get out!" I screamed. "I have a date!"  
  
"Who's the unlucky guy?" he asked peaking through the door again. I quickly grabbed him and pulled him out of the bathroom. I glanced down, relieved he had his boxers on. "Oooh, getting rough already? But Junsu we haven't even kissed yet." I'm tired of this [[email protected]](/cdn-cgi/l/email-protection) I pushed him to the wall, pinning him.  
  
"You idiot, I'm sick of you." I said before he could make another [[email protected]](/cdn-cgi/l/email-protection) comment. "You live to make my life miserable, right?" He nodded smiling broadly. "Well, you..."  
  
"I'm quite successful, am I?" he smirked looking into my eyes. I glared. "You're reacting Junsu. You have no idea how easy it is to pi$$ you off. I'm enjoying every minute of it." I didn't know what to say. "You can't measure up to me, you never could. Are you just going to stand there and let me win every time?" he asked, then smirked. "Of course you will. I might be gay, but you're the pu$$y here." He added and pushed me away from him, walking away and lying down on his bed, picking up one of many books he had. I stared at the wall before I walked into the bathroom.  
  
Shim Changmin, you want to play?


	10. Chapter 10

Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
They were sitting in the park in front of the dorms. Junjin took out his sketchbook and started drawing, while his companion simply leaned against the tree. He looked like an angel, I just stood there, looking for a moment, admiring his face with slightly closed eyes, the whole picture giving out a peaceful feeling. But I felt anything but peaceful. I was anxious.  
  
"Hey." I said slightly shyly as I approached them. JunJin looked at me and smiled brightly.  
  
"Eric, hi!" he replied cheerfully. "Sit down with us." He added and I smiled, obeying and taking a seat next to him and across from the beauty who lazily opened his eyes and looked back at me.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I didn't expect to see him here, let alone know Jin. A small smile appeared on my face as I watched him for a moment, then turned to Jin who started talking again.  
  
"Eric, this is my brother." He said and Eric glanced at Jin for a second, then looked back at me.  
  
"Oh, I didn't know..." he trailed off. I extended my hand.  
  
"Yoochun." I introduced myself. "We actually met... you know, first day, you helped me find my room." You helped me find my place. Too bad it wasn't next to you.  
  
"Yeah, I remember." He replied taking my hand and shaking it. What an amazing feeling. "Eric."  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
How could I forget? I couldn't stop thinking about you for a week.  
  
"So, what do you think about school? Dorms? Everything?" I asked smiling and not being able to look away from Yoochun. He even has a hot name.  
  
"Everything's great, I'm..." Yoochun glanced at his brothers. "We're satisfied so far. People are nice too."  
  
"Yeah, we didn't expect it to be this good." JunJin added and I looked at him.  
  
"I'm glad." I replied. "You guys don't really look alike, I would've never guessed you're brothers." I said smiling.  
  
"Yeah, we're quite different." Junjin replied. I nodded glancing at Yoochun. He was obviously the quiet one. While JunJin was talking excitedly, smiling brightly and clearly openly expressing his feelings, Yoochun looked shy, indoor and well, barely noticeable.  
  
I assumed he never got the chance to shine next to JunJin. His older brother was just hard not to spot, while Yoochun looked like he was hiding. Not behind JunJin, they looked like they have nothing in common, probably just sharing their last name. Yoochun was hiding alone, not looking for protection, just trying not to be exposed, but actually waiting to be spotted among so many other ordinary faces. I knew he was nothing but ordinary.  
  
I continued to look at him, but he looked away, leaning back against the tree and inhaling deeply. I didn't mind, he looked gorgeous like that.  
  
  
JunJin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched Eric quietly. I pretended to draw, but I was focused on him. The guy was extremely hot, damn, I could feel myself getting turned on. He stared at Yoochun though. It seemed like they were having a staring contest in the beginning, but then my brother glanced away, like always. He was always embarrassed around other people, strangers especially. I was surprised he didn't blush, instead he looked rather peaceful. But the fact that Eric was looking at him instead of me disturbed me.  
  
"Guys, I have to go." Eric suddenly said, getting up. Yoochun looked up at him, giving him one of his famous small smiles, while I almost frowned. "I'll see you at the party next week, right?" Oh, right, Minwoo told me all about the party, he organized it partly.  
  
"Yeah, definitely." I said, then glanced at Yoochun. "I don't know about my brother though, he's not much of a party boy." I added. Yoochun looked at me.  
  
"Oh..." Eric said looking at him as well. "You have to come." He added looking intently at Yoochun now.  
  
"Of course, I'll see you there." Yoochun nodded and I raised my eyebrow. Since when was he attending parties?  
  
"Alright, then... I'm going... bye guys." Eric said grinning and quickly walked away while I waved at him slightly.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
Why did I say I'll be there? Man, he's Jae's ex, I should stop thinking about him, I should stop seeing him. Just the way he looked at me made me shiver, I have to fight it.  
  
"He's so hot, don't you think?" JunJin interrupted my thoughts.  
  
"I guess." I said shrugging. He was more than just hot.  
  
"Do you like him?" Jin asked further.  
  
"What? No!" I said quickly as I looked up at Jin again. No, of course I don't like him... Liar. But I can't like him...  
  
"Good." Jin said smiling and went back to his drawing. "Because he's already mine."  
  
Close your eyes and fight your tears Yoochun. Lean back and be strong. The guy who turned me gay. I mustn't like him.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hey Heechul!" I greeted him as I entered the café. "Dongwan and Eric are not here yet?" I asked looking around.  
  
"No, you're first. Dongwan came by to say he'll be a little late and to wait for him. Eric is late as usual." Heechul smirked as I sat down. He handed me my cup of coffee.  
  
"Thanks." I said and took a sip. "Well, what to expect from Eric, right?" I chuckled.  
  
"How have you been?" Heechul asked and I knew what he was talking about.  
  
"I've been okay, it's a little bit hard, all those memories hunting me, you know..." I replied sighing. "I miss him, but I know I did the right thing. I know he knows that too. We understand each other, maybe too much."  
  
"How can you understand someone too much? I didn't know it's a bad thing." Heechul said leaning against the bar.  
  
"It can be when there's a possibility of completely turning into that person, losing yourself, you know." I explained. Jae and I were closer than anyone I know. We shared everything. I love him and he loves me and I'm sure we'll be friends again after all the pain fades away.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You're back." I said turning to look at my roommate, while he took off his shoes and put his stuff down.  
  
"Yeah. I went to see Yoochun." He replied smiling.  
  
"Cool." I smiled back. "How's it going for him?"  
  
"Fine, fine, he's satisfied." Jin replied sitting down on his bed. He looked weirdly happy.  
  
"Did something happen?" I asked.  
  
"Well, we met Eric."  
  
"Oh, why didn't you say so?" I laughed. I noticed Jin liked him from the start.  
  
"Yeah, nothing special there... I have the feeling he has something for Yoochun, but maybe it's just my imagination. Besides, I asked Yoochun if he liked him and he said no." Jin shrugged.  
  
"Well, of course, he's with JaeJoong right?" I asked. I didn't quite believe in that story, maybe Jin knew.  
  
"You know he's not." Jin said. "And I just confirmed today."  
  
I knew it. Jae was pretending. You won't get rid of me just like that Kim JaeJoong.  
  
Everyone knows that Lee Minwoo doesn't give up that easily.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Oh guys, there you are. Sorry I'm late." I said quickly as I approached my two friends. "Hey Heechul!" I greeted him as well and he smiled in return. "Let's go sit over there." I added pointing to the nearby table, since Eric and Yunho were standing by the bar.  
  
"It's okay man, Eric just got here anyway and I had a nice chat with Heechul in the meantime." Yunho replied. I smiled. He never made people wait and when people made him wait he never made them feel bad for that. He was so patient, we all admired him for that.  
  
"What's up?" Eric asked cheerfully as he took a sip of his soda.  
  
"How's Hyesung?" Yunho asked as well.  
  
"Sungie is... well alright. I don't know. We talk a lot and I'm trying to keep his mind off that bastard, but I don't know if it works." I said frowning. It hurt me to see Hyesung in such a state, but I knew that I could only wait for it to pass until we get our old Hyesung back.  
  
"We're all there for him, you know that. You both know that." Yunho said smiling at me and I nodded.  
  
"Of course, thanks. Actually, Hyesung hangs out with Jae quite a bit these days, I think it helps him more then anything. Having someone else there, not just me, you know..." I said.  
  
"Yeah, Jae's... really something." Yunho replied smiling. "And him and Hyesung have always been close, so it's only normal." I nodded. I felt bad for mentioning JaeJoong to Yunho, but he didn't seem to mind. I let out a sigh of relief.  
  
"So, you have a new film?" Eric asked raising his eyebrows and smiling brightly. I could tell he was excited. This was Eric afterall.  
  
One thing all three of us had in common was great passion for drama. Yunho and Eric were into acting, while I was more of a writer/director. I enjoyed it so much, especially when I had the chance to work with these two, beside being my best friends, they were also the most talented actors I got to know and work with. Not that I worked much, but I did have a bit of experience.  
  
I was looking forward to this, more than anything. I just hoped they'll feel the same.  
  
"Yeah, I have a new film." I nodded smiling. "And I want the two of you as main actors, I can't imagine anyone else playing them. I hope you won't turn me down." I added.  
  
"Of course we won't." Yunho replied smiling as well. Don't be so sure.  
  
"Promise?" I asked.  
  
"God, is it that bad?" Eric asked.  
  
"As long as it's not a porn I'm in." Yunho joked and I laughed loudly, receiving a couple of weird looks.  
  
"I don't mind even if it's a porn." Eric said, goofy as he is. Yunho joined me laughing, while Eric grinned sheepishly.  
  
"No, guys, I'm serious, promise me you'll be part of this." I said getting all serious.  
  
"Alright, I promise." Yunho said rolling his eyes and Eric repeated, nodding his head.  
  
"Okay... well, I started writing, but I don't really have anything to give to you yet." I said. "But I did write the main idea." I added looking for it in my bag. I could see they were looking at me anxiously again.  
  
"Here it is." I said finally getting the paper and placing it on the table, in front of them.  
  
They looked at it and a look of confusion appeared on their faces. I smiled waiting for their reaction.  
  
"I'm not sure I get it." Yunho said. "It just says..."  
  
"... Hyesung and Dongwan?" Eric finished for him and then looked at me, at the same time with Yunho.  
  
I smiled and nodded.  
  
"Exactly."


	11. Chapter 11

Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You want us to play you and Hyesung?" Eric asked, while Yunho just stared at me in shock. I nodded.  
  
"You're crazy... so this is like the story of your life?" Yunho finally let out.  
  
"Well, more or less, I'm gonna add some things, we need some kind of end, right? That's why you'll be the best for those roles, you know us." I replied.  
  
"And here I thought you wanted us for our talent." Eric frowned.  
  
"That too." I chuckled.  
  
"Wannie, I'm not sure... I don't know..." Yunho hesitated thinking.  
  
"Guys, I really want to do this." I said. "And you're playing me."  
  
"Alright, I'm in." Yunho grinned.  
  
"Hey! Why am I Hyesung?" Eric complained.  
  
"What? I'm better?" I teased.  
  
"Well... you are... he's like a big crying baby." Eric pouted.  
  
"Hey! Sungie is not a crying baby, he's more mature and stronger than both of you, you should be happy I'm choosing you to play him." I said seriously. My Sungie was the best, it was hard for me to choose who's gonna play him, I just thought that Yunho would be better playing me, so that left Eric.  
  
Eric glared at me, but didn't say anything. Instead he leaned back in his chair and pouted.  
  
"Who's big baby now?" I mocked him.  
  
"Umm... Dongwan?" Yunho started and I looked at him. "We'll have some umm... more physical scenes, right?" Eric also looked at me, with obvious panic on his face.  
  
"Of course, you know how Sungie and I are." I replied. Everyone knew that, we were best friends, but none of our friends didn't get as touchy as we did. Plus, I planned a rather happy end.  
  
"Oh man..." they both made a face now.  
  
"Come on, guys, you're best friends, just like Sungie and I are." I said.  
  
"Yeah, but we're not in love with each other. We don't like... dunno, share bed or anything." Eric said and Yunho nodded.  
  
"We don't share bed... on regular basis." I replied glaring at both of them. "You're gonna do it, like it or not."  
  
"Oh man, I have to ask this." Yunho said more to himself, then swallowed and asked one more question. "There won't be a kissing scene, right?"  
  
"Wrong. Of course you're gonna kiss, I said I'm doing some changes from real life situation." I replied like it was the most normal thing and his question was ridiculous.  
  
"I have to kiss him?!" Eric shouted and Yunho quickly covered his mouth. I watched them and sighed.  
  
"If you don't want to do it, it's fine, I'll find other people." I said looking down. I didn't want to force them into anything, this just meant so much to me and I didn't want some strangers to play the story of my life.  
  
"We'll do it." Yunho sighed and I looked back up at the both of them. Eric hesitated, but then nodded as well.  
  
"It's gonna be a challenge, but we're actors, it's gonna be good for us, right?" Eric said shrugging and smiled at me.  
  
"Thanks so much guys!" I grinned.  
  
"Anything for our Wannie..." Yunho said smiling.  
  
"And Sungie." Eric added.  
  
This went better than expected.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into the classroom, for my afternoon practice with Changmin and Junsu. I wasn't really sure if it was a good thing practicing with the two of them. After a week of knowing them I learned it wasn't very safe staying alone in the same room with both of them. But, if I weren't in such an awkward position, I would've said they were pretty funny. Fighting like that. I would never say it to them, but they looked like two little kids having crush on each other. Cute.  
  
As I sat down and placed my hands on the piano, the door opened and a cheerful Changmin walked in.  
  
"Will you hurry up?" He yelled to Junsu, who was right behind him.  
  
"I'm right behind you, [[email protected]](/cdn-cgi/l/email-protection)" Junsu growled and I chuckled as quietly as possible. How could Changmin not see him?  
  
"Oh... alright then." Changmin replied slightly embarrassed and smiled at me. "Sorry we're late."  
  
"It's alright." I shrugged watching them put their stuff down. "Alright, well, I had this one song on my mind today, it's just for practice." I said turning around and starting playing. Junsu and Changmin came over to me and stood on the each side of the piano as I continued with my recently finished song. "What do you think?" I asked.  
  
"I like it." Junsu nodded and I smiled.  
  
"Me too." Changmin agreed. What a rare moment. Seeing them agree about something. "But who would you like to sing it?" That's what I've been waiting for.  
  
"Well... you see, I've spoken to the professor... about your singing so far. I don't know you guys, so I had to ask him about it." I half apologized. They nodded, it was understandable. "Well, he said you work great as soloists, but team work is not really your thing. He wants you to start working together. So, this year you'll sing all the songs together." I said.  
  
"What?" Changmin shouted, clearly shocked and pi$$ed.  
  
"You mean, like a duet?" Junsu asked, more calmly than I expected.  
  
"Yeah... I shouldn't be the one telling you this, but since we're practicing now and you won't see professor till tomorrow..." I trailed off.  
  
"But... why does it have to be him?" Changmin asked pointing at Junsu.  
  
"I guess there is no soul in this college that doesn't know about your rocky relationship. You should learn working with each other, compromise and learn to get along." I shrugged. "It'll only do you good... now let's work." I added glancing at both of them. Changmin was glaring at Junsu, who just didn't pay attention. "Come on guys." I handed them the notes. "Junsu, you first."  
  
"Why him?" Changmin asked.  
  
"Because I'm the author and I say so. You'll shine later, don't worry." I said swallowing a sigh that wanted to escape. I knew this was going to be hard, I have no idea what I got myself into.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yunho, be careful alright?" I started sipping my second coffee.  
  
"Why?" he asked looking at me confused.  
  
"Well, Minwoo is after Jae now." I said lowly. I hated saying that to him, they weren't together anymore, but he still cared about Jae, maybe even more now that they were just friends. Yunho was my best friend, right after Hyesung, just like Jae was Sungie's. I couldn't just keep quiet, when I knew something that important. I didn't want to see Jae hurt again.  
  
Yunho's face darkened and he sighed. I looked at Eric, but he just shook his head and drank more of his soda.  
  
"That bastard..." Yunho replied finally. He was close to Minwoo, more then the rest of us and this must've hurt him.  
  
We were all friends, more or less close. But everyone knew that Minwoo was a manwhore. When he started dating Hyesung we were all worried. I was pi$$ed, but I wasn't allowed to show it. Everyone felt sorry for me and I hated that, so I did my best to pretend like I was fine with it, like I was glad for them. Yunho and Eric knew what I went through to accept Minwoo as Hyesung's boyfriend. It wasn't just me actually, all of us had some trouble accepting Minwoo as anyone's boyfriend.  
  
The guy meant trouble. He might be a good friend, but he was a horrible beast when it came to relationships. Once he had someone on his mind he wouldn't give up. And once he got what he wanted he would do his best to take advantage of him and dump him soon after. Hyesung was another story, after some time we actually believed Minwoo truly cared about him, but in the end he proved us wrong. Made a fool out of all of us. Lee Minwoo - he'll never change.  
  
"You won't do anything stupid, will you?" I asked just in case. Yunho wasn't an impulsive guy, he was emotional, but he never let his heart take over his brain. He would first think about everything, then make a move.  
  
"If he tries to hurt Jae, you won't expect me to just sit there and watch?" he asked slightly annoyed. I nodded. JaeJoong truly was his weakness.  
  
"Guys..." Eric said quietly and pointed to the door. Hyesung and JaeJoong just entered the place. I smiled and quickly turned to Yunho and Eric.  
  
"Remember..." I started.  
  
"We know." They nodded. My secret was safe, they were the only people I could trust.  
  
"Hey!" Jae greeted us and Hyesung smiled.  
  
"We're not interrupting anything?" Hyesung asked as he sat down next to me. Jae took a seat next to Yunho, who still had Eric on his other side.  
  
"No." I quickly said.  
  
"You guys talked about the film, right?" Hyesung asked looking at Yunho and Eric.  
  
"Yeah, we're doing it." Yunho nodded and glanced at Jae, who smiled back at him. "Are you alright?" Yunho asked him.  
  
"Yeah." Jae nodded and turned to me. "So, what's it about?"  
  
"Sungie, you should ask yourself, not through Jae." I laughed looking at my best friend.  
  
"Oh, stop it, you don't want to tell me, so I had to find a way." He replied looking away and pouting.  
  
"It's a surprise. Eric and Yunho are the only ones that can know about it at the moment." I replied.  
  
"I have my ways to find out." Hyesung nodded. "Let's say... I can persuade someone to let Marshy stay with you." He said to Eric. I forgot Hyesung's cousin was in charge of dorms.  
  
"Really?" Eric asked getting excited. I swear, he lived for that dog. Hyesung nodded. "Well, it's about..." He paused, then laughed. "You really thought I was gonna tell you?" Eric scoffed shaking his head. Luckily, his friends still meant more to him. I smirked looking at Hyesung.  
  
"See? My friends are more loyal to me then you think." I said sticking out my tongue at him. Childish, I know, but I couldn't help it.  
  
"Partybreaker." Hyesung muttered and suddenly froze, looking at something behind me.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hey Heechul." I greeted him smiling brightly and continued to walk to the table where everyone was. Hyesung noticed me first and I smirked. He looked so hurt. The light atmosphere their chat had suddenly changed, I had no idea my appearance had that kind of power.  
  
Dongwan looked at me next, following Hyesung's gaze, and his glare amused me. Eric, Yunho and Jae just sat there, waiting for something to happen. I simply continued smiling, but right before I stood next to their table Hyesung got up and rushed past me. Dongwan stood up next, following him. Run, Wannie, your baby needs comfort. Stupid Dongwan, in love with the guy he'll never have. Hyesung had higher standards, I'm living example.  
  
"Hey guys." I said casually. "You don't mind me joining?" I asked, already preparing to sit down.  
  
"Yes, we do." JaeJoong replied coldly and I raised my eyebrow at him, putting on a rather amused look again.  
  
"Oh Jae... come on, you didn't mind spending time with me in the past." I said.  
  
"That was before you hurt Hyesung." He replied standing up as well. "I'll see you guys." He said turning to Eric and Yunho and walked away.  
  
"I'm looking forward to it!" I yelled after him. "I'll see you guys at the party, right?" I asked Eric and Yunho.  
  
"You bet." Yunho replied glaring at me. He wanted to jump and beat the sh.it out of me and was doing his best to control himself. I smirked, waving and walked away as well.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I'm going to kill him, Eric, I swear to god, I'm not gonna let him hurt anyone else." I muttered as Eric put his hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me down.  
  
"You mean you won't let him hurt Jae." Eric said quietly.  
  
"I won't let him hurt anyone, no one deserves what he did to Hyesung." I replied and looked at him. "Especially not Jae."


	12. Chapter 12

Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
I exited the café and started running back to the dorms. I just wanted to get to my room. I wanted to hide. I heard someone run after me and I didn't need to look back to know who it was.  
  
"Hyesung!" he yelled for me to stop, but I couldn't do it. He sped up and caught up with me, but it really wasn't that hard of a task considering my current state. I was tired of fighting with myself.  
  
"Stop." Dongwan said putting his arms around me and trying to catch his breath. I felt his heart beating quickly against my chest and involuntarily smiled as it matched with my own heart.  
  
I didn't reply, sinking into my own thoughts again. I was confused. I was hurt, still thinking about Minwoo, but at the same time feeling something new, something I didn't dare to feel before. Even now I wasn't sure if I should let go and surrender to those feelings. No matter how strong he thought I was this terrified me.  
  
I fought with myself again. I wanted to push him away from me, at least until I figure out what was going on within me. But I couldn't.  
  
"Sungie..." he said again and kissed my forehead and I quickly hugged him back. I needed him, so much. A sob escaped my mouth and he quickly pulled me closer. "Let's go." He said softly and I blindly followed him back to our room.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
It's always been half an hour since Changmin started his whining. I glanced at Eric and he returned a painful look I was sure I had on my face. Minnie was exaggerating as usual. Singing a duet with Kim Junsu can't be that bad. We all knew the kid, he wasn't bad at all. Dongwan's little dongsaeng, we loved him. He wasn't exactly innocent, being player and party boy, but he was a nice guy, still adorable and childish. I felt more sorry for him being stuck with Min than vice versa. I mean, Changmin was truly like a family to me and Eric, but we both knew what he could be like around Kim Junsu.  
  
"Can you believe it? I have to actually work with him for the whole year! Whole freaking year!!!" Changmin shrieked for fifth time in the past half an hour, like we didn't get it by now.  
  
"It'll be useful for you." I replied. "You'll learn how to work with one person you can't stand. Learning to compromise is a big part of growing up." Changmin stared at me with open mouth, trying to find something to say back, but then hopelessly looked at Eric.  
  
"He's right Min." Eric nodded.  
  
"You guys are not helping here!" Min exclaimed burying his head into his hands and I smiled putting my arm around him.  
  
"It's not gonna be that bad." I said. At least it'll be interesting. I kind of envied Yoochun for being able to watch the two of them trying to work together. Fighting a lot. Okay, maybe I didn't want to be around them to experience that afterall.  
  
"So, Yoochun is working with you?" Eric asked nonchalantly. You're a good actor Eric, but I'm even better. You can't fool me.  
  
"Yes, hyung." Changmin smiled. "Want me to introduce you?" he asked glancing at me with a knowing smirk on his face.  
  
"Oh, they already met." I nodded chuckling slightly and Eric blushed. "Actually, I believe Yoochun was the one who turned our straight friend into a pathetic homosexual."  
  
"I'm not pathetic!" Eric defended himself.  
  
"No, you're not, that's why you can come up to him and talk, that's why you're spending all your free time with him, instead of talking about him with me the whole day." I nodded sarcastically. I could tell Changmin was highly amused with our conversation as he looked from me to Eric. At least we stopped talking about him. Strangely he was the one who started the talk about him and Junsu, but now it looked like he was more than happy to end it.  
  
"Shut up." Eric said quietly and pouted looking down.  
  
"Aww hyung, you should do something." Changmin said jumping from my bed and walking over to sit next to Eric.  
  
"I know." Eric sighed, still looking down.  
  
"Look, I have some of Yoochun's stuff here, I just went to pick up notes for tomorrow." Changmin said taking out one of Yoochun's songs and placing it in Eric's lap. It was funny, watching sweety Min trying to cheer Eric up.  
  
Eric looked at the sheet of paper in front of him and smiled.  
  
"It's beautiful." He said quietly, humming the music as he scanned the notes in front of him.  
  
"I know." Changmin sighed and I knew he was thinking about himself having to sing those beautiful notes together with Junsu. He was everything but thrilled by the idea. "What time is it?" he asked suddenly.  
  
"5:30." I replied glancing at my watch. "Why?"  
  
"Oh sh.it." Changmin cursed and grabbed the sheet from Eric's hands, standing up quickly. "I was supposed to come back to my room at 5. I have to practice with 'the jerk'." He explained as quickly as possible. "Bye guys." He added and ran out of the door. I looked at Eric and laughed. The knock on the door interrupted us and I stood up to open it.  
  
"You forgot something?" I asked as I opened the door, but then smiled. "Hi."  
  
"Hi Yunho." Junjin smiled back at me, then looked over my shoulder, into the room, smiling at Eric. He looked back at me. "You guys wanna go for a coffee? I was bored and I don't know a lot of people around here... Minwoo is working on his new piece... you know..." he trailed off. I couldn't care less about Minwoo and his music as long as Junjin was here. I smiled again, I'll be able to get to know him now.  
  
"Yeah, sure, we don't have any plans anyway." I smiled opening the door for him. "Come in, we'll be ready in a minute." I said letting him in.  
  
"Hey." Eric greeted him and Junjin smiled broadly.  
  
"Hey Eric, what's up?" he asked as I grabbed my cell phone and put it into my pocket.  
  
"Not much." Eric shrugged. Except you liking his brother that is. I smirked glancing at my best friend. He didn't seem to notice as he continue to look at Junjin. "You still like it here?" he asked chuckling slightly.  
  
"Yeah, I still haven't found the reason to think otherwise." Junjin replied. How about your roommate? Man, Minwoo is seriously pi$$ing me off.  
  
"Eric, are you ready?" I asked as I took some money and walked over to door.  
  
"Always." He joked and I smirked opening the door for the three of us, than stepping out after Eric and Junjin.  
  
"Oh, wait, I forgot my phone." Eric said walking back into the room.  
  
I glanced at Junjin and smiled again. The guy was gorgeous and I was slightly embarrassed thinking about him that way. We didn't even know each other. But he attracted me so much.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked down the hallway, carrying bunch of books I needed for my history of art class. I stopped noticing Yunho with some guy, leaning against the door to his room and talking happily. Curious as I was I approached them slowly and gasped when I realized it was Yoochun's brother he was with. Yunho didn't notice me right away and I looked at him weirdly, realizing his attention was completely directed at Junjin. I haven't seen him staring at someone as openly as he stared at the handsome boy in front of him. A slight wave of jealousy hit me, but I put my smile on and walked up to them.  
  
"Hey guys." I said smiling as best as I could. They looked at me and smiled back, but I could see a slight disappointment in Yunho's eyes. Was I imagining things? He wasn't happy to see me? I interrupted something, I was unwanted here. "What's up?" I asked breaking eye contact with Yunho and looking at Junjin.  
  
"Oh we were just going for a coffee." Junjin replied happily. "Wanna join?"  
  
"Thanks, but I can't." I replied glancing at Yunho again. How can I join you? How can I look at you while you're flirting with other guy? "I have a lot of work." I said pointing to my books.  
  
"But, we still have time for that history of art essay." Junjin said looking at the books I was carrying. Damnit, I forgot he was in my class.  
  
"Yeah, well... I have to help Yoochun with something too." I lied already walking away. "We'll go for a coffee some other time, okay?" I added, smiling painfully. "Have fun."  
  
I practically ran away from them, trying not to drop my books as I walked up to my room and opened the door quickly. Disappearing behind it I put the books down and finally allowed myself to break down. Crying. Again.  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Sorry guys." I said smiling sheepishly as I finally walked out of the room.  
  
"I thought you were just going to take your phone." Yunho laughed looking at me.  
  
"Yeah, well..." I started.  
  
"It's alright, Eric, it's not like we stood here waiting for you in silence." Junjin said smiling and causing me to smile back. "Let's go." I glanced at Yunho, finding him smiling brightly as well. I raised my eyebrow looking back at Junjin. I wasn't the best person when it came to noticing things, but... Was it me or Yunho had a crush?  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You're late." Junsu greeted me nonchalantly as I closed the door and put my bag down.  
  
"Sorry." I replied and he looked at me weirdly. I guess he didn't expect an apology. "We can start right away." I added ignoring his look.  
  
"I can't now." He replied. "If you came earlier we could've done it, I don't have time for it now."  
  
"Oh come on, I was only half an hour late." I said sitting down on my bed.  
  
"Only half an hour?" he repeated looking at me. "Do you know what we could've done during that time?"  
  
"Oh, I have some ideas..." I switched to my playful mood.  
  
"I have some too." He replied looking at me and I raised my eyebrows in confusion. He obviously didn't catch what I meant. I shut up debating what to respond.  
  
I stood up, walking up to him. I smiled confidently again and stopped inches away from Junsu.  
  
"I have some perverted ideas." I said looking at him. I expected a usual Junsu reaction, push me away, call me perverted jerk, a fag. But what he did...  
  
Not breaking eye contact he reached down and cupped my... my... you know... oh damn, why is it so hard to say it? He grabbed me, he grabbed my manhood, instantly waking it up. I jumped a mile away from him, widening my eyes at him as he smirked. If he wanted to leave me speechless that was the best possible way.  
  
"Don't be late next time." He said smirking and went out of the room.


	13. Chapter 13

Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
Closing the door behind me nonchalantly I ran to Dongwan's and Hyesung's room as fast as I could. I walked in quickly, not even paying attention to them and went straight to the bathroom.  
  
"Ew, ew, ew, ew..." I repeated with disgust as I furiously washed my hands. I couldn't believe what I've just done. Touching Shim Changmin like that. Heck, touching Shim Changmin period. I closed my eyes shuddering at the thought and continued washing my hands, feeling like it would be best if I just peel my skin off.  
  
I could hear Dongwan and Hyesung peeking into the bathroom curiously watching me.  
  
"What are you doing?" Dongwan asked me raising his eyebrow and I turned around finally, as I grabbed a towel.  
  
"Trying to peel my skin off." I replied. "Isn't it obvious?"  
  
"Why?" Hyesung asked me. I walked between them out of the bathroom and sat down on Dongwan's bed.  
  
"Don't ask." I shook my head, than put it in my hands. Realizing where my right hand has been just minutes ago, I quickly removed it making a disgusted face all over again.  
  
"What did you do?" Dongwan asked suspiciously. Hyesung waited for my answer, putting his hands on his hips. I looked at them, finding them strangely resembling to my parents. I couldn't escape them. And I knew I had to tell them, even if they didn't push it, Dongwan and Hyesung were the only people that knew everything that was going on in my life. I was thankful for that.  
  
"I touched him." I said feeling sick again.  
  
"You touched Changmin?" Dongwan raised an eyebrow in confusion.  
  
"Where?" Hyesung asked looking like he already knew the answer.  
  
"You know... there..." I said blushing.  
  
"T-there?" Dongwan asked widening his eyes, but Hyesung stayed calm. Or at least he looked like it.  
  
"How? What exactly did you do?" he asked instead. I didn't know I'll have to draw it to him. I sighed, looking away as I showed what I did, touching myself in the exact same way. Another furious blush covered my face, as I felt even more embarrassed.  
  
"You're kidding..." Dongwan said widening his eyes.  
  
"You did that to sweety Min?" Hyesung asked, then started laughing. I nodded, finally looking at them.  
  
"But... why?" Dongwan continued.  
  
"Because he's pi$$ing me off. He's playing with me, he thinks he's all that, always better than me. Now I'm not gay like the rest of you guys and that makes me less worth all of the sudden? Just because he's 'out of the closet' and so proud of it doesn't make him any better. I like girls, that should be normal anyway, he's so... urghh..." I said furiously. "I'm not letting him win, I can play this too. Oh, you should've seen his expression." I added remembering how he reacted, I had to admit I felt satisfied at that moment. Heck, now, being able to recall it, I was even more satisfied. Oh yes, this is just the start.  
  
Dongwan and Hyesung watched me go from miserable to happy again and I knew they must've thought I went crazy. I smiled cheesily and got up.  
  
"I have to go guys, I have a date." I smiled and walked out. This is just the start. Should I be this happy?  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I asked Dongwan as Junsu closed the door behind him.  
  
"He's turning gay?" Wannie smirked. "I find it funny."  
  
"Yeah, but not that." I said lying down on my bed and thinking about what Junsu told us. "I don't think Changmin tries to prove that he's better anymore."  
  
"There's more to it, huh?" Wannie said thinking about it as well.  
  
"Definitely." I nodded. "And Junsu... something tells me his plan is going to backfire."  
  
"Should we be worried?" Wannie asked again, raising his eyebrow playfully. I smiled back at him, knowing we were definitely agreeing about this one. And just as I thought, we spoke in unison.  
  
"Absolutely not."  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
We were sitting at Heechul's, talking about everything. I couldn't help but notice Junjin trying to bring Eric's attention to himself just as much as I was trying to keep my own conversation with him. Eric must have felt slightly uncomfortable, since he always brought me into conversation. I didn't think he noticed my obvious interest in Junjin. I loved my best friend, but he was always so clueless. It was funny how innocent he truly was, as that didn't quite match with his appearance.  
  
I sipped my coffee when Yoochun entered the caf�, greeted Heechul and then turned to us. He hesitated for a moment, but then approached us.  
  
"Hi guys." He said shyly looking from Junjin and me to Eric. Their eye contact lasted for a brief second and Yoochun looked away first, still standing awkwardly next to our table.  
  
"Wanna join us?" I asked and he smiled slightly, then sat down next to Eric.  
  
"I thought you had some plans with JaeJoong." Junjin said suddenly, looking at his brother. "We ran into him half an hour ago, but he couldn't go for a coffee with us. He said he had some stuff to do with you."  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
Plans with Jae? He must've felt uncomfortable because of Eric. I don't blame him, I bet Junjin is throwing himself at him by now. I'm surprised he didn't grab a seat next to him, maybe he changed him tactics.  
  
"Yeah, I just came to buy a coffee for us and I'm going." I lied. I didn't dare to look at Eric, it was always hard to look away from him afterwards. I could feel his look on me, but I didn't think a lot about it. He can't feel anything towards me because then I will give in to my own feelings and that can't happen. Jae's ex, Jin's interest... too many obstacles. I don't need pain.  
  
"You're going so soon?" Eric asked suddenly grabbing my hand, but then releasing it so quickly I wasn't even sure of what happened. I looked at him, blushing slightly. He glanced away this time and I paused to find my voice.  
  
"Jae is waiting for me." I said awkwardly again and stood up. "I'm gonna get my coffee." I said walking to the bar and turning to Heechul. He was fast and the next thing I knew I had two cups of freshly made coffee in my hands.  
  
I turned back to the guys. Junjin and Yunho were talking about something and Eric was just staring at me, again. I had to get out of there.  
  
"I'm going guys." I smiled.  
  
"Say hi to Jae." Junjin said and I nodded. I looked at Eric one last time before I exited the caf�.  
  
  
Junjin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched my brother walking out of the caf� and turned to look at Eric. The guy looked totally hypnotized and I frowned slightly. I couldn't read a lot from Yoochun's behavior, if there was something he was doing his best to hide it. Eric, on the other hand, he was too obvious. Staring and Yoochun, grabbing his hand, blushing... he was like a little kid. He made me want him even more.  
  
If there is something, Yoochun won't do anything about it, I know him too well. There's the difference between the two of us. There is nothing between me and Eric. At least not yet. I'm willing to change that. I will change that.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
We said goodbye to Junjin and headed for our room. Ever since Yoochun left us Eric has been in his own world. I smiled every time I looked at him, I wanted to help him somehow, but he needed to do it himself.  
  
"You like Junjin?" he asked me once we stepped into our room. I was surprised. I thought he was thinking about Yoochun this whole time. And I certainly didn't think he'd notice me taking interest in Junjin.  
  
"I... I'm interested in him." I replied choosing my words carefully. Maybe I did like him, but it was too soon. Eric nodded and went to bathroom. He was acting strange, usually he would make fun of me, joking, be cheerful. I sat down on my bed and waited for him to come back.  
  
"Thinking about Yoochun?" I asked once he went out of the bathroom and he nodded again.  
  
"I can't stop thinking about him Yunho." He blushed looking down. "You saw me, I hardly control myself."  
  
"I know." I nodded in return, not knowing what to say to him. "It'll be okay, just don't rush things. I think this all is new to him as well." I said smiling. He smiled back. Good sign.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hey, where have you been?" I asked Junjin as he walked into the room.  
  
"At Heechul's." he replied. "With Yunho and Eric."  
  
"Oh." I smiled. I knew Jin was after Eric from the first moment he saw him. "How did it go?"  
  
"Okay... until Yoochun came and made Eric drool over him." He frowned. I raised my eyebrow. That's new. "Yeah, of course, he's not gonna do anything about it, so I'm not giving up." Sounds like something my best friend would say. I grinned. "Oh yeah, we ran into JaeJoong." He added.  
  
"Yeah?" I looked at him, extremely interesting.  
  
"Yeah. It's not gonna be easy mate, he's still in love with Yunho." He said. Like I didn't know.  
  
"Just like you, I'm not giving up." I replied simply.  
  
"I know." He nodded smiling back at me. Lee Minwoo, you're gonna get him. Sooner or later.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Guys, did you practice at all?" Yoochun asked with a slight disappointment in his voice. I frowned, glancing at Junsu. He looked back at me, but his face was expressionless. Did I expect something more from him?  
  
"Sorry Yoochunah." Junsu spoke suddenly, surprising me slightly. I expected him to remain silent and wait for me to say something. "We... ummm..."  
  
"I was late for our practice and then Junsu had some stuff to do..." I jumped in. "Let's try again."  
  
Junsu looked at me raising his eyebrow.  
  
"Let's just get this over with." I muttered to him as Yoochun started playing again. I blushed as I remembered what happened yesterday and he smirked, obviously reading my mind.  
  
Stupid thoughts, I couldn't make them stop appearing. And what's with my body reacting? I am gay, but that doesn't mean every male jerk walking around turns me on. I glanced at Junsu as he sang his part. Still looking at me? Still daring me?  
  
Music stopped, waking me up from my thoughts.  
  
"Min?" Yoochun called and I blinked, looking at him. "You missed it again." Shoot, I should start paying attention. What's wrong with me? I'm usually the most concentrated one, working better than anyone else. Now I'm just... distracted and out of it all. Stupid Junsu! No, stupid me and my thoughts and my body and... urgh, why am I giving in so easily? He's enjoying this, he's winning. He's grinning at me now.  
  
"Sorry... Start over, it'll be okay this time, I promise." I apologized. If it was just Junsu I wouldn't care, I would probably mess up on purpose. But I was embarrassed for taking up Yoochun's time.  
  
"No, wait." He interrupted me. "I think we should stop for today. Please guys, practice by yourself, we can't do much like this." He added standing up and taking his notes.  
  
I nodded feeling guilty all over again. Again - this is gonna be hard. But it'll be even harder for him.


	14. Chapter 14

Jaejoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
By the time he came back to the room I managed to calm down and start studying. Ever since yesterday I couldn't stop thinking about Yunho and Junjin. Yoochun walked in with an uneasy look on his face, carrying two cups of coffee and a sheet of music under his right arm.  
  
"Hey." I greeted him first. He seemed to be deep in his thoughts.  
  
"Hey." He echoed. "I got you a coffee." He added handing me a cup and I smiled, thanking him.  
  
"I saw your brother with..." I started, not really knowing why. Maybe because I wanted to let it out and maybe just because jealousy was too strong, threatening to eat me alive. I felt awful for even thinking about it, but maybe I wanted to hurt him. Hurting Yoochun was dumb, he became such a close friend, but at the same time, he was Junjin's brother. My silly mind was thinking that hurting Yoochun would hurt Junjin and I would feel better. I didn't even have anything against the guy, it's just... Yunho. Still affecting my life, hurting my heart.  
  
"I saw them too." He cut me off sitting down and looking back at me finally. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Are you?" I asked back. No, I'm not going to talk about it. My feelings... I need to get over them.  
  
"Of course I am." He lied putting on a smile and I nodded playing along. Of course you are... not.  
  
Silent agreement. We went back to our work. Not talking about Yunho.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stared at him, singing his part. I had no idea I would enjoy this so much. Mission: Torturing Shim Changmin was developing smoothly, just the way I wanted it. After today's practice with Yoochun we agreed to work on this together. I didn't doubt Changmin would refuse, knowing how important school and grades were for him. And I wouldn't miss a chance to get on his nerves.  
  
"What are you looking at?" he snapped suddenly.  
  
"I was wondering if you'll ever finish and let me show you how it's done." I said. "My ears hurt." I added and before he could protest I started singing.  
  
"I thought you learnt something while you were staring so intently." He said after I finished. "But now I see you were just admiring my irresistible body." He grinned winking at me. Looks like someone started the game. Again.  
  
"Yeah, I just can't resist it." I replied sarcastically. Lame comeback this time Junsu. Man, how does he do that every time?  
  
"Admitting it sooner than I thought you will. You have a problem with playing with me Junsu?" he smirked walking up to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water from it.  
  
"Who said anything about playing?" I asked innocently. He figured out what I was trying to do, but it wasn't a surprise to me. As much as I hated to admit it Changmin was the smartest person I met.  
  
"Oh, so that's how it is?" he said nodding slightly and walking over to me, until he was so close I could feel his breath on my face. "How far are you ready to go then?" he asked looking at me. I stared back, trying to stay calm as my heart began to pound. What the hell?  
  
"I thought you would rather find out yourself." I smirked cockily, but not stepping away from him. I'm not a coward. Although my body does tend to give in. He smirked as well and stepped away, giving me back my needed space. That was close.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
I woke up at the feel of clothes hitting my bed. I glanced up at Hyesung who was picking up clothes from closet, deciding what to wear tonight. He had the whole day for that, why did he have to do it at... I looked at the clock... 8am? Not to mention that it was Saturday. I groaned, causing him to look at me.  
  
"Oh, you woke up!" he said cheerfully.  
  
"It's 8." I replied glaring at him. "At 8 on Saturday morning normal people sleep."  
  
"I'm not normal." He replied turning back to the closet.  
  
"I know." I buried my face into the pillow, shifting in the bed and making some of his clothes fall to the floor.  
  
"Wan!" he exclaimed picking them up. "I'm trying to choose what I'm going to wear tonight."  
  
"On my bed?" I asked removing pillow from my face.  
  
"You're cute." He grinned reaching down to ruffle my hair. I blinked. "But not very helpful." He frowned and started putting clothes neatly back on my bed.  
  
"You're crazy." I said watching him, but not moving to get up. I need more sleep.  
  
"Get up, come on Wannie, I need your help." He whined. You need my help with putting clothes on, I would rather help you with taking them off. Dirty thoughts, go away... I sighed.  
  
"You know I was looking forward to my precious Saturday morning sleep and you ruined it for me." I replied sitting up finally.  
  
"If you're talking about beauty sleep you don't need it." He grinned.  
  
"I'm talking about sleep! I'm tired, we're going to a party tonight, after a busy week at school... of course I need sleep." I continued, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the bed.  
  
"That's better." He grinned. "Now, help me." Of course, every battle with Sungie is lost for me.  
  
"I'm going to the bathroom first." I said sighing.  
  
"Hurry." He said before I closed the door behind me and yawned, looking at the mirror.  
  
  
Junjin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I'm going first, since I have to get there first." Minwoo said, referring to the bathroom and the party and I nodded. He was supposed to get ready as soon as possible, because he had to finish preparings for the party. I continued to draw, at the same time thinking about what I should wear. It was my first party here and everybody will be there. I had to leave a good impression. Not good, but the best. I'm Park Junjin afterall.  
  
Minwoo went out of the bathroom wearing just his boxers and quickly opened the closet, looking for the perfect outfit.  
  
"Need some help?" I asked glancing at him, but he shook his head no.  
  
I should've known. Lee Minwoo doesn't really need help with anything. That was one of his most interesting characteristics. Minwoo did everything by himself. From picking up outfits, organizing parties, working on his music... to getting all the hot guys around the campus. Since the year started we went out a couple of times and I was able to see the famous Lee Minwoo charm coming out. He didn't need anyone to introduce him to someone, he didn't need help figuring out if the object of his interest was truly gay or not. He never had a problem with approaching the most stunning guy in the club and even though my gaydar was famous, his was quite good, since every guy he picked clearly enjoyed the attention.  
  
"I'm going Jin." Minwoo's words woke me up and I put down my pencil and looked at him. Hot as always.  
  
"You look good." I said checking him out.  
  
"Thanks, I know." He replied smiling teasingly at me and I chuckled. "I'll see you later." He added and went out as I stood up and went to the bathroom to get ready myself.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I don't feel like going to that party." Jae said and I looked at him. We were already dressed, buy neither of us was looking forward to the night ahead of us.  
  
"Me neither." I replied. "Should we stay?"  
  
"No." he sighed, but then chuckled. "Come on, we might even have some fun."  
  
"Wanna get drunk with me?" I asked smiling.  
  
"You mean drown our sorrow... or something along those cheesy lines?" He laughed.  
  
"Yeah, I might even get inspiration for a song." I joked. "And you for a new picture. There will be a lot of freaks I guess."  
  
"You're right." He nodded. "Let's go."  
  
And he pulled me out of the room, sharing a hope with me this time. It was useless though, we knew we were going to see him.  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
Yunho looked at me and shook his head.  
  
"What? I thought this was the one!" I cried, taking off my shirt already.  
  
"You're hopeless." He said getting up from his bed and walking over to the closet, then looking through my shirts. Unsatisfied with what he found he paused, thinking for a moment. Then he pulled out one of his shirts. "Here you go." He said handing it to me.  
  
I made a face looking at it, not wanting to admit that he was right and that one really was perfect. How come he just had style and I... didn't.  
  
"Stop pretending you don't like it and get dressed already. Your underwear is just... disturbing." He muttered the last part, trying to suppress his laugh.  
  
"Hey! Don't insult Snoopy!" I said quickly putting on my pants.  
  
"Eric, you have Woodstock covering your... thingy." He said between now open laughs, trying to choose the right words. I blushed like a little kid. I was lucky it was Yunho I shared room with. If it was someone else I would have to change all my underwear.  
  
I pouted like a spoiled brat and put my, I mean Yunho's, shirt on, then went into bathroom to fix my hair.  
  
"Hey, Snoopy, are you ready?" Yunho called. He was having too much fun.  
  
"Let's go." I muttered opening the door finally. He jumped and hugged me from behind.  
  
"I still love you." He chuckled.  
  
"You're so gay." I said, but smiled.  
  
"You are too, my best friend." He replied.  
  
I am. And I'll see him tonight.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I don't have anything to wear." I said giving up and sitting down on Dongwan's bed, now covered with my clothes.  
  
"You sound like Junsu." Dongwan replied looking at me from his papers. He can write while I'm about to go through another breakdown. I did have clothes, I did have what to wear, I just didn't have courage all of the sudden. "What's the matter Sungie?" he asked next, putting his pen down and coming over to me.  
  
"I don't think I can go." I said looking down and he pulled me into a hug.  
  
"Of course you can. Just don't think about him. He's nothing, there will be so many other people there, you can't let him control your life now." He said rubbing my back. He was right, I just couldn't do it yet. I couldn't admit it.  
  
"I know, I just... can't."  
  
"Yes, you can. There is no such thing as 'I can't'. I don't want to hear it." He said pulling away from me to look at me. I looked back. "We're gonna go and have fun."  
  
"We will?" I smiled as he nodded. "You won't leave me Wannie?"  
  
"How could I..." he laughed.  
  
"I'm serious, you'll be there for me?" I asked again, panicking slightly. Partly because I was afraid he will - not now, but some time in the future, and partly because I felt like I was pushing it with my question.  
  
"Of course, Sungie, always." He replied hugging me tighter again. I sighed contently.  
  
"What should I wear?" I asked after a couple of moments.  
  
"You're ruining the moment." Wannie half-groaned, but smiled. I chuckled, happy to go back to my old self. I had my Wannie, nothing else mattered.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I lowered my book down as he pressed his wet body against me. I looked up at him, finding it difficult to breath. His left leg rested between my own legs, the right knee beside me, on the bed, as he leaned down.  
  
"What are you doing?" I managed to ask, although my voice came out low and lusty-like. Stupid voice. Stupid body. You're not getting hard Min, not this time.  
  
"I forgot my boxers." He replied innocently, leaning over me and looking down as he blindly searched for them. The only thing covering him was a rather small towel, resting on his hips and I didn't dare to look at it. Although looking at Junsu's eyes wasn't much better. He looked too good for Kim Junsu.  
  
"And what are your boxers doing on my bed?" I asked another question, surprising myself with being able to do so. I was satisfied with myself, remaining as calm as possible. I hoped he won't look at my lap though.  
  
"Being the famous pervert around here, you took them?" he asked with that innocent expression on his face.  
  
"Why taking something as small as underwear when I can have something better?" I returned somewhat fake smile.  
  
"Always looking for more Changmin." He said finally grabbing his underwear. "Be careful what you wish for." He added standing up and going back to the bathroom.  
  
You're the one who should be careful Junsu. You have no idea what playing with me can lead you to.


	15. Chapter 15

Junjin's P.O.V.  
  
  
When I entered the party I was surprised to see a lot of people there already. I looked around, spotting Minwoo chatting with some guys I didn't recognize, but other then him there was no one familiar around and I decided to take a drink and wait for a bit. Just as I approached the bar I heard a voice greet me.  
  
"Hey Jin." I turned around and smiled at my little brother. We ordered our drinks and I turned back to him.  
  
"You look nice bro." I chuckled examining his outfit. I never saw him going out, clubbing, Yoochun wasn't the type for it. I think we had another thing in common though - we both knew how to dress up. Even during day Yoochun always looked good, dressing quite simple, but managing to keep that mysterious look. I knew girls and guys alike were watching him. I smiled at the thought, I could never be ashamed of him, he just had both style and the right aura surrounding him.  
  
"Thanks. I don't need to say it back, since you're very well aware of that." He joked. It was quite disappointing he knew me better than I knew him, but I brushed that thought off. Again.  
  
I didn't say anything and he took a sip of his drink, looking around. We never talked much anyway, we got used to that and it never was uncomfortable. I sighed contently and looked around as well, my face lighting up suddenly.  
  
"Hey guys!" Yunho greeted us, but I already glanced at Eric. He didn't look like a hot dork he was, he looked so sexy tonight and I smiled slightly, keeping my hormones in place as I checked him out openly.  
  
"Hey..." I replied smirking and glancing from Eric to Yunho and then back to Eric.  
  
"Hi." He said somewhat shyly, but focusing on Yoochun. I looked at my brother, hoping he would take a hint and leave. Eric was obviously attracted to him and I couldn't risk my chance of having him. Yoochun looked back at him for a moment, smiling slightly and then looked down at his glass, not muttering a word.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I felt Junjin's intense gaze on me for a moment, but then he shifted and took a sip of his drink, while leaning against the bar, then started a conversation I didn't really want to be a part of. I dazed off, stealing glances at Eric. I knew it was wrong, but I was slowly losing fight with myself, giving in.  
  
He looked great, although not quite like himself. That shirt... it gave out a different Eric, I didn't imagine him like that at all. During the day he would always look more dorky, he was adorable like that, but this shirt now was everything but dorky. His hair was as messy as always, adding more to his already attractive appearance. It screamed sex and suddenly I felt so hot... must be the alcohol. I caught myself staring at him and he stared right back.  
  
"Yoochun!" I looked away finally and smiled seeing Jae come up to us. I blushed, realizing what I've been thinking about, what I've been doing and then glanced at Junjin on my other side. He talked to Yunho, glancing at Eric every now and then. As I remembered all the reasons why I shouldn't feel anything for Eric a feel of guilt and pain hit me and I looked down again, thinking how coming to a party wasn't such a good idea afterall.  
  
"I've been looking for you." Jae continued and I looked at him. He greeted the guys and rested his eyes on Yunho for a moment. He probably didn't want to look at Eric.  
  
"You found me, let's go." I said faster then I wanted. I wasn't thinking anymore, I just wanted to escape this situation, this company. "I'll see you later." I looked at them quickly and pulled JaeJoong away.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was jealous again. Seeing both Junjin and Yoochun there with Yunho made me feel awful.  
  
"I didn't know you're so friendly with them." I said with a slight sarcasm. Yoochun looked away, clearly embarrassed.  
  
"I'm not... I just happened to be there." He said quietly. "Are you jealous?"  
  
"What? No, of course not." I replied quickly. Liar. I knew Yoochun didn't have to do anything with Yunho. He liked him, but Yunho was clearly interested in Junjin.  
  
"I'm sorry Jae." Yoochun said again. "I'm sorry... Junjin is my brother... and well, clearly, I feel something for him too." I listened to him, not knowing what to say. I wanted to let it all out.  
  
"It's not your fault." I couldn't do it. The frustration increased. "Let's not talk about it anymore, okay?" I asked and he nodded silently.  
  
"I'm gonna go dance a bit." Yoochun said and I watched him disappear in the crowd. I sighed.  
  
"Hey sexy." I heard someone whisper into my ear and I turned around quickly.  
  
"Minwoo."  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
Jae, of course, looked as stunning as always. My eyes could never get enough of him and I couldn't wait to actually have him. Tonight - the hunt begins.  
  
"When did you get here?" I asked smiling playfully at his glaring expression.  
  
"None of your business. I already told you there's nothing about me that should concern you." He replied coldly and ordered a drink slightly turning away from me.  
  
"But Jae, you interest me..." I said as he turned to face me. "Very much." I added leaning closer to him teasingly.  
  
"Too bad." He replied taking a sip and trying to step back, but with place crowded as it was tonight he didn't have anywhere to back away. I, on the other hand, loved the fact that people behind me made me step even closer to him.  
  
I raised my hand, brushing my fingers against his beautiful face, but just as I did it, he reached up and yanked my hand away.  
  
"Don't touch me." He hissed glaring again, then stepped away, turning around and walked away. I smirked looking after him for a moment, but then looked around. Spotting the person I secretly looked for, I raised my eyebrow and made my way to him.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I kept staring at him ever since I went out of the bathroom and saw him standing there, looking too great for a jerk named Kim Junsu. He looked so fine, defending his position of a player and one of the most famous eye candies around here. I didn't want to think about it or allow it, but I was turned on.  
  
He didn't tease me anymore and I silently got dressed. He didn't even pay attention. Or so I thought. It was better that way anyway, right? Instead, he went through some of our music sheets and I was slightly surprised to find him waiting for me patiently. In any other situation I'd expect from him not to pay attention at all and just go to that party. This time I knew he did it on purpose. He was up to something.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I hid myself behind my notes, but watched every Changmin's move intently. Every time he looked away I'd look at him openly, wondering how a guy like that still couldn't find a boyfriend. Oh right, his nasty personality. What was I thinking?  
  
I decided to wait for him. He knew I wanted to play now and he was playing along, making things even more interesting. Was I excited?  
  
The feeling of us not fighting or talking at all in the privacy of our room was slightly weird, but neither of us said a thing. One more thing to make ourselves wondering how hard we'll play tonight. Or how hard it'll be to make him hard. He was gay and I was one of the hottest guys around afterall. I could see his odd looking pants already. I doubt it'll take long. He needs to learn a lesson. After tonight I don�t think he'll mess with me anymore.  
  
As we exited the room and started walking I grabbed his hand. He looked at me, raising his eyebrow slightly, but I smiled. Understanding, he smirked. The game has begun.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I'm going to get a drink." He said to me as we entered the party. I watched him go and flirt with random girl. I smirked. Kim Junsu, have fun while you can.  
  
I turned around and greeted a couple of familiar people, then proceeded to the bar. I ordered my drink and turned around, leaning against the bar.  
  
"Heechul!" I waved at the boy and he approached me happily. He wasn't alone.  
  
"Hey Min." he said smiling. I smiled back.  
  
"Hey!" I replied looking at him, then glanced at the handsome guy beside him. "I see you have a company." I smirked naughtily and looked back at Heechul. He chuckled and hugged the boy that waited to be introduced.  
  
"This is my boyfriend, Donghae. Donghae, this is one of my close friends, Changmin." Heechul said and Donghae and I shook hands.  
  
"You got lucky Heechul. Who would've told..." I teased him and Donghae laughed, wrapping his arm around Heechul, returning the hug. Heechul kissed his forehead and looked at me.  
  
"Where's your boy?" he teased.  
  
"Flirting with girls. And he's not my boy." I replied glaring at him.  
  
"He better not be."  
  
"Just watch me." I smirked and drank. One of my favorite songs came up and I smiled, putting the glass down. Heechul was whispering something to Donghae. "I'll see ya later guys." I said and he waved his hand at me. Time for a party.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
I didn't let go of Dongwan ever since we went out of our room. In my silly head he meant strength and security. He was the reason I was able to go to this party. I didn't want to see anyone but Wannie. Maybe there was more behind it, but at the moment I didn't care and I didn't pay attention.  
  
I didn't know if he found it weird, me clinging onto him, not letting go, being too dependent on him tonight. He certainly didn't look like it, he looked content and happy. Sweet Wan - he was definitely a sweetie Wan tonight.  
  
He kept talking on our way there and I was smiling and laughing along with him, not even listening properly. I watched him, his smile, his gestures. I admired him, but I was still afraid to admit there was more to it. I had him tonight, he said he'll be there for me and that was enough.  
  
We walked into the crowded place and I knew that all of our friends must already be there. It was okay, I hated coming first anyway. I gently squeezed Dongwan's hand, making sure I won't lose him and he squeezed back in reassurance, smiling at me. I smiled back and continued walking through the crowd, pulling him with me. Until I bumped into someone.  
  
"Hey Sungie." He smiled sweetly, making me sick. He was the reason I didn't want to come. He was the last person I wanted to see.  
  
"I'm not 'Sungie' for you Minwoo. In fact I'm no one to you. Back off." I gritted my teeth as I sqeezed Dongwan's hand even tighter, but then calmed down slightly, not wanting to hurt my best friend because of the idiot in front of me.  
  
"Hyesung... come on..." he started, not removing that stupid smile from his face. "I thought we parted in rather nice way." I looked at him unbelievingly.  
  
"Parted in a nice way?" I started laughing slightly. Bitterly. This guy had some guts. "Are you kidding me? Are you fuc.king kidding me?" I yelled suddenly, causing a couple of people around us to look weirdly in my direction. "You're even bigger jerk than I thought."  
  
"Sungie..." he started again. This time Dongwan stepped forward, pushing me behind him.  
  
"He told you not to call him that." He said calmly.  
  
"Dongwan, stay out of this." Minwoo said. "Just because you're..." he didn't finish, since Dongwan let go of my hand and punched him. I heard a couple of gasps around us as I stared in shock. All these years, ever since we were kids, I've never seen Wannie hit anybody. Minwoo stumbled backwards and glared at him.  
  
"I pity you." He smirked. "Do you have any idea how pathetic you are Dongwan?" he added and I could feel my blood boiling. Dongwan looked at him clenching his fists. "Trying to be a hero to your best friend, huh? You'll never get what you want. You're a fool, thinking you're all that... oh how I pity you." He continued and Dongwan made a step forward, but I held him back.  
  
"Don't Wannie." I whispered into his ear. "Don't..." he hesitated, but I felt him calm down instantly.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
I wanted to kill the bastard. For everything he's done, said and is planning to do. I hated him. Lee Minwoo was the biggest jerk on planet and I just wanted to finish with him once and for all. I wanted him to leave Hyesung alone.  
  
I was surprised to see Hyesung so calm and strong all of the sudden, he was having such a hard time this past month, but now he looked like a different person.  
  
He pushed me back now and approached Minwoo. I watched him completely confused. However, the next thing he did was beyond everything I'd expected my sweet, gentle Hyesung to do.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked over to Minwoo, trying to act as calmer as possible, controlling myself the best way I could. He was looking at me, waiting for something, probably curious to see my reaction to his words. I suppose he expected a slap - that would be so Hyesung-like, right?  
  
Wrong.  
  
I kicked him where it hurts the most. He bent down in shock and pain, but I grabbed his collar and pulled him closer, surprised with my own actions.  
  
"What does it feel like? Feeling your most precious thing getting hurt?" I asked looking straight into Minwoo's eyes. He didn't reply, he just looked at me in shock. I smirked slightly, still not releasing him. "That's nothing Minwoo, you're a low being, hurting everyone you touch. We are the ones that pity you." He needed to know one more thing, once and for all. Heck, the jerk should be honored for getting to know this before everyone else.  
  
Before I let go of him, turned around and walked away one sentence escaped my lips.  
  
"And one more thing... Dongwan is my hero."


	16. Chapter 16

Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
Hyesung surprised me. I didn't expect that kind of reaction from him, but now that I got it I was glad. I was waiting for it. And it finally came.  
  
Everyone knew I was a bastard, that wasn't a secret at all. I just wanted to hear it from him, I wanted for him to despise me, realize what big of a jerk I am. And I wanted for him to get over me.  
  
I don't know why Hyesung made me feel the way I was feeling. Maybe because he was my first real boyfriend, because our relationship was something indeed a lot stronger then just a one night stand. I did love him at some point of it all, he was more than a sex-buddy, more than everyone else I've been with. It meant a lot, although I didn't want to say it out loud, afraid that someone could hear me. That someone could see that side of me.  
  
Lovesick fools were weak. And I certainly wasn't one of them.  
  
Sungie... I wanted him to finally say it all in my face, to let me know he moved on. I wanted him to heal and forget about me.  
  
As he let me go and walked away, followed by Dongwan I let a small smile appear on my face. Knowing that Dongwan wasn't a fool at all, knowing that he's the one who truly deserves Sungie. They'll be alright, of course they will. I, on the other hand, I'm moving on... going back to my old ways. To my next pray.  
  
"Jae..."  
  
  
Jaejoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You again." I sighed not even looking at him. What did he want now? Dongwan and Hyesung weren't enough for him? "I thought I told you to leave me alone."  
  
"I don't understand those words. They're not in my vocabulary." He said seriously and I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Too bad, 'cause they're in mine." I replied moving away from him.  
  
"Jae..." he called following me. He'll get bored, right?  
  
I continued walking until I reached the bar and ordered my drink. I put money on the bar, but Minwoo put his hand over mine, pushing the money back into my palm as he pulled out his wallet.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?" I asked glaring at him.  
  
"Buying you drink." He replied simply, smiling at the bartender and paying for both our drinks.  
  
"I'm not one of your who.res." I answered coldly putting my money back on the bar.  
  
"I agree." He replied repeating his action of returning me my money. He leaned closer this time though. "If I wanted a who.re I wouldn't be chasing you."  
  
I pulled away and he retreated, bringing his drink to his lips. I watched him for a moment, then took my own drink, downing it at once. I sighed softly closing my eyes as images of everything that bothered me came into my mind. Drink. I ordered another one. Minwoo followed.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
(listen to Junsu's theme song: DBSK - Rising Sun)  
  
  
Stupid Changmin. If it wasn't for him and his stupid rules I'd be in my room instead of this filthy bathroom. Okay, I admit it's not really filthy, but way to ruin a romantic/sexy atmosphere. The girl is not bad either. Damn, he's gonna pay me.  
  
I focused on the girl in front of me, tracing kisses along her jaw and sliding down, loving the feeling of her hand running up my back. She let out a small moan as I caressed more intimate parts of her body and I smiled mischievously, grinding against her body.  
  
Loud music could be heard from the outside of the small bathroom and I moved in rhythm with it, enjoying it immensely. Then... she grabbed my hair.  
  
One part of my body I hated being touched. My precious hair. It was indeed the most precious part of my body... if you don't count... you know... But unlike that other part, which craved for attention, touching my hair was absolutely forbidden.  
  
"Mmmngh..." I grunted opening my eyes and looking at her dangerously. She smiled sweetly, making me sick for being so unaware of the moment she completely ruined. "Let go of my hair." I growled lowly, stopping moving completely. As soon as she did I stepped away from her and exited the bathroom, not caring about my appearance.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Looking at the guy in front of me I gave him a fake smile and tried to get away for the millionth time. Only to be greeted by another equally unattractive guy. I sighed finally, moving over to dance with some girls. It wasn't much better, but at least they weren't jumping me. I guess my sexual orientation was pretty well known around the campus.  
  
I looked around and smiled at the sight of Yunho hyung showing off his dance moves in front of Yoochun's brother. Junjin surprised me dancing quite good himself and I caught myself enjoying the sight of the two of them for a couple of moments.  
  
I snapped out of it as they disappeared from the dance floor. I went back to dancing with some girl, not even paying attention to her as I my eyes lidded, giving into the feeling of the music carrying me.  
  
I felt myself grinding against someone, but I didn't bother opening my eyes, too caught up in the music. An arm slipped around my waist, pulling me closer to the body against me and I finally felt the person in front of me wasn't a girl. Oh no, not those guys again...  
  
"Missed me much, Min?" he whispered in my ear at the same time as I opened my eyes, then pulled away a bit, looking back into my eyes.  
  
The way my nickname left his lips and the absolutely adorable, yet sexy appearance he pulled off, the way his arm felt against my waist, they way he was looking at me... Damn, he did it again. If there was one thing he was good at, that would be leaving Shim Changmin speechless.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
Dancing wasn't really my thing. Although it could release some tension, I preferred composing or just listening to the music, feeling myself sinking lower in self-pity. Yeah, I was a freak like that. Almost loving torturing himself, how sad. I was hopeless. All the frustration built up, the whole JaeJoong/Junjin/Eric thing was getting on my nerves. Why do I have to be in the middle of it all? Why do I have to be the one to suffer the most?  
  
I gave in, trying to dance the sick feeling out of my body, but it didn't really help. Nothing happened, nothing changed. All the problems stayed to hunt me in the nights to come.  
  
Eric approached me, smiling happily and I couldn't help but like him more instantly. If he only knew how much pain this situation is causing me. But it's not his fault. Just bad luck following Park Yoochun, as usual. I smiled back, shooing away my bitterness to consume me later.  
  
"Hey." He said softly, coming even closer, joining me in my dance. I simply flashed him another smile, hoping he got used to me not talking much.  
  
"You don't talk much." He stated. I guess not. I smiled shaking my head before replying.  
  
"I don't feel the need to speak that often." I reply shyly. He smiled broadly and it made me think he's satisfied he made me say something.  
  
"You express yourself through your music?" he asked then, although I knew he knew the answer.  
  
(listen to Eric's and Yoochun's theme song: DBSK - Yeowoobi)  
  
"I live my music." I nodded as he took a step forward. He intrigued me, as much as I intrigued him, I'm sure. We were only inches apart and he shyly watched me.  
  
With that song changed into a slow one and he hesitated for a moment not sure of what he should do. I bit my lips, looking away from him and made a move, surprising both of us. He stiffened as I put my hand on his shoulder and put his arms around my waist, relaxing again.  
  
We didn't speak, afraid it would be too awkward, it would ruin sudden peace we reached. I looked at him finally and the serious look on his face startled me. His eyes shone amazingly and I felt myself melt again, falling deeper. How deep can I get?  
  
I smiled slightly, my eyes traveling to my hand. I wasn't even aware of the courage I gathered, but I found it slide up slightly, from his shoulder to his neck. The feeling of his bare skin against my fingers woke me up and I looked away, stopping myself. I could feel his eyes on me, but what still surprises me the most was that I wasn't as embarrassed as I expected I would be. Especially since the idea of touching him like this, at this moment, when we barely knew each other, didn't even cross my mind.  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
Yoochun. He was everything I never expected I'd see in a guy. With every look, every gesture I felt my whole body tingle with anticipation. I wanted him. Sexually, yes, but at this point that didn't matter at all. I wanted him, I wanted to know him, to spend time with him, to feel the life with him.  
  
I felt the urge to caress his face, to make him look at me and place a kiss upon his lips. I felt the urge to do something I'd regret. So I just watched him.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
The song ended and we stopped dancing, but he didn't let go of me. Instead, he just took my hand, pulling me with him into a nearby room.  
  
I looked at him, puzzled, as he closed the door behind us and looked at me. I smiled shyly, not knowing what to expect.  
  
He came closer again, placing his hand on my neck and leaning closer.  
  
"Yoochun." He whispered leaning closer and I felt his breath on my cheek right before he placed a soft kiss on it. The softest kiss I ever received, I could barely feel it. But it was the most precious kiss anyone gave to me. He stayed like that for a second, then proceeded placing kisses along my cheek, letting each of them linger slightly longer then the previous.  
  
All the disturbing thoughts rushed back into my head triggering an awful feeling of betrayal and letting it consume my whole being. I whimpered, feeling terrible as Eric's lips came closer to my own.  
  
"Eric..." I whispered back. "... stop." And he did, right before he could kiss me. "Please stop." I said so softly I was surprised he heard me. I removed his hand gently and took a step away from him, looking away.  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
I felt like someone just punched me, suddenly, it became hard to breathe. He... he didn't want me? How could I think he liked me back? How could I not see it? Pain.  
  
"What's wrong?" I asked after what seemed like hours. He stayed silent for some time and I sighed. "It's alright if you don't like me... I... I'm sorry I rushed it all... I..." The truth was, I didn't know what to say.  
  
"I can't." he cut me off, looking at me suddenly. "I really can't."  
  
"Is it because you're not gay?" I asked confused. I didn't get what he was trying to tell me.  
  
"No, I am gay." He shook his head smirking slightly for some reason. "It's just... I can't be with you." I'm the problem? Another punch, more pain.  
  
"Why?" I must've sounded desperate at the moment, but I didn't care. His face didn't show any sign of pity though, just sadness.  
  
"I can't. You're Jae's ex." He finally said.  
  
"What?" I asked not believing.  
  
"JaeJoong is my best friend, I know you guys are not together anymore, but I can't do it, I just can't." he continued as I blinked at him.  
  
"Where did you get that from? I'm not Jae's ex, Yunho is." I replied, letting out a small chuckle.  
  
"What?" Yoochun asked in return.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
He's not Jae's ex? But... how?  
  
"Jung Yunho, my best friend and roommate, he's JaeJoong's ex-boyfriend." He repeated. I blinked, feeling my heart suddenly beat faster as I remembered the way it all started. Eric and Yunho are inseparable. Jae saw them both, but assumed it's Yunho I was talking about... The realization hit me and I felt happy. But it didn't last long. I misunderstood JaeJoong, but I certainly didn't misunderstand Junjin.  
  
"Yoochun?" Eric called me and I looked back at him. "I'm not Jae's ex." He whispered reaching my cheek to caress it again. I leaned into his touch, but shook my head.  
  
"I still can't have anything with you, I'm sorry." I whispered, at this point fighting back the tears already. One obstacle went down, but the other one... it was even stronger. How could I go against my own brother?  
  
"Yoochun..." I shivered at my name again. "... I just want you to be my friend." He sounded so desperate, it was the first time I heard him like that. He wanted me in his life and as much as I wished for it, I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't look into his eyes, but I made myself do so.  
  
"I'm sorry, Eric, I'm so sorry..." I shook my head whispering my pointless words of apology and quickly ran out of the room.  
  
Eric, you have no idea how sorry I am.


	17. Chapter 17

Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
Hyesung dragged me outside and finally stopped. I stood in front of him, not letting go of his hand as I looked at him. I was so proud. I knew he was strong, but I've never seen him do something like that.  
  
Pulling me closer, he wrapped his arms around my waist and I hugged him.  
  
"Thank you, Wannie." He said. I should thank him, I never doubted he'd defend me, we were best friends. However, I never expected this.  
  
"No... you have nothing to thank for." I said quietly. "I can't believe you did that." I chuckled.  
  
"I had to." He chuckled as well, squeezing me slightly as he snuggled into me.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I love you." I whispered, closing my eyes.  
  
"I love you too." He replied, like always.  
  
No, I love you Wannie. I really do. Can't you see it?  
  
"Let's go inside." I smiled. "I want to dance."  
  
"Okay, let's go then." He agreed smiling as he took my hand again and we went back in. Don't let me go just yet. Please...  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
He was practically clinging onto me as I leaded us to the dance floor. I stopped turning to him as we were surrounded with couples. I felt uncomfortable knowing we don't belong here, knowing he'll never see anything more then best friend in me.  
  
"Dance with me Wannie." He said as new song came up. One of his favorites. I knew everything he loved, everything he needed. I knew him too well and maybe that was the problem.  
  
I pulled him close and he wrapped his arms around me again. It felt right. In fact, it felt so right that I immediately forgot about everyone around me. There were just Sungie and me, connected through that song. If only I could block those thoughts of him never loving me the way I loved him.  
  
"Wannie?" he spoke again.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Don't let go." He said again. "Please... you're not letting go right?"  
  
"Of course not." I replied smiling. It felt good to be needed by him.  
  
"Be with me, please." He continued. "I don't want you to let go of me the whole night."  
  
"I'm not letting go Sungie."  
  
"And when we come home, stay with me. Will you stay?" I looked at him. "Stay till the morning, just... sleep in my bed and hold my hand. I need that." I didn't know what got into him, why did he need me all of a sudden. Desperately needed me.  
  
"I'll never let go."  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smirked watching him react to my question. He looked like he didn't have anything to say for a moment.  
  
"Of course I missed you." He finally replied half-sarcastically, half-seductively. At least he tried to sound sexy. I smirked again, realizing I confused him. Junsu-1:Changmin-0  
  
"I thought so." I said, stepping even closer. "You were surrounded with girls afterall." I smirked. I saw him rejecting all those guys and I didn't blame him. However I would never admit something like that to him. I would never admit he looked way too good for all of them. As for personality... I guess those guys got lucky afterall.  
  
Sliding my arm further around his waist I moved against him, dancing to the music the best I could. It looked like no one paid much attention to us and I was grateful for that. Shim Changmin and me dancing... the bare thought made me shudder. But I had to continue it.  
  
"Oh, so you were watching me." He replied putting his hand on my shoulder.  
  
"I didn't..." I started widening my eyes slightly.  
  
"You don't have to pretend Junsu." He interrupted me, moving his hand to the back of my neck, making the distance between us non-existent. "I know you want me." He whispered.  
  
"You wish." I tried to laugh, but it didn't come out quite as I imagined.  
  
"We'll see." Changmin smirked in return. I could see he was enjoying watching me like this. As much as I wanted to play it cool he was doing something to me and I was slightly worried that I won't be able to control myself. But that was just a tiny worry, not big enough to stop me now.  
  
I watched him as he continued to dance. He was good, too good for me to admit. Again. I never watched him before. Not like this. So, this surprised me. Shim Changmin, the dork, the one who annoyed the sh.it out of me, my rival who just studied and enjoyed to make my life miserable... Changmin was actually hot. The kind of a guy girls were devastated to see being gay. I was very well aware of that now. But I wasn't gay. And this was Shim Changmin afterall. How awful!  
  
Suddenly he stepped back, all the way looking at me and not stopping moving. I breathed in freely, shocked to notice I was so tensed while he was pressed against me. And just as I thought it was all finished he moved down, grabbing my legs. I looked down, startled and unhappy for my reaction. Changmin slowly went up, moving his hands up my legs, hips, sides, until he finally stood up and pulled me closer again.  
  
I swallowed slightly, feeling myself grinding against him again. He wrapped his arm around my waist now, dancing even better then before. I felt our bodies connect and move in perfect harmony, something that was hard to achieve when it came to the two of us. At least I thought so until that moment. His hand moved down and cupped my butt and I grinded harder into him, trying to avoid the unexpected touch from behind.  
  
"I didn't know you wanted it that bad." He said suddenly as a playful smirk danced on his lips.  
  
"Shut up, you know it's your fault." I replied angrily, forgetting about the whole game.  
  
"Is it?" he asked raising his eyebrow. "I'd say you're too happy to just do what I wanted you to."  
  
I stared at him as his words sank into my mind. Oh my...  
  
"You thought I won't notice it?" he whispered leaning closer to my ear. Of course, who wouldn't notice someone's hardness pressing into them? "It's quite impressive, I didn't expect it from you." His hot breath tickled me, I shivered. "I didn't expect that either. I'm turning you on so much Junsu?"  
  
By this point I closed my eyes and tried to think of all un-sexy things I could remember. It couldn't work. Not with Changmin moving against me like that. I knew he was doing it on purpose, now more then ever. I moaned, not caring about anything anymore. It felt so damn good, so I just let go.  
  
"Urgh... yes..." I whispered holding onto him, rubbing against him. "Touch me..."  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I heard him well. Maybe I went too far. But I enjoyed this so much, I couldn't stop. I watched him, he looked so sexy like that. I couldn't think that, but he was sweating, his hair sticking to his hot skin, his eyes shut and sexy sounds escaping his mouth. Even though loud music was pumping through our bodies I could hear him clearly. His whole body was aching to be touched, pleased and I almost drooled at the sight. I was losing control.  
  
"Are... are you humping me?" I asked finally regaining my voice and trying to sound as composed as possible.  
  
"Mmngh..." he replied hotly and I leaned down to kiss his neck. He leaned more into my touch, titling his head and sighing contently. I moaned in return and slipped my hand under his shirt, his hot skin turning me on even more.  
  
The song was coming to an end, so I pulled away slightly, but didn't let him go. He was clueless, still refusing to open his eyes. It looked like he shut out the world around him, focusing on his need and on his pleasure. When it ended I pulled away completely, stepping back and giving him space. Giving myself much needed space actually. He finally looked at me.  
  
"You want me." I repeated smirking. He glared.  
  
"You got turned on as well." He knew there was no point in denying anything anymore.  
  
"Junsu, baby, you know I'm gay, right?" I asked playfully. "It's not a hard thing for me to get turned on." I added. "Give me a guy who'll move the way you did just now and that's it." I lied. It wasn't really like that. I didn't want to admit it, but this was the first time I got turned on like this on the dance floor. Not to mention that Junsu was the hottest person alive for me just a couple of moments ago. Oh yes, the list of 'I'm not gonna admit it' is just getting longer.  
  
He continued to glare at me.  
  
"You, on the other hand, are not gay. That was what everybody thought until now, that is." I smirked, than glanced down. "You better find a guy who'll give you a hand with that." I added looking up at Junsu's eyes before I walked away.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
Yunho... Yoochun... Junjin... Hyesung... Dongwan... Minwoo... Minwoo is here next to me... Why? The jerk is buying me another drink... Why? I'm getting drunk. I'm already drunk. No, you're not. Yes, I am. Am I talking to myself?  
  
"You're talking to me." Minwoo's voice.  
  
"Oh, right!" I giggled. "So... Yoochun. He's a great guy, really. But liking Yunho. I mean, I don't have a problem with it. No, I'm not. Definitely not. He's my best friend."  
  
"Yunho?"  
  
"No, not Yunho, Yunho's my boooooooooooooooyfriend." I giggled again, hitting Minwoo's arm lightly. "Silly, you didn't know that?"  
  
"You broke up."  
  
"Oh... we did, didn't we?" I shook my head. "But... but... no, I'm not accepting it. Yunho's still my boyfriend." I nodded. Minwoo drank more. "Where was I?" I asked watching Minwoo's now empty glass.  
  
"Yoochun."  
  
"Yoochun... yesssss, Yoochun! My buddy." I grinned. "Well, my buddy likes my boyfriend. What to do?" I sighed putting my head on my arms, resting on the bar. "My boyfriend doesn't like me anymore." I paused, Minwoo poured me more drink. "Thanks." I said and downed it. "Junjin... your best friend. He's such a jerk. I mean, he must be, Yunho likes him."  
  
"He's not a jerk." Minwoo said calmly. "You just don't know him. And really, Yunho's not your boyfriend anymore."  
  
"Don't remind me! I know. I just..." I sighed again. "Nobody wants me anymore."  
  
"I do."  
  
"Well, I don't care about you."  
  
"Geez, thanks."  
  
"Minwoo! Hey Minwoo!" I giggled pulling him closer. "Let's daaaaaance!"  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
Talking about bipolar. He was so drunk. I wasn't far behind, but I was at least acting like my usual self. I smiled watching him get up clumsily and pulling me with him. He was adorable. Not hot, sexy, beautiful Kim JaeJoong everyone knew and liked. But sweet, adorable, even dorky BooJae. I never got to call him that. Yet.  
  
I moved against him, more holding him and keeping him from falling on his butt. He would giggle every ten seconds. Yes, giggle. He was the first guy I saw giggle and I liked that sound. I moved forward, bringing him into my arms and resting my hands on his lower back.  
  
"Minwoo..." he half-whined, half-laughed. "Let me go."  
  
"No." I replied enjoying having him in my arms like this. I moved against him and he followed me, putting his arm around my neck and resting his head on my shoulder. He was taller, but he managed to do that and still look like an innocent child compared to me.  
  
We danced like that for some time. I wanted to do so much more to him. I knew he was looking innocent, naive and child-like, but was nothing like that. I knew I could've used him then and there. He wouldn't even remember. But I couldn't.  
  
As song came to an end I gathered Jae in my arms and exited the party. He fell asleep almost instantly and I hurried to carry him home.  
  
I walked into his room. Yoochun was already sleeping, so I made sure to be extra careful and not wake up the both of them. As I put Jae down on his bed he snuggled into the pillow and continued to sleep peacefully. I watched him for a couple of moments before I exited the room and went to my own.  
  
What is happening to me?


	18. Chapter 18

Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Aaaah man..." JaeJoong woke me up. I sat up in my bed and looked at him.  
  
"What?" I asked rather rudely and glanced at the watch. Noon? Already?  
  
"Stupid head..." he continued shaking his head slightly, then bringing his hands to it, as another painful expression crossed his face.  
  
"More like stupid drink. One word Jae - hangover." I replied getting up. There was no point in going back to sleep now. Might as well help the poor guy.  
  
"I'm never gonna drink again." He whined loudly and I smirked as I entered the bathroom.  
  
"Sure..." I muttered sarcastically as I closed the door and turned to pee. After I finished my business and washed my hands I looked at the mirror. Just as I thought, not a beautiful sight. Oh well... I took a shower, brushed my teeth and shaved. Finally ready.  
  
"Seriously, this is absolutely ridiculous." Jae still whined when I walked to the closet and grabbed a pair of jeans and a clean t-shirt.  
  
"I agree." I nodded. "You better get ready." I looked at him. "Or as ready as you can be." I added making a face. I never thought this guy could be a mess, but he looked like it now. "And then we'll go for some coffee. You desperately need one."  
  
"I don't drink coffee."  
  
"You do today."  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
I woke up with a smile on my face. Inhaling deeply, I let the familiar smell fill my senses as I sighed contently and snuggled into Wannie's chest. He didn't let go of me, the whole night, just as I asked him to. That was Wannie. The only person I knew who would never let me down.  
  
His arms were around me, giving me much needed comfort and warmth. And love. Although it wasn't the kind of love I wanted to receive from him I choose to ignore it. Just today. Heck, just this morning. Let me live in illusion.  
  
I moved, hugging him tighter and slipping my leg in between his, trying to get closer to him. He moved slightly and kissed my forehead.  
  
"What are you doing?" he asked me chuckling slightly. I looked up at him, blushing.  
  
"Good morning." I said instead of a reply to his question.  
  
"Good morning." He grinned back at me. "You didn't answer my question."  
  
"I want to stay like this." I said simply.  
  
"Okay." He shrugged  
  
"Okay?" I repeated.  
  
"You're weird."  
  
"But we can still stay like this... for a bit?" I asked again. He nodded and I rested my head on his chest again.  
  
"Wannie?" I called him after a couple of minutes.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Do you remember how we used to sleepover at each other's houses?" I asked smiling.  
  
"Of course." He replied, his tone getting a happier note. "You used to cling onto me. Wow, you haven't changed at all."  
  
"Yeah, you never complained." I teased back, then looked at him. What if he really meant it? "Want me to stop clinging onto you?"  
  
"What? Sungie, no!" he said quickly and tightened his arms around me. "You can't let go of me."  
  
"Who's clinging onto who now?" I smirked. He smiled and I layed back down. "You know how we used to talk about everything, how we used to play games and not sleep at all..." I continued.  
  
"Yeah..." he smiled again.  
  
"That was the best part of my life. Those days and nights with you." I admitted. I never told him, but our childhood was the most precious thing I cherished deep inside of me. Not my childhood, but my childhood with Wannie. Only the days spent with him. Growing up. Everything. It scared me, but the happiest and the saddest moments, everything I went through - I shared them all with Dongwan.  
  
He didn't say anything. I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep, knowing that he might have done the same. Fell asleep during my talking. But as I pressed my head to his chest I could hear it. His heart working in sync with mine. Don't be a fool Hyesung.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
I don't know what happened last night. Why couldn't I do anything? Jae was there, in my arms, waiting for me to do something. Or not. But how could I? One look at him made me melt and forget everything about who I was and what I wanted to do. Especially what kind of image I intended to keep. I couldn't do it. I simply couldn't.  
  
I barely slept. What's the point Minwoo? Why are you doing this to yourself? You're not changing, you're still that old hot Lee Minwoo, the player, the heartbreaker. Nothing changed. You'll get JaeJoong. Okay, obviously not drunk. But that's even better, right? It will be all worth it. Once he becomes yours. He'll just beg for more. Just like the rest of them.  
  
But... is he like the rest of them?  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"...So, we danced a bit, then had a couple of drinks... you know, regular stuff." I continued my story. Junjin and I... well, we basically talked last night. Nothing happened. Not that I expected anything. But I wasn't happy. He kept looking around for someone and although he thinks he fooled me I know exactly who he was looking for. The one who interested him was eating his breakfast in front of me right now. Well, more like playing with it.  
  
"Hyung?" I asked waving my hand in front of Eric.  
  
"Huh?" he snapped out of it finally.  
  
"You're not listening to me." I sighed.  
  
"Sorry Yunho." He apologized and pushed his plate away from him.  
  
"Are you sick?" I asked worriedly. He was refusing food and he didn't look that well.  
  
"Well, I'm not feeling alright... but I'm okay." He said one of his famous riddle-sentences.  
  
"Okaaay." I said slowly, raising my eyebrows slightly and waited for him to continue.  
  
"I just didn't sleep well." I knew he's gonna continue. See how good I am? Well, duh, he's my best friend.  
  
"Oh..." I nodded slowly this time. Receiving information bits by bits from Eric was the most torturing part of conversation with him. Something must be seriously wrong if he's taking all this time to talk. At times like this I miss his rambling. It's a lot better when he just spills it all at once. This way I have to play along, like I'm not interesting. Or act like I understand. Or both. Like in this case. That always does the trick. I know what you think. Eric is complicated.  
  
"Yeah." Complicated indeed.  
  
"Is something bothering you?" he didn't reply. "Wanna talk about it?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Okay." I nodded and started eating again. Five... four... three... two...  
  
"Okay, okay, I'll tell you." He said rolling his eyes. I swallowed the smirk that threatened to appear on my lips and leaving my food, turned my attention to him again. "He doesn't like me."  
  
"Who? Yoochun?" He nodded. "How do you know he doesn't like you? Did he tell you?"  
  
"He doesn't have to tell me. I can tell."  
  
"Maybe you misunderstood him."  
  
"How could I misunderstand someone who refused to kiss me?" he asked, his voice full of hurt.  
  
"You... you tried to kiss him?" I asked. I was shocked, normally, Eric didn't act so fast when it came to girls. Maybe this whole gay thing changed him more then we thought. He nodded looking down. "And what did he say?" I asked carefully. I was afraid Eric will break down... or something. This was all new to me, I didn't know what kind of reaction to expect from him.  
  
"He said he couldn't." Eric continued. "At first he used me being Jae's boyfriend as an excuse. But since I..."  
  
"Woah, wait! Jae's boyfriend?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah, he actually thought I was you." He smirked. "It's a funny story."  
  
"How could he think so?" I asked utterly confused. People mixed the two of us that easily? I don't think so.  
  
"JaeJoong is his roommate... I assume Yoochun showed me to him, but since we're always together..."  
  
"That is funny." I chuckled.  
  
"I know." He smiled as well. Oh, you thought you're gonna get away with that?  
  
"Okay, back to the story. You explained him you're not me... and?"  
  
"Well, then... I don't know, he just said he couldn't do it and that's it." He finished, sighed and buried his head in his hands. "You know how much I like him."  
  
"Yeah, I know. If I didn't know before I know now. I mean, you trying to kiss him so soon... it's not really something Eric I know would do." I said truthfully.  
  
"You think I rushed it?" he asked. "I thought so too... Man, I can really be stupid sometimes."  
  
"You're not stupid, I don't hang out with stupid people." I tried to cheer him up.  
  
"Great, now I'm making you stupid too!" he rolled his eyes.  
  
"What?" I made a face.  
  
"Well, you are stupid for not knowing that your best friend is stupid when you're not hanging out with stupid people." he explained like I was a little kid who didn't get something that was the most normal thing possible.  
  
"Thanks for calling me stupid, stupid." I replied rolling my eyes as well.  
  
"You asked for it, stupid." He replied crossing his arms. I started laughing. He did too.  
  
"We said stupid too many times. It doesn't even make sense anymore." He said after we calmed down.  
  
"Yoochun's stupid." I concluded.  
  
"Nah, I just rushed it... didn't pick the right time. You know..." he shrugged. But I could tell he was feeling better already.  
  
"You're okay?"  
  
"Yeah." He nodded. "I'll just... find a different way to approach him. Become friends, win his heart, become his prince..."  
  
"Don't push it." I laughed. "Dork."  
  
"Wait till he meets Marshy. He'll be head over heels in love with me!" he put his daydreaming look on.  
  
"Yeah, sure. If Marshy doesn't win him over, nothing will." I nodded seriously.  
  
"I know!" he replied and laughed. "Unless he doesn't like her."  
  
"How is that even possible?" I continued, trying to stay serious. "I mean, it's Marshmallow, the queen of dogs."  
  
"I know, but there is a possibility he won't like her." He said frowning again.  
  
"Well, you don't need him then."  
  
"But I do..." Oh man... here we go again.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I woke up first. Thank god. I looked over at Junsu's bed. The jerk was sleeping like a baby. Unwillingly, I got up, walked over to him and smiled, watching him for a moment... or more. When I finally realized what I was doing I ran to the bathroom and got ready as quickly as possible. In half an hour I already disappeared from the room.  
  
I took a walk to Heechul's, thinking about last night. I went too far, I knew I did. But I won that battle in the end, so it was all good. If only it didn't have such an effect on me...  
  
As I stepped into the café emptiness of the place surprised me, but then again, it wasn't that strange for 10 o'clock on a Sunday morning. Not to mention after a party as big as the last night one was. Actually, it was a bigger surprise that Heechul worked today. But I guess he expected me.  
  
"Took you long enough." He said walking behind the bar and startling me slightly. "Did you get any sleep?"  
  
"I did." I replied walking up to him.  
  
"I'm surprised." He said, a small smirk appearing on his lips. "After last night..."  
  
"Shut up and give me that coffee." I growled, but smiled nonetheless.  
  
"Min, I thought that's why you came today. That's why I've been waiting for you." Heechul replied, pouring me my coffee.  
  
"Thanks." I muttered, smelling it in satisfaction and then nodded. "I knew you will."  
  
"If you're expecting money you'll have to try harder though."  
  
"What? Why?" I whined. "I thought that was enough... everybody were there too. Plus, you saw everything."  
  
"Did I?" Heechul asked thinking about it slightly. "It's still not enough. How can I be sure?"  
  
"How can you?" I asked as well.  
  
"Seeing is not enough, I have to hear it."  
  
"You're kidding me." I shook my head. "Keep your money, I'm leaving." I stood up.  
  
"You're backing out of it? But that means I won." Heechul called after me. "That's not something Shim Changmin would do."  
  
"Changmin, don't give up. You can do it." Donghae called me as well. I turned around.  
  
"I can. But what if I don't want to?"  
  
"Come here." Donghae motioned for me to come back and I did. I sat down, taking a sip of my coffee again.  
  
"You're afraid, aren't you?" Heechul smirked.  
  
"No, I'm not." I lied. Of course I was afraid. I was taking a risk. I rarely did it like this.  
  
"Heechul, stop." Donghae said to his boyfriend. They exchanged looks that could only mean 'he's lying, but let him be'. Besides, they wanted it. They didn't want me to admit it. Winning should be well-deserved. I didn't want to give it to them now.  
  
"Come on, Min, it'll be fun." Donghae added. Heechul knew me too well and now he got his boyfriend into this whole thing. Two against one. Totally unfair, but does the trick.  
  
I raised my eyebrow and smirked. It will be fun... of course.  
  
"Wanna bet?"


	19. Chapter 19

JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"So, did something interesting happen last night?" I asked as I took a sip of my coffee. My head was hurting like hell, but I was anxious to hear if I missed something. I was sure I did.  
  
"Yeah, well... I found out we had a misunderstanding." Yoochun replied.  
  
"Misunderstanding?" I asked again, furrowing my brows in confusion.  
  
"Yeah. Yunho's your ex, right?"  
  
"Yeah." I cringed at the mention of his name and looked down.  
  
"Well, I don't like him." I looked back up at him. "I like Eric."  
  
"And they're always together..." I said nodding. Of course.  
  
"Yeah." He smiled. "You get it now?"  
  
"I'm sorry Yoochunah." I apologized. "I'm so stupid. I thought..."  
  
"You still love him?"  
  
"Well... no." my own words surprised me. "I mean... I guess I'm just still hurt he left me. I love him, he still means so much to me... but I don't love love him. You know..." I trailed off. Yoochun just nodded. I was confusing myself sometimes, but he understood what I meant to say. I really didn't love Yunho, I understood him. Besides a lot of time passed and I could finally understand my feelings. I guess one drunken night was enough for me to realize them. Ironically. "So... Eric, huh?" I smiled for the first time in the last couple of days. Those were some good news.  
  
"Yeah." Yoochun suddenly didn't look so happy.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"He... made a move."  
  
"He did?" I was shocked. Eric wasn't the most open person when it came to relationships. In fact I was pretty sure he didn't have one yet. Some one night stands maybe. He was the stud afterall, girls were crazy about him, his dorky charm could get any of them. I knew girls were the ones who'd make the first move in Eric's case. He was like an innocent child not being able to refuse any of the hotties coming onto him. Knowing all that, this sounded like such a drastic change. He must've liked Yoochun very much to do something like that.  
  
"I felt dumb for thinking he was your ex. He was so adorable right then, when he realized my mistake." Yoochun continued, laughing slightly. "But then I had to reject him again."  
  
"But why? You like him so much, I can see it." I said, not understanding what was going on in Yoochun's head.  
  
"I had to. I promised Junjin." He sighed.  
  
"What?"  
  
"He likes him too." He buried his head in his hands then. "And going against my brother... That's something I'll never do."  
  
I sighed, watching him sadly. Yoochun was such a wonderful person, I knew it from the moment we met. That's why I loved being his roommate, being his friend. I also noticed that even though we knew each other for such a short time he was much closer to me then to his brother. That's why I had to wonder... Yoochunah... would Junjin do the same thing for you?  
  
  
JunJin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I ran through the halls. Thank you Minwoo for waking me up. I rarely overslept. I liked to wake up earlier in order to go through my daily morning routine of making myself look perfect. Not that I needed it, but taking care of my looks was something I highly enjoyed in. However, today was different. I was so late.  
  
I ran into the classroom, happy that professor didn't turn up yet, then stopped, straightening myself and calmly walked to my usual seat. I took out the stuff I needed for class, then turned my head to Hyesung and JaeJoong, greeting them.  
  
"Hey." Hyesung said giving me a small smile. JaeJoong just nodded and went back to examining the photos in front of him.  
  
"What do you have there, Jae?" I asked looking over his shoulder.  
  
"Oh... just pictures from the party. Heechul gave them to me." He replied, handing me some. I looked at them. Interesting indeed.  
  
"Can I take a couple?" I asked, seeing something that I wanted to keep.  
  
"Sure." Jae shrugged as he stared at one photo, with quite shocked expression.  
  
"Thanks." I replied placing them in my bag right before the teacher came in.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Guys, I was thinking..." Dongwan started and I looked up at him. "... we should start practicing as soon as possible. We have like... a little bit more then one month left till the winter holidays and I want to start filming once we come back from it. Now, you know that I'm not one of those boring directors/screenwriters that requires going through lines with his actors before filming, but this is different."  
  
"We know Wannie." Eric nodded.  
  
"And we understand." I added.  
  
"And we're willing to do it, to put more of ourselves into this." Eric continued. "Plus, I think we need help with getting into the characters. I know I could use all the help you can offer."  
  
"Oh we know that too." I nodded laughing. Eric playing Hyesung. Now that's gonna be fun.  
  
"Great! Thanks guys." Dongwan grinned at us. "I'm almost done with the script. I just need to make a couple of small changes here and there. We can start working on it right away if you want."  
  
"You're anxious to do this." Eric smiled.  
  
"Of course, aren't you?" his face literally fell.  
  
"We are, Wannie, this is gonna be the best thing we could ever do for you. We can't wait to start." I smiled patting his hand and loving the way his face lit up again. This was huge, this meant so much. Just seeing him get like this was worth it all. I couldn't imagine what it will be like when Hyesung finally sees the product of our work. I really couldn't wait.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Get it right, damnit!" the idiot screamed at me.  
  
"Shut up, jerk, or I'll never get it right." I growled at him and turned my back to him, starting singing again. My voice cracked in the middle of second line.  
  
"You're hopeless." He said with what sounded like 'oh so desperate' voice.  
  
"And you're Mr. Perfect." I replied turning around. He enjoyed to pi$$ me off. Okay, that wasn't anything new.  
  
"Of course, why can't you be like me?" he asked.  
  
"Like you? You mean, sexually frustrated gay with bad sense of humor?" I laughed. "No thanks."  
  
"Sexually frustrated? Man, you wish you could do me, people are standing in line to get it on with me." He smirked. "And that bad sense of humor... you enjoy it."  
  
"You wish. And those people who want to do you are either blind, dumb or pathetic." I scoffed.  
  
"That's why I don't sleep with them." He said more to himself.  
  
"See, you admit it yourself." I laughed.  
  
"It was a joke." He blushed, but then smirked, trying to cover it up.  
  
"As I said, lame one." I played along.  
  
"You should lose some weight." He said then, eyeing me up and down.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Your butt is taking too much space in our already small room." He stated looking at my @ss openly.  
  
"Don't stare at my butt perv."  
  
"Why? I can't even look at anything else, everywhere I look it's your butt I see." He said making a face.  
  
"And you like, have some problem with it." I smirked. "Perverted fag. You're so full of sh.it. Sexual harassment again."  
  
"Why can't you be more like me? Wouldn't it be better to have this sexy body of mine?" he asked posing ridiculously. I laughed.  
  
"Yeah, what part exactly do you find sexy?"  
  
"You tell me." He added and stepped forward, closing the distance between us. I felt him grinding against me again. It must have been my imagination though since it looked like he didn't move an inch, he was just standing pressed against me. And I didn't dare to move, I just glared right back at him.  
  
"Get away from me." I growled.  
  
"Why? You don't want to touch that especially sexy part of my body? It's not like you haven't done it before." He smirked.  
  
"You filthy..." I trailed off as he interrupted.  
  
"No? Maybe I should..."  
  
"You're not..." Oh yes he did.  
  
"Just as I thought. Too big." He said as he squeezed my precious butt. Third most precious part of Kim Junsu's body. And he dared to touch it.  
  
He stepped back finally.  
  
"Lose some weight." He said nonchalantly, then knowing I didn't have much to say, added: "Now, let's continue." And he started to sing his part. As perfectly as ever.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Woah, look where you're going!" I said as someone ran into me. I looked up. Jae.  
  
"Sorry..." he replied looking up at me. "Oh Minwoo... hi." He said giving me a small, nervous smile.  
  
"Jae..." I smiled flirtatiously. "What's up babe?"  
  
"Don't call me that... jerk." He said trying to glare at me, but blushed so much. I never saw him blush, the way his expression changed from calm to nervously adorable made me smile.  
  
"But Jae..." I played along as always.  
  
"I don't have time for you."  
  
"You never do." I replied.  
  
"Exactly!" he muttered as he ran away quickly.  
  
I sighed. What was that all about?  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yoochun!" Jae yelled running up to me. I turned around.  
  
"Hey Jae! What's up?" I asked smiling at him.  
  
"This!" he said showing me a photo he had in his hand. I took it and looked, quite shocked.  
  
"Jae, you didn't tell me..." I started, but then realized. "Oh man..."  
  
"How could I get so drunk?" he shook his head sitting down on a nearby bench. I followed, still staring at the pic. JaeJoong and Minwoo dancing, Jae's head resting on Minwoo's shoulder in a comfortable position as his face showed a satisfied smile. He looked like he could die happy any moment now. Minwoo embraced him, but it wasn't one of the usually perverted moves Minwoo could pull off with some of his bit.ches. I was speechless.  
  
"He got me drunk." Jae said. "I'm sure he did."  
  
"Jae..."  
  
"Oh god, what if he raped me?" he asked suddenly. "What if..." he looked like he was about to cry.  
  
"Woah, stop Jae. Minwoo might be a bastard and all, but I don't think he'd rape you. Plus, he's still after you, he didn't say a thing. Don't you think he'd be all 'I got it on with Kim JaeJoong' like? The whole campus would know by now." I reasoned. I highly doubted he'd step that low and rape a drunken guy.  
  
"You think they know?" he panicked again.  
  
"Stop! Calm down and breathe! No one knows because it didn't happen." I said putting my hands on his shoulders and looking into his eyes. "Nothing happened. You got drunk, danced a bit with him and that was it." I said hoping that really was it. He stayed silent as if thinking about it. Then he nodded.  
  
"But how did I get home?" he asked suddenly. I didn't know answer to that. I was already sleeping.  
  
"I don't know. Someone must have helped you." I said the only logical thing.  
  
"Could it be?" he started, but both of us shook heads. Minwoo carrying him home not trying to do anything? That was absolutely impossible.  
  
"Are you okay?" I asked.  
  
"Yes." He replied sighing as if some huge weight was removed from his shoulders. "Thanks man." I smiled. "I have to go now." I nodded. "I'll see you later."  
  
He left and I stayed thinking about it all. Lee Minwoo was quite a riddle. In classes he was a great guy, great musician with great ideas and fun to hang out with. On parties he was a beast, hunting innocent boys and corrupting them. Around Jae he looked like no one else existed, he was playing, trying to win him over and not giving up. That photo though... I didn't know what to think. But there was certainly more to Lee Minwoo then any of us knew.  
  
As I was thinking about Minwoo someone appeared in front of me.  
  
"Jin?" I asked looking up at him and stood up. He looked back at me. His dangerous look. What did I do? He handed me a photo.  
  
"Dare to explain this to me?"


	20. Chapter 20

JunJin's P.O.V.  
  
  
He was looking at the picture I practically threw at him. I was fuming inside, but I was hoping he had a logical explanation for it. My brother couldn't be after Eric. He couldn't betray me. Not after I clearly said that Eric is mine. Mine!  
  
"Well?" I asked after a couple of moments. He remained silent and it was pi$$ing me off.  
  
"We were just dancing." He said simply, returning me the photo.  
  
"I don't need it." I said making a disgusted face and not taking the picture. I didn't want to see it again. "And I don't believe you."  
  
You wouldn't believe him either if you saw it. They were dancing alright. But not 'just dancing' as he put it. They were in each other's arms, looking at each other... so... so... lovingly. God, I can't believe I said it. Eric, that sexy, wonderful creature I planned to seduce, and my brother. My little shy brother who suddenly turned gay. I wanted to kill Yoochun. I wanted to hunt him down and have my peace of mind with him the whole day and now I finally got him. Oh, we're gonna talk Chunnie. I am gonna talk and you're gonna listen, just like a small, well-behaving brother you are. Okay, he's not like that really, but he's gonna become. Once I finish with him.  
  
"Believe what you want." He said simply. "And thanks for the picture." He added putting it in one of his books.  
  
"You know Eric is mine." I said coldly.  
  
"You sound so immature." Yoochun replied. "He's not your property."  
  
"Yet." I corrected him.  
  
"He never will be. He's a person of his own, you can't possess him." He smirked.  
  
"But you can?" I asked. He was making me angry.  
  
"We were just dancing." He laughed. "Since when is it forbidden? You too were dancing with Yunho."  
  
"Not like that." I pointed at his book where he hid the photo.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like... like you're gonna get it on right there on the dance floor." I let it out finally. It hurt me to say it, but he asked for it. "I haven't seen the two of you the whole night anyway. I had no idea what you were doing. I had no idea you were going behind my back."  
  
"You've been watching me? You've been watching Eric? Jin, you became so paranoid, what the hell is wrong with you?"  
  
"I'm asking myself the same thing about you." I continued. "How could you? I asked you if you liked him, I asked you and you said 'no'. I told you I'm gonna make him mine. I want him. And that means that no one else can have him. You know me Yoochun." I growled.  
  
"I do know you. But you obviously don't know me." He replied and walked away from me.  
  
"How dare you walk away from me?" I yelled after him. "I'm your brother! Yoochun! We're not finished yet!"  
  
Oh, we're certainly not finished. You think you fooled me?  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into my room. What the hell is with everybody and their pictures? I can't believe he found out. I can't believe he actually saw right through me. And to think that I was so close to giving in to Eric. Jin, please forgive me...  
  
"Yoochun, what's wrong?" Jae asked as he saw me leaning against the door of our room. I slid down and sighed, then thought about everything and felt myself wanting to cry. "Yoochunah?" he called me again, sitting down next to me. I managed to upset him as well. Great!  
  
I sniffed and handed Jae a picture of me and Eric. He looked at it confused, then back at me.  
  
"Junjin gave it to me." I whispered and started to cry. "We had a fight."  
  
JaeJoong embraced me, trying to comfort me. I felt so devastated, so hurt and so thankful for a true friend who knew how to give me something I needed the most.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You bastard! Wake up! Wake up jerk!" Junsu's voice. Great!  
  
"Good morning to you too." I said as he stopped trying to strangle me.  
  
"It's not morning idiot. And it certainly isn't good for you." He replied. I raised my eyebrow waiting for more information. "Look what you did!" he added hitting me with a peace of paper. Photo?  
  
I looked at it and bit my lower lip, trying not to laugh. Junsu and I were in such a compromising position. Good job Heechul.  
  
"Don't laugh! It's all your fault." He said sitting down on his bed.  
  
"That's just one picture." I said rolling my eyes.  
  
"You think? There's more of them idiot!" he yelled again. I put my hands over my ears. I'll go deaf because of the jerk. My poor sexy ears.  
  
"Stop screaming. And do show, please." I smiled cheesily. He threw the rest of the pictures at me. I picked them up and looked. All sexy poses, we did look hot together. No wonder Heechul wants to see how this'll gonna end. Donghae too. I began to laugh. "Well, at least we turned out just fine. I'm so sexy." I said smiling broadly.  
  
Junsu jumped up from his bed and rushed to strangle me again.  
  
"Oooh baby, I didn't know you like those kind of games." I said holding his hands and winking up at him. "If you wanted to be on top..."  
  
"I just had to ask, I know." He finished. "Your comments are lame...-er then usual. But what did I expect?"  
  
"Oh, so you did expect something."  
  
"I expect you to take care of that." He said standing back up. "And you better do it good."  
  
"Or?"  
  
"You don't want to find out." He replied and went out. Junsu's way of coolly exiting.  
  
Maybe I do, Junsu.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
Painting has never been a difficult task. But now, as I discovered my more-then-friendly love for Wannie, I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. And at the moment he was writing something. His script probably. I pretended to work, but my eyes were on him.  
  
"You want something Sungie?" he asked suddenly, not looking up from his work.  
  
"N-no." I stuttered, quickly looking back at canvas in front of me. Still blank.  
  
"You keep looking at me. Is something wrong?" he asked again, putting down his pen and standing up.  
  
"No... I just don't really know what to paint." I lied.  
  
"I thought you were supposed to paint that." He said pointing to the bowl of fruits in front of me.  
  
"Oh... well, I... I changed my mind." I'm so bad at lying. Always have been.  
  
"Oh..." he just said, nodding slightly. He took his papers and put them in his bag, then moved across the room and put out some stuff from the closet.  
  
"Are you going somewhere?" I asked watching him walking to his bed and putting pants and a shirt on it, before taking off his t-shirt.  
  
"Yeah, I'm meeting Yunho and Eric." He replied, getting dressed.  
  
"Oooh, about the movie?" I asked turning in my chair in an 'I'm interested and you better spill it already' manner.  
  
"Yeah, about the movie." He replied turning to me and smiling. "Don't look at me like that, you know I won't tell you a thing."  
  
"You're no fun!" I whined.  
  
"I don't care, you knew perfectly well from the beginning that you'll have to find out by yourself and that means you have to wait for another couple of months." He replied walking up to me.  
  
"But that's so not fair, I'm your best friend. You always shared everything with me. Especially something this important."  
  
"Stop whining, it's not gonna help you." He chuckled, leaning down and hugging me. "I'm off Sungie."  
  
"Yeah, yeah..." I replied inhaling his masculine scent and smiling like a teenage girl in love. As we parted I managed to regain my pouting face, but he smiled, making me break down and smile back. He grinned then, grabbed his coat and walked out. I could finally concentrate on that... fruit? Oh man...  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"And then he ran out of the room. You know, Junsu style..." Changmin finished. I laughed hard.  
  
"You guys are crazy!" I managed to say.  
  
"When are you going to stop playing with him?" Eric asked.  
  
"I don't plan to stop." Minnie replied.  
  
"You're just gonna get hurt. Both of you. But I'm afraid you'll be hurt more. Unlike you he's not gay." Eric continued. He had a point.  
  
"You mean, he's not gay yet." Changmin corrected him.  
  
"You're definitely up to something." I said slowly. Minnie's mind was a dangerous place. What that kid had in his mind no one knew, but it was certain that he could do whatever he wanted to. Once Shim Changmin decides something... nothing can stop him. We learned that ages ago. He has always been like that. Never giving up.  
  
"You think?" He gave us a playful, but innocent smile. Only he could pull off a look like that. I was amazed with the kid more and more every time we got to talk to him.  
  
These days it wasn't as often since he had so much stuff to do. Ironically, with Kim Junsu. I began to wonder if he enjoyed it. That's why Eric was right. He was risking too much here. Junsu just wasn't the guy who'd respond to Minnie if there was something to respond to. Both Eric and I feared that there will be something going on considering that in near future. And it worried us. Our Changmin couldn't get hurt. He mustn't.  
  
But we knew that nothing we say or do could stop him from doing what he wanted. As I said, he has always been like this. He'd listen to our opinion, be a good boy, pretending that we knew the best. And then continue with his own decisions. Stubborn little brat indeed. But we loved him endlessly.  
  
"Just be careful." I said and he gave me one of his knowing smiles. 'Of course I will be... but I'll still do my thing...' – that's what it meant.  
  
"Oh shoot..." Eric suddenly said, grabbing the phone and dealing some number. Changmin and I just looked at each other and shrugged, but then I heard Eric talking to his cousin. I smiled.  
  
"He has to call once a day, to check up on Marshy." I explained and Changmin nodded understanding perfectly.  
  
"What do you mean you nearly lost her?" he screamed into the phone. "Listen, she better be there when I come back home. You think you could last that long or should I come right away?"  
  
I started to wave my hands 'no' in a panicked way. Knowing Eric he would just bring her here. Hyesung said he could arrange it for him and I knew he would be more then happy with that arrangement. Don't get me wrong, I loved Marshmallow, but there was no room for a dog here. Absolutely not. Eric chose to glare at me and turn his back, continuing his conversation.  
  
"Just don't let anything like that happen again. I can't believe I'm trusting you on this. Do you have any idea how much she means to me?"  
  
"He speaks of her as if she was his girlfriend or something." Changmin whispered chuckling and I nodded laughing as well.  
  
"Wait a minute." Eric said and turned to us. "Shut up, I can't talk." We nodded like obedient children and continued our eavesdropping. "Okay, now be so kind and hand over the phone to Marshy. Yes, give her the damn phone."  
  
"He didn't just ask her to put Marshmallow on the phone?" Changmin asked, cracking up next to me.  
  
"Oh yes, he did." I nodded. That did happen once in a while.  
  
"Marshy!!! Baby are you alright? I'll come home as soon as possible, I promise. Do you miss me?... What? Oh yes, you do!!!! Daddy misses you sooo much. I have so much to tell you about! I can't wait for our long walks and chats. You know baby? Oh and you have to meet this great guy... yeah, I turned gay. How weird, huh? But girl, you'll see him, he's the hottest guy you ever saw... Yeah, okay, I know that new dog you started to hang out with is hotter... Hey! He better behave himself while I'm away. When I come we'll talk about that... relationship of yours. Okay?... Okay. I love you baby!" Eric cooed over the phone with his dog.  
  
"I can't believe what I just heard." Min was on the floor already, laughing so hard. Eric put down the phone and glared at him.  
  
"You better believe it. I experience it too much already." I replied, grinning at Eric.  
  
"Ha ha" Eric imitated Changmin. "Oh, it's so funny. My poor baby is all alone, she needs to hear me."  
  
"I thought she had a boyfriend." I managed to stay serious, thinking about his conversation. Min however continued to laugh.  
  
"Yeah, some player. Minwoo type, you know. I need to talk to him when we get home. First thing on my list." He nodded.  
  
"I swear you're not normal." Changmin said.  
  
"But did you hear, she can't wait to meet Yoochun. Oh, he's so gonna love her."  
  
"We went through that, Eric." I said, remembering one of many ridiculous conversations we had.  
  
"I know, but Min didn't hear."  
  
"Hear what?" Changmin asked although I shook my head like a lunatic.  
  
"Oh no, don't start again!" I whined, still shaking my head, but it was already too late. Eric and his dog... Endless story...


	21. Chapter 21

Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
We were on our way to our classes. It was weird walking with Junsu, but I wanted to do it, just to enjoy being the centre of attention. I'd usually hate it, Junsu was the one who was a fan of it. Always in the spotlight. Today was different though.  
  
Heechul was good, spreading those photos so fast, practically covering the whole campus with them. If Junsu wanted to keep it a secret this battle was definitely mine.  
  
"Will you stop following me?" he said looking around at all the people staring at us.  
  
"But Junsu baby, we have the same classes." I replied and casually put my arm around his shoulder. "Besides, everyone already know about us, why hiding it?" I moved closer to him in an intimate manner, as girls on our right side started whispering all over again.  
  
"Shut up jerk and move if you wanna stay in one piece." He said through gritted teeth.  
  
"Now, now, you wouldn't get violent with your... boyfriend." I said stressing out word 'boyfriend'. I hated using it with Junsu. "Especially in front of all these people."  
  
"Watch me." He said.  
  
"Hey, isn't that the girl you ran away from on the party? I think you came to me right after her." I said pointing at the girl, who was now looking at us, just like the rest of the school. Junsu suddenly turned very pale and I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from asking him if he was alright. He slowed down slightly, obviously forgetting about me, while I looked back at the girl as we approached her.  
  
"Well, well, isn't that Mr Fag with his new boyfriend?" she asked mockingly and Junsu stopped in front of her. I followed.  
  
"It's not what it looks like." He muttered, obviously embarrassed.  
  
"Running away from me. I mean, me! And for who? For Shim Changmin here." She said my name with such disgust, looking me up and down. If she wasn't a girl I'd hit her. "I couldn't understand what got into you suddenly, but now it's all clear. How gay of you to pretend you like girls!" She was causing a scene and again, we were the centre of attention.  
  
"Listen bit.ch..." I interrupted her. I couldn't take it anymore. "If he ran away from you, then you are the reason. As much as Junsu looks gay these days he..." I looked at Junsu, who was looking back at me, surprised that I decided to speak. "... he isn't. I am gay, but I'm just his roommate. That's it. However, he was smart enough to leave you and come dance with me that night." I smirked as I finished, leaving her speechless, but fuming.  
  
The crowd still stared at us and I walked away from them, pulling Junsu with me. He didn't say a thing and I acted like nothing happened. That bit.ch made me feel bad for doing this to Junsu. Letting it all out made it all better. We reached our classroom in silence.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
My last class finished and everyone flied out of the classroom, leaving me behind as I had to talk to professor. When I finally finished someone waited for me in front of the classroom.  
  
"Hey!" Junjin greeted me.  
  
"Hey." I smiled broadly and started walking next to him.  
  
"Aren't you going to wait for Eric?" He asked then. I frowned slightly.  
  
"He already left." I replied. "You wanted to talk to him?"  
  
"No, no... I was just thinking... we could all hang out together." Jin said smiling. I could tell he was disappointed.  
  
"Yeah, maybe some other time." I replied. "Wanna go for a coffee with me instead?"  
  
"Sure." He genuinely smiled, making me all warm inside. Maybe there is hope.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hey Heechul!" I smiled walking into the café.  
  
"Sungie! Hi!" he replied. "You met Donghae, right?" he asked hugging his boyfriend.  
  
"Of course." I nodded. What a beautiful couple. Pretty boys. Well, Heechul was prettier and I wasn't saying that just because he was my friend.  
  
"How have you been, Hyesung?" Donghae asked me.  
  
"Great! Just great!" I replied happily.  
  
"We saw what happened with Minwoo." Heechul chuckled.  
  
"Well, who didn't?" I replied, smiling slightly. "Yeah, I buried him once and for all. Thank god." Heechul nodded.  
  
"You'll find a nice guy, I'm sure." Donghae said.  
  
"Oh, he already has a nice guy." Heechul said, winking at me. I raised my eyebrow. "Handsome, smart boy who's deeply in love with our dear Hyesung and although, Sungie doesn't want to admit it he's not that indifferent to him either."  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" I laughed. Slightly nervously.  
  
"You know damn well. Don't pretend now."  
  
"Shut up and give me a cup of tea." I said quickly. "And there's nothing between me and Wannie. He's my best friend and I'm his and that's it."  
  
"My dear Hyesung, I haven't even said it's Wannie I'm talking about." Heechul said innocently. "You said it yourself."  
  
"There must be something." Donghae nodded.  
  
"Shut up." I said blushing and took a sip of my hot tea, regretting it instantly. "Damnit." I cursed under my breath.  
  
"Careful now." Heechul continued. "I don't want to get stabbed for hurting your tongue. I have to ask Wannie what wonders can it do."  
  
"Oooh baby, wanna learn some new stuff?" Donghae purred, kissing his boyfriend.  
  
"You guys are sick." I laughed shaking my head, but happy they moved from 'Sungie and Wannie' topic.  
  
"More like horny." Jae said chuckling and sitting across from me.  
  
"Jae!" I smiled broadly, happy to see my friend finally here. I didn't want to stay alone with two turned on perverts.  
  
"How are you Sungie?" he asked as Donghae and Heechul disappeared in the back room. I didn't want to think about what they were doing.  
  
"I'm great! You?" I repeated what I said to Donghae.  
  
"I'm okay." He nodded and smiled. "Actually, I can finally say I'm over Yunho."  
  
"Yeah?" I smiled back at him. Those were good news.  
  
"Yeah. I also found out Yoochun doesn't like him, he likes Eric. But that's a secret." He quickly said, in a small voice. I nodded. Of course I wasn't planning to tell anyone. Jae and I were gossiping only among ourselves. "I, on the other hand, still love him, but just as a friend and I'm happy I finally can say it without having any doubts." He finished.  
  
"That's awesome, Jae! I was worried about you." I said.  
  
"Thanks. But I just needed some time." He replied, then sipped his soda. He sighed. "Have you seen the pictures?" I furrowed my brows, trying to remember what pictures he was talking about.  
  
"Yours and Minwoo's?" I asked finally. He nodded. "Yeah, I did. What is that all about?"  
  
"I was drunk." He said looking down. "I can't believe I was dancing with him like that."  
  
"I'm sure nothing happened." I said. I didn't care about Minwoo anymore, I was just worried he'll hurt JaeJoong. "Just... be careful. You know him."  
  
"I know." He nodded, biting his lip. "I just keep wondering though. You know Sungie... On those pictures I looked so... happy." He finished in a whisper. I could tell it was bothering him so much.  
  
"Just... be careful." I repeated. That's the way it goes with Minwoo. I went through that. I hoped JaeJoong won't end up like me.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You guys... today's practice wasn't as bad as usually. You're getting along better, huh?" Yoochun said, biting his lower lip and smiling cheesily.  
  
"Take that nasty smirk off, Yoochun!" I said rolling my eyes.  
  
"Of course we're not getting along any better." Changmin replied. "Don't you think you're asking too much from us?" he asked packing his things.  
  
"Not at all. I bet you're gonna become best friends till the end of the year." Yoochun continued as-a-matter-of-factly.  
  
"Yeah..." Changmin rolled his eyes.  
  
"Dream on." I added and Changmin and I exited the classroom. Yoochun stayed to work on his new song. It already became a rule. Three of us working after classes, then Yoochun staying behind to work on his music.  
  
Walking in silence. Again. Things were slightly uncomfortable since this morning. Changmin and I haven't talked about it at all, the only things we talked about for the whole day was music. Surprisingly, our singing practice today went without fight and I actually felt good. The day went on so smoothly. It was weird.  
  
We walked into our room. Spending the whole day with Shim Changmin was also weird, I haven't thought about it before. But then again, I didn't have time to think about it with all the arguing going on every day. Besides, today was the first day we actually didn't separate. Waking up, going to classes together, practicing together after school, now coming back home. There really wasn't a time that I was separated from Changmin the whole day today. And the most surprising part was that I didn't mind his presence at all. Did I get used to him so much? Scary thought.  
  
"I'm going to shower first." Changmin said and I just nodded. He walked into the bathroom and I busied myself with some assignment we had. I couldn't concentrate, the thought of running into that girl today and Changmin saying all those things to her kept invading my mind. I sighed, closing my book and burying my head into my hands.  
  
"Are you alright?" Changmin's voice made me look up. I looked at him weirdly, he never said anything close to kind words before. "I mean... what the hell is wrong with you?" he tried to cover it, but it was such a lame attempt and he knew it. I started laughing and he looked away, embarrassed.  
  
"Sorry." I said calming down. He didn't reply, so I just swallowed and continued. "Thank you, Min."  
  
He quickly looked back at me, a look of surprise plastered on his face.  
  
"What for?"  
  
"That... today..." I said, feeling no need to explain it. "You didn't have to do that."  
  
"It was the right thing to do." He replied simply. "I need to apologize for not taking care of it in the first place... I had no idea it would lead to that."  
  
"No, it's okay." I said just to say something. He surprised me so much today.  
  
"Plus, she has no right to scream at you, insult you." He continued. "Only I'm allowed to do that." He added, smirking and winking at me. I smiled.  
  
Changmin made my day. Again. Just like that.  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched Junjin and Yunho walk out of the building. I smiled at my plan. Yunho liked the guy so much, everyone could clearly see that. But he needed a bit of a help. And me hanging out with him all the time, being by his side 24/7 wasn't gonna do anything. I'm giving you a bit of a space my best friend. Besides, I have stuff to do anyway.  
  
Looking around, as if trying to pass unseen, I slowly walked into the part of the building reserved for music classes. Most of the classes were finished by this time, but there was a lot of students practicing around and I had to be careful. For some reason I didn't want to be seen. Changmin told me him, Junsu and Yoochun practiced every day till 5 pm. I hid, watching the two of them exit one of the classrooms, leaving it open. I waited for them to walk away, before I stepped closer to the door and looked inside.  
  
Just as Changmin told me, Yoochun stayed after their practice. He was sitting down, near the piano, sheets of music and a pencil in front of him. He looked even more handsome then I imagined he'd be. Piano was placed sideways looking from the door, so I could clearly see his face. He watched the notes in front of him for a moment, looking doubtful as if wondering if it was good enough. And then he started playing.  
  
(Listen to Yoochun's theme song: DBSK - Jigeum Cheoreom (Piano Version))  
  
As his fingers touched keys I felt my heart flutter in excitement. As his voice traveled to my ears I fought the urge to walk up to him and embrace him. Like I wanted for already such a long time. I wanted to kiss him the way I kissed him that night. And do more then that. I wanted him.  
  
As I listened to him, as his music pulled me into its magic, as I felt so many things at once I realized I was falling so so deep.  
  
I knew this won't be the last time I visited him. I knew I won't be able to leave him.  
  
I love him.


	22. Chapter 22

Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yeah, Paris was absolutely amazing." Junjin nodded, smiling as he remembered. "Yoochun was absolutely fascinated with Italy, though. Rome, Florence, Venice..."  
  
"Really?" I asked. "I especially liked Spain." I admitted. It was great change to talk about those fabulous places with someone who's also seen them. I was quite impressed.  
  
"I missed talking to someone about this." Junjin admitted, smiling and taking a sip of his coffee and I smiled right back, happy for the opportunity to get to know him better.  
  
"Me too." I replied. "We should talk more often."  
  
"Yeah." He nodded. "Thanks for the coffee Yunho, it's already late, I have some project to finish for tomorrow." He said standing up. I did the same.  
  
"No problem. We should go then." I replied. Waving Heechul, we exited the café and started going back to the dorms.  
  
  
JunJin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Yunho walked me back to my room and I went in. I didn't catch Eric, but it's okay, I can do it tomorrow. I had a great time nonetheless.  
  
"What's up?" Minwoo asked me as I went in.  
  
"Not much, I went for a coffee with Yunho." I shrugged, sitting down.  
  
"Oh, with Yunho, huh?" Minwoo teased me before he put down his book and looked at me.  
  
"Shut up." I laughed. "You know I only care for Eric."  
  
"But Eric wasn't there with you, right?"  
  
"He disappeared somewhere after classes." I shrugged, although it wasn't like I didn't care.  
  
"So, did you have a good time?"  
  
"Yeah, it was great! We talked about Europe." I started talking.  
  
"Oh yeah, you guys have something in common." He nodded.  
  
"It was nice to remember those things. I went there three years ago. I'd like to go again." I sighed.  
  
"Cool." Minwoo smiled. "You had fun with Yunho, that's great!" There he goes with that smile.  
  
"I have to find Eric tomorrow." I said in attempt to shut his mouth.  
  
"Good luck with that." He said returning to his book.  
  
"You think I'll need it?" I asked, but he just shrugged. Hopefully not.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was laying on my bed, watching Wannie coming out of the bathroom in nothing but his boxers. I smiled involuntarily as he walked to the closet and pulled out his pants and a shirt. I watched him dress, look himself at the mirror, before he proceeded picking up his books and papers.  
  
"Going somewhere?" I asked the obvious thing.  
  
"I have a practice."  
  
"With Yunho and Eric?"  
  
"Yeah." He replied, putting all that stuff in his bag.  
  
"When are you gonna be back?"  
  
"I have no idea." He replied finally turning to me. "We planned to study together after the practice."  
  
"Oh..." I said slightly frowning and looking down.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I was thinking... since it's Saturday... that we could have a lunch together or something." I said. "But it doesn't matter." I waved my hand and smiled, although I really wasn't feeling like it.  
  
"I'm sorry Sungie, I just had this already planned." He replied walking to my bed. "Some other time, okay?"  
  
"Yeah, sure." I said smiling again and he ruffled my hair before grabbing that bag of his and walking out.  
  
"Another Wannie-less day, Hyesung." I said to myself and fell back down on my pillow.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Give me those notes." I said outstretching my arm and waiting for Junsu to hand me much needed papers.  
  
"First say 'please' and then I'll think about it." He muttered walking around with his new song in hand.  
  
"Yeah right. Come on, you know you want to lend me those." I whined giving him my puppy eyes look.  
  
"Stop bothering me and write your own next time." He said throwing notes at me.  
  
"See? I knew you couldn't resist me."  
  
"Don't make me laugh. You're not that special." He rolled his eyes and shook his head, smirking at me mockingly.  
  
"You just don't want to admit it."  
  
"That I want you?" he asked suddenly. I looked at him. He was serious. I raised my eyebrow. "You believed that?" he asked, his lips stretching out in a wide smile. "Oh my god, you did!" and then he started laughing. I glared.  
  
"Of course not, I just played along." I replied looking back at the notes. Please, don't notice me blushing.  
  
"Uh huh." He nodded mockingly. "You're blushing Changmin." He grinned as well and chuckled. "Embarrassed much? Awww..." and then he came over and pinched my cheeks.  
  
"Don't touch me freak!" I growled up at him.  
  
"Awww, but you're so adorable!" he said laughing some more. "Come on, who's the baby now?"  
  
"You are." I replied coolly and looked back down at those notes. "Only someone who's still in diapers can write like this." He didn't say a thing and I looked back up to find him making weird faces in a mocking way. "Are you imitating me?"  
  
"You bet." He grinned. I fought the urge to laugh, he looked like such a dork.  
  
"Don't do that." Another lame reply. I'm losing my edge.  
  
"That's it?" he asked. "What happened Min? No witty comebacks? Awww and I just began to have fun!"  
  
"Go, speak to your brother or something. Let him entertain you, I don't have time for that." I said dismissing him with my hand quickly.  
  
"You don't have time for this?" he asked seriously and quickly pushed my papers away, sitting right down on my lap. I widened my eyes as he took off my glasses and looked at me. I tried to swallow as unnoticeably as possible, but it came out so loud. Or maybe it was just my imagination again. He squirmed on my lap, rubbing against me as much as he could, while that smirk didn't leave his face.  
  
"So, you want me afterall?" I teased, smiling up at him.  
  
"Who's the baby now?" he replied.  
  
"You are." I continued with the game.  
  
"You think?" he raised his eyebrow.  
  
"Horny baby, yeah."  
  
"But Changmin, I'm not horny." He said seriously again.  
  
"You tell that to someone else." I said looking in between his legs. "Hmm... that's not much of a size, you're definitely a baby." I smirked, lying oh so well.  
  
"I'm bigger then you." He replied. I widened my eyes again. Words were turning me on. Always have, always will. Not to mention having sexy Kim Junsu on me.  
  
"Wanna check?" I asked. Damn, my voice betrayed me. He noticed and smirked, standing up finally. Without a word.  
  
"Who's the coward now?" I asked as he was changing his t-shirt, obviously preparing for another of Junsu's great disappearing from the scene.  
  
"We'll save that game for another time."  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
I listened to Dongwan explaining the scene to Yunho. He also had trouble getting into the character, I was happy I wasn't the only one. Although we were great friends, Yunho and Dongwan were still quite different. Not as different as Dongwan and I, but still.  
  
I leaned back in my chair, sinking into my own thoughts, when Dongwan's voice interrupted me.  
  
"Guys, let's take a break." I smiled and Yunho nodded, but still looked at his lines. "Yunho. Break." Dongwan repeated taking the script away from him and Yunho finally sat down, relaxing slightly. We sat in silence for a couple of moments.  
  
"I decided to invite you guys over for winter break." Dongwan finally spoke. That definitely caught our attention.  
  
"Us? Who's us exactly?" Yunho asked.  
  
"Well, you know that Hyesung practically lives with Junsu and I, so I don't count him. For start you two and Changmin of course..." he started.  
  
"Woah, stop right there." I said laughing. "Are you sure? You know Changmin and Junsu..."  
  
"They live together here, why wouldn't they be able to live together there?" Dongwan asked.  
  
"Good point." I agreed.  
  
"Okay, who else?" Yunho asked again.  
  
"Umm..." he hesitated for a moment. "JaeJoong..." and then he paused, looking at Yunho.  
  
"I heard you. JaeJoong." Yunho nodded, urging him to continue.  
  
"Are you okay with me inviting Jae?" Dongwan asked the obvious hanging-in-the-air question.  
  
"Of course I'm okay. I hope he is too." Yunho replied honestly.  
  
"I think he will be." Wannie nodded. "Okay, well, then I have to invite Yoochun too." I smiled broadly. "What's up with him?" Wannie asked Yunho, pointing to me.  
  
"Yoochun." Yunho simply said and Wannie nodded.  
  
"Ah, right. Well, then if I'm inviting Yoochun I should invite Junjin as well. And then we come to the tricky thing... Minwoo."  
  
"You're not gonna invite him, right?" Yunho asked.  
  
"Well, he's Junjin's best friend and Hyesung is okay with it, it's all behind us. I even talked to Minwoo a couple of days ago, pretending that everything is alright. I don't know..." Wannie said.  
  
"He's after Jae." Yunho said.  
  
"Jae is not a kid." Dongwan continued. "And Minwoo is still our friend. With all his bad sides... Hyesung was the only reason I didn't want to invite him or talk to him, but since Sungie himself doesn't have a problem with that and even thinks it would be good, I think I'm gonna do it."  
  
"Alright." Yunho finally nodded. "But he better be careful with JaeJoong or I'll kill him."  
  
"Not in my house." Wannie added, but smiled. "Don't worry. Okay, well, that leaves Heechul and Donghae."  
  
"Oh, yeah, you have to invite them!" I grinned. "It's gonna be so interesting, we have three new guys in our crew!"  
  
"You sound so gay." Yunho glared at me.  
  
"Why?" I asked frowning.  
  
"It sounds like we're preparing for some kind of orgy or something." Dongwan said with a disgusted face.  
  
"God, I hope not!" Yunho chuckled and I shuddered at the thought.  
  
"Oh, I have a question!" I suddenly remembered a very important thing.  
  
"Shoot."  
  
"Can I bring a girl with me?"  
  
They looked at me as if I just punched them.  
  
"You're gay. When you're gay you don't bring girls to the group which consists of eleven other gay men unless it's some kind of a weird party or something." Yunho explained to me like he would explain to a little kid.  
  
"Ooooh I get it now." I nodded mockingly and they chuckled. Of course I wasn't that dumb.  
  
"Guys, seriously... can I bring Marshy?"


	23. Chapter 23

Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
I came back home late again. It was already midnight and once I stepped inside I could see Hyesung sleeping soundly, embracing the book he was reading. I took my clothes off, showered and came back to the room. Sighing, I sat down on Sungie's bed and took the book he was holding, putting it down next to the bed. I always loved watching him sleep. I smiled as I caressed his cheek and leaned down to kiss his forehead.  
  
"Wannie..." he said and I smiled seeing I didn't quite wake him up.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I miss you." He sighed moving slightly to a more comfortable position and went back to sleeping.  
  
"I'm sorry." I whispered looking down, before moving to my own bed.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"What do you want?" I asked glaring at Minwoo who was leaning against the door of my room.  
  
"Is Yoochun there?" he asked sweetly, looking over my shoulder.  
  
"No."  
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
"No."  
  
He did anyway. I closed the door, rolling my eyes.  
  
"I thought you didn't have problem with hearing. I said 'no'."  
  
"But you didn't mean it." He said smiling. "Is this your bed?"  
  
"No." He sat on the other bed. My bed.  
  
"Is that the only word you know how to say?"  
  
"N-Yes." Damn.  
  
"Liar." He chuckled, then looked around the room. We didn't say a thing. He was sitting and examining my room, I was standing and examining him.  
  
"Why are you trying to push me away so hard, Jae?" he spoke first again. He said it so softly, suddenly I wanted to stop treating him so coldly. However I stayed silent. "For obvious reasons. I see." He nodded, then paused again. "I'm not that bad, you know?" he started again. "I mean, I know it looks like it, after everything that happened. But, there is a part of me no one is aware of. Sometimes I hide it, sometimes I show it, but no one notices."  
  
I scoffed. You show it, but no one notices. Yeah, right.  
  
"You don't believe me?" he asked. "It's true. I'm not lying to you. I'd never... but of course, why would you trust me?" he scoffed himself. I titled my head, waiting for him to continue. This wasn't usual Minwoo behavior.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Yoochun is not going to be back soon, huh?" Minwoo, of course, spoke again. "Too bad I can't wait for him. I'll be back, you know." He smiled, standing up. I opened the door for him to get out. He stood in front of me, before going out.  
  
"You know, Jae..." I looked into his eyes. He was shorter and I started to wonder how he managed to have such power over all those guys. Over me. "... I decide. If I want something, I decide when, where and how I'll get what I want. I decide how much of true Lee Minwoo I'll show and who I'll show it to." He paused as I blankly watched him. He finally smiled.  
  
"I made my decision."  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
"What were you thinking?" Junsu almost screamed at me.  
  
"Calm down, please." I replied. "It's not that bad. You guys live together anyway."  
  
"You don't understand." He said walking back and forth across Wannie's and my room. "You see, I was looking forward to winter break. Just because I thought it'll pass without appearance of Shim Changmin. And now I find out you guys oh-so-conveniently planned to lock me in the house with him."  
  
"Drama-queen." I muttered.  
  
"Excuse me?" he said. "You just ruined my winter holidays and you're calling me a drama-queen?"  
  
"It's not that bad." I repeated. "It's gonna be fun, we're all gonna be together. Don't you love spending time with your best friends?"  
  
"I do. But there is no room for Shim Changmin among my best friends." He said, then sighed. "I hope he's not staying in my room." I bit my lower lip. Junsu widened his eyes. He really looked like he's gonna kill me. "You guys! You're unbelievable! I... I'm so gonna kill you."  
  
"Calm down, please." I repeated again.  
  
"No, you're dead. You and my brother together. Be happy I'm giving you an opportunity to die in each other's arms!" he said as he began pacing across my room even faster then before.  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?" I glared at him. He ignored me.  
  
"You do know I have one bed in my room?" he asked, finally realizing.  
  
"It's a king size bed." I pointed out unwillingly. I'm so dead.  
  
"One bed, Hyesung, one bed!" He screamed at me.  
  
"What is going on here?" Jae peeked in. "Is it safe to come in?" I smiled broadly and nodded.  
  
"Sorry, Jae." Junsu apologized, nodding as well.  
  
"What's up?" JaeJoong asked again, coming in and sitting next to me.  
  
"We're talking about winter break."  
  
"Oh, yeah, it's gonna be awesome!" Jae smiled clapping his hands like a little kid. I chuckled.  
  
"They're putting Shim Changmin in my one-king-size-bed-room." Junsu glared at me again.  
  
"Oh..." Jae finally understood and threw a quick glance at me. "That's gonna be... interesting."  
  
"That's not going to happen." Junsu said.  
  
"Does Changmin know?" Jae asked again.  
  
"No and he's not gonna find out... from me." Junsu said, cursing under his breath again. "Don't you dare tell him. He's not gonna stay there, I don't care about anything, I'm not gonna spend my holiday paired up with that horny homo." Jae and I stayed silent. "I can't believe you guys!" Junsu threw his hands up in the air again. "And where is that dumb brother of mine? He made that smart arrangement and now he's hiding. He better pray for me not to find him."  
  
"Really, Sungie, where is Dongwan?" Jae asked as well. I fought the urge to sigh.  
  
"He has a practice." I replied quietly, looking down.  
  
"With Yunho and Eric?" Junsu asked sitting down finally and looking at me.  
  
"What? Again?" Jae asked as well, putting his hand on my arm and making me look at him and flash one of my fake smiles. I nodded.  
  
"He's spending way too much time working." Junsu shook his head.  
  
"I don't understand. They've been practicing for... how long again?" Jae started.  
  
"A month or so. Every day he just grabs something to eat after the classes and then meets with them around 6 pm and stays up late. I see him only in the mornings, we don't even talk anymore. On weekends he grabs a little bit of time, but then he usually studies or we go for a movie or grab something to eat." I shrugged.  
  
"That doesn't sound like Wannie. I mean, he has always been obsessed with his scripts and movies, but this is too much..." Jae said thinking about it.  
  
"I don't know... sometimes I think..." I swallowed, not wanting to say it out loud.  
  
"What?" Junsu asked.  
  
"Nothing, it's silly... I just... I really miss him." I broke down. "I want him, I want my best friend back. That's why I'm looking forward to this holiday." I continued. "And don't you dare ruin it for me, understand me?" I pointed at Junsu, who reached over and hugged me.  
  
"I'm sorry hyung." He said. "I had no idea..." I smiled hugging Junsu back and winked at Jaejoong, who smirked knowingly.  
  
Changmin and Junsu in same bed. Oh, this was gonna be great! I have to make sure to film that.  
  
I still missed Wannie... Will you pay a tiny bit of attention to me during holidays? Will you? Please?  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
Another day, another last class for the day finished and another wonderful afternoon ahead of me.  
  
In this past month, I managed to come here every single day. Just listen to him.  
  
Yoochunah...  
  
I became so well-known around here. People got used to seeing me in this part of the building. Even Changmin and Junsu discovered what I've been doing. It's funny how those boys don't get along at all and here, both of them support me and didn't tell a thing to Yoochun.  
  
He's clueless. And that's the other thing I love about him. He's innocent, he's naive and has no idea I'm watching him day after day. He's all that, but still mature, still serious and responsible.  
  
He's the opposite of me. Maybe, maybe not. But I think so. I'm a dork, a clown, a funny dude who everybody love, but don't really know. He's a sad character that no one really pays attention to, the one who hides his feelings in wonderful music his soul is creating. I'm immature and he's not. He just looks like it. He just has that aura around him. I don't know if other people sense it, but I can see it so clearly. He's so much more then all that and deep down I know I'm like that too. We are similar afterall. And that's why he fascinates me so much.  
  
He's a childish grown-up and I'm a grown-up child.  
  
Yoochunah... My Yoochun.  
  
Who, sadly, is not mine.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hey!" I smiled seeing him waiting for me, as usual. At least I liked to tell so myself, I liked to believe in the lie I created in my mind. He was waiting for me. Yeah, right.  
  
"Hey." He replied, looking somewhere behind me, as usual. Looking for him. I waited for a moment, already knowing the question that was coming. "Eric already left?"  
  
Usually I'd let it pass. Usually I'd just nod or make a joke or do anything to change the subject. Usually I'd pretend like the question didn't exist afterwards. Because it hurt. Every time.  
  
I've been ignoring it and doing everything to forget about it. Because it was the only painful thing in our meetings. I wanted to believe we were going on a date. Every time I acted like it. I even started paying even more attention to what I was wearing every day. And everybody noticed. Everybody but him.  
  
I didn't want to do so anymore. For more then a month I've been avoiding talking to him about it.  
  
"Every time you ask about Eric." I said a bit harshly. Junjin looked at me, slightly surprised. I never used that tone with him. "And every time you go with me." I added.  
  
"Yunho..."  
  
"No, Jin, I really don't understand you." I cut him off. "If you want to hang out with him, then fine. But every time we go for a coffee I expect your attention to be focused on me, not Eric." He listened silently. "You're here every day, waiting for him. Every day you go with me and keep asking about him. Do you have any idea what that makes me feel like?" I continued. "I'm not just some kind of a substitute for Eric. I'm not someone you could use to fill your free time with. I'm not someone who's gonna go out with you and talk about all kinds of stuff, entertain you, because you couldn't find him. And on top of it all you dare to ask about him. Every f*cking time for more then a month already." I lost it. He was just looking at me.  
  
"It's not like that Yunho." I was expecting him to say that. To lie. Of course it was like that.  
  
"Whatever." I said walking away.  
  
"Aren't we going for a coffee?" he called. I scoffed, not believing what he dared to say after all the things I said to him.  
  
"Good luck with Eric, Jin." I didn't bother to turn back.


	24. Chapter 24

Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Minwoo!" I smiled walking into my room. He was sitting on my bed, while JaeJoong was in another part of the room, sitting across from him and not paying attention. Or pretending to read. Minwoo kept staring at him and looked away only to greet me back.  
  
"Hey Chun." He smiled.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I asked, putting my bag down and moving to the bathroom to wash my hands.  
  
"I came to pick up those notes from earlier, you know." He replied. "Do you still need them?"  
  
"Oh those. No, you can have them." I answered coming out of the bathroom and looking for them. "Here you go." I said handing him notes and he smiled.  
  
"Great! Thanks." He replied standing up. "Well, I'll be going then." He said.  
  
"Okay, bye Minu." I said walking him to the door.  
  
"Bye Chun. Jae." He said casting one more look in Jae's direction. JaeJoong simply waved him and went back to his book.  
  
I closed the door and turned to Jae.  
  
"What was that all about?" I asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Don't play dumb with me. The guy was burning holes into you with his staring and you just sit there pretending like you're alone in the room." I said walking up to him.  
  
"I wasn't pretending, I just decided not to pay attention to him." He replied not looking at me.  
  
"Yeah, and you succeeded in it." I sarcastically said. "Look, you even managed to move onto page 2." I pointed at his book and laughed as Jae glared at me. "Come on, you really don't look like you're indifferent to Minwoo."  
  
"You know Minwoo." He simply said.  
  
"I do, but that doesn't mean you should act like he killed your whole family and you're his next target."  
  
"I am his next target." JaeJoong exclaimed. "Or as he sais 'pray'."  
  
"Just talk to the guy once in a while, okay?" I said. "It won't hurt you."  
  
"Are you sure about that?"  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"So... umm... are you coming for a break?" Junsu asked me not looking up from the sheet of music in his hand.  
  
"What was that?" I asked back.  
  
"You know... are you coming over to my place for winter break?" he repeated more clearly.  
  
"Oh that..." I started smiling slightly. He still didn't look at me. "Of course."  
  
"What? Really?" he asked looking up.  
  
"Yeah, why are you so surprised?"  
  
"You know you'll be staying with me?" I nodded. "In the same room."  
  
"If you haven't noticed I've been staying in the same room with you for three months already." I replied glaring at him.  
  
"But not in the same bed." He said under his breath and I widened my eyes.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Oh, you did say something. Something about me sleeping with you in the same bed." I said.  
  
"You heard it wrong." He shrugged, nervously scribbling something. I waited. "Alright, yes. My [[email protected]](/cdn-cgi/l/email-protection) brother said you'll be staying in my room and my room has only one bed." I smirked. "There's nothing funny about it, you know."  
  
"You want me."  
  
"What?" he made a face. "You freak! No!"  
  
"You'd do something for me not to sleep with you if you didn't want me." I said smiling.  
  
"I tried... you... it's not like that... it's a long story."  
  
"Make it short."  
  
"Hyesung made me do it." He snapped.  
  
"Yeah, sure, keep telling that to yourself." I smiled, going back to my book.  
  
"Well... at least it's a king size bed." He sighed.  
  
"Oh, it doesn't make much of difference. You wouldn't mind if it was a single bed either." I chuckled.  
  
I know I wouldn't.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
A couple of days passed after that fight with JunJin. He didn't show up the next day, just as I expected. He didn't show up that whole week. Weekend passed and I still haven't seen him or heard from him. As I thought about the whole thing one more time I sighed. Maybe I really was too harsh. I took a risk and lost it. Lost that little time I've been spending with JunJin. That sweet every day coffee time. That one hour of pleasant talk we shared. I wasn't aware of how much it truly meant to me. You never know until you lose it. How painfully true that was.  
  
It was Monday. Another week started. Last week before winter break. Five more days and we're off. I'll see him again at Wannie's place. But how will he react, what will he do? Will he ignore me, like he did this past week? Was it a good idea to even go to Wannie's after all that happened?  
  
I regretted it so much. I could've just kept my mouth shut. I should've... But I didn't. It was all over now.  
  
I walked out of my last class, looking down. I had one hour of free time. An hour I usually spent with JunJin.  
  
"You're not even gonna say 'hi' to me?" I looked up.  
  
"Eric already left." I replied coldly. Again. What the hell was wrong with me?  
  
  
JunJin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I deserved it.  
  
"I'm not here for Eric." I said in a small voice. "I hope you're up for a coffee." I added, more confidently. He looked at me, I could tell he was thinking if he should accept the offer or not. "I swear I won't mention him or ask about him." I added quickly. Just come with me... Please. "My treat Yunho."  
  
"Alright." He finally gave in and we started walking to Heechul's.  
  
I never knew how much my conversations with Yunho meant to me until I stopped having them. Every day was boring, it was annoyingly empty if I haven't talked to him. I realized that even just seeing him could make my day better. Because sometimes, we would stop talking and just sit in silence. Enjoying our coffee. Together. It was enough.  
  
I had Minwoo, he was my best friend. But he couldn't replace Yunho. I didn't have anyone like Yunho in my life. It was a good thing. He was unique in my life and I knew I was unique in his. That made me so happy.  
  
I didn't realize. I didn't know. Until his sudden outburst. Until I lost one thing that made my simple life special.  
  
We sat down and ordered our coffee. As usual. Oh how I missed this.  
  
"I missed you." I said honestly.  
  
"I missed you too." He replied. That was enough.  
  
We haven't spoken for the rest of the precious hour we had for each other. I was looking at him and he was looking at his coffee, then back at me. He was smiling.  
  
It was the best spent hour I've ever had.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
I couldn't believe it. Alright, I could, I just didn't want to. Like I didn't want to hurt my best friend nor be the reason for him doing something irrational. But it looked like I couldn't avoid it. Lying to my best friend was completely unacceptable. And not telling him something as important as this was equal to lying.  
  
"Hey Minu!" Jin greeted me happily as I entered our room.  
  
"I have to tell you something." I said. Better sooner then later.  
  
"What's wrong?" Junjin sat up quickly. "Did something happen?"  
  
"I saw Eric..." I started nervously. "... in music department. He was standing next to one open classroom... watching Yoochun."  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched Dongwan pacing across our room and picking up random papers he needed. As always. I watched this scene to many times and I was already sick of it. I knew what this meant. Another practice, another long day without him, another evening turning into night that lead to me going to sleep before he returns.  
  
I sighed as all unpleasant thoughts rushed into my head. Thoughts that started haunting me, doubts and fears. Lately I started to surprise myself. I discovered I wasn't as confident as I thought I was. I was so insecure, so fragile. I feared so much. All thoughts led to one: what if I lose him?  
  
"Going again?" I forced a smile.  
  
"You know it." He smiled back, completely clueless. It's better that way.  
  
"Are you going to come back tonight?" I asked. "We can have dinner together. And we should pack, we're leaving early tomorrow." I added. Finally, winter break. I was waiting for it for so long. I couldn't wait. Will I have more of you then, Wannie?  
  
"I know Sungie. But I can't tell anything about tonight, we'll see." He said sighing. "Don't wait for me."  
  
I hated those words. You think I'm not waiting for you? Every time you come back and say 'sorry' to me I pretend to sleep, just to hear you came home, came back to me. I'll always wait for you, how can you even think otherwise?  
  
However, I nodded. I smiled. I said 'bye' to him and walked him to the door. I started to do all those things automatically. After repeating some action for such a long time you get used to it so much, you don't even think about it anymore. You just do it.  
  
I had other plans for me today.  
  
Quickly, I got dressed and went out myself. I knew everything about places Dongwan was using for his working, studying, filming. I knew where he felt comfortable to practice. Those awful thoughts that were haunting me... I wanted to put an end to them.  
  
I sneaked into drama department and looked around. Not a soul. Of course, no one but Kim Dongwan worked on the last day of school. Half of the campus already left home. Wannie has always been too stubborn to stop working and relax. Especially when he was working on something with such passion. I've never seen him like this. This film was too much.  
  
I was looking inside of the classrooms, peeking in to make sure they're empty. And then I heard them. Wannie and Yunho. No Eric. The door wasn't completely closed and I looked inside, clearly seeing Yunho walking across the room with script in his hand. Then Wannie appeared and stood in front of him, saying something to him. I assumed he was explaining the scene or something, since he was pointing at something in the script. I couldn't hear them clearly and I didn't even bother.  
  
I was a jerk. Doubting, fearing, thinking nonsense. I smiled and turned to go back to my room when I heard Yunho.  
  
"Are you that blind? Huh?" I turned around, watching the two of them. "How can you not see all the things I've been doing these past couple of months? It has always been there, I just couldn't say it... scream it out loud for obvious reasons. Everything that went on in our lives... it was just too much. I had to swallow my feelings and pretend like nothing was going on. I had to forget about you. I was trying too hard, you have no idea. You just have no idea..." Yunho finished throwing the script and looking down. My mind couldn't function properly. What the hell?  
  
"Did you make it?" Dongwan replied.  
  
"What?" Yunho replied looking up.  
  
"You were trying so hard. Did you make it? Did you forget about me?"  
  
"I love you." I felt my heart stop. Dongwan looked like he was shocked. He didn't move and inch, until Yunho screamed at him. "I love you!"  
  
And then a whisper.  
  
"I love you too."  
  
Everything else was a blur. I turned around and ran as fast as I could. I didn't look around, I didn't notice anything around me, I didn't notice my own tears falling freely as my chest ached and I was running out of my breath.  
  
My world was crashing beneath my feet.


	25. Chapter 25

Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Sungie..." I heard someone calling me. "Sungie, are you alright?" A feel of someone's hand against my forehead. "You're burning. Sungie! Wake up... come on."  
  
Slowly, I opened my eyes.  
  
"Wannie..." I whispered and sank back into the darkness.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
I shouldn't have left him today. As I gathered him into my arms and moved him onto his bed I kept telling myself that it was my fault he was ill now. If I stayed with him. If I only didn't leave.  
  
I busied myself. I knew we had some medications in the room, for situations like this, so I went to find them. I found some pot and poured cold water into it, then used a cloth to wipe his forehead. I even called umma to ask what else to do to get rid of Hyesung's fever. I spent the night by his side. Trying not to think about anything but him getting better.  
  
I couldn't help but blame myself. He didn't help at all.  
  
Every now end then, when the fever was taking over him he'd speak.  
  
"Wannie... Wannie, don't... stay... just today... please..." I caressed his face, his hands. "Why are you doing this?... No... let him go... no... Wannie..."  
  
I didn't know what he was talking about. I just knew I shouldn't have left him. It was all pointless now.  
  
"I'm sorry Sungie, I'm so sorry." I kept whispering, while trying to bring down his body heat. I'd do anything, just to make him healthy again.  
  
Nothing mattered anymore. Film, winter break, college... nothing mattered.  
  
As sun started to rise up I cried myself to sleep.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Su, wake up!" I pushed my stupid roommate away. He didn't give up, shaking me even harder.  
  
"Leave me alone..." I growled, not opening my eyes.  
  
"Junsu, Wannie is here. Wake up damnit!" Changmin yelled at me and I rubbed my eyes, blinking a few times until I saw Dongwan in front of me.  
  
"Wannie, what's wrong?" I asked quickly.  
  
"Come with me, please." He said and I quickly got up and followed him to his room. Sungie was in his bed, sleeping, but didn't look very well. Their room was in a mess and when I looked back at Dongwan black circles around his eyes told me he didn't get much sleep.  
  
"Sungie..." I said walking up to his bed and sitting down next to it. "What's wrong?" I repeated my question worriedly turning to my brother again.  
  
"He had a fever the whole night." Wannie replied and sighed and I finally understood why he was looking that way. "He's slightly better now, fever is gone although he didn't wake up yet. I guess he needs that rest." I nodded. "I want us to go home as quickly as possible."  
  
"You're not able to drive, you're gonna fall asleep." I answered.  
  
"You'll drive then." He simply said and I nodded. "Did you pack?" I shook my head. "Well, hurry up then. I packed myself, I only have Sungie's stuff left, I should be done in half an hour."  
  
"What about Sungie? You'll need to wake him up." I said looking back at our friend.  
  
"I'll manage. Don't worry about it." I replied. "Just hurry, okay? The sooner we get there, the better." I nodded once again and went back to my room.  
  
"What's wrong?" Changmin asked me. Although it was early and I knew how much he loved to sleep, he waited for me to come back. I guess he got scared when he saw Dongwan. I know I was.  
  
"Hyesung is sick. We're leaving in half an hour." I replied.  
  
"How sick?" Min asked again.  
  
"He has a fever. Wannie sais he's better then he was last night, but it's better to come home as soon as possible." I replied gathering my stuff. Changmin nodded.  
  
"Do you need help?" I looked at him, he was looking back at me and I understood there was no reason for me to be so surprised. I nodded. I couldn't function properly this early in the morning and I was thinking about Hyesung. I could use some help.  
  
Changmin quickly jumped off his bed and busied himself with my stuff.  
  
"You know you're breaking one of your rules?" I asked smiling slightly. For some reason I found it funny.  
  
"This is... a different kind of situation." He shrugged looking at the closet he so generously gave to me when we moved in. "You have too much clothes."  
  
"Tell me something new."  
  
"I can't help you with that."  
  
"Yes, you can, just pick random stuff, I don't like anything I have there anyway." I said slightly irritated. I needed to buy new clothes anyway.  
  
"How can you not like this shirt?" He asked holding up some shirt I hardly ever wore. I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Okay, give it." I said as he handed it to me.  
  
"Oh and this..." he continued looking through my clothes. "Damn, why are you so short? I could steal a couple of outfits..." he said and I laughed.  
  
"You're crazy... thinking I'd give them to you." I said. "Besides, you're not that much taller."  
  
"Yeah well... Okay, I'm picking up everything I like and you'll have to wear it during break, so deal with it." He said finally, as he started picking up and examining more clothes.  
  
"Great." I said, my voice free of sarcasm. I couldn't bother. I just took all the stuff that he gave me and put into my bag. I took some books and songs I've been working on. I was finally ready.  
  
I picked up my bag and walked to the door. Changmin followed me.  
  
"Okay, I'm going." I said.  
  
"I'm going with you." He said and I nodded. We walked into Wannie's room. He was already ready and Sungie was still laying down, only dressed and pretty much conscious, although dosing off.  
  
"Are you okay?" Changmin asked Dongwan, who really looked extremely tired.  
  
"I'm fine, I just want to get him home." He replied and seeing I'm ready, he lifted Hyesung, gathering him into his arms. Hyesung must have been really light, since Wannie did so with such easiness, leaving both Min and I amazed. "Please, help me with bags." Changmin and I nodded, taking all the stuff and finally exiting the room.  
  
Dongwan put Hyesung in the back seat and Sungie shifted, mumbling something in process, before he went back to sleep.  
  
"Thanks for the help Min." Dongwan said, smiling and Changmin just waved his hand. "You're coming, right?"  
  
"Yeah." Changmin replied and Wannie sat in the passenger seat, waiting for me.  
  
I turned to Changmin.  
  
"Well..." I started.  
  
"I'm coming in a couple of days." He cut me off.  
  
"Thanks." I replied instead.  
  
"You're changing the subject from the fact that I'll sleep in your bed in a couple of days." He smirked.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"You know that's impossible."  
  
I laughed at that. He smiled. I felt the urge to hug him. So I did. He smiled hugging me back.  
  
"You want me." He said.  
  
"You spoiled the moment." I replied breaking the hug.  
  
"Who's the coward now?" he replied as I walked to the car.  
  
"Another time, Min." I smiled and got in. Time to go home.  
  
As I looked at the mirror I saw Shim Changmin waving at us. I couldn't help but smile.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
Still in my pajamas, I rubbed my eyes and opened the door.  
  
"Minnie?" I asked and yawned. I couldn't wait for break. I needed sleep.  
  
"Chun." He greeted me and walked right into the room. Jae went out of the bathroom.  
  
"Min?" he repeated what I said.  
  
"Oh there you are." Changmin said and got into Jae's bed. "You don't mind? I'm so cold, I've just been outside."  
  
"What were you doing outside in only your pajamas at 8 o'clock on Saturday morning?" Jae asked sitting next to me on my bed.  
  
"I was helping Junsu pack, then helped him and Dongwan carry their stuff to the car..." he started.  
  
"They already left home?" I asked. Knowing Junsu, I'd expect him not to get up until noon.  
  
"Sungie's got a fever last night..." Min started again, but Jae cut him off.  
  
"Is he okay?"  
  
"He's fine, calm down. Just, Wannie wanted to go home as soon as possible because of that. But Sungie is alright now. Just sleeping." Min finished.  
  
"Oh, that's good." I said.  
  
"Yeah..." Min nodded, then paused. "You guys... Wannie really loves him, doesn't he?"  
  
"Who? Sungie?" I asked getting up to take some cookies, then brought them back to bed and offered them to Jae and Min.  
  
"Not in bed, Chun." Jae glared at me.  
  
"Oh come on, just today. We're going home anyway." I said, then turned back to Minnie.  
  
"Of course he loves him, you only noticed that now?" Jae asked chuckling slightly. Min shrugged. "It's so obvious you guys... but I guess you're not as close to them as I am. You still don't know them well, Chun and you, Min... well, your rivalry with Junsu stopped you from hanging out with his hyungs. You can ask Yunho and Eric, I bet they'll agree with me. That boy is one hundred percent in love with Hyesung. And I think Sungie loves him back just as much, if not more." Jae chuckled again, especially when he noticed Changmin and me looking at him in amazement. "Where do you guys live, for Christ's sake?" he asked suddenly.  
  
"Oh hyung, what else do you know?" Min asked jumping up and down in Jae's bed. I laughed. Jae looked at Minnie.  
  
"Oh you came to the right place! Along with Hyesung, I'm the gossiping quee--king around here."  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
First thing I saw when I woke up was Junjin yawning and packing his stuff already.  
  
"Jin? Are you crazy?" I asked stretching in my bed and sitting up.  
  
"No, I just like to be prepared." He replied. "You don't know my brother. He'll rush in the last moment and beg me to pack him." I couldn't quite believe that.  
  
"Uh huh..." I said getting up and walking to the bathroom.  
  
"It's true!" he said before I closed my door. I bet he started to pack early just so he wouldn't forget something. Jin... that freak.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I'm gonna see Marshmallow, I'm gonna see Marshmallow..." Not a nice way to wake someone up.  
  
"Shut up!" I groaned, hitting Eric with the pillow.  
  
"Yunho! You're up! I'm gonna see my baby today!" he rushed to my bed and I quickly pulled the cover over my head.  
  
"Let me sleep!" I said.  
  
"Oh no, you're not going back to sleep!" Eric said, starting pulling my leg until I ended up on the floor.  
  
"Eric!" I groaned again. God, wait till we get home. I'll leave you to your Marshmallow, only she can handle you.  
  
"Come on, you have to get up. Today is a big daaaaaaaaaaaay." He started singing again. Oh man...  
  
"Big as in long..." I muttered getting to my feet.  
  
"Now sing with me!" Eric grinned pulling me by my hands, but I managed to get away and ran into the bathroom.  
  
"You're no fun!" Eric cried from the outside.  
  
"You're no fun!" I echoed. "You didn't let me sleep. I'm gonna sleep in the tub."  
  
"Oh no you won't." he started banging on the door. "I'm gonna sing nooooow." Oh hell, no!  
  
In half an hour half of the campus was banging on our door. Great! Just as I thought this year will be different.  
  
I was so close... but Eric did it again.


	26. Chapter 26

Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I drove in silence. As soon as we hit the highway Dongwan sink in deeper into his seat and started sobbing. I looked at him, slightly panicked.  
  
"Wannie." I said, looking back at the road. "Wannie, stop."  
  
"It's all my fault." He cried, looking down. I guess he needed to let it out.  
  
"What are you talking about? You haven't done anything." I started again.  
  
"No, I shouldn't have left him all these days. I never had time for him... I..." he cried harder. I listened, not knowing what to say. I knew how much Hyesung missed him, but it really wasn't his fault.  
  
I didn't know what to do. Stuck with two hyungs in mess, one with a fever and another one crying his eyes out... This was everything I didn't expect from my first day of winter break. I just continued driving in silence and eventually Dongwan calmed down, wiped his face and looked through the window. He sighed. I echoed.  
  
"Are you alright?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah." He nodded and paused. "How have you been Junsu?" his question surprised me, but I realized what he meant. He didn't have time for any of us, Hyesung, me... he didn't know what was going on in our lives anymore.  
  
"I've been okay." I shrugged.  
  
"You and Changmin are getting along better." He said. It wasn't a question, it was a statement.  
  
"N-no." I stuttered, not knowing how to respond. There was a change, but I didn't know if it was for better. I didn't want it to be better, hating each other was so much better. At least I knew what I was doing, what I wanted and, most of all, what I felt.  
  
"I saw that hug." Wannie said smirking slightly and glancing at me.  
  
"That didn't mean anything." I said blushing. I didn't want to feel like this.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because there's nothing to talk about." I lied again.  
  
"It didn't look like it." He said, but I didn't reply. Wannie always knew when to stop. The rest of the trip went on in silence.  
  
  
JunJin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Yoochun and I haven't spoken on our way home. I didn't want to talk to him and we both knew that he won't speak unless I start first.  
  
It has been like that ever since he was born. He has always been a strange kid, so indoor, so independent. It looked like he didn't need anyone and I didn't complain about it, I preferred not being bothered. He was my dongsaeng and throughout the years it burdened me. Until I grew up.  
  
In high school it finally started to annoy me. Most of my friends were close to their siblings. Even when they fought, even when they annoyed each other there was that silent agreement, a secret everyone knew. They loved each other and would do anything for each other. Yoochun and I were different.  
  
But it was already late. He grew up. We weren't in position where he could look up at me and I would be there for him through his growing up. It was all over. And the bond I suddenly wanted to achieve couldn't be made just like that. Not after all the years of ignoring him, not after all the years of not knowing him. We lived in the same house, but we were total strangers. I was even surprised when I heard he applied for the same college as me. I was surprised he was serious about it. About music, about art in general.  
  
It turned out he was more serious then me.  
  
Roles changed. Or that was what I wanted to think. The truth was that he has always been the mature one, the older one. Deep down I knew it too well, our whole family did. We looked perfect from the outside. Everyone thought our parents got lucky to have such nice boys, smart, responsible and handsome. Luck had nothing to do with it, it was all our dad's work. But although relationships between our parents and us could be described as nearly perfect, relationship between Yoochun and me spoiled the image of perfect family.  
  
We were strangers. And... I envied him.  
  
He never wanted anything, he never needed anything. But he got it all. Appa loved him more then me, I have always been umma's favorite. They thought I didn't know, but I would often hear him say:  
  
"He's your boy, how could you not raise him well? Look at Yoochun, why can't he be more like him? The boy is working so hard and he respects me. Junjin just wants to have fun. Life is no fun. When will he learn it?"  
  
Of course, he talked to me about it, we had a couple of fights, but I knew appa loved me. He just loved Yoochun more. I was never good enough, even though umma defended me and supported me no matter what. I felt the urge to compete with my little dongsaeng and as much as I tried to suppress it, it finally came out.  
  
I glanced at him from my passenger seat. Of course, appa trusted him more with the car. Yoochun sighed softly, keeping his eyes on the road. I glanced away and out of the window, returning to my thoughts.  
  
Eric... Eric was something I didn't want to let Yoochun have. I knew Yoochun wanted him, he couldn't fool me. I truly liked Eric, I wanted him. If I got something from appa it would be stubbornness. Yoochun was the one who'd give up, as much as we were strangers I was still hyung to him. I knew one thing about him, he'd do anything for family. If that meant giving up someone he liked, then be it. I knew that too well and I was taking advantage of it.  
  
Yeah... Junjin is the bad guy again. But this is something that I can have. Something that Yoochun won't beat me in. I was working hard, much harder then him and we were being treated equally. He got it all so easily, almost smiling and I was sweating and crying to receive a little bit of attention. He was always so into himself, never satisfied, ungrateful and I was pretending like everything was okay, always smiling and trying to surround myself with people. I needed friends, I needed people around me. People who would look up at me, people who would love me.  
  
I decided not to say a thing about what Minwoo told me. Let him be. I'm pretty sure Yoochun wasn't aware of it and as long as they didn't actually meet I don't consider that going behind my back. I knew I had to do my best now, do everything to get Eric's attention. I needed to push Yoochun out of the picture.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
A couple of days passed since we got home and I was feeling much better. I didn't have a fever anymore, I got a lot of rest and I could finally get out of the bed. My body was healthy again, but my heart still ached like crazy and didn't give out any signs of getting better.  
  
Wannie was coming over every single day. As he was spending so much time here already, my umma offered him to stay at our place, but he couldn't. It didn't make much difference to him since most of the time I pretended I was asleep.  
  
I still couldn't believe what I saw that day. It felt like a horrible nightmare and I prayed to wake up as soon as possible. But, everything Yunho said fitted in so well. The whole story. He wasn't able to be with Wannie because of JaeJoong? Or maybe even because of me, because Wannie had to take care of me after everything that happened with Minwoo. It all made sense. Waking up never came and I knew I had to accept awful truth. If only I could say it out loud.  
  
Dongwan and Yunho. My Wannie and some other man. Not me. But him. I was truly destined not to have luck in love. Why do I keep falling for wrong guys? Why?  
  
I packed my stuff again. As I looked at the stuff Wannie packed for me I couldn't help but smile. He put everything I needed, everything I couldn't go on a trip without. He even packed some of the books I needed and remembered to put in a toy I always carried with me. Small horse he gave to me. He knew me so well. No one knew me the way Wannie did. And no one ever will.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Christmas.  
  
I was laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about everything. It has been a couple of days since we left college and came home.  
  
It was great to come back to my parents. Umma got so excited, she made a wonderful dinner and baked my favorite cake. Appa even invited both Eric's and Yunho's families.  
  
It was good to be home.  
  
I didn't have much to do. I spent all my time on the internet or at either Eric's or Yunho's places. I was happy I had my hyungs, it has always been like this and just now I realized how much I missed them. How little we saw of each other in the past three months. Something was missing though.  
  
I felt so empty.  
  
I glanced at my cell as it signaled I received a text message.  
  
 _Merry Christmas DorkMin! I hope you're having a great time with your family and are not looking forward to tomorrow. I'll see you... (god, how I'd love to avoid that)  
  
Sexy Kim Junsu (you'll never have ;P)_  
  
That was enough. I smiled as life regained its sense and I finally understood what I was missing.  
  
I miss _you_ Kim Junsu.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
"We're gonna be roomed the same way as in college, do you agree with me?" I asked looking from Hyesung to Junsu. Sungie shrugged as if he didn't really care. What was wrong with him?  
  
"No." Junsu of course objected.  
  
"Well, I didn't ask you." I replied.  
  
"You were talking to both of us." He said.  
  
"What gave you that impression?" I chuckled, then looked at Hyesung again. He looked like he wasn't a part of conversation at all, like he wasn't even there. "Sungie, are you alright?"  
  
"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine." He nodded and looked down. "I agree. It's normal, six rooms, so two in each room, we all got used to our roommates back in college and most of us are rooming with our best friends, so it sounds perfect." He said quickly, as if he was concluding some business meeting.  
  
"I'm not used to my roommate and he's certainly not my best friend, so it's not perfect." Party-breaker Junsu.  
  
"Your pairing is the best out of them all." Sungie laughed for the first time in days. I missed that sound. "You still have that camera?" he turned to me. I nodded. He smiled mischievously and glanced at Junsu. "Great."  
  
"Yeah, whatever... I see it's pointless." Junsu gave up finally.  
  
"Oh, it's so nice to see you being obedient for a change." I chuckled again.  
  
"Shut up, hyung." He said. "Why don't I kick Sungie out of your room and come to sleep with you instead? I bet Sungie will get along with Changmin just great."  
  
"No way! I'm not giving my Sungie." I said quickly pulling Hyesung into my arms. He stiffened suddenly, trying to push me away for a brief second, but then relaxed. He thought I didn't notice it. But what the hell is going on?  
  
"Your Sungie? Those are some new moments there." Junsu continued with teasing me.  
  
"Yeah, Dongwan. I'm not yours." Hyesung suddenly said seriously and pushed me away, walking to my bedroom.  
  
"What was that?" Junsu asked getting serious as well. We always joked like that, but this was the first time Hyesung reacted like this.  
  
"I don't know." I said looking at the door Hyesung just closed behind him. "I have to talk to him." I said and Junsu moved out of my way as I knocked on the door and stepped in.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
He walked in and I quickly hid my face, trying to wipe my tears in the process.  
  
"Sungie?" he called, sitting down on the bed. I moved further from him, my back hitting the headboard. "What's wrong?" he asked. I didn't reply. "Are you crying?"  
  
"N-no." I stuttered, but it came out shakily.  
  
"You are." He said moving closer to me. "What's wrong?" he sounded so confused. Of course he was, I never acted like that around him. It was normal for us to be like that and to be teased by Junsu. The difference is that I used to enjoy it, I was hoping all that joking hid the truth behind itself. Now I was sure there was nothing between Wannie and me, nothing more then friendship. Joking like that became so painful.  
  
"Nothing." I replied. Bad, bad liar. "I just..."  
  
"What? Did I do something? Or say something that hurt you?" he asked panicking slightly. "I'm so sorry if it's my fault. Just tell me Sungie." He reached for my arm. I slightly pushed him away. "See? That's not normal. Something's bothering you and you don't want to tell me."  
  
"Nothing's bothering me and you haven't done anything." I repeated.  
  
"You're lying. You never lie to me." He said frowning.  
  
"I... it's really nothing. Don't pay attention to me." I said.  
  
"How can I not? You're my best friend."  
  
"Exactly. I'm your best friend. I... might not be comfortable with all those jokes and you touching me anymore." I blurted out, then covered my mouth with my hand and looked at him.  
  
"I see..." he said, swallowing slightly and looking extremely hurt. He stood up. "Alright Hyesung... I don't know, we grew up together and for the past twenty years we haven't had a problem with sleeping in the same bed. But since you feel that way now I'll just... You can keep my room and I'll sleep in the living room." He said quickly and went out of the room.  
  
Can I find any more ways to ruin my life?


	27. Chapter 27

Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hey guys!" I said smiling at Heechul and Donghae as they entered my house.  
  
"Hey Wannie!" Heechul replied and Junsu and Hyesung quickly helped them with their bags. "Your house is so cool!" he added and Donghae looked around nodding as well. I smiled.  
  
"Thanks." I replied.  
  
"How was your trip?" Junsu asked once we stepped into the kitchen and Sungie started making us coffee.  
  
"Oh, it was good." Donghae smiled. "We got here faster then we thought."  
  
"The weather is rather nice these days, so I assumed you won't be having trouble." I said walking up to Hyesung and helping him with cups. Heechul agreed and continued talking with Junsu.  
  
"We need to talk." Hyesung said and I simply nodded, before we took all the cups of coffee and moved to our friends.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
Junsu went out with Donghae and Heechul, leaving Dongwan and I alone. I sighed, finishing washing all the cups and went to look for Wannie. I found him outside, leaning against the wall and thinking about something. Probably what got into me.  
  
"Wannie..." I started. He didn't move. "I..." I sighed. This was harder then I thought it will be. "I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd move out of your own room because of what I said." I said. "So, just... come back, I don't have a problem with you sleeping in the same room with me. You know I never had and I never will."  
  
"You're just talking about me coming back to the room." He started.  
  
"Wannie..."  
  
"No. I thought about it. In our conversation you just said you had a problem with me being too... I don't know, friendly with you? I don't think anything changed in our relationship, I don't think I did anything special, I haven't acted in any way other then usually. We've been friends for so many years and you say something to me now. I just don't understand. Probably because you're still not telling me the whole truth." He said looking at me finally. I looked back into his eyes, shivering slightly. He was confused and hurt, but it made me feel so insecure. I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't say it. "That's why I'm asking myself now: do you really mean what you're saying to me, about coming back to the room or you're just trying to forget about it all and act like nothing happened?"  
  
"I want you to come back." I whispered.  
  
"You are avoiding it again." He scoffed stepping away from the wall. "Sungie, I'm asking you. What are you hiding from me?"  
  
"Will you stop?" I asked back. "I... I don't want to tell you. Just... I didn't feel comfortable and now I do, can we just finish this?"  
  
"It doesn't go like that. But you said it, you don't want to tell me." He nodded. "Maybe I don't want to sleep in the same bed, in the same room with you anymore." He blurted out. I widened my eyes at his words. He never said anything like that to me before.  
  
With everything that happened in the past couple of days I felt that this was it. I couldn't take it anymore. I allowed myself to break down. In front of him. As I started crying I didn't give a damn anymore.  
  
"Hyesung..." his tone suddenly changed and he reached for me again, but I stepped back, turning my back to him. I'm crying. Why am I allowing myself to cry because of him? Because he's worth it all? I know he is. But this is pointless. He didn't let go of me, even though I pushed him away again. He turned me around, I didn't look at him. He hugged me, I tried to break free.  
  
I need to breathe... But can I breathe without him?  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I parked my car and got out. I took my big bag out of the back seat and locked the car.  
  
"Need help?" I turned to look at Minwoo who was leaning against his car and he looked like he was saying 'I'm such a sexy beast, no one can resist me'. And then he moved. 'Now excuse me, I have to seduce my next pray, Kim JaeJoong'. Oh, Minwoo, I know you too well.  
  
"No thanks." I replied, turning my back to him and walking towards the house.  
  
"Do you remember what I said to you JaeJoong?" I stopped and turned around. Mr. I'm-so-hot approached me again. Too bad he really was hot and my whole 'Lee Minwoo is full of sh.it' theory wasn't at its highest, securely unreachable point. It was closer to the ground and was getting weaker with every moment passing. It could fall so easily. Once it touches the dirt beneath my feet I'll give in. And Lee Minwoo will fly up high.  
  
"What?" I asked. Let's try to push it up again.  
  
"You remember, don't pretend." He was pushing back.  
  
"What about it?" Who will be stronger?  
  
"You won't be able to escape my decision."  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
JaeJoong and Minwoo joined us early in the afternoon. They miraculously ran into each other in front of our front door. How convenient, don't you think? I opened the door to a flushed JaeJoong and grinning Minwoo. I smirked as we greeted each other and I leaded them to the living room where the rest of the guys were. Minus Hyesung, who was in Wannie's room. This place already started getting crowded. I smiled.  
  
Three hours later the bell rang again and I happily jumped off the couch to open the door once again. Eric and Yunho pulled me into their arms and I laughed as they messed up my hair and Marshy jumped up on me.  
  
"Eric, listen to me now." I said seriously. "Marshy can stay in the house, but only in the hallway. Understand me?"  
  
"Yes sir!" he saluted and I chuckled as he kneeled down and hugged his dog. "She'll be a good girl, right Marshy?" he said and got up again. Him and Yunho went to join the others and I turned to one person I left standing at the door.  
  
"Hey." I said as he watched me up and down, sending chills up my spin.  
  
"Sexy Kim Junsu..." he said smirking and I finally noticed that he was holding his cell phone. He stepped closer, just looking at me for a moment and then proceeded to the room. As he passed by me he whispered:  
  
"You so want me."  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I laughed along with Minwoo as he was telling us one of the many funny situations he got himself into. This one was about his first encounter with Marshmallow. I was there when it happened and I laughed even harder as memories rushed to my head. Eric was slightly red from the embarrassment his dog put him through, but laughed nonetheless.  
  
"... I asked you, Ric, I was like, she's harmless, right?" It was funny how Minwoo, the tough guy, was afraid of dogs. "And Eric here, spent the whole first semester telling me what an angel she is. And then I come to Yunho's place to visit the guys and we go to Eric's and I'm like, preparing myself, telling myself that Marshy is a harmless little puppy who'll only cuddle and play with me. And I run into... that!" he said pointing to Marshmallow who just walked into the living room.  
  
"Eric!" Junsu exclaimed. "I told you! Just hallway."  
  
"I didn't tell her to come... Geeze..." Eric muttered standing up and walking Marshy out of the room.  
  
"Anyway, is that a cute little puppy?" Minwoo asked laughing.  
  
"What happened?" Donghae asked, still holding onto his boyfriend's hand. Heechul was sitting in his lap and I smiled, remembering the time I was like that with JaeJoong. As if he knew I was thinking about him he looked at me and smiled. I smiled back.  
  
"Well, she probably sensed that I wasn't much of a dog lover, so she kind of... bit me."  
  
"She didn't bite you!" Eric said as he walked back into the room.  
  
"Oh yes, she did." Minwoo replied.  
  
"She didn't, Minwoo." I said. "She just grabbed your pants." I said starting to laugh again. The rest of the guys looked from me to Minwoo and Eric.  
  
"Yeah and pulled them right off." Eric laughed even harder then me.  
  
"She didn't!" Heechul exclaimed. By now, all the boys were laughing.  
  
"Oh, you should've seen that!" I said.  
  
"That's even worse then biting." Junsu laughed.  
  
"Thank you!" Minwoo replied.  
  
"Or better. Depends of who's point of view it is." Changmin added.  
  
"You guys stop!" Minwoo laughed as well.  
  
"You're the first and the last person so far that she acted like that with." Eric said.  
  
"Probably because she sensed what kind of a person he is." Jae said seriously. We all shut up. Minwoo was looking at him, with what could only be described as pain in his eyes. I've never seen him look at someone like that. Jae was looking back at him.  
  
"Or maybe she just wanted to find out what kind of underwear he's wearing." Dongwan tried to remove the tension and we all burst out laughing again. Minwoo smiled and looked away, his gaze meeting Wannie's. Wannie smiled at the 'thank you' expression Minwoo was giving him and I had to ask myself am I dreaming or this wasn't the Lee Minwoo I knew.  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
As the rest of the guys went to unpack and shower Minwoo and I went for a walk with Marshy.  
  
"So, Eric, what's up?" He asked me as I watched my girl run through the park.  
  
"Not much. Just busy. This film Dongwan is working on takes a lot of time from Yunho and I. But you know, that's work. We enjoy it, I can't complain." I said. "You? How's it going?"  
  
"Same. I'm working on some new songs and it's great. Yoochun is also helping me when he has time." He said smiling slightly. At the mention of Yoochun I looked at him.  
  
"Oh... I heard he's really talented. Yoochun I mean." I said looking in front of me again.  
  
"Yeah, he is. The best composer on college at the moment actually." Minwoo nodded. "I heard that even professors plan to ask him to stay in college after he graduates." I smiled involuntarily. He truly was amazing.  
  
"That's great." I replied not knowing what else to say.  
  
"Yeah. He's something. Park Yoochun." He continued. I nodded.  
  
"He sure is."  
  
"He's so opposite from his brother though." Minwoo continued. "Junjin is great too... in his own way."  
  
"He is." I nodded again, not knowing where this conversation leaded me to.  
  
"Do you like him?" I quickly turned to Minwoo.  
  
"Who?" I asked.  
  
"You tell me." He smiled. I smirked.  
  
"Park brothers are great." I said.  
  
"I asked you openly, why don't you answer?" Minwoo interrupted.  
  
"We're just friends." I shrugged and looked down.  
  
"But you want more then that with one of them."  
  
"It's really none of your business Minwoo." I replied, slightly rudely.  
  
"Eric, I'm just making a conversation." He said raising his hands in defeating manner. "I thought we were friends."  
  
"We are... I just don't like someone pressuring me into admitting something." I replied. "Marshy! Come here!" I called my dog. "Especially when it's someone who's close to one of the people we're talking about."  
  
"Alright. Fair enough." Minwoo nodded. "We're going home?"  
  
"Yeah." I nodded as well and we started walking home.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked out of the bathroom, my towel wrapped around my waist and went into my room. I looked around, satisfied with the way the room looked. I unpacked, settled everything, but I knew it won't last long since Yoochun was coming soon. The room will look like a mess by the time night comes, but at least for now it looked perfect.  
  
I walked up to the window and looked outside. Eric, Minwoo and Marshmallow were coming back from their walk. Eric said something to Minwoo and went inside, leaving the hot bastard and the dog outside. Minwoo looked down at Marshy and smiled, then kneeled down next to her and started to caress her head. He got up and started playing with her.  
  
I leaned on the wall next to the window and smiled, watching them. Watching Minwoo playing with that adorable big dog, enjoying every moment spent with her, like some little kid. Minwoo was laughing, he was having fun and this was probably the first time he didn't look like a pervert while doing it.  
  
Lee Minwoo you're such a riddle. I don't understand you at all anymore. Who are you?  
  
I got lost in my thoughts, still watching them play, enjoying the sight before me, smiling like an idiot. Suddenly, Minwoo looked up at me. He was surprised to see me for a second, but then he smiled. Genuinely smiled. I quickly moved away from the window.  
  
Confused... caught... I didn't know what to think. Nor do. Don't let me go down...  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
We all gathered around the table in the dining room. Jae helped Hyesung with the dinner and we were all anxious to finally eat. I didn't know about the rest of them, but I was craving. For food, not Kim Junsu.  
  
I sat down between Jaejoong and Junsu, flashing my dear roommate a smile. He scoffed and reached over to get some food. I smirked and followed, satisfied with myself.  
  
We ate, talking occasionally and everything was just fine until the sound of something falling and Marshy barking interrupted us. Eric and Dongwan immediately stood up and rushed out into the hallway. We all followed.  
  
Who ever said this wasn't going to be an interesting winter break?


	28. Chapter 28

Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
Dongwan and I ran into the hallway just in time to see Marshmallow on top of... Yoochun? We stood there for a moment, not knowing what to do. Marshy licked Yoochun's face happily and he was laughing and trying to get her off of him. I could hear the rest of our friends come behind us and look at the scene.  
  
"Eric... do something. It's your dog." Dongwan finally said, nudging me slightly.  
  
"Marshy!" I called finally and stepped closer, grabbing my dog and pulling her off Yoochun. She barked happily and obediently sat down next to my leg. I stepped forward again and helped Yoochun stand up. "Yoochunah, I'm so sorry."  
  
"Thanks." He replied standing up, but didn't pay attention to me. "Don't apologize, she's adorable!" he said smiling broadly and kneeled down in front of Marshmallow, caressing her head and back. If she was a cat she'd purr, that's how contented she looked.  
  
I watched the two of them smiling brightly. Yoochun focused on her, he started playing with her right there, forgetting about all of us. He liked her. And my baby enjoyed the attention he was giving to her so much, she was melting. He had the same effect on her like he had on me. I was so proud of my dog at that moment. She managed to do something I wasn't capable of. She managed to enchant Yoochun.  
  
A couple of minutes passed as all of us watched them, but then Junsu broke the silence.  
  
"Well, guys, welcome!" he smiled and, for the first time I noticed JunJin still standing next to the door. Looking at me.  
  
  
Junjin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Eric finally noticed me and gave a small smile. I smiled back the best I could. Yoochun was the centre of the attention again. Eric's attention. It hurt me to see him buying my love's attention with love he was giving to his dog. Especially since I wasn't the one who'd pay attention to animals, who'd play with them and just act like I cared. Yoochun didn't need to act and that annoyed me even more.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I chuckled, finally getting up and looking at Eric.  
  
"So, this is Marshmallow?" I said although I already knew the answer. JaeJoong told me everything about Eric's dog and how much he loved her.  
  
"Yeah, that's my girl." Eric replied looking down at her affectionately. "Sorry, she got you all dirty. I don't know what got into her, she's usually shy around new people."  
  
"Eric." I said looking at him. "Stop apologizing. And it doesn't matter if she got me slightly dirty, I enjoyed playing with her. She's such a beautiful dog." I said smiling down at adorable animal, who was looking up at me, waving her tail. I chuckled again and looked up at the rest of the guys.  
  
"Hey." I said smiling and they all laughed at my dorkiness. Dongwan walked over to Junjin and helped him with our bags.  
  
"You guys must be hungry." Changmin said quickly. "We already started eating."  
  
"Alright, we'll be there in a minute." I replied and turned to Junsu to ask about the bathroom. I glanced at Eric and Marshmallow one last time before going to make myself ready for dinner.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stood behind Eric, watching the whole scene. But unlike the others, I was looking at JunJin. He was struggling to hide his reaction to all that was happening, but I could tell he was extremely jealous of his brother.  
  
What a sick love triangle... Park brothers and my best friend. Where do I fit in that whole drama?  
  
  
Jaejoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
The rest of the evening passed by pleasantly. I kept looking at Minwoo for some reason though. I was so obvious that he noticed and came over to sit next to me.  
  
"You're making this so much easier for me." He said smiling.  
  
"Drop it Minwoo." I replied, not looking at him.  
  
"You were watching me today." He smirked again, reaching over to move my hair out of my eyes and I moved away to avoid the contact.  
  
"Out of curiosity. I thought you were afraid of dogs." I replied simply.  
  
"Marshy is my friend." Minwoo replied leaning against the couch we were sitting on. "She understands me better then most of the people around me." He said quietly, his tone again getting serious. So unlike Lee Minwoo. I have to stop letting him make me change my opinion about him. He paused. "Sometimes I prefer spending time with one dog that truly loves me and appreciates the time I'm giving her, then with people who could turn and stab your back."  
  
"You don't trust people?"  
  
"It's funny you're asking me that." Minwoo replied. "You out of all people, you, who's so careful."  
  
"I trust people." I replied.  
  
"No, you don't." he said half-laughing. "You're so afraid of getting hurt that you don't let anyone approach you." I listened to him with wide eyes. "Did he hurt you that much?" His words were suddenly so sharp, getting straight to the point. I glanced at Yunho, surprised to see him watching us intently.  
  
"No." I replied looking down. I didn't know why I kept going on with this conversation. I rarely talked to Minwoo. Even when we were all friends, spending so much time together. Even then, when we talked it was something totally irrelevant. This was the first time our conversation was this serious. And topic so... tricky.  
  
"So, it's me then?" he sighed. "I'm the one you don't trust." I stayed silent. "See JaeJoong? We're not that different afterall." He paused again. "Sometimes you have to take the risk to get what you want. Or to make things better. To live. Getting hurt is part of living too." He finished getting up. "I'm tired guys, I'm going to bed." His words traveled to my ears, but I didn't register them anymore.  
  
Getting hurt is part of living to. Should I take the risk?  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
The day was finally over. I was so tired, I couldn't wait to go to bed.  
  
Dongwan and I finally made up. More or less. Enough for him not to stay in the living room, but sleep with me instead.  
  
  
Flashback  
  
I broke down. I didn't want anything from him anymore, I didn't want him to touch me, to call me, to comfort me. I didn't need anything from Dongwan. Or that's what I wanted to believe in. I cried so hard I finally gave in, letting him bring me to his arms.  
  
He was trying to calm me down, repeating my name and rubbing my back in a soothing manner, but I was acting like a spoiled brat I am. Finally he lifted me up and brought me inside and upstairs to his bed who was supposed to be mine during this winter break. Just mine. I cried harder.  
  
"Sungie, please, please tell me what's wrong." He said pushing my hair from my face and brushing my tears away. It was pointless as new tears replaced them as soon as his hands moved away. "Stop crying and talk to me. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for... everything..." he said hugging me again.  
  
"Wannie..." I sobbed, but started to calm down, knowing that I had to tell him something. "Dongwan..."  
  
He released me and looked at me, waiting for that explanation.  
  
"I should be sorry." I said looking down as I wiped the rest of my tears. "I... I was so selfish." I said, knowing it was truth. This was it. I'll have to accept it even though it hurts. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't tell you simply because I couldn't say it myself." I continued. "I'm pushing you away... because I don't know what else to do... Ever since Minwoo and I broke up you've been there for me more then usual. You've been taking care of me and it's just not fair to you. It's not fair to me either." I said. He was looking at me, still confused.  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
"I'm saying that you must have someone by your side. I'm too attached to you, I'm burdening you and I'm not helping myself." I let it all out.  
  
"Hyesung..." he started. "You're not burdening me, I have you and I'm happy because of that."  
  
"But... You won't be there for me forever and I don't want to... I already need you too much." I cried.  
  
"Who said I'll ever leave you?" he chuckled. "Don't cry, silly. You're so... I can't believe this. I need you too, what would I do without you?"  
  
"But..." I still fought, not wanting to believe it. "But you'll have someone who'll make you happy, you already need that someone."  
  
"Stop." He said finally and hugged me again. "You already make me so happy. I don't need anyone else."  
  
End of Flashback  
  
  
He calmed me down. I changed into my pajamas and got into the bed, thinking about it all.  
  
"Are you okay now?" Wannie interrupted my thoughts as he pulled the covers and got in the bed as well. I nodded and he opened his arms. I snuggled into him, closing my eyes.  
  
Let's not change this, Sungie. Just... relax and forget about it. Tomorrow is another day.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"So, this is the bed." I smirked looking at the big bed in front of me. I'll be able to sleep in it. Of course I will. With Kim Junsu.  
  
"Yep." He nodded not looking at me, but taking his clothes off. I nodded as well, taking some stuff out of my bag.  
  
By the time I was done with unpacking he came back from the bathroom. It was my turn to shower and change. As I stepped back into the room he was already in the bed. I sighed and walked up to him. I pulled the covers.  
  
"Woah!" I exclaimed, turning away from him. "Whoever told you not to sleep in pajamas?"  
  
"It's my room and my bed." He replied. "I'm used to sleep in nothing but boxers. If you don't like it there's always floor."  
  
I looked down. Cold floor. Not good option.  
  
"Move." I simply said and he rolled to the other side of the bed. I slipped in silently. "If you try something..."  
  
"Don't think so high of yourself. For a change." He muttered.  
  
"I'm not thinking high of myself, you just... We both know what kind of a horny bastard you are." I replied looking at him.  
  
"Who are you calling horny bastard, jerk?"  
  
"You. It's the truth."  
  
"Why you..."  
  
"We both know what happened... numerous times." I cut him off.  
  
"Again, you're taking credits for that..."  
  
"Of course." I smirked and he sat up, glaring at me.  
  
"What now? You're saying it's not truth?" I asked after a couple of moments of staring at each other.  
  
"Of course it's not."  
  
"Yeah right." I scoffed.  
  
"It's not!" he was getting angry. I chuckled.  
  
"I can always prove you wrong."  
  
"Yeah right." It was his turn to scoff.  
  
"Are you daring me to do it?" I asked.  
  
"You just can't resist me." He said. "You want to touch this sexy body of mine."  
  
"Sexy body, my @ss."  
  
"You said it yourself."  
  
"No, that was you." I replied. "I have a proof for that too." I said pointing to my cell phone, resting next to the bed. He blushed and sink back onto the bed.  
  
"Bastard..." he muttered.  
  
"But you want me." I replied laying down as well and turning my back to him. He didn't reply. I smiled, satisfied with myself.  
  
Silence. He's taking too long for a comeback.  
  
"Junsu?" I turned around. He was facing me, already asleep. I smiled again, watching him. He looked like an angel. Key word is 'looked'. God knows he is not one.  
  
I licked my lips and reached to touch his cheek, but stopped myself.  
  
How am I gonna fall asleep now?


	29. Chapter 29

Junjin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Good morning!" Yunho smiled as I entered the kitchen.  
  
"Good morning." I replied smiling back.  
  
"Want some coffee?" He asked as I walked by him and sat down.  
  
"Coffee is a must." I smiled as he chuckled and poured me some. He handed me the cup and sat down across from me.  
  
"How are you?"  
  
"Fine, thanks." I replied a little bit surprised with his question. "You?"  
  
"Great." He grinned, lighting up the room.  
  
"Where is everybody?" I asked.  
  
"Sleeping." He replied. "I like waking up before everyone else. You can feel the peace in such silence." He said sipping his coffee slowly. I smiled, understanding him perfectly.  
  
"Are you saying you didn't get up to feed the dog, because Eric likes to sleep longer?" I joked.  
  
"That too."  
  
Sunrays filled the kitchen as we laughed. I felt really happy for the first time since I got here.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
Breakfast. Dongwan was sitting between Eric and Yunho.  
  
Yunho.  
  
I watched them talk and laugh, have fun together. I was pretending like I was a part of conversation, but I had no idea what they were talking about. I could only watch the two of them. It hurt.  
  
"Sungie? Hyesung?" JaeJoong called me.  
  
"Huh?" I blinked, looking at my friend. "Sorry Jae, you said something?"  
  
He looked at me weirdly, but didn't say anything.  
  
"Uh... can we talk later?" he asked instead.  
  
"Yeah, sure." I nodded and drank more of my juice, trying not to pay attention to Yunho and Wannie.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I snuggled closer into his chest, a contented smile once again appearing on my lips. I sighed happily and hugged him tighter, gently moving my hands up and down his back. I loved being pressed against him like this. I loved the feeling of his arms against my exposed skin and heat they were spreading through my body. I loved the fact that his lips brushed against my forehead and his manhood poked my thigh every time I moved into a more comfortable position, closer to him.  
  
I moved again, placing my head to the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. He smelled amazing, just the way I liked it. Just the way I liked my Shim Changmin. I kissed his hot skin, traced my tongue over naked flesh, then bit softly as I moved my arms around him, holding him tighter. Somehow, this felt... too real.  
  
"Don't leave a hickey." And now he speaks?  
  
Slowly, I opened my eyes. Tanned skin. I closed them again. Slim figure, my fingertips against heat. Strong arms around me. I'm still dreaming.  
  
"This is not a dream." Who tells you it's not a dream when it really isn't? Of course it is. Who are you to decide if it is? It's mine, I should know.  
  
"I'm the object of your desire." Pfft... yeah right. Make me laugh some more.  
  
"I am serious... you want me." Oh, now that sounds familiar.  
  
"You want me." Okay, okay, I got it.  
  
"You want me." Are you a broken record or something?  
  
"I'm the object of your desire." Yeah, been there, done that.  
  
"You want me." Moved on from there too.  
  
"You so want me." Man, get over it already.  
  
"You so want me... and my sexy body." Shim Changmin messed with my head again.  
  
"You can call me that too." Oh, so you do have a name. It's nice to meet you. Kim Junsu here.  
  
"Sexy Kim Junsu?" One and only.  
  
"Mmm... we already met." No sh.it.  
  
"Do you remember?" I'd prefer to forget.  
  
"It didn't sound like that a moment ago." It was my worst nightmare.  
  
"And here I thought it was a wet dream." Oh please.  
  
"You certainly got that baby aroused." Who's the baby now?  
  
"We're not playing that game now, Junsu." No? Why not?  
  
"It's all in the past. I rule the game now." And what's the name of the game?  
  
"Wake up Junsu." What a lousy name.  
  
"Then how about... Busted." That's not funny.  
  
"It's not." Changmin?  
  
"The object of your desire is serious." Min?  
  
"Wake up Junsu." Minnie?  
  
Minnie?  
  
I'm dreaming.  
  
Silence.  
  
Am I?  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched him intently. Oh man, this was so hard. Come on, jerk, open your eyes already. Can he read my thoughts now? Cause he did just what I asked for.  
  
And screamed.  
  
"Idiot!" I yelled back at him, covering my ears. "What did you do that for?"  
  
"You... you... you did it again!" he yelled back.  
  
"Did what?"  
  
"Molest me!" I laughed outright.  
  
"You're crazy, you came to me. I told you it's not your first time!" I replied. "More like third." Not that I minded. He gaped at me. "And you're such a dork, dreaming about me!"  
  
"You... you..." and then his eyes traveled down my neck. He shut up as the realization hit him. "Oh my god." He whispered and practically fell off the bed. Getting up as quickly as he could he ran out of the door and into the bathroom. I sighed, laying back down.  
  
Why didn't you believe me the first time I told you? You so want me Kim Junsu.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into the kitchen to help Hyesung with preparing the lunch. I wanted to talk to him anyway, so this was a good opportunity. Eric and Junjin went for a walk with Marshy, Yunho and Dongwan were talking in Yunho's room, Yoochun was finishing his last song with the help of Minwoo, Changmin and Junsu and Donghae and Heechul simply disappeared somewhere.  
  
We were alone, finally.  
  
Hyesung smiled as I joined him.  
  
"What's up?" I asked.  
  
"Nothing." He shrugged.  
  
"Hm." I replied. That didn't sound like Hyesung. Short answer. "Really?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Okay, let me change the question. What I meant was... what's up with you and Dongwan?" I asked again and then quickly added. "And don't you dare say it's nothing or you don't know what I'm talking about because I'm not that dumb. I know you well. Maybe too well."  
  
"Argh... you're awful, you know?"  
  
"I know." I nodded and we both chuckled.  
  
"I think... no, I know that Dongwan has a boyfriend."  
  
"What?" I asked looking at Sungie. I couldn't believe what he was telling me.  
  
"He has a boyfriend."  
  
"No, he doesn't." I laughed. "You think you got me."  
  
"I'm serious Jae." He continued with it and I got serious again. "He has a boyfriend. I saw them together."  
  
"You what?" I yelled. He covered my mouth.  
  
"Shhh. You want them to hear you?" he panicked.  
  
"Them? Wait, you want to say that his boyfriend is in the house now?" I asked. Hyesung looked down. "Oh my god. Who?" He didn't reply. "Who Hyesung? Tell me."  
  
"Yunho."  
  
  
Junjin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Eric opened the door to the house, letting Marshmallow in first. I trailed behind. It was funny how Marshmallow seemed to be in the spot I thought would be reserved for me. Or was it Yoochun?  
  
  
Flashback  
  
Park was pretty crowded. Kids and dogs could be seen everywhere and cheerful atmosphere influenced my mood. As we trailed after Marshmallow I felt like a kid myself.  
  
"Jin, I wanted to ask you..." Eric started and I looked up at him, flashing him a smile. "... what's Yoochun like?"  
  
My face immediately fell down, but I managed to keep the smile on.  
  
"What do you want to know?" I asked carefully. It hurt damnit.  
  
"Well... oh man, this is kind of hard..." he chuckled nervously. He was so adorable. But he's also asking me about Yoochun. "But since you're his brother I guess it would be the best to tell you." He continued. I braced myself. "You see... I kind of... like him."  
  
Punch.  
  
Three... Two... One...  
  
I survived.  
  
"You... you do?" I asked, stuttering slightly, then swallowed. You are right Eric, this is kind of hard.  
  
"Yeah." Eric nodded. "He's just... so, so amazing..." he continued and his eyes suddenly lit. Oh how amazing he looked. Talking about Yoochun. "He's just perfect..."  
  
Punch.  
  
Three... Two... One...  
  
I survived.  
  
"But of course, you already know that." Eric chuckled again and looked at me. "I just... I like him so much... heck, I don't even like him, I love him." He said stopping and looking straight into my eyes. "I love him Jin."  
  
Knock out.  
  
Three... Two... One...  
  
I survived. Nothing can be worse then this.  
  
"Why did he reject me, though?" Eric said looking down. "I don't know what I did. I don't know... Maybe he just doesn't like me. It just hurts so much."  
  
I agree Eric, it hurts.  
  
"What should I do?" He asked me. He was asking me what he should do to get my brother's affection. He was asking me! Out of all people.  
  
"Nothing Eric. Absolutely nothing."  
  
End of Flasback  
  
  
Yunho yah... I need you.


	30. Chapter 30

Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched Junsu, furiously running from one room to another and collecting all the pillows he could find, that weren't needed in other rooms.  
  
"What are you doing?" I asked as I followed him.  
  
"Shut up you... you... gay molester of straight guys." He barked back at me.  
  
"You went crazy." I replied nonchalantly.  
  
"Rapist." He muttered under his breathe. I heard him well, but chose to ignore it. I was tired of this. It wasn't even a game today. He was just snapping nasty words at me and didn't respond to any of my teasing. It just wasn't fun anymore.  
  
Junsu gathered all the pillows and went back to our room. He dropped them on the bed and started putting them in line in the middle of the bed.  
  
"Are you building a fortress?" I chuckled, crossing my arms and watching him. "Can I be the princess?"  
  
"I'm making sure you don't approach me ever again." He replied.  
  
"You mean, you're trying to prevent yourself from jumping me again?" I corrected.  
  
"That too." He replied quickly, then stopped as I started laughing. "I mean..."  
  
"Don't bother, it's already late." I chuckled. He turned around.  
  
"You're driving me crazy!" he cried.  
  
"That's the point." I replied. "Aren't you happy?"  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I started laughing.  
  
"Oh come on, Sungie, you don't honestly believe Yunho and Dongwan are together." I said. The thought was ridiculous.  
  
"I'm telling you, I saw them." He said seriously.  
  
"What did you see? Did you see them make love?" I laughed. Why not joke about it a bit?  
  
"No." he glared at me.  
  
"Kiss?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Hug?" I tried again.  
  
"No."  
  
"Not even hug?" I repeated. "Aww... but Sungie what did you see then?"  
  
"I heard them say 'I love you' to each other." He said finally.  
  
"I love you."  
  
"What?"  
  
"There I said it. I love you, Hyesung." I repeated seriously.  
  
"I'm serious, Jae, this is not a joke."  
  
"Sungie, we say 'I love you' to each other and that doesn't mean we're in love with each other." I replied. "Yunho and Dongwan... it just sounds ridiculous."  
  
"I'm not stupid Jae. This was different. Yunho... he like... declared his love for Wannie." I thought about it for a moment. Of course.  
  
"Where did this happen?"  
  
"In on of the classrooms in drama department." Sungie replied looking down. I smirked. "I couldn't take it anymore, I followed him there. They were in the middle of a rehearsal."  
  
"Rehearsal you say?" I smirked again.  
  
"You think?" Hyesung's face lit up. "But... that's impossible. They sounded so real." He frowned again.  
  
"I don't know Hyesung... It just sounds unbelievable to me." I replied finally. "Why do you care so much all of a sudden?" I asked something that interested me more. "I mean, you're his best friend. If he's dating Yunho, you should be happy for him, right?"  
  
"I... Jae, you know that I..." he sighed looking down. "I love him."  
  
I hugged him and smiled. He let it out. Finally.  
  
"Yunho and him are just friends. I'm sure." I replied as he held onto me. He needed to hear those words over and over again. Somehow, I just knew that was the truth.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Aren't you gonna miss the feeling of my smooth, tanned skin?" The jerk just couldn't leave me alone.  
  
I was lying on my half of the bed, trying to read. He was lying right beside me, the only thing separating us were those pillows. My 'fortress' as he nicely put it.  
  
"Or the masculine scent of my hot neck?" he was pushing it.  
  
"Or the feel of me poking..."  
  
"Okay, that's enough." I snapped sitting up and looking at him. "You're trying so hard, it makes me think you really want it." I said seriously.  
  
"Of course." He smirked.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"The moment I saw you in nothing but your boxers I knew I won't be able to keep my hands off you." He replied seriously. I scooted away from him. "You're so hot Junsu. So sexy. Especially when you press into me in the middle of the night. How could I ever resist that?" I swallowed, not daring to move. "Now, let's remove these stupid pillows and make it easier to both of us."  
  
"You go and make it easier to you, fag!" I screamed grabbing one pillow and hitting him with it. He started laughing.  
  
"You fell for it again!" I stared at him.  
  
"You're such an idiot." I shook my head lying back down and turning my back to him.  
  
"But you still want me."  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was working with Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin when Yunho walked into the room.  
  
"Hey guys." He said smiling and then turned to me. "Can I interrupt you? Minwoo, I want to talk to you."  
  
"Yeah, sure." I replied standing up. "Let's finish this some other time, Chun, alright?" Yoochun nodded and I followed Yunho out.  
  
"Actually, Dongwan is the one that wants to talk to you." Yunho spoke once we closed the door.  
  
"Okay." I said raising my eyebrow. Mysterious much today?  
  
We walked into Dongwan's room and I smiled as Wannie greeted me. I sat down.  
  
"What's up?" I asked.  
  
"Well... you know I'm gonna start filming my movie after we come back from the break." Wannie started. I nodded. "I was going to ask you to write the music and do the sound. Do you want to do it?"  
  
"Yeah, sure." I said, smiling broadly. I had an opportunity to assist during making some film on my first year and I enjoyed it so much. I was waiting for something like this to come up. "So, what is it about?"  
  
"That's the thing..." Dongwan continued. "You know... I am kind of... umm... in love with Hyesung."  
  
"I know that Wannie." I said still smiling brightly.  
  
"You know?" He looked at me with a shocked expression.  
  
"Why are you so surprised? I thought it's so obvious. Everybody knows." I replied. "Plus, I was implying it so much that night. You know, when Hyesung hit me. I thought you'd get together by now. But I guess I wasn't clear enough to Hyesung." I chuckled shaking my head.  
  
"You did that on purpose?" Yunho spoke for the first time since we started talking. I nodded.  
  
"Why is everyone around me so dense?" I asked laughing. "I always knew you were the guy for him, I was just selfish and I thought that I'll be able to replace you in his life. But you stayed his best friend and his... well, everything really. It was always 'Wannie this, Wannie that.' I was jealous and... well, we all know I'm the jerk in our little group." I chuckled.  
  
Yunho and Dongwan were looking at me like it was the first time they see me. Oops, I guess I shocked them.  
  
"You..." Dongwan started, I smiled. "I had no idea..."  
  
"Yeah, well, I wanted to keep it that way." I chuckled.  
  
"So, you left Hyesung, because of Dongwan?" Yunho asked.  
  
"No, I left him because I found someone else." I replied.  
  
"Jaejoong?" Yunho instantly asked again.  
  
"I told you I'm the bastard." I chuckled.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Well, I'm not so sure anymore." I laughed. "I just don't really understand you."  
  
"No one does." Minwoo replied. "That's actually something I'm proud of."  
  
"You're weird."  
  
"No, just vulnerable." He sighed.  
  
"You? Vulnerable?" I asked. "Come on... you expect us to believe it?" After everything you did to Hyesung...  
  
"I know you're thinking about Hyesung, but I knew he'd survive. He had Wannie. It was just a matter of time, for him to realize who he really wants. If I waited for that, if he was the one to break up with me I wouldn't have had anyone to go to." He said seriously.  
  
"I'm sorry Minwoo, I just realized I didn't know you at all." Dongwan said.  
  
"It's not your fault." Minwoo chuckled again. It was his way of handling serious situations. Laugh and make the tension go away. "I don't like showing real me to the world... So, please, this is staying between us, right?" Both of us nodded and we sat in silence for a moment. "So, I'm guessing movie is about you guys." Minwoo asked smiling.  
  
"Yeah." Wannie nodded. "Yunho is actually playing me."  
  
"Oh my, don't tell me Eric is Hyesung." Minwoo asked. As we nodded he started laughing really hard. We joined him. "Oh, this made my day."  
  
"Yeah, well, imagine me. I have to kiss him!" I replied making a face and then continued laughing.  
  
"I'm sorry Minu, your character in the movie is not... so good." Wannie suddenly said, looking down.  
  
"You mean, he's a bastard." Minwoo smiled.  
  
"Well, pretty much, yeah."  
  
"Sounds perfect." Minwoo laughed. "I have to keep the image. Who got the part?"  
  
"You know Kim Ryeowook?" I asked.  
  
"The freshman hottie?" Minwoo grinned looking from me to Wannie. "Oh, I love you Dongwan."  
  
"So, you're gonna do it?" Wannie laughed.  
  
"Like you needed to ask."  
  
Lee Minwoo. No one really knew him, understand him. I've been calling myself his friend and I had no idea who he really was. While we were thinking he was a cocky bastard, a player, he was simply afraid. Afraid of commitment, afraid of getting dumped, afraid of being alone. It was easier to prevent it. It was easier to be faster and do it first. Even if it meant hurting other people. Yes, he was selfish, but... I could finally understand him.


	31. Chapter 31

JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"... and then you add milk... like this." I continued, pouring some milk into my soon-to-be great cake. Heechul stood next to me, following my every move.  
  
"Are you writing that down, baby?" He turned around to ask his boyfriend.  
  
"The things I'm doing for you..." Donghae sighed, but continued writing. Heechul grinned and turned back to me.  
  
"Okay, then what?" He asked, anxiously looking at me. I laughed.  
  
"You're really enjoying this?"  
  
"You have no idea." Donghae answered instead and both Heechul and I laughed.  
  
Eric walked into the kitchen.  
  
"Hey guys, did you see Marshy?" He asked, slightly panicking.  
  
"Yoochun took her for a walk." I replied, mixing the ingredients. "Take over." I said to Heechul, handing him the spoon. I looked at Eric. "Don't worry, she's just fine."  
  
"I'm not worried." He said smiling brightly. "So, Yoochun took her you say?"  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
Marshy ran back to me, tennis ball in her mouth.  
  
"Good girl." I grinned, taking the ball and throwing it again. I watched her run after it and a minute later she was running back to me again. I kneeled down, caressing her head and looking into her eyes. "Hey there, beauty." I smiled as she licked my hand. "You know I haven't had such a fun time in a while." I continued.  
  
I sighed. It was funny how being with this dog gave me comfort. Marshy made me laugh, made me happy. Maybe because she reminded me of Eric. She was my link to Eric. I have to stop thinking about him.  
  
"You're just like your owner." I said to her. She titled her head, looking at me. I chuckled. "Adorable."  
  
I stood up and we started walking back home. I needed to talk to someone.  
  
"You know, Marshy, I'm in love with your daddy." I chuckled at my choice of words. I sounded like Eric. "Too bad I have to pretend like I don't care. I have to do it for my brother, you know." I continued, sadly kicking a rock that got into my way. Marshy barked. "What do you say? I don't have to do it? Oh, but I do."  
  
I sighed again. "He's my brother. And he likes Eric too. Family comes first you know... although I'd give everything to hold him. Even just for a moment." I said glancing at Marshy, who was walking beside me. What a pair we were... "So, I'm lying to Eric. I'm avoiding him and pretending like I don't want to have anything with him." I paused. "Why are you hanging out with me, I'm too depressive to keep you company." I laughed as we reached the house.  
  
"Okay, you can't tell Eric anything I just said to you." I stopped to look down at her. She barked again. "It's a secret. You promised." I smiled and opened the door to let her into the house.  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
"There you are." I smiled, looking down at Marshy, who happily barked and jumped up at me. I hugged my dog and she sat down, against my leg as I looked over at Yoochun.  
  
"You don't mind? I took her for a walk." Yoochun asked taking off his jacket.  
  
"Jaejoong told me." I replied. "Of course I don't mind. I'm happy you guys are getting along." Yoochun smiled walking over and patting Marshy's head.  
  
"Great." He replied looking at me. "So, what did guys plan for us today?" he asked walking further into the house. "And where is everybody anyway?"  
  
"Hyesung sent Minwoo and Dongwan to buy some things he needs for dinner, Yunho and Junjin are somewhere in the house, Jaejoong, Heechul and Donghae are in the kitchen and Junsu and Changmin are still sleeping." I replied.  
  
"Of course." Yoochun said. Changmin and Junsu always wake up last.  
  
My love walked into the kitchen and I followed.  
  
"Oh, you came back." Donghae said smiling and putting the pen down.  
  
"Who told you to stop?" Heechul asked looking at his boyfriend.  
  
"You're a beast." Donghae glared back at him, then pouted and started writing again.  
  
"Did you have fun?" Jae turned to look at Yoochun and then Marshy, who was peeking into the kitchen, knowing she's not allowed to enter.  
  
"Yeah, we had a great time." Yoochun grinned beautifully and I smiled as well, glancing at my Marshy and mouthing 'good girl'. She waved her tail and turned to go for a nap in the corner. "I could easily get used to living with her. She's such an angel." I was so proud and happy.  
  
"I see you got new best friend." Jae sighed, pretending to be hurt and turned back to his cake. Yoochun laughed and walked over to him, hugging him from behind.  
  
"Jealous?" he asked. I knew I was. Jae got a hug that I could only dream about.  
  
"Go away and hug your Marshy." Jae replied, trying to suppress laughter.  
  
"Oh, I will." Yoochun laughed, releasing Jae.  
  
"She's taking a nap." I said.  
  
"So, Chunnie can't disturb your princess?" Jae asked. "You're such a dork when it comes to that dog." He laughed.  
  
"He's such a dork period." Heechul corrected and I pouted.  
  
"Why don't you hug Eric instead?" Donghae said suddenly. Jae stopped what he was doing and looked back at us, then at Donghae. Heechul stayed silent and I looked at Yoochun, who seemed to be frozen to the spot. "What? It's the same as hugging his dog."  
  
Donghae laughed at his lame joke. Heechul joined him and Jae looked like he tried to laugh too. Yoochun glanced away and I just stood there. Feeling like an idiot.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yunho..." he knocked on the door and walked in without waiting for my response.  
  
"Yeah?" I asked glancing up to look at him. I put away the script instantly.  
  
"Can we talk? I didn't interrupt you?"  
  
"No, no, it's okay. Of course we can talk." I smiled, patting the bed, motioning to him to sit down.  
  
"Thanks." He said walking over and sitting down. I waited for him to start talking. "I know that we agreed that I won't talk about... him..."  
  
"About Eric." I interrupted. "You can say his name, he's my best friend. And it's not that I said that you couldn't talk about him, I just..."  
  
"Yeah, alright, you know what I mean." He cut me off. I decided to keep quiet and hear what he had to say. "I just have to say something. I... I don't know what to do with myself anymore." He said looking down. I felt my heart sink, watching him like this. He paused and I waited patiently.  
  
"He talked to me. He... rejected me." I listened in shock. How come Eric didn't tell me anything? "Well, it's not like we talked about me liking him or anything. Actually, he wasn't even aware of what he was doing to me with that talk." So, he said something else. "He told me he loves Yoochun." Junjin finally spit it out and looked down.  
  
I didn't know what to say. I understood why Jin used word 'he' though. He wasn't able to say Eric's name after what happened. It must've hurt him too much to do so. Afterall, he found out that his crush is in love with none other then his own brother.  
  
"He loves Yoochun!" he yelled suddenly, startling me. "Yunho, I... I don't know what to do now." He looked at me.  
  
"I don't think you can do anything." I sighed. "You'll just have to accept it. I hate for telling you this, especially since I know you don't need to be told, you know it already. And I know it hurts and you'd like to change it somehow, but you just have to accept it."  
  
"I don't know what to do with myself. It just hurts so much." He whispered. He looked like he was gonna start crying any moment now. I quickly pulled him into my arms, muffling his sob with my chest. "I don't want to give up... I don't want to accept it..." he cried, holding onto me.  
  
I rubbed his back silently, letting him cry it all out. It took something like this to hold him in my arms. I kept asking myself: where the hell do I fit in?  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
Cold woke me up. I kept having weird, pointless dreams that either upset me either made me even more tired. I was sick of it, sick of this feeling that surrounded me. I was so... lonely.  
  
I looked around me. It must have been pretty late, but I couldn't care less. Finally, I glanced at the pillows on my left side and further, at Changmin. He was sleeping quite peacefully, facing me. He was so... beautiful.  
  
I bit my lip and sat up, then carefully leaned over the pillows, closer to Minnie. I smiled as my face inched closer to his and, before I could stop myself, my lips landed on his. I tasted him for a brief moment, but then he stirred and I quickly moved away.  
  
I jumped out of the bed and ran into the bathroom. Again. Another round of cold showers.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"It's New Years Eve! It's New Years Eve!" Eric half-sang, half-yelled and I was sure the whole house was preparing to kill him in the next half an hour. It happened every year in dorms, why would this be any different? Just because we were his friends? I was sure it won't help him this time.  
  
"Hyung, will you please stop it?" I begged for millionth time that evening.  
  
"Minnie, you're so... urgh... fine, then, you're majoring singing, you sing!" he replied finally.  
  
"I'm not gonna sing." I laughed.  
  
"See? I gave you the opportunity to outshine me, but you refused. Coward!" he mocked me. Who's the coward now? I smirked, we never finished that game.  
  
Eric started yelling again and I quickly stood up, not being able to take it anymore. As I exited the living room I ran into Yunho.  
  
"Save us all." I said to him and proceeded to the kitchen.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Eric, I think that was enough." I could hear Yunho talking to his best friend in a 'You just made appa extremely angry' way. I chuckled and walked into the living room. Eric was sitting next to the Christmas tree, pouting at Yunho, who was standing not so far away from him. Yunho crossed his arms in an attempt to look scarier. I watched their staring competition for a couple of moments, before they both burst out laughing.  
  
"You guys will never change." I shook my head laughing as well.  
  
"Oh, Sungie, why would we change?" Yunho asked looking at me. "We're perfect as it is."  
  
"Conceited too." I joked back.  
  
"But you love us for that!" Eric added grinning.  
  
"You're right." I nodded. "Dinner is ready boys." I added and smiled as both of them raced to the dining room. I shook my head, suddenly feeling like umma. Scary.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Thanks Hyesung, dinner was great!" Changmin said smiling brightly at Sungie.  
  
"Thanks Minnie." He replied as we busied ourselves to clean up the mess as quickly as possible. "I actually have something up my sleeve."  
  
"You mean, I have." Jae looked at him and Hyesung chuckled.  
  
"You're right."  
  
"I wouldn't call it 'having something up your sleeve'. Most of us already know what it is." Dongwan rolled his eyes and the rest laughed.  
  
"You guys are no fun." Jae and Sungie pouted at the same time, causing us to laugh even harder. "See if you get something now."  
  
"Awww..." Eric said, nudging Yunho, who tried to stop laughing, but it didn't turn out well.  
  
"Sungie hyung, Jae hyung, ignore them! I was a good boy, I deserve it!" Min said innocently. I admired the boy's ability to contain his laughter.  
  
"Good boy... yeah right..." Junsu scoffed and the rest of the guys looked at each other, smirking devilishly.  
  
"Is there a time when you're not hungry, Min?" I asked looking at the tall boy in front of me.  
  
"Let me think about it... no." Changmin replied, grinning, then turned back to Jaejoong. "So, am I getting it?"  
  
"Oh, you'll get it." Heechul replied and the sound of laughter filled the kitchen all over again.  
  
"You perv! I want that cake!" Changmin spat and Jae raised his perfectly shaped eyebrow at him.  
  
"And look at his figure..." Hyesung said to me. "How does he make it?"  
  
"Let's ask Junsu." I said. Guys snickered at that and Junsu threw me a dirty look.  
  
Finally, all the dirty dishes were washed and Jaejoong took the cake out of the fridge. As he and Heechul cut it for us, we went to the living room. Dongwan and Junjin went to get drinks for us and I went to put some music on. I sat down just in time for the cake. Jae, Heechul, Jin and Wannie returned. Everything was ready.  
  
"Okay, let's get this party started!" Heechul smiled raising his glass.  
  
We ate the cake, then stood up to dance. The party got heated as the music filled our beings and the alcohol started kicking in. After about three hours of drinking and dancing, we finally decided to take a break.  
  
"Alright, what are we gonna do now?" Dongwan asked. "Anyone has an idea?"  
  
"We could always talk." Eric said.  
  
"And hear your lame jokes. No thanks." Yunho replied. "Besides, we talk all the time... let's..."  
  
"Let's play a game!" Changmin cut him off.  
  
"Ooh, that could be interesting." I nodded looking at my friends.  
  
"Okay, but what?" Sungie asked. We all shut up, thinking.  
  
"How about... This is gonna sound lame, but since we don't have anything better to do..." Donghae started.  
  
"Oh god... just say it!" We groaned.  
  
"How about... truth AND dare?"


	32. Chapter 32

Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Truth and dare? That's new." Jaejoong laughed.  
  
"Not quite, Jae." Donghae grinned. "I used to play it all the time during high school." He added. "Basically, it's a combination of truth or dare and spin the bottle..."  
  
"Spin the bottle?" Yunho laughed. "Oh my god..."  
  
"Sounds fun!" Changmin cut him off, sipping the rest of his drink. I could tell that he and Junsu were pretty drunk already.  
  
"Anyway..." Donghae continued. "... you don't get to choose. You get the question you have to answer to and then you spin the bottle to see who you're gonna kiss."  
  
"Why is it called truth and dare then? It should be called truth and... spin the bottle." Eric asked.  
  
"Shut up, Eric." I chuckled as Yunho rolled his eyes.  
  
"You treat me like a baby." Eric pouted.  
  
"Oh, baby, that's because you are one." Sungie cackled pinching his cheeks.  
  
"So, you guys wanna play it?" Donghae brought the attention back to him.  
  
"Sure... why not?..." Guys nodded and shrugged and I took one of the empty bottles, placing it in the middle of the circle we formed.  
  
I took my seat, next to Jaejoong and Hyesung and looked at my little dongsaeng who was sitting across from me. Ocassionally, he would lean on either Yoochun or Minwoo, who were beside him and start humming some random song. Our youngest fellows went to far with drinks. I shook my head and glanced at Yunho, who was rolling his eyes in a 'I can't believe I'm doing this' way, obviously thinking this was too immature game for twelve grown-up man to play. I chuckled as Eric nudged him again and flashed his dorky grin at him, causing both Junjin and Yoochun to laugh. Heechul was whispering something to Donghae, while we waited for Changmin to come back from the bathroom.  
  
"I'm ready guys!" he said excitedly and sat between Jaejoong and Heechul.  
  
"Good, let's start then." I smiled.  
  
"Ooh, let me first!" Minwoo said quickly and we all looked at him. "Okay..." he looked at each one of us and landed his gaze on Hyesung. "Sungie... I can call you Sungie, right?" he grinned. Hyesung chuckled and nodded. "Great! I'm glad you still love me." I threw a pillow at him. "Alright, alright... Sungie, if you could spend the rest of your life with anyone in this room, who would that be?" I widened my eyes at the question, but Minwoo winked at me and I quickly looked at Hyesung.  
  
"Wannie, of course." He replied calmly and looked at me. Did I hear him well? Me? I smiled looking away.  
  
"Like we didn't know that." Junsu murmured, but I didn't dare to look at anyone, still trying to process what Sungie just said. He chose me. It filled me with such happiness.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Spin the bottle." Donghae said and Sungie did so. The bottle pointed at Jin and Sungie moved closer to him, gave him a small smile and a quick peck on the lips. Jin pretended to be embarrassed and nudged me softly. What's with all the nudging?  
  
"What is it?" Sungie asked sitting back down next to Wannie.  
  
"You're so pretty." Jin replied and we laughed. I haven't seen him joke like this before. He seemed to be so serious most of the time that I wasn't aware of this side of him. He laughed looking at me and I felt familiar warmth washing over me.  
  
"Donghae..." Junjin glanced away from me and looked at our friend who sat next to his boyfriend. "Are you top?" he asked seriously and we all looked at Donghae curious to find out who played what role in Dongchul relationship.  
  
"Umm..." Donghae hesitated glancing at his boyfriend.  
  
"Tell them." Heechul said placing a hand on Donghae's knee.  
  
"Sometimes..." Donghae replied finally. "But most of the time... no." We snickered looking at Heechul, who leaned to kiss his boyfriend.  
  
"He didn't spin the bottle yet, Heechul." I said and Donghae quickly obeyed, flashing a charming smile at Changmin as the bottle stopped moving.  
  
Heechul moved backwards, allowing two boys next to him to reach forward and kiss.  
  
"That's hot." He commented, watching one of his best friends kissing his boyfriend. As they parted, Minnie smiled at Heechul.  
  
"You want one too?" he asked innocently. Heechul nodded and Changmin came closer to him. "That's against the rules." He added and moved back.  
  
"Always a tease." Heechul shook his head sadly and put his arms around Donghae again.  
  
"Jae!" According to Yoochun, slightly moving away to protect his ears, Junsu was a bit too loud. We all looked at Jae, who looked pretty scared. I would be too if Junsu was looking at me like that. Smirking evilly. Su paused, probably for the effect. We all waited anxiously. "Have you ever been kinky in bed?" Oh god...  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
"What happened to my innocent little dongsaeng?" Wannie shook his head sadly, but we all focused on Jae. I know I was dying to hear his answer. The bare thought was making me throbbing.  
  
"Define kinky." Jae said instead of a reply and Junsu scoffed.  
  
"Toys, role-playing, dirty sh.it... I'm sure you can imagine what I have on mind." Junsu said.  
  
"Oooh baby, care to share with me?" Changmin cackled, but Junsu didn't even look at him.  
  
JaeJoong hesitated, shooting a death look to Yunho, before he straightened himself and replied.  
  
"Yes, I have."  
  
I swallowed as images rushed to my head, instantly sending messages to another part of my body.  
  
"Yunho!" Eric gasped nudging his friend over and over again, as Jae turned crimson and Changmin laughed like a lunatic.  
  
"Will you stop with the nudging already?" Yunho snapped at his best friend and Eric retreated, chuckling slightly.  
  
"Forget about Yunho, Minwoo, honey are you okay?" Sungie snickered looking at me and I quickly nodded. "You don't really look okay."  
  
"Nothing a cold shower can't fix." Junsu nonchalantly waved his hand. "Trust me."  
  
  
Jaejoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I recovered from the embarrassment and glanced at Minwoo. He looked back, but only for a moment. It was just... awkward.  
  
I took the bottle and watched it stop on Yunho. I smiled, feeling myself relax all of a sudden. The question was embarrassing, but I wasn't the only one in this and the face that I was going to kiss one of the people that were the most important in my life, just made it all better.  
  
Yunho smiled back at me and I leaned forward, making our lips touch. The familiar feeling filled me up and I deepened the kiss, letting him to lead me, as always. The kiss was sweet, yet with a hint of passion and I smiled into it, right before we broke apart.  
  
"Good old times, huh?" Yunho said smiling back at me and I nodded happily, returning back to my place.  
  
Good old times. All in the past. I didn't miss them at all.  
  
"Now, I'm gonna ask something that I'm sure everyone wants to know." Donghae grinned mischievously. "Changmin, how did you get that hickey?"  
  
"Junsu gave it to me." Changmin chuckled looking at his roommate.  
  
"Oh, come on, that doesn't count, we all already knew that." Yunho said quickly and Eric looked at him, whispering "We did?" and causing his best friend to put a hand over his mouth. "Ask something else." Changmin glared at Yunho, but then turned back at Donghae, waiting for one more question.  
  
"Alright. Are you still a virgin?" Donghae asked simply and Changmin slightly blushed.  
  
"Yes, I am." He said proudly. We all shut up, not really knowing if he was joking or it was for real, but I wasn't really surprised. Minnie has always been extra sensitive. Guys were always hitting on him, but he didn't like any of them and went out just to kill the time. I knew he waited for the right one, no matter how cliché it sounded.  
  
"Awww that's so sweet!" Hyesung said smiling brightly and we all laughed.  
  
"You're so... umma-like." Junsu said.  
  
"I am, am I?" Sungie made a face and sighed, causing us to laugh some more.  
  
"Can I get my kiss now?" Minnie asked and we all urged him to spin the bottle.  
  
"Great, I'm gonna corrupt the baby of the group." Minwoo rolled his eyes playfully, but Changmin already came up to him, pressing his lips against Minwoo's.  
  
"Baby should stop drinking though." Minwoo said making a face as Changmin giggled and went back to his place. "Seriously, Minnie, you drank way too much."  
  
"You just don't want to admit you liked the kiss." Changmin replied sticking out his tongue and chuckled again, turning to Eric.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Eric, can I ask you a question?" Changmin started titling his head slightly, the way he used to do when he was thinking about something.  
  
"No?" Eric tried, making us chuckle.  
  
"I will anyway." Minnie continued. "How did you realize you were gay?"  
  
"I... I met Yoochun." Eric replied and I looked at him, shocked he said it in front of everyone. And so... freely.  
  
Everyone looked from me to Eric and back to me, expecting some kind of reaction, but I really didn't know what to say. I glanced away and attempted to smile, but I couldn't make it look convincible. I didn't dare to look at Junjin. I just felt horrible. But happy.  
  
Eric didn't wait for the rest of our friends to come to their senses as he took the bottle. I didn't even look at it, but stared at my foot, trying to disappear. A couple of gasps woke me up and I looked at Junsu, who was stupidly grinning back at me. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, but then Eric appeared in front of me. Don't tell me...  
  
"Yoochunah..." he whispered with a small smile and I watched him inch closer. I couldn't escape it now.  
  
I closed my eyes as his lips lightly made contact with mine. It was a feathery kiss, barely touching. It reminded me of that night, of the party and I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. I shivered as his tongue traced my lower lip, asking for entrance and I let him in, only to shiver once more as it came in contact with my own tongue. I had a weird feeling like everything was happening in slow motion. Eric raised his hand and let it rest against my neck and I buried my hand into his hair, not wanting to let this moment end.  
  
We broke apart, slightly panting for breathe and he smiled warmly at me. I swallowed, not knowing what to do again.  
  
I let myself go too far.  
  
  
JunJin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"That was the hottest kiss I have seen in a while." Heechul commented. I finally looked away from Yoochun and at people around me. They looked like they've just watched some great love drama. Yoochun was looking everywhere but at any of us and Eric was blushing slightly, but continued to stare at my brother.  
  
It hurt. It hurt hearing it, watching it, feeling it. Eric was radiating love. But it wasn't directed at me.  
  
I felt a hand squeeze mine and looked down. Thanks Yunho. Thanks for everything.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
I looked from Dongwan to Yunho. Let's help Eric and Yoochun a bit and take the attention away from them. Besides... I need to do this.  
  
"Yunho..." I started and Yunho looked up at me, smiling slightly. "Are you interested in anyone in this room?" I spit out, watching him intently. He chuckled, uncomfortably, making the answer obvious.  
  
"I am." He nodded.  
  
"Ooh, hyung, really?" Changmin said excitedly and JaeJoong laughed, although I knew he was very curious to hear more.  
  
"Care to share?" I asked again.  
  
"I rather wouldn't." Yunho replied and although everyone started pushing him I knew it was pointless.  
  
"You're no fun!" Donghae finally said and Yunho smirked.  
  
"Leave them alone guys, he doesn't want to tell us." Wannie spoke up and I looked at him. Am I right? I glanced at Jae, who was shaking his head. You still don't believe me?  
  
"Let's see..." Yunho said spinning the bottle. To my horror it pointed to Dongwan.  
  
Yunho came closer to us and leaned in. He was going to kiss him. He leaned in, Dongwan smiled at him and closed the distance.  
  
I stopped breathing.  
  
After what seemed like eternity they broke apart and as I inhaled I felt my heart breaking.  
  
  
Junjin's P.O.V.  
  
  
What... what is this that I'm feeling?


	33. Chapter 33

Junjin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Who does he like? Why am I feeling hurt? Why does Yunho kissing some other guy make me feel... jealous? I watched him come back and sit next to me. He smiled taking my hand again and I relaxed slightly, caressing his hand with my thumb. He squeezed my hand in return and I looked at him. He looked so happy. I didn't know what was happening to me.  
  
Suddenly, I realized I completely forgot about Eric.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was so happy. What a great way to spend New Years Eve! Friends, booze, interesting game, the guy you're in love with staring at you the whole night... Woah, stop! The guy you're in love with? Hmm... I guess drink was getting to me.  
  
"Heechul!" Jaejoong laughed, thinking of the question. "Have you ever had sex with someone in this room beside Donghae?" Heechul smirked looking down for a moment, then turned to Jaejoong.  
  
"Yes, I have." He replied. I drank slowly, waiting to hear who was it. "Can you guess who it was?" Of course.  
  
"Minwoo, you're such a wh.ore!" Junjin laughed, hitting his best friend.  
  
"Hey! I haven't had sex with any of you except Heechul and Hyesung. With Heechul it was like... ages ago..." Minwoo started.  
  
"Two years ago." Heechul corrected him.  
  
"Yeah... But Sungie was my boyfriend, so I'm not a wh.ore in that case." Minwoo defended himself as we started to laugh.  
  
"You just admitted you're a wh.ore. You're not a wh.ore in 'that case'." Wannie and Junsu laughed as Sungie shook his head.  
  
"I was the wh.ore in that case." Sungie joked.  
  
"Thank you." Minwoo nodded, then realized what he said. "What? No!"  
  
"Man, you're so busted." Eric laughed and Minwoo pouted, then joined us.  
  
"You guys are so mean." He muttered and we looked at Heechul as he took the bottle.  
  
"Let me kiss it all better." Heechul joked as bottle pointed to him. Moving to Minwoo he gave him a kiss, then went back to his boyfriend. "You're better in bed." He whispered to him, but we all heard it.  
  
"You call it kiss it all better?" Minwoo asked looking at him. Heechul stuck out his tongue. "Immature brat." Minwoo muttered, turning away from Heechul and continuing to laugh.  
  
  
Jaejoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yoochunah..." Yunho started. "Have you ever been attracted to some of Junjin's boyfriends or guys that he liked?"  
  
Tricky question. And I knew Yunho knew it. I looked at Yoochun, who looked slightly pale, looking at his brother.  
  
"Yeah. And he knows it." Yoochun replied. I looked at Junjin, but he was looking down at his hand... which was resting in Yunho's? What exactly was going on here?  
  
"But... didn't you turn gay when you changed schools?" Junsu asked. "That was like... less then four months ago."  
  
"Yeah." Yoochun nodded. We all looked at each other, then at Junjin, who was smiling by now.  
  
"Let's move on, shall we? Yoochun replied to the question. Spin the bottle bro." Junjin said, but I noticed his grip on Yunho's hand tighten. They both knew what was going on. I felt bad for Junjin, after everything that happened tonight. Eric admitting Yoochun turned him gay, that kiss...  
  
Yoochun smiled and leaned closer to Junsu, kissing him. I was surprised Junsu didn't object, being straight and all, but I guess he was pretty drunk to do so. Or was it that he wasn't all that straight anymore?  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
Yoochun... I didn't know what to think. Could it be that he liked me back? But then... Junjin liked me too? Could it be that he didn't want to be with me because of his brother? But... no, it must be some other guy. Minwoo asked me about them though... and that kiss tonight. It was so passionate, he responded to it, I never felt anything like that before... we were one. And I'm sure he felt it too. I... I don't understand anything anymore.  
  
"Eric, want to ask the next question?" Yunho asked me. I nodded.  
  
"Yeah... uh... Wannie." I said looking at Dongwan. He looked back. Question... hmm... "Do you have any regrets?"  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
I sighed. Well, this was something I really wanted to let out. I didn't imagine doing it in front of all our friends, but maybe it was better this way.  
  
"I'm sure you all know I've been working my @ss off this semester. I was either going to classes, rehearsing with Yunho and Eric for my new film or studying. I didn't have time for anything or anyone else. Well, actually, I didn't find time... and it was something that’s been bothering me for a couple of weeks now." I said. "I didn't have time for people that mean the most to me, I had no idea what they were doing, if they were alright. I'm really sorry Junsu. I wasn't a good hyung this past couple of months." I looked at my dongsaeng, who smiled warmly at me. He didn't need to say anything, I knew he didn't look at it the way I was, but I couldn't stop thinking that I wasn't there for him. I turned to Hyesung. "Most importantly I wasn't there for you, Sungie."  
  
"You were there for me." Sungie shook his head, referring to his break-up with Minwoo.  
  
"No, let me finish. When you got sick I couldn't stop thinking about it..."  
  
"It wasn't your fault." Sungie smiled, taking my hand.  
  
"No, you don't understand... Every time I went to those rehearsals I felt like leaving you and it was true, I didn't feel like it for no reason... How many times you wanted to eat together, to go to the movies, to just talk? And I left you every time. Every time Hyesung. I can't believe I did that..." I completely forgot where we were. Our friends were listening to what I was saying to Hyesung and I didn't care anymore. "I can't forget it and I don't want to forget it, since I never apologized for what I did. I can't forgive myself. Not paying attention to my best friend, to the person that means the world to me." I finished looking at him.  
  
He stared back at me and I was afraid he'll start crying, so I quickly grabbed the bottle to spin it. Sungie looked at it and smirked when it pointed at his direction. I still had the impression that we were the only one in the room. I turned to him and he gripped my hand, looking from my eyes to my lips, then leaned in and kissed me.  
  
The kiss was sweet, I always imagined kissing Hyesung would be this sweet. Of course, it was a lot better then anything I imagined. He didn't let go of my hand, but his other hand went around my neck as I rested mine on his waist. Our lips brushed against each other and I felt my heart beating faster as I deepened the kiss. Sungie responded right away and I could feel the undeniable bond that was creating this amazing feeling of perfection and even greater love.  
  
"I love you so much." He whispered into my ear when we broke apart. He hugged me. "Don't ever have any regrets considering your life, there is always a reason for every decision you make and I will always support you and be there for you. Always Wannie."  
  
I buried my face into his neck, kissing it gently and held onto him. I was such a girl, but his words affected me so much, I had to control myself. It was too late anyway, everyone witnessed this special moment between the two of us, but I didn't care. I didn't have anything to hide anyway.  
  
"Thank you." I whispered kissing his neck one last time and pulling away from him. He smiled, straightening himself, but never letting go of my hand.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
I thought my heart will explode the moment those words left his lips. I was the most important person in his life... he was apologizing for not being there for me... Oh but he was there when I needed him the most. And then he kissed me. I had that weird feeling of... dreaming. Like it's not happening to me, like I'm standing there and watching what will happen. But it was all real. He kissed me and it was the most amazing kiss I could only expect to get from him. That I could dream of.  
  
I felt like crying. I was happy, I was so happy... but I knew he wasn't mine. Or was I being a fool?  
  
"Umm... guys..." Heechul started, waking us all from out thoughts. I forgot we were still playing a game. "Let's move on alright?" I was surprised he wasn't cracking up some joke or anything. He was quite serious. "Minwoo, when was the last time you had sex and who was the lucky guy?"  
  
"About four months ago. Hyesung." Minwoo answered right away. I widened my eyes at him. Along with most of our friends.  
  
"Come on, you expect us to believe that?" Heechul laughed.  
  
"It's the truth." Minwoo said seriously. "I haven't been with a guy since Sungie and I broke up."  
  
"I... I simply can't believe it." Eric said shaking his head.  
  
"So, main male bit.ch is sexually frustrated now?" Donghae bluntly asked. We laughed again.  
  
"Thank you for such a colorful description of my love life." Minwoo glared at him.  
  
"You have a love life?" Junsu asked finally.  
  
"You guys... why am I friends with you?" Minwoo sighed shaking his head.  
  
"We're sorry Minu." I started. "But it's really hard to believe that you, out of all people, haven't gotten laid in four months."  
  
"Gee... thanks." He said sarcastically and rolled his eyes. He paused and sighed. "Alright, I understand why you guys think that... but, can't I do stuff differently from time to time?" he asked and looked at Jae. "Maybe there is something you don't know about me, so..." he trailed off, shrugging. Yunho nodded and we all shut up.  
  
"Spin the bottle, Minu." Dongwan said.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
I didn't like that I almost opened to all of them. Yunho and Dongwan were different, they used to be my best friends and I wanted to tell them everything, to let them into my life. I didn't feel that comfortable with the rest of them, even though they were all great guys. I still had the image of a bad guy I held onto so desperately.  
  
Jaejoong. I had to kiss him. I didn't know if the happiness I was feeling could overpower the fear that filled my being. As much as I liked to play around, to joke, to run after him and say that I'll get him... as much as I tried to convince myself that gorgeous, almost perfect Kim Jaejoong will accept me sooner or later... I was still scared. I was afraid that he'll reject me and it'll cause everything I built all these years to fall down in front of me. All the self-confidence, all the things people knew about me, everything Lee Minwoo was trying to be all these years. And most of all, I was afraid that he'll be the one to break something in me, to finally hurt me.  
  
Hesitantly, I moved forward, until I was right in front of him. I looked at him and a couple of moments must've passed, since he felt the need to speak.  
  
"What are you waiting for?" he asked looking back at me. Maybe I imagined it, but I thought I heard excitement in his voice. Just a bit of it, but it was enough to encourage me and I leaned in to kiss him.  
  
It wasn't perfect, but I didn't expect it to be. Jae was tensed and as much as I didn’t want to pull away I was sure it was the best thing to do. But he surprised me. As I slightly moved away he responded to it, pulling me right back in. Our bodies were connected just with our lips, but at that moment I didn't need anything more then that. This was overwhelming enough.  
  
He broke the kiss and looked away and I silently went back to my place. The game continued, but I could finally admit it to myself.  
  
I wasn't the one who was making decisions here. Kim Jaejoong had full control.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I think it's time for my dongsaeng to reply to his question." Dongwan chuckled looking at his younger brother. Junsu smiled anxiously waiting for the question. "Junsu, have you ever kissed a guy?" he asked. He just kissed Yoochun a moment ago. "I don't count Yoochun." He quickly added and we looked at Junsu.  
  
"I..." Junsu started, smirking lightly and nodded. "Yeah, I kissed a guy before." I looked at him, widening my eyes. It was quite a shock, Junsu kissing a guy and then admitting it. Maybe he was gay afterall. "I kissed Changmin." Guys quickly looked at me, while I stared at him.  
  
"Wh-what? We never kissed." I said shaking my head. "I know you want it, but I didn't think you'd dream so much to believe it actually happened." I chuckled nervously, quickly downing the rest of my drink and pouring more.  
  
"No, Min, I kissed you." Junsu said calmly, then chuckled. I looked back at him. How could he say it so carelessly? I was positive I didn't kiss him. I'm sure I won't be able to forget something like that.  
  
"When?" I asked raising my eyebrow. I had this feeling he wasn't lying. He didn't have a reason to lie anyway.  
  
"This morning." He replied, looking away as I just watched him in shock. He kissed me? But... "This morning, I woke up first and you were still sleeping and I just... kissed you." He shrugged, like it was the most normal thing he could possibly do. I didn't say anything, processing it all. Could it be that he actually liked me?  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
Guys didn't say anything and Min looked like he was trying to deal with the fact that I dared to kiss him without his knowledge. I took advantage of the weird moment and took the bottle, spinning it.  
  
"Looks like you'll have to repeat what you did." Wannie laughed. He was starting to annoy me. "It's only fair to Minnie anyway." I swallowed, glancing at Changmin again and finding that he was looking back at me. I moved over to him, hesitating slightly, but he gave a small smile, as if saying 'just get it over with.'  
  
"It's not your first time, why are you hesitating now?" he whispered, leaning closer and pressing his lips against mine, deciding not to wait for me anymore. Maybe it was better that way. My hand found its way to his back and I pulled him closer. The kiss heated, burning up with passion as my tongue found its way to his mouth and my breathing became heavier. It was a lot better then this morning, since now he was responding to me. He titled his head slightly, pulling me even more into it with his hand resting on my cheek. I slipped my hand under his shirt, touching his skin and he let out a deep moan, causing me to shiver.  
  
"Guys..." I heard someone calling us and Changmin quickly pulled apart, looking at Dongwan, who stared at us in shock, along with pretty much everyone in the room.  
  
"This game was such a good idea." Heechul grinned and I blushed, while Changmin started giggling in embarrassment. We were both drunk, of course we got horny and were ready to do stupid things. At least I was. And I wasn't sure how stupid they actually were.  
  
"As time goes by, it just gets better." Donghae nodded looking from Changmin to me and back to Changmin. He got up.  
  
"I-I'm going to the bathroom." He quickly said and went out of the room. We heard him giggle slightly in the hallway, before he went upstairs a moment later. Guys continued talking and after a couple of minutes I excused myself, standing up and leaving too.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Who left?" Hyesung asked, looking around at all of us.  
  
"Hyung..." Yoochun started looking at Junjin. I still had his hand in mine and didn't want to let go. It felt so good, so natural. I smiled, waiting for Yoochun to continue. "What is one thing you can't imagine your day without?" I looked at Junjin, waiting for his answer. He was looking down at our hands and a small smile appeared on his lips.  
  
"Every day from 5 to 6 pm I go for a coffee with Yunho. In the beginning I didn't think that one hour spent at Heechul's will mean so much to me, but I got used to it so much. I really can't imagine my day without that one hour of Yunho, as I call it." He smiled. "Even when we spend that time in silence, just being there and sipping our coffee, it's still the best part of my day."  
  
I watched him, but he didn't look at me. Instead he grabbed the bottle. I felt so special, I meant so much to him and I wasn't aware of it. I thought he was only looking at Eric while I was just... there. I was so much into my thoughts that I didn't even noticed what was going on around me until Junjin squeezed my hand, making me look at the bottle. Eric.  
  
I moved backwards, giving them space to kiss. I controlled myself not to sigh as Eric invaded my happiness again. Junjin leaned in and kissed him. It didn't last long, but it seemed like an eternity to me. I couldn't get angry at Eric, my best friend was clueless. This was just a game. I couldn't get angry at Junjin either, the guy still liked Eric.  
  
I could only be angry at myself, thinking that I had a chance.  
  
  
Junjin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I looked at Yunho when the bottle stopped spinning. I panicked. I didn't want to kiss him after everything that's been said. After him telling me he liked my brother. But I couldn't back away now and Yunho couldn't help me either. I reluctantly let go of his hand and kissed Eric.  
  
Surprisingly, I didn't feel as awful as I thought I will be feeling. I didn't feel anything really. It was like I never liked Eric and that was probably the case. I just thought I liked him. Maybe Yoochun liking him also had something to do with that. I was confused more then ever now and I needed support, I needed someone to talk to. Someone to make it all better.  
  
Once again, I turned to Yunho.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
They kissed. I swallowed, gave a small smile to Donghae and stood up, leaving the room.


	34. The Art Of Making Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's rating is Mature/Explicit! It's a smut scene, so if you're not comfortable with it you can just proceed to the next one.

Junsu's P.O.V.

 

I left the guys to play and went to find Changmin. I went upstairs and just as I thought, there he was, leaning against the wall next to the bathroom. His hair was slightly messed up, his eyes closed, making him look even more sexy.  
  
Hearing that he wasn’t alone he slowly opened his eyes a bit and smirked.  
  
"Su..." he said as I came closer to him and pressed my body against his. I really was too drunk to care about anything anymore. "Kiss me like that again." He said looking down at me. I didn't need to be told, but him saying it made the whole situation that much hotter.  
  
Quickly, I obeyed, pressing my lips against his and almost instantly my tongue met his. I dominated the kiss, he wasn't even trying to reverse the roles as he melted in my hands, threatening to slide down to the floor. I caught him, putting my arm around his waist and he cupped my cheek again. It was like he just continued what we started downstairs. This time, without audience. It was so much better now.  
  
I deepened the kiss, letting the passion take over completely and he moaned once again, gripping my waist with his other hand, pulling me even closer. I broke the kiss, nibbling on his lower lip slightly before pulling away completely. He traced his finger over my lips and gave me a small smile.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Mmm... yeah, like that..." I said as he sucked my finger suddenly. He looked so hot, my hardness already felt trapped underneath my pants. I wanted him so bad.  
  
I launched forward, removing my finger from his lips and replacing it with my own. I took over the control this time, kissing him with such force, he growled. It reminded me of that night when we danced, first time touched like this. Those sounds he was making then, it was the best turn on. And he was making them again.  
  
He moved his hands from my waist down to my ass and thighs and lifted me quickly, making me straddle him. I grinded against him as best as I could, letting him know what kind of effect he had on me, but his own erection surprised me and I moaned even louder, breaking the kiss and throwing my head back.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
Even though he was taller then me, he was so light. He fit so perfectly against me, in my arms. I looked at him as our crotches made the contact through all that clothes and wondered if he could become sexier. His exposed neck was tempting me, so I leaned in and licked the hickey I left two days ago. I smirked, moving down, kissing and nibbling gently.  
  
"Are you trying to leave another hickey?" he asked.  
  
"And more then one." I replied licking his skin again.  
  
"Mmm... good." I smirked and when he moaned again I knew I had to do something. I quickly moved towards our room. He held onto me, breathing into my ear and making me throb. I growled and he bit my ear slightly, wrapping his legs even tighter around my hips.  
  
As soon as I closed the door behind us I practically threw him onto the bed, pushing all the pillows resting on the middle of it and landing on top of him. He looked up at me and smirked, grabbing my shirt and taking it off as quickly as he could. I smirked as well, doing the same to his shirt.  
  
"I don't believe you're a virgin." I whispered kissing his neck again, moving my hands to his nipples, pinching and twisting them gently. He moaned more, leaning into the touch and titling his head to give me better access to his neck.  
  
"I am." He breathed out. "Want to help me with that?" I chuckled, moving down and kissing his chest until I reached one of the nipples.  
  
"What do you think I'm doing?" I replied looking up at him.  
  
"I know you well Junsu." He breathed out again. "You're so selfish... you just want to help yourself." And with that his hands left my waist and moved down, to my crotch. I bucked, causing him to smirk. "See?"  
  
"Min..." I moaned, then sucked his other nipple, already reaching to unbutton his pants. He did the same, leaving me naked a lot sooner then I thought I will be. He took my cock and smirked up at me.  
  
"I guess you're not the baby afterall." He said, but I already took off his pants. No boxers.  
  
"You're quite impressive yourself." I said as I glanced down. "Naughty too."  
  
"Hey, I'm a perv, remember?" he winked up at me and I leaned down to kiss him. He let go of my manhood and wrapped his arms around my neck again. Our members came in contact with each other and I gasped, grinding against him.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I broke the kiss, throwing my head back one more time, before I felt Junsu sliding down and licking my hot naked torso again. I looked down at him when he reached my bellybutton and traced kisses around him, making me shiver in anticipation. His hand moved up my inner thigh and I spread my legs further apart. He looked back up at me.  
  
"Is it okay...?" he trailed off. The fact that he was asking me if I wanted this was touching. I never thought Kim Junsu would be my first. The guy I couldn't stand, the guy that drove me crazy... well, he still drove me crazy... just in a different way. And he cared enough to ask me if I wanted him to stop.  
  
"Do you want it?" I had to ask back. He nodded. "Then I want it even more." I replied, going to giggling mode again.  
  
"Is this a game?" Junsu chuckled as well as he licked his fingers. I throbbed at the sight, until he removed his hand from his lips and a finger traced a circle around my entrance.  
  
"N-noooooo." I began to say, but it came out as a long moan as I closed my eyes, trying to get used to that one finger he inserted into me.  
  
"Minnie, are you alright?" he asked so softly, I had to look at him. He looked so worried and I bit my lip, nodding slightly. Still, he paused, waiting for me. "One finger won't kill me, you know." I joked after a couple of moments, when he finally started moving.  
  
"How about two?" he asked, adding another finger and I winced, trying to relax and get used to the feeling. He was stretching me and as much as it hurt in the beginning, the pain was slowly starting to turn into pleasure.  
  
"Still won't do it." I smirked. He smiled as my face changed its expression and looked down at my throbbing member. Slowly, he licked its length and pulled the head into his mouth, circling the tip in a slow motion, that drove me crazy. I gripped his hair, trying to move my hips up, but he held them with his hand, while the other increased the speed of his fingers. I moaned louder then before, when he found my spot, pressing his fingers lightly against it. At the same time, he took my whole length in and hummed in response. I knew I was already leaking badly.  
  
"God... Junsu..." I breathed out, pulling his hair lightly. "Look at me." I managed to let out and he obeyed one more time tonight. "Let go... please..." I said and he retreated, moving back up.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I let go of him completely and just rested on top of him. I waited for him to say something, afraid that he didn't want this anymore, but he pulled me into another kiss. I moaned this time, wrapping my arms around him and sitting up on my heels, pulling him with me.  
  
"Oh god..." he moaned as we pulled away. He looked down at my manhood and smiled brightly. He moved down and took me in his mouth. I bucked when his hand cupped my sac and started playing with it, while he licked and sucked my cock the best he could. And for a virgin he was more then good in it. I was actually afraid he was going to send me over the edge. It was too soon and I wanted to give him pleasure too.  
  
I wanted to pleasure Shim Changmin. That was new.  
  
I pulled him up and my lips crashed with his in a heated kiss as I helped my saliva-coated cock find its way to Min's entrance. He held onto me as I slowly entered him and I swallowed his moans.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
It burnt like hell, but I wanted it. He was huge and I wondered if I'll be able to walk tomorrow, but I didn't give a damn. I wanted this more then anything. I wanted him so bad, have been for months. Ever since that party. Ever since I saw and heard him react to me like that. And tonight, he was mine.  
  
We pulled apart for much needed air and I held onto him as he was doing his best to control himself and not slam right into me. We paused and I could hear my heart beating furiously in my chest. I looked at Junsu and he was looking back at me. He looked pretty much like on that party, just a lot hotter. He was sweaty again, his hair was sticking to his hot skin and I leaned forward to taste it. I placed wet kisses along his neck and he did the same to me, moving his hands up and down my back, waiting for me to tell him to continue.  
  
I moved slightly and he understood what I wanted. He pulled out slowly and then right back in, building a slow rhythm. I moaned with each thrust as he started moving faster and finally found my prostate again, hitting it each time.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I never knew fucking a guy could be this good. Min was so tight and hot, I was afraid I won't last long. I held onto him as much as he held onto me, trying to feel every inch of him and bring him as much pleasure as he was giving me.  
  
His hands slid down my back and cupped my ass and I grabbed his hips and started pounding into him as fast as I could, making sure to hit that spot in him every time. It was amazing watching him. His tanned skin looked even more tanned under the dim light and he was sweating and moaning, heating the atmosphere even more. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to actually get him.  
  
"Oh god... Su..." he repeated with every thrust. He was whispering my name into my ear, making me burn and go wild from desire. I took his hardness and started tugging him in rhythm with my thrusts. He must've known I was gonna explode soon, since he was doing everything to push me over the edge.  
  
He gripped my ass again and then slipped his hand into the crack, rubbing his fingers against my own entrance. No one ever touched me there and at his simple touch I lost all control I thought I had.  
  
"Changmin!" I screamed, surprising myself and with one final thrust I came hard, filling him with my cum.  
  
Min claimed my lips with his then and breathed "Junsu" in between kisses as he reached his climax as well. I didn't pull out of him as he gave me all he got, coating our chests and my hand with his hot cum. I finally slipped out of him and he whimpered as I leaned down to lick him clean, then went back up to kiss him. He then laid me down and licked my hand and chest, sucking my nipples and turning me on again.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
It was a lot better then I imagined it to be. I came hard and it was Kim Junsu who caused it all. I wanted it to be him. I got him. It was the perfect first time.  
  
"You're such a naughty baby who's not even a baby." he said right before I laid beside him and put my leg in between his. He pulled the covers over us as I looked at him.  
  
"That, I am." I nodded, resting my head on his chest.  
  
"You're finally agreeing with me." he chuckled, rubbing my back with his hand and looking down at me.  
  
"Yeah, well..." I didn’t know what to say.  
  
"And you don't mind me being naked now." he continued, chuckling slightly.  
  
"Mmm... it's great seeing you naked. Having you." I said kissing his chest. "I knew you wanted me..." I whispered. He didn't reply.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
Of course it was true. I wanted him... I didn't even notice him gripping my hair. His big masculine hands resting on my head, his long thin fingers buried in my hair. It was the best feeling ever.  
  
"Happy New Year Su." He whispered and leaned up to kiss me. I smiled as we broke apart.  
  
"Happy New Year Min." I replied as he laid back down. It took him only a couple of minutes to fall asleep.  
  
I stayed awake, thinking about what has just happened.  
  
It was simply amazing.  
  
It was the perfect start of a new year.  
  
It was something that only Shim Changmin could do to me.


	35. Chapter 35

Junjin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Are we still going to play?" Dongwan asked. "Junsu, Changmin and Yoochun left, so..."  
  
"Yeah and it's half past eleven." Jae added glancing at the clock. We all nodded, agreeing that we should stop the game.  
  
"Anyone wants more cake?" Hyesung asked getting up. I nodded and turned back to Yunho. He was still sitting next to me, but it seemed like he was avoiding me. He was doing his best not to look at me.  
  
"Yunho?" I asked, moving closer to him.  
  
"Yeah?" he replied, still not looking at me. I put my hand on top of his, feeling him stiffen, but he looked at me and smiled. He was trying so hard and it was so obvious. "Is something wrong, Jin?"  
  
"No." I shook my head quickly and frowned, looking down. "Can I just... lean on you?" I asked looking up at him. I meant both literally and figuratively. I needed his support. I needed him.  
  
When did I become so attached?  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
Minwoo left to change the music, while I got up and moved to the couch.  
  
"Jae..." he smiled as he walked over to me and stopped in front of me. "Wanna dance?"  
  
I hesitated, thinking about that party two months ago.  
  
"Come on, it's just a dance." He added.  
  
Well... I was drunk then and tonight I made sure not to drink so much. So, it really won't harm me.  
  
"Okay." I replied, standing up and grabbing his hand.  
  
He grinned, putting his arms around me and pulling me closer as we started to dance.  
  
"You still don't trust me." He started. "I don't blame you, I told you that already. It's really... understandable." I watched him.  
  
"Minwoo..." I decided to speak. He looked quite devastated and I felt bad. "I don't know what to say to you. Sometimes you act like a complete jerk and we all know what you did and I just... I don't like you at all because of that." I said looking at him. He nodded looking down. "But sometimes you act and especially speak like a completely different person. You confuse me, I absolutely don't know what to think about you."  
  
"Everything I said tonight and that day when we arrived here and before that, when I came to your and Yoochun's room. It's all true." He said softly, looking back up at me. "I am something else. Most of the guys, including you, don't know the real me. And most of the guys probably never will."  
  
"But then... if you're trying to... to make me like you... why don't you just show that side of you to me?" I asked finally.  
  
"Because you don't trust me Jae." He replied. "You don't want to forgive me for what happened. Hyesung and Dongwan did, so how come you can't?" He was right. I couldn't get over the fact that he left Hyesung just like that, hurting him. Because he decided to chase after me? On some level, I actually blamed myself for that. I felt guilty.  
  
"I just... can't." I whispered looking away from him. He sighed. I understood it then. He was waiting. Unlike most of his flings, something about wanting me made him different. He was actually waiting for me. But I couldn't get over my fear.  
  
"Happy new year." He suddenly said to me.  
  
"Happy new year." I replied leaning down and placing a kiss on his cheek. He let go of me as I stepped back and started hugging the rest of my friends.  
  
I felt guilty and hurt, but most of all, I was scared. I was already falling for him and I knew. If I let go, if I fall, will he be able to catch me?  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Marshy..." I smiled kneeling down and looking at the dog in front of me. "What am I going to do?" she looked up at me, titling her head slightly and I chuckled. "You're clueless, aren't you? But he's your daddy." He'll never be mine. I shut up, caressing the adorable dog and just thinking about it all. I was so jealous and hurt. I knew I had no right. But everything Eric said and did tonight just made me feel worse. Knowing he wanted me as much as I wanted him just made my life seem more miserable.  
  
"There you are." I heard him behind me. He stepped forward, kneeling on the other side of Marshy and looked at me. "Why did you leave?"  
  
"I felt like it." I shrugged. "I wanted to spend some time with Marshy, she's all alone on New Years Eve." I smiled not looking away from the dog.  
  
"Oh, well, maybe I should leave you two alone." He joked.  
  
"Maybe." I whispered.  
  
"Are you mad at me?" he asked suddenly, turning serious again. "I know I might've gone too far with what I said tonight, but... I'm sorry Yoochun."  
  
"I'm not mad at you Eric." I replied standing up to go back to the living room. He stood up as well, stopping me. I could hear guys counting already.  
  
"It's new year." He said. "Can I just... kiss you?" he blushed at that, while I felt my heart aching again.  
  
Slowly, I nodded and he stepped closer, putting his hand on my waist. I rested my hand on his shoulder as he pressed his lips against mine. Closing my eyes I gave in, kissing him back. We pulled away after some time and I stepped back.  
  
"Happy new year." I said.  
  
"Happy new year." He replied. "Yoochun..."  
  
"Don't." I cut him off shaking my head. "Let's just... not talk about it." I whispered turning around and walking back into the living room.  
  
I was weak. I knew I was... but I couldn't resist it. I was terrible, but there will be time when I'll be able to torture myself with thoughts about Eric and my brother. Tonight was just not one of those days.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
I gave all our friends another piece of cake and walked into the kitchen to cut me some. As I took a spoon I glanced over my shoulder and smiled at Wannie, who was leaning against the door.  
  
"Hey." He smiled walking in.  
  
"Hey." I replied, grabbing some cake with a spoon and placing it in my mouth.  
  
He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me from behind. I smiled to myself. Everything he said tonight made me feel amazing. But there was still that doubt. I chose not to think about it for now.  
  
"You know, I still haven't tasted that cake." Wannie said into my ear and I chuckled.  
  
"You're such a liar. You already ate two pieces." I replied.  
  
"Did not. Junsu and Yunho took them from me." Yunho. I frowned.  
  
"So... I was wondering if you would give your bestest friend a piece of it." He continued.  
  
"Of course." I said swallowing a sigh and grabbed the knife to cut some more cake. His hand stopped me.  
  
"I want to share with you." He whispered again and I looked back at him. "Please?" he gave me a puppy eyes look and I smiled nervously, turning around and picking up my plate and offering it to him. "My hands are kind of busy now." He continued, not taking the plate, but instead moving his hands along my waist. "Sungie... come on, give me some of that cake." He whispered kissing my ear and I closed my eyes, trying to control myself.  
  
I took some cake with the spoon and slightly turned over to him, feeding him. It turned me on to see him like that, pressed against me while I was giving him the sweet treat. He closed his eyes, letting out a small moan of enjoyment and I licked my lips, watching him sigh contently.  
  
I ate more cake as well and soon the piece was gone. Wannie rested his head on my shoulder and continued to caress my sides and waist, pulling me even closer. I put the plate down and leaned against him, putting my hands on top of his as he traced feathery kisses along my neck.  
  
"Ten... nine..." I heard the guys counting already. I smiled, turning around, Wannie's arms still around my waist. "Seven... Six..." they continued.  
  
"I love you." I smiled looking at him and putting my arms around his neck.  
  
"Four... three..."  
  
"I love you too Sungie." He replied.  
  
"One!"  
  
We kissed. I buried my hand in his hair as he tightened his hold on my waist. It didn't last long and before I knew it he was looking at me.  
  
"Happy new year." He said smiling.  
  
"Happy new year." I replied, hugging him tightly.  
  
Even if it was just for tonight, even if it meant nothing to him... To me this was the best way of welcoming new year. I decided to enjoy it without questioning anything.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
Junjin was leaning against my chest, my legs were on either side of him and under different circumstances I would be the happiest guy alive. If only he liked me back. But that wasn't the case and I was drowning in self-pity, perhaps for the first time in my life.  
  
I glanced at Heechul and Donghae who were laying down on the couch, making out and looking just so... happy. It made me uncomfortable. Not because they were freely expressing affection in front of all of us, but because they were in love just like me. The difference was that they were happy to be together, while I was spending time with the person I fell for and he was clueless.  
  
"Yunho?" he called me again. I looked down at him. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Of course I am." I lied, smiling and hugging him. I was making myself sick. I was lying, I was doing everything to avoid more pain. I lied to him, but I lied to myself too. And I was feeling like a miserable character from some tv drama. Just... ridiculous.  
  
And just like before, he didn't say a thing. I wanted him to say something. It was so obvious I wasn't alright and maybe I was selfish and totally conceited, but I wanted to hear him ask what's wrong. I wanted him to finally pay attention to me. Of course, he didn't.  
  
"Ten... nine..." Heechul and Donghae stopped kissing and started counting down. Junjin smiled and joined them, while I just waited. I waited for another year to come. At this point I wasn't sure if it'll change anything. I didn't know what to expect from it or what to wish for.  
  
So far, I learned that sometimes there were just some things that you couldn't change no matter how hard you tried. My relationship with JaeJoong was clear example of it. I did my best, it didn't work out. There were some things that didn't depend of me.  
  
However, that didn't mean I'll give up trying.  
  
"Happy new year." Jin said turning in my arms and giving me a kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Happy new year." I gave him a genuine smile.  
  
New year. New start? Changes.  
  
Changmin and Junsu hated them.  
  
Jaejoong and Minwoo were afraid of them.  
  
Dongwan and Hyesung were looking forward to them.  
  
Eric, Yoochun and I wanted them.  
  
Junjin...


	36. Chapter 36

JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yoochun... are you awake?" I asked sitting up in my bed and looking over at Yoochun. He moved to his other side, facing me and yawned.  
  
"No." he mumbled, still not opening his eyes.  
  
"Aaah! You are!" I stood up from my bed and jumped on him.  
  
"Jae!" he groaned, trying to push me away, but I laughed, holding onto him. "Get off me!" he added.  
  
"Awww! Let me kiss you. You'll wake up for sure." I chuckled moving closer to him.  
  
"Aaah... rape!!!" he laughed yelling and pushing me away again.  
  
"You'll wake up the whole house dork!" I laughed again, putting my hand over his mouth, causing him to finally open his eyes.  
  
"Mmm mmph mmm..." he tried to speak.  
  
"What did you say?" I asked innocently.  
  
"What is going on here?" Junjin asked walking into our room. Minwoo, of course followed and then Yunho, Eric, Heechul and Donghae. Great!  
  
"See what you did?" I turned back to Yoochun, removing my hand from his mouth.  
  
"Serves you right." He laughed. "You're still on me." He added glaring slightly and I chuckled sitting back, allowing him to sit up as well. "And you..." he started looking at the guys still standing at the door. "Are you gonna come in or what?"  
  
"Of course we're coming in." Heechul said pushing Junjin and Minwoo out of his way and pulling Donghae with him. He jumped on my bed and Donghae followed, landing on his lap. Minwoo glared at them, then shook his head and came in as well. Junjin, Yunho and Eric followed.  
  
"Did you sleep well?" I chuckled looking straight at Heechul and Donghae.  
  
"We didn't get any sleep." Donghae sighed dramatically, then grinned at his boyfriend.  
  
"Oh man... I didn't need to know that." Eric made a face covering his ears and we laughed. I moved to sit next to Yoochun.  
  
"He's super cute." I whispered to him.  
  
"I know." He sighed softly, looking at his brother who sat next to Yunho. Something was definitely going on there. And I was a gossip quee-king. Damn, what's wrong with me? King. Yes, gossip king. Geez...  
  
"Chunnie, wanna switch places?" Minwoo asked, grinning at me. Yoochun hesitated, looking at me, but then smiled, nodding and went over to Eric. Minwoo moved to sit next to me and put his arm around me.  
  
"Relax, I won't bite." He whispered as I tensed. "Although you do like it kinky..." he laughed as I glared at him. "Alright, sorry... although I'd love to hear more about it."  
  
"In your dreams." I scoffed. "You haven't changed at all."  
  
"But I didn't intend to change. There's nothing to change anyway, I'm just hiding, remember?" he said looking at me. I stayed silent. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"  
  
"Yes, you do." I replied honestly.  
  
"I'm sorry." He said, frowning and started to remove his arm from my shoulder. I stopped him. Just like last night, when he started to pull away from the kiss. I stopped him then. I don't know why, it just felt good. And this felt good as well.  
  
"Don't." I said. He gave me a weird look and hugged me again.  
  
"I'm making you uncomfortable, but you confuse me." He said.  
  
"I'm sorry." I replied this time, looking down.  
  
"Don't be." He said and I nodded, not knowing what else to do or say. Talking about awkward...  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I scooted away from Eric, but that didn't make him stop staring at me.  
  
"You guys are all acting so weird ever since last night." Heechul said and I chuckled nervously. "I'm serious. I guess our little game had some strange effect on you guys." He continued, turning to me. "Like you, for example. Eric basically confessed his love for you."  
  
"Heechul..." Eric started. "That was really nothing... new."  
  
"Then I'm not as informed as I thought I was." Heechul replied smiling slightly.  
  
"You got that right." Yunho laughed.  
  
"Oh, and I haven't even gotten to you yet, Ho." Heechul smiled looking at him. "Since when did you get so touchy with Jin?"  
  
"Chullie, stop teasing them." Donghae laughed looking at Junjin, who quickly blushed. Just then I noticed them holding hands. I don't get anything anymore.  
  
  
JunJin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Heechul really had to go there. I frowned and looked at Yunho.  
  
"Want some coffee?" I asked, getting up.  
  
"Like you needed to ask." He laughed, following me and we left the room and went downstairs. I busied myself making a coffee and he sat down.  
  
"I didn't know that one hour a day we spend together actually mean something to you." He started as I put a cup of coffee in front of him, then got myself one and sat down as well.  
  
"You mean a lot to me Yunho." I replied looking at him. He smiled and looked down at his cup, then took a sip.  
  
"You mean a lot to me too." I smiled satisfied with his reply.  
  
But somehow... it wasn't enough.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
As I opened my eyes a sight of Junsu's gorgeous body greeted me and I smiled, looking up at him. He was still sleeping, looking like an angel. Whenever he was like this, peacefully dreaming, he looked like one. Both of us knew he was far from being one, but the image alone made me happy. Or was it because he was next to me? Or was it because of the amazing night we spent together? Maybe it was because all the above.  
  
I grinned, moving closer to him and lightly kissing him. I smiled as he stirred just a bit and moved to get up.  
  
After the shower and finding something warm to wear I sneaked out of our room.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
I chuckled as Hyesung started tickling me.  
  
"Stop!" I managed to say as his hands traveled up my stomach and sides. I opened my eyes to look at him and grabbed his hands to stop him.  
  
"Good morning!" he grinned as I pulled him closer and smiled broadly, hugging him.  
  
"Waking me up like that... really mean of you." I said kissing his cheek and he grinned, hugging me back.  
  
"Well, I couldn't think of any better way..." he replied snuggling closer to me.  
  
"Yeah right." I scoffed and he laughed again, kissing me quickly.  
  
"What was that?" I asked raising my eyebrow.  
  
"You tell me." He replied, blushing anyway.  
  
"A perfect way to wake me up." I said nodding.  
  
"No, I'm serious." Hyesung said moving slightly away from me and sitting up. "What was that? I mean, yesterday... you kept kissing me and touching me and..."  
  
"I love you Sungie, I just wanted to express it more... freely." I replied. He sighed.  
  
"Why do you do that?" he asked again.  
  
"I just..." I started.  
  
"No. It just wasn't something best friends would do." He said. "You acted like... like we were lovers." He whispered the last part. I could tell he was embarrassed. I didn't know what to say.  
  
"I... I'm sorry Sungie." I said the first thing that came to my mind.  
  
"I just... I don't know. Shouldn't you be doing it with someone else?" He continued.  
  
"With who?" I asked bluntly, not knowing where this leaded us to.  
  
"Your boyfriend." He finished.  
  
"Wh-"  
  
"I know you have a boyfriend Wannie."  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smiled as soon as he exited the room to take a shower. Nice way to wake me up, Min. I moved to my other side and decided to wait for him to finish his stuff before I get up. I didn't feel like getting up either. When he came back and got dressed I pretended to sleep. I waited for him to leave the room once again, before I sighed contently and opened my eyes. I looked at the closed door in front of me and grinned, then finally got up.  
  
After taking a shower and getting dressed I happily went out of the room. However, on my way downstairs, I heard his voice. I looked at the room I was passing by and decided to peek in. They didn't close the door anyway.  
  
"I'm telling you, the bet is off." Changmin said looking at Heechul, who was standing in front of him.  
  
"Why?" he asked back.  
  
"Because I don't want to do it anymore." Min replied. "I thought it became clear enough yesterday."  
  
"He didn't say it."  
  
"But he showed it."  
  
"So, you want me to give you the money now?"  
  
"No, I don't care about money. I just don't want to do that anymore." Min continued shaking his head. "It went too far already." He paused looking down. I furrowed my eyebrows, having a bad feeling about this. "We... we had sex."  
  
He was talking about me. He was talking about our relationship. Non-existent relationship.  
  
"Oh we heard." Heechul smirked.  
  
"You what?" he said quickly looking up.  
  
"You were pretty loud, Min." Oh god. I closed my eyes, swallowing hard and stepping back.  
  
"Then you know." Changmin said quietly.  
  
"You didn't prove he turned gay, so... I guess that's it." Heechul sighed. "I mean... he was drunk."  
  
"I know he was." Changmin nodded. "Either way, the bet is off."  
  
"It was that hard for you?" Heechul asked. "I never thought you would sleep with him."  
  
"It's not like I planned it, I was drunk as well." Changmin snapped and I felt tears rushing to my eyes. It hurt so much. "Of course it was hard. I couldn't wait for it to end."  
  
I completely moved away from the door and went to the bathroom as quickly as possible. It was all just a game for him. And not even one of those fun, innocent games we used to play.  
  
It was just a bet. A bet. And I was nothing more then his toy. Someone he'd use to play with... all for money. In some disgusting way I became his sl.ut. Someone he'd laugh to when everything is finished. It finished before he wanted it to finish, just because he made a mistake and slept with me. Because he went too far. I bet I repulsed him now even more then before. I bet. What a funny expression. I was a fool, I was really an idiot. I hated myself for falling for it. But I hated him more. I hated him more then ever before.  
  
I looked at the mirror. Could I get anymore pathetic?


	37. Chapter 37

Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I know you have a boyfriend Wannie." I said seriously. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to talk about it. "I know about you and Yunho."  
  
"Me and..." he started, but then started laughing. "You think Yunho and I are together?"  
  
"Well... I..." I was shocked at his words. Was Jae right all along?  
  
"Oh Sungie... where did you get that from?" he asked. "Wait... That's why you were acting like that?" I nodded looking down. He hugged me. "You're really silly."  
  
"But... how was I supposed to know? You were spending all your free time with him." I started.  
  
"With him and Eric." He corrected me. "We were rehearsing. You know that."  
  
"But I saw him saying he loved you." I replied.  
  
"When?" he asked.  
  
"When you were rehearsing." I whispered, not daring to look at him.  
  
"Sungie, you followed me to one of the rehearsals?" he asked then. I nodded. "But why?"  
  
"I couldn't take it anymore." I felt like I betrayed him. But I couldn't deny the feeling of happiness building up inside of me. I was happy there was nothing between him and Yunho.  
  
"I'm sorry." He said hugging me again.  
  
"You apologized already. Just stop." I replied. "I should apologize now."  
  
"No, it's alright." He said making me look at him. I could see he was smiling. "However I told you it's a secret. My movie. And you came to one of the rehearsals." He said raising one eyebrow.  
  
"Sorry." I said giving him my puppy eye look and he chuckled.  
  
"Just don't do it again. I really want you to wait for it. Please." I nodded and he kissed my forehead.  
  
We were alright. Everything was alright. I allowed myself to believe that my love wasn't pointless, that it might not be one-sided. I was happy again.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I sat in the living room, watching tv, when Yunho walked into the room.  
  
"Jae, hi." He smiled walking up to me. I looked up and smiled back.  
  
"What's up,Yunnie?" I asked.  
  
"I was looking for you. Can we talk?" he asked and I nodded, turning off the tv. "Not here." He added and I got up, following him upstairs and into his and Eric's room.  
  
"What's going on?" I asked as soon as I closed the door behind me and we sat down.  
  
"Nothing special, I just need to talk to someone." He said. "And I miss you."  
  
"I miss you too." I smiled.  
  
"I don't know, I have Eric. He's my best friend. I also have Dongwan and Changmin and... you know, it's not like I don't have people around me to talk to. But I really missed you. I have this feeling like no one can understand me the way you do." He said and I nodded.  
  
"It's alright, I feel the same way about you." I replied.  
  
"You're okay with talking to me?" he asked then. "I mean, you know I'm sorry I hurt you... I just want to make sure if it's okay to be friends again."  
  
"We never stopped being friends. I just needed some time." I smiled warmly again and he grinned in return. I paused "Yunho, tell me what's wrong."  
  
"Nothing is wrong. I mean, it's not really serious..." he started.  
  
"It's about Junjin, right?" I asked, smiling slightly. He looked at me furrowing his brows slightly. "You like him, but he likes Eric. Is that right?"  
  
"How...?" he asked.  
  
"Yoochun is my roommate and best friend afterall." I shrugged. "Besides, I have eyes, you know." I chuckled. "Not to mention that little truth and dare game..." He nodded.  
  
"I really like him Jae. Like... I see him every day and..."  
  
"You can't imagine your day without him? He said the same." I replied.  
  
"Yeah, but I feel so much more for him then he feels for me." He said.  
  
"Why do you think so?" I asked. It looked like Junjin felt a lot for Yunho too. I was sure he liked him back actually. But... I could always be wrong. "It looks like he's showing a great deal of affection towards you too."  
  
"I don't know... I wouldn't call it affection."  
  
"Why are you denying it? It really looks like it." I said.  
  
"No, Jae, all he sees is Eric. You know, the first time we went for a coffee it was by accident. Heck every time we went for a coffee was by accident if you look at it more closely. He came to look for Eric, but Eric wasn't there. So I suggested to spend some time with him. And that just happened day after day. Eventually we just got used to it. I was a substitute. I am a substitute for Eric." He sighed looking down.  
  
"Oh, Yunho." I sighed smirking lightly. "He never rejected your invitation to go for a coffee. He could've, but he never did. Doesn't it tell you enough?"  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smiled walking into the kitchen and seeing Junsu drinking his juice. His back was facing me, so he didn't notice me and I walked up to him, putting my arm around his waist and pulling him closer to me.  
  
"What the..." he muttered, turning around and freeing himself from me. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked annoyed and turned away from me again, grabbing an empty cup to pour himself some freshly made coffee.  
  
"Nothing." I replied looking at his back. It hurt damnit. "How are you?" I asked the first thing that appeared in my head.  
  
"Awful. I have a terrible hangover." He replied, sipping his coffee. "I feel so sick." I swallowed, trying to act as normal as possible. It hurt so much. "Oh and I wanted to ask you something." He added. "When I woke up this morning I was naked. Why was that?"  
  
Oh god, tears. Make them stop.  
  
"You did it yourself. I guess you really were too drunk." I managed to choke out. "I... I have to go... finish something." I added quickly and practically ran out of the kitchen.  
  
He... he didn't remember anything. I never thought this kind of pain was possible.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
I usually don't pay much attention to people around me and that's one of the things that I'm not very proud of. I am a selfish person, everyone knows that. At least that was one thing I never had to hide about myself. Now, that's also not something I should be proud of, but that's just the way I am.  
  
However, this time I had to notice that things around me were changing. Relations between people around me, I think it was safe enough to call them friends now, were changing. It was strange, because I couldn't tell what exactly was happening. And I was pretty sure they couldn't either. Something changed and I also knew nothing we did could change it back to the way things were. I also don't know if it was for better or for worse, were we progressing like this or were we going back. We were just sure that we were going through some serious changes altogether.  
  
I was afraid of changes. Changes always made me extra insecure and of course, extra careful. Whenever I sensed them I would put on another mask, just in case. We could never be careful enough. I liked taking risks... but this was just too much.  
  
As soon as we went back to college the old way of life returned. Studying for the exams, working on projects, same old parties and coffees at Heechul's. Nothing ever changed here and even though it made me feel at home I couldn't get away from that awful feeling of changes in the air. Maybe it was because of new year.  
  
I never believed things could change over night. If I did I probably wouldn't be as afraid as I actually was. I would probably find a way to get over my fear long time ago. But that wasn't the case. That's why I was puzzled more then ever now. Scared and well hidden. And that's why the image of Lee Minwoo-the college male wh.ore and bad guy was stronger then ever.  
  
I was full of energy, I was cheerful and flirty, always up for a party, for a little bit of fun. I was hiding, secretly watching over, looking for something huge to happen. I was looking over people around me. I was looking over him. The biggest change of all that he was actually looking back. But no, what actually beat it was my reaction. I didn't know what to do. To be scared... or happy?  
  
  
Junjin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I looked down at my photographs. We were taking a course of photography this semester, Hyesung, Jaejoong and I. I wasn't the best in it, although I wasn't really bad. I had the eye, like my friends, but that was normal considering that we were painters. But something was missing. And I knew exactly what it was. Unlike Hyesung, who wasn't really paying much attention to it, who would rather drop it and go back to his paintings, unlike JaeJoong who loved it more then anything, who was actually into photography ever since high school, so he loved the fact that he had more time for it now. Unlike the two of them, I simply found photography quite boring. I like paying attention to composition, to light, to technical side of it, but I just didn't see what was that that camera had and good old paintbrush lacked. I just didn't enjoy it.  
  
I sighed putting the photos down and covering them with my books, before grabbing my coat and going out for a walk.  
  
It was already around eight o'clock in the evening and I sighed as I stepped out on cold. My feet lead me to the drama department as I realized I wanted to see him. We saw each other less then two hours ago, but I missed him already. I walked to the classroom he usually had his rehearsals in. I knew where it was located, he showed it to me, just in case I needed something and couldn't find him.  
  
I stood in front of it, smiling as I saw it opened and looked inside. But what I saw shocked me more then anything. I stood there glued to the spot for one long moment, before I turned around and left as quickly as possible.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I pulled away from him, with annoying expression on my face.  
  
"Eric, will you stop laughing and just do it right?" I spat.  
  
"I'm sorry Ho." He repeated for millionth time that evening, but it took him some time to stop chuckling.  
  
"I just can't believe it... You're a dork and all, but you have always been so serious when it comes to work." I continued. "What is wrong with you?"  
  
"Well, sorry for not being able to do it. Just bare thought of kissing you makes me laugh... and actually doing it..." he chuckled again.  
  
"Stop being so immature. We're shooting this scene next week." I replied seriously.  
  
"Alright." He said and without warning pulled me into a kiss.  
  
"Mmmm..." I tried to protest as he started laughing again and broke the kiss. I wiped my lips and sighed. "I'm supposed to kiss you first."  
  
"I know, I know..." he nodded.  
  
"And you laughed again."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Sorry doesn't do it Eric, I don't know what to do anymore." I sighed. "Maybe if Wannie was here."  
  
"Maybe... I don't know." He replied, sighing as well. "I don't know if I can do this."  
  
"Of course you can do it." I scoffed. "You did everything great so far, we went through every scene and you just do it perfectly. I never thought you'll be able to play Sungie that well." I said honestly.  
  
"Why, thank you." He replied with sarcasm and I chuckled.  
  
"You know what I mean. You're a great actor. One kiss shouldn't be a problem for you." I said.  
  
"I don't know how to do it. Like... I can't relax. I mean, alright, you're my best friend and we knew each other since we were in diapers."  
  
"I'd rather not mention that period of my life, thank you." I joked.  
  
"But really, that's exactly the problem. How can I kiss you? You're like... my brother." He finished.  
  
"Actually, Eric, I think that's the reason why Dongwan wanted us to play this. We do know them the best, but we're also best friends just like they are. So... maybe it's a similar relationship." I shrugged.  
  
"Are you trying to tell me something?" Eric asked.  
  
"What?" I furrowed my eyebrows.  
  
"Oh, you like me now? Like Wannie likes Sungie? Huh? Is that right?" Eric started, grinning and making me laugh.  
  
"Okay, are you done?" I asked trying to glare at him, but it was just impossible. He nodded. "I know it's hard, it's hard for me too. But just don't think it's me you're kissing. Just... imagine Yoochun." I said.  
  
"Okay, got it." He nodded and I took a step forward, ready to give it another shot. "Wait." He stopped me. "Who are you imagining?"  
  
"Junjin." I replied rolling my eyes.  
  
"Alright." He nodded.  
  
"Was it really necessary for you to know?" I asked.  
  
"Nah... I was just curious." He grinned and I shook my head, finally leaning for another, hopefully successful, kiss.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was looking for Dongwan, since Minwoo asked me to give him some notes he finished for his new film. So, here I was now, in drama department, at nine o'clock in the evening, trying to find Wannie and hoping I won't bump into Eric.  
  
I looked around, but hallways were empty and so were the most of the classrooms. I sighed, walking up to the next one, that actually had its lights on.  
  
Looking inside I widened my eyes and let out a small gasp, since I saw something I certainly didn't expect to see. Ever.


	38. Chapter 38

Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
Eric and Yunho were kissing. I stared for what seemed like minutes, but has only been a moment. As they pulled apart Eric gave Yunho a genuine smile, but then looked straight at me. I let out a small gasp and quickly turned around and started running away.  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smiled at Yunho, I finally managed to go through that kiss normally. I knew that was the way I wanted to do it, the way it should be like in the movie. But then I looked over his shoulder and widened my eyes in horror. Yoochun saw us. And I knew exactly what he was thinking.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yoochun!" I heard him calling me, running after me. I didn't want to stop, I didn't want to look back, but I didn't even have strength to run. I've been running away from him for so long, I just couldn't take it anymore.  
  
I never was a coward, but ever since I met Eric I became one. Maybe coward wasn’t the right word for what I was. I couldn't even define myself anymore. Was I protecting Junjin? Was I protecting Eric? Or was I protecting myself. I was never afraid of getting hurt, but I knew that this time was different. However, I was hurting for months now. I thought nothing worse can happen... nothing that can make me hurt more. But I was obviously wrong.  
  
"Yoochun, stop." He finally reached me and grabbed my arm, turning me around to face him. I looked at him as he fought to regain his normal breathing. "It's not what you think." He said looking back at me.  
  
"You don't know what I think." I replied trying to sound as coldly as possible, although it hurt too. He continued to watch me, his facial expression changing slightly as the look of hurt covered his face.  
  
"I... Yunho and I are practicing for Wannie's movie." He replied. Deep down I knew he wasn't lying to me, I just... I had to stop this.  
  
"Whatever Eric... it's not something that should interest me anyway." I said and swallowed slightly, feeling tears coming to my eyes. Great. Now I'll have to fight them as well. He looked so hurt.  
  
"But I want to explain it to you, I want it to interest you." He replied.  
  
"Well, it doesn't." I said. I was hoping he won't be able to see I was lying. "Listen Eric... let's stop this, alright?" I continued. I was hoping he won't be able to see how much I was hurting. "Let's just not... talk, see each other, anything..."  
  
"Yoochunah... I... I like you, I told you that already. I said that in front of everyone. I... I don't know what to do anymore... tell me what to do, I'll do anything." He sounded so desperate.  
  
"Leave me alone." I replied.  
  
"Are you listening to me?" he asked again, raising his voice slightly. "Yoochun, I love you."  
  
I was surprised I didn't break down right then and there. I didn't start crying, I didn't give away myself. Instead I said the biggest lie ever... I broke my own heart.  
  
"I don't love you." I whispered and walked away from him as quickly as possible, making sure not to turn back. My mouth could lie, but my eyes... my tears couldn't.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I heard him when he came back to our room. My back was facing him, so he couldn't see I was awake. I heard him taking off his shoes and clothes and then going to the bathroom. I heard when he stumbled inside and cursed, forgetting what time it was. I looked at the clock and sighed at the late hour. Soon after he exited the bathroom and fell onto his bed, almost instantly falling asleep.  
  
It has been like that for whole month already. Ever since we came back from winter holidays we've been acting like strangers around each other. Maybe it was better that way. I knew that I'd be hurt a lot worse if he was insisting on our little games from before.  
  
Now, we were just roommates who were studying together, spending time together on classes. But only physically. We've been practicing after classes, together with Yoochun. Nothing really changed with the way we spent our time, but our relationship... it was completely different.  
  
And every night he would go out, get drunk, hook up with some random girl. The whole campus was talking about Kim Junsu going back to his old lifestyle. Even becoming a bigger player then before. Surrounded with girls all the time, people easily labeled him as 'straight version of Lee Minwoo'. The difference was that Minwoo quit being a wh.ore, while Junsu just seemed to get started being one.  
  
I was trying to swallow every tear that threatened to spill. At first it was hard and I was making sure to finish my crying before he came back. As much as I didn't want to I couldn't stop myself. Just like I couldn’t stop waiting for him every night.  
  
I waited for some time, already knowing when he'd fall asleep. When was safe enough to turn around and look at him. He still slept like an angel. And I still watched him liked that night.  
  
I still felt the same love as then.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Eric, I'm so sorry." I said again, rubbing my best friend's back as he continued to cry. We've been friends for so many years and I never saw him this hurt. I never saw him cry. At least not like this.  
  
"It's not your fault." He looked absolutely hopeless. He was making me feel like crying, just because I couldn't recognize him. This wasn't my best friend, the happy, bubbly dork named Eric Moon. This was completely different person and I didn't know what to do to bring the old Eric back. To fix things and make it all better.  
  
I hugged him and waited for him to fall asleep. I really felt bad. Not because of what Yoochun saw, we all knew it was just a part of our rehearsal. I felt bad because I knew there was nothing I could do. I felt so helpless.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Thanks." Hyesung said suddenly and I looked up from my book.  
  
"What for?" I asked, slightly confused and he stood up from his seat in front of his canvas and walked over to me.  
  
"For staying with me tonight." He said simply and sat down next to me. I smiled.  
  
"Silly Sungie..." I chuckled putting my arm around him.  
  
"It's weird to see you read something that doesn't have anything to do with your movie or college... it's weird to see you relax." He continued.  
  
"You're making it sound like it's a bad thing." I laughed.  
  
"No, just... I'm glad." He shrugged.  
  
"Well, I needed a day without thinking about it all." I smiled. "We have a busy week ahead of us."  
  
"You're still not going to tell me anything about it." I shook my head. "Not even when it's gonna be finished?"  
  
"Well... you'll just have to be patient." I smiled.  
  
"You always say that." He pouted and I chuckled, leaning to kiss his forehead.  
  
"Sungie, trust me."  
  
"You know I always do." He smiled kissing my cheek and went back to his painting.  
  
Of course I know, Sungie. That's just another one of the many reasons I fell in love with you.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I woke up first again. Ever since we came back to college I've been doing my best to always disappear from our room before he wakes up. It means getting up before everyone else, but I don't care. I just don't want to be there when he wakes up, I don't want to be alone with him. I'm waking up first and I'm coming back last. He's sleeping either way.  
  
I watch him sleep. Always. It's better that way, even though I'm torturing myself. I sleep with girls I don't know. I would never sleep with some guy... other then him. I'm straight. Yeah, I am. Having feelings for him doesn't mean a thing. And I'm doing my best to suppress those feelings, to forget about them. I'm trying to move on, but it doesn't go like that. I can't do it. At least not that easily.  
  
We get along. We don't talk, but at least we don't fight. I miss our fights. They became a part of my life, my weakness. I don't miss our fights, sadly I just miss him. I miss the jerk who made a fool out of me. I let him do so. It's my fault, I let him into my heart. Those girls... no one can push him out of it now. I just don't know what to do.  
  
As I walk out of the door I glance at him one more time. He looks so peaceful, although it looks like he hasn't slept well in a while. My imagination is doing it to me again. I want to believe he's suffering because of me. But I know it can't be true. And no matter how much I'd love to believe in that, I'd love to think about that and make myself feel satisfied with it I just can't. Even that... hurts.  
  
Every morning a sad realization hits me. I can't get over it, I can't move on.  
  
I can't stop loving him.  
  
  
Junjin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hi." Yunho smiled walking up to me after his class. Our daily routine, coffee time.  
  
"Hi." I replied, not wanting to think about last night. I knew that I won't be able to hold that inside of me. We started walking. In silence.  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked after a couple of minutes. I sighed.  
  
"We need to talk." I replied looking at him.  
  
"Alright." He nodded. "Want to wait till we go to Heechul's?"  
  
"I don't want to go to Heechul's." I said, stopping suddenly. He looked at me, confused and stopped as well. I paused, not knowing how to start. "I saw you yesterday." I finally said. "I saw you kissing Eric."  
  
"Oh..." he said with a small smile.  
  
"Oh?" I cut him off. "You were kissing Eric, Yunho." I raised my voice, losing my temper a bit.  
  
"Yeah, I kissed him, but..." he started again.  
  
"I don't care. You kissed him!" I yelled. "I... I didn't expect that from you. I seriously can't believe you did that." So much for controlling myself.  
  
"Junjin, let me explain..." he started again.  
  
"No! How could you?" I was trying to stop myself from crying. It hurt. It hurt last night and now it hurt even more. "I thought I mean more to you. I thought that's something you wouldn't do to me. Out of all people you're the one I trusted the most. I thought you care about me more..."  
  
"I do care about you, you're just blind. God, Jin, you're so blind!" he cut me off now, yelling back. "I kissed your precious Eric. It was a rehearsal. We have a kissing scene in Dongwan's movie. There... you happy now?" he finished. I was speechless. "I'm sick of this. There is absolutely nothing I can do to make you stop looking at Eric and actually see me. There is nothing that can make you see that Eric doesn't want you, but I do. I should just stop making a fool out of myself and... I can't take this anymore Jin. I can't live like this and hope for something that I don't have. That I obviously can't have. I'm saving myself now. Bye." He let it all out and turned around, leaving me behind quickly.  
  
You got it all wrong... it's not about Eric... nothing is about Eric anymore.  
  
Yunho... I want you.


	39. Chapter 39

Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You guys... are you getting any sleep at all?" I looked from Changmin to Junsu and sighed.  
  
"Why?" Changmin asked putting down his books and Junsu just looked at me, leaning against the piano.  
  
"You just look... well, horrible." I replied.  
  
"Thanks." Junsu muttered sarcastically and I shook my head.  
  
"You're doing great and all, I just think you're overdoing yourself. You look so pale and tired. Maybe we should just call it a day and you guys should slow down and go to bed." I continued.  
  
"I'm fine." Junsu said.  
  
"Don't worry, just continue with the practice." Changmin added and I obediently nodded.  
  
Something was going on here, but I knew better then to butt in anymore. I, myself, didn't really feel like practicing today, but maybe it will get my mind off Eric.  
  
I started playing and Changmin started singing. I watched him and Junsu.  
  
Working with them was never harder. They mastered singing together now, they sounded good. It was just... technically it was nearly perfect, but the feeling I was getting was always different. Sometimes emotionless, sometimes cold and sometimes so filled with emotion it almost sounded melodramatic. It seemed like they could never come together. The feeling they were giving off was so strange. Each of them reacted to the other one in a weird, completely unnatural way. It was like they were pushing each other. It was a competition between the two of them again, just this time it looked like they were trying to prove something else and not their singing abilities. Not to mention that I liked them more when they were having fights. At least there was no this uncomfortable, tensed atmosphere in the room.  
  
I stopped in the middle of the song and they broke the eye staring contest they were putting on now, turning to look at me.  
  
"It's not good." I said simply. "You're putting too much feeling into it Min, you're overdoing it." I said looking at him. "And you're just expressionless Su." I turned to the other guy. They just watched me, I paused. "Are you guys fighting or something?" I asked. I couldn't find any other reason.  
  
The looked at each other and then shook their heads. But there was just something there.  
  
"Okay, well, you should just follow each other. Just feel each other in order to respond to each other." I continued, dropping the subject of them obviously not getting along lately. "I don't have to teach you this. You know what this is all about. You should sing as one."  
  
Although they nodded and we started over again I knew it's gonna take a while for them to get there. Their music was enough to tell me what it was all about, what was going on between them. I just hoped they were smart enough to regain the harmonic relationship they used to have. And of course, bring it to another, higher level. We were all waiting for that, even though Changmin and Junsu haven't realized it yet.  
  
They were made for each other. Music was saying it all, right from the beginning. It was just like that, always. You just needed to listen carefully. And listening and actually hearing was something we all needed to learn.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smiled at Heechul as he put my soda in front of me.  
  
"What's up Jae?" he asked, sitting for a moment, as the place wasn't really crowded.  
  
"Nothing." I shrugged. "Except that I'm taking photography classes again." I smiled then.  
  
"Oh, I heard." He nodded.  
  
"Of course." I chuckled. "Is there anything going on around the campus that you don't know about?"  
  
"I could ask you the same thing. You and Hyesung." He replied, smirking playfully.  
  
"There are plenty of things we don't know about." I said drinking a bit of my soda.  
  
"Like... the mystery of Lee Minwoo?" he asked.  
  
"That too." I nodded. "Why? You know something?"  
  
"Oh, now, you'd like to know, wouldn't you?" Heechul replied chuckling. "Sadly, no, that guy became even more mysterious after the New Years eve."  
  
"Coming from a guy who used to sleep with 'the mystery himself'." I teased.  
  
"We slept only once." He replied. "But, yeah, I have to say I believed it knew him well. He's just behaving weirdly lately. I guess I was wrong." He shrugged. I didn't say a thing. "So, I heard Dongsung are back to normal." I nodded. "That's good, we just need to get them to sc.rew each other."  
  
"Heechul." I laughed at his subtle choice of words.  
  
"Come on, you all know it. Somehow I'm the most open one in our little gay crew." He said smiling again and I shook my head. "Okay, how about Changmin and Junsu?"  
  
"What about them?" I asked.  
  
"Well, babies of the family already did it."  
  
"And your point is?" Tell me something I don't know Chullie. We've all been there, it was quite impossible not to hear them.  
  
"They're still not a couple... and here I thought..." he said more talking to himself then to me.  
  
"What are you talking about?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows. He hesitated for a moment, then sighed.  
  
"You see... Min and I had a little bet." That didn't sound good. "He was supposed to prove that Junsu can turn gay..."  
  
"You did what?" I widened my eyes as I raised my voice a bit.  
  
"Shhhh..." he covered my mouth quickly, then let go. "It started as a game, it was just fun. Them having their small teasing fights and stuff... you know. But then Min obviously fell for him and Junsu obviously responded. And then the New Years eve happened. And then... I don't know, Min came the next day and told me that bet is off. I expected them to become a couple, but there is obviously something that I don't know about." He said looking down.  
  
"Heechul, that was such an awful thing to do." I said. "Playing with someone's feelings. What would happen if Junsu hadn't liked Min and Min fell for him? Or if Junsu fell for him and then found out what it was all about?" I said.  
  
"But they both fell for each other and you know it." Heechul said. "I just really don't understand what happened." He paused. "I wish I could help them."  
  
We sat in silence for a moment, thinking about it.  
  
"God, I don't know what to do with Changmin and Junsu." Yoochun startled both of us as he sat down next to Heechul.  
  
"Why?" I asked.  
  
"They're so out of it. Technically they sound great, but music is just... not there. Feeling is not right. Like two worlds crashing into each other." Yoochun explained. I looked at Heechul and he gave me a worried look, before getting up.  
  
"I have to go back to work." He said pointing to the customer who just entered the caf�. "Regular Chun?" Yoochun nodded and watched him go, then turned to me.  
  
"I'm sure it's gonna be okay." I said smiling a bit.  
  
"Yeah, I know, I just wonder when." He replied scoffing slightly. "They should just get together and bring back harmony in our practices."  
  
"I think something else is bothering you." I smiled a bit. "It's not about Changmin and Junsu, is it?" I asked. He looked away. "Oh come on, you have to talk about it sooner or later."  
  
"I don't know. I'm afraid I did a stupid thing." He looked down. "It hurts now more then it hurt before."  
  
"You can fix it." I said. It was so obvious Eric loved him.  
  
"What about Junjin?"  
  
"He's your brother Chun, he should understand you more then anyone."  
  
"But he doesn't." It was true. Sadly, it was and there was nothing I could do to help my best friend about it. I understood him better then his own hyung. I looked down.  
  
"He should." I repeated. "You should talk to him about it. I think that's the only way for you to be happy. If he loves you he'll understand and get out of your way." I stated. Yoochun nodded, but I knew he won't do it. That was just the way Yoochun worked.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hey." I smiled looking at JaeJoong and Yoochun walking to the dorms.  
  
"Hey." They greeted me back.  
  
"I'm going to the room first." Yoochun quickly added smiling at me and looking back to Jae, who just stood there. Yoochun quickly walked away and I smiled, looking at Jae.  
  
"I should go to." He started.  
  
"Wanna hang out with me a bit?" I asked quickly. "Please?" He hesitated, but then nodded and I grinned. I was so happy. It would be all great as long as he didn't push me away.  
  
We began walking across the park in front of the dorms.  
  
"I know my behavior lately might confuse you..." I started.  
  
"It doesn't." he cut me off. I looked at him surprised. "You're trying to prove me that you changed, I got that."  
  
"I haven't changed..." I started again.  
  
"Yeah, you're just showing a part of you no one knew existed." He replied with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "I got that too."  
  
"You think I'm playing with you." I said.  
  
"Well, aren't you Minwoo?" he asked. "That's what you do. It's a bit different this time, since you're playing with all of us, thinking of a different story, just changing your usual hunting ways. It's quite different and you're succeeding in fooling everyone again. Unfortunately for you, I'm not like the rest." It hurt to hear such words coming from him.  
  
"Oh, that I know." I nodded. "But you're so wrong. I just have to find a way to prove it to you."  
  
"Yeah, well... until then..." he said smiling slightly at me and turning to walk to the dorms.  
  
I'll show you the real me, Jae. I just hope you'll like it.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yunho!" Junjin called me as I walked away from him. I heard him running after me, but I didn't want to stop. There will be no Yunho's shoulder for you to cry on anymore. I just didn't want to stop. Ever again. Even thought it hurt so much.  
  
"Yunho, please, stop." He said finally reaching me and pulling my arm, making me face him. Then he leaned up and kissed me.  
  
It startled me, the way he forcefully pressed his lips against mine and cupped my face with his hands, bringing me closer to him. It took me a moment to respond and allow his tongue to enter my mouth. I embraced him, giving into the kiss, into the moment. I waited for this, I wanted this so much. I didn't want to think about anything else, but him.  
  
He finally pulled away, panting slightly. I wasn't much better as I stared into his eyes, confusion rushing back through my body as I took a step back. He put a hand on my arm again.  
  
"You're not getting away, right?" he asked.  
  
"Not until you explain." I replied. He closed his eyes for a moment.  
  
"Isn't it obvious?" he asked looking back at me. "Eric was not the reason why I felt hurt after seeing you two kiss. He stopped being the reason a while ago. I stopped caring for him soon after he told me that he liked Yoochun, I stopped after that truth and dare game. After that kiss. It didn't mean absolutely anything to me, all I could think of was you." He said.  
  
"Our time together, didn't I say it was so precious to me? I never thought I could fall for you, I haven't looked at you in any other way then as Eric's best friend in the beginning. But as we got to know each other I started having these feelings, you were everything I needed to get through the day. Even just seeing you was enough. It took me some time to realize that. The truth is that I feel so empty when I'm not with you. I don't want to be without you. I need you." He finished looking at me.  
  
"Junjin... I..." I started, still in shock. I never thought he could possibly like me. Not that I wasn't aware of me being attractive and interesting to other guys, a lot of guys wanted to be with me. But Junjin has his eyes on Eric from the start. I just never thought he'd turn and look at me. Even though I was ready to give everything I had, to give myself to him.  
  
"I love you." He added.  
  
"I love you too." I breathed out finally. "I love you so much." I grinned finally recovering from the shock and stepped closer to him again, putting my arms around his waist. "I... this is unbelievable." I whispered as he hugged me.  
  
"Is it?" he asked. "Is it so hard to believe? I want you Yunho."  
  
"I never thought..." I shook my head, trailing off. "You have me." I smiled leaning down to kiss him again.  
  
This time claiming him as mine.


	40. Chapter 40

Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Let's go eat something, I'm hungry and I want to talk to you." Jae told me after classes and I nodded. "Bye Jin." Jae said to our classmate and I waved at the smiling Jin behind me before we walked out of the classroom.  
  
"Hey Yunho." Jae said smiling. He looked like he knew why Yunho was here, in front of our classroom.  
  
"Hi." I greeted him as well. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Waiting for me." Jin said appearing behind us, then walked over to Yunho, smiled and kissed him lightly. I widened my eyes a bit, but JaeJoong chuckled.  
  
"You haven't told me good news." Jae raised his eyebrow at Yunho, pretending to be hurt.  
  
"I didn't have time." Yunho grinned, putting his arm around Jin's waist.  
  
"You know Yunho, Jae and I are always the first to know." I started.  
  
"Or at least should be." Jae added.  
  
"Oh god..." Jin shook his head laughing. "I guess not when it comes to our relationship."  
  
"Well, okay, I'm..." Jae started, than looked at me. "We're happy for you." I nodded.  
  
"Have fun guys." I smiled, dragging Jae away from them as they waved. I looked at my friend as soon as we walked out of the building.  
  
"I didn't know they liked each other." I smiled.  
  
"I did." Jae replied. "I'm really happy for them, Yunho and I talked about it. I think he finally found the right person for him. And I should know." He gave me a knowing look. I chuckled.  
  
"Of course. Well, at least something is great around here." I said as we walked into the small restaurant we liked to eat in from time to time.  
  
We took a seat and ordered before I turned to JaeJoong.  
  
"Okay, now what's that you wanted to talk to me about?" I asked.  
  
"I think I like Minwoo." He said quietly. I didn't expect him to admit it that easily, but I was glad he did.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Alright." He nodded. I raised my eyebrows.  
  
"Alright? That's all you have to say?" I asked, slightly surprised.  
  
"Well, I really don't think it's a big surprise. You lasted a lot longer then most of his previous..." he paused, obviously thinking how to call those guys that liked him in the past. "... love interests. Take me for example. I lasted about a month. We did know each other before and all, but when he started paying more attention to me it took him about a month to get me. You've been running away from him for how long now? About five months? That must be a record for Lee Minwoo. To wait for such a long time." He chuckled.  
  
"I don't know what to do." I said. "I don't trust him."  
  
"Maybe you should." Hyesung replied, starting to eat. "I realized something. There was a lot of hints he was giving me after the breakup. He never said it, but now I know that everything he did and everything I did was somewhat planned. He knows me really well, he knows how I work. I know why he broke up with me."  
  
"Why? Because of me?" I asked. Sungie understood Minwoo? Well, that was first.  
  
"No, you're just a part of the reason." He replied. "My relationship with Minwoo wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. I wanted to convince myself that everything is fine and I succeeded in it. That's why I was so hurt when we broke up. I held onto Minwoo because I wanted to save myself from getting hurt. That was really stupid of me. And Minwoo knew it. So, he made me face it, that whole situation - getting hurt, realizing my true feelings, doing the right thing for once."  
  
"I don't get you." I said. He couldn't be talking about Dongwan. Minwoo wasn't that kind of a person, this was just... too good to be true.  
  
"Minwoo practically threw me into Wannie's arms, Jae. Don't you get it?" he smiled.  
  
"How can you be so sure?" I asked. "It just seems so unbelievable."  
  
"I'm sure. And it's not unbelievable, Minwoo is like that. I know him, a lot better now then before." He replied nodding. "I think you should let go already. Give in."  
  
It's easier to say it then do it.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Can you please get out?" I heard Changmin as he finally stopped banging on the bathroom door.  
  
I opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom and he quickly went in, muttering a sarcastic 'thank you'. I went to the closet and took some clean shirt and jeans, getting dressed.  
  
"What is wrong with you?" Changmin asked as soon as he came out of the bathroom and sat down on his bed.  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked back, not looking at him as I took my bag and started putting books in it.  
  
"You're acting strange." He said simply, but I wasn't sure if he really meant to say that or was it something else. He seemed to feel uneasy as he didn't look at me, but just shrugged and waited for me to reply.  
  
"How come?" I asked, only glancing at him and then back at my bag.  
  
"You're... quiet."  
  
"You'd prefer me fighting with you?" I asked then. Stupid Junsu. Why using that word? Prefer. Who cares what he prefers? If only I didn't...  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I bit my lip, looking down. The way he said it, that... angry tone, sarcasm dripping from it. It hurt. Why did I even start this conversation?  
  
"No." I said standing up, grabbing my stuff and leaving the room. It was impossible talking to him now. I started wondering if it was all pointless. Stupid Min. I knew it was. But I just couldn't help but keep trying.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
Junjin gave me one more kiss before pulling away and I smiled, already reaching for the doorknob, ready to enter my room.  
  
"We're going out later?" he asked and I nodded.  
  
"Yeah." I replied. "We'll come get you guys." I replied, thinking about my plan. It wasn't really that much of a plan, Junjin and I just thought it was about time to help our friends out a bit.  
  
Jin gave me one more smile and then happily skipped to his own room. I watched him for a moment and then walked in.  
  
"Hey." Eric was sitting on his bed, going through the script. I knew he was reading the scene we were supposed to film in a couple of days. It seemed like all he did these days was work, but I couldn�t blame him. If someone rejected me in a way Yoochun rejected Eric I'd focus on work too. Keep mind off it.  
  
"How're you doing?" I asked, instantly regretting the question.  
  
"Fine." He shrugged. "I have a bit of trouble memorizing this." He said, although I knew that he already memorized it all. He just kept being unfocused on some parts and it drove him crazy. I could understand that.  
  
"Don't you think you should relax a bit?" I asked again. "Stop working, get some rest, you already know it all."  
  
"Nah... I'm fine." He shrugged again, keeping his eyes on the paper in front of him. I watched him for a couple of moments, then walked to the closet, picking the shirt I was gonna wear that night. I turned to Eric again.  
  
"Do you want to go out with us tonight?" I asked.  
  
"I don't feel like it."  
  
"Well, then... why don't you spend some time with Changmin?" I tried again.  
  
"I have stuff to do." He replied pointing to the script.  
  
"I already told you it's alright, you know it and I think you really should get some rest." I pushed him again.  
  
"And I already told you I'm fine." He said finally looking up from the script.  
  
"No, you..."  
  
"Yunho, stop." He interrupted me. "I'm okay, I just need some time alone and I really need to get this done. I don't want to go out and I don't want to meet people and I just... can we drop this?" he really seemed upset, so I took a step back and nodded. He grabbed the script again and buried his face in it. I sighed and walked into the bathroom.  
  
There was no way I could help him. I could just sit and watch him heal. No matter how much it made me feel awful.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
It was rare for me to be alone. If I wasn't in classes or working with Eric, Yunho or Minwoo I had Hyesung by my side. But today they all ditched me and I was left alone. With my thoughts. I walked out of my room, deciding to take a walk. It was pretty cold outside and I didn't think I'll run into some of my friends, but I couldn't help but smile as I saw Changmin sitting on a bench not so far away.  
  
"Hey Min." I greeted him as I walked up to him. He looked up at me, slightly startled.  
  
"Hi Wannie." He replied quickly.  
  
"Did I interrupt you?" I asked. He was deep in his thoughts, I could tell. I felt slightly uncomfortable for interrupting his alone time, but he just smiled, shook his head and moved a bit, for me to sit next to him. I smiled, looking at him. "What's up?"  
  
"Nothing." He shrugged. "How's the movie going?"  
  
"Good." I nodded. "I can't complain."  
  
"That's good." Changmin smiled. "How's Hyesung?"  
  
"You know, as always." I smiled, thinking about Sungie. "Are you alright? You seem so... far away today. Is my brother troubling you again?" I joked.  
  
"I'm okay." Changmin frowned slightly. "N-no... well..." he sighed then and I got serious as I realized I hit the spot there.  
  
"What's going on Min?" I asked. "I don't mean to butt in..." I trailed off. He seemed so upset all of the sudden.  
  
"No, it's okay, you can ask." He replied. "I just... I don't know what's going on." He sighed slightly desperately and looked down. I widened my eyes as I saw him actually holding back his tears.  
  
"Min..." I started.  
  
"I don't know Wannie... I just feel so empty." He said, swallowing hard and looking up, ahead of him. "I can't take it anymore. He's been avoiding me ever since we came back from winter break. He doesn't talk, we don't fight... it's not like I miss our fights, but at least we communicated then. Now we just live like two strangers, sleeping in the same room, going to classes together, practicing after classes. Then he goes clubbing and I just go to bed... every day is the same. He doesn't even look at me anymore." He said.  
  
He had this look on his face... like he was finally given an opportunity to let it all out. I stared at him as tears started pouring out of his eyes, not believing what I was seeing. The scary thing was that he looked like his whole world crushed, he was well aware of it and he was slowly breaking down. He looked like he didn't know he was crying and I began to wonder if this happened to him a lot. He was so calm, desperate and... beautiful. He wasn't a baby, he was so far from it. I realized I had no idea what was going on, just like I didn't know Shim Changmin well, I didn't know him at all. And here, he was pouring his soul out to me.  
  
I didn't say a thing. We sat in silence, Changmin's tears slowly traced his cheeks until they softly fell down on the cold snow, mixing with it, instantly making it look like they were never there in the first place. I sighed silently, making sure not to interrupt the peaceful moment. Changmin cried like that, peacefully, silently, as if trying not to disturb anyone around him. I felt sorry, I felt hurt myself, I felt bad. But I also felt comfortable, his tears, his pain didn't make me feel uncomfortable.  
  
He needed someone, he needed someone to listen to him, to just be there. Finally, to take care of him. I was just there at that moment when he decided to break down just a bit. To let out those tears he's been holding back. He needed that and I was just there. This time. A bit of tears, a bit of sorrow he let himself show... it was nothing, but it didn't surprise me. Afterall, I wasn't the right person for this role.


	41. Chapter 41

JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I followed Yunho to Junjin's room, feeling this was a bad idea.  
  
"I think it would be better if I just stayed home and you guys went out... you're a couple as it is and I'm like... a third wheel now." I chuckled.  
  
"Jae, I wanted us to go out together. Besides, it's not like we're going on some kind of romantic dinner or cinema or... anything that goes under 'romance'." He laughed. "We're just going to a club, it's gonna be crowded and loud and we'll have fun. I wanted to spend some time with you and I don't want to spend that time without Junjin, so this is the best solution." He grinned, but somehow didn't sound convincing enough.  
  
"Alright." I sighed, seeing it was pointless discussing it more.  
  
We stood in front of Junjin's and Minwoo's room, when a really bad feeling washed over me. I pushed it away as Junjin opened the door and flashed that beautiful smile of his at us. I instantly smiled back, greeting him. He invited us in and I obediently followed Yunho once again, stepping into the room. I looked around, not finding Minwoo anywhere. It made me relax a bit, but at the same time I felt slightly disappointed. I liked him, I admitted it to myself and to others already. Well, okay, only to Hyesung, but that was something too.  
  
As I took a moment to think about Minwoo - and I seemed to think about him a lot lately - Yunho and Junjin already started making out, making me feel slightly uncomfortable.  
  
"I knew you're gonna be like this..." I decided to interrupt them, chuckling slightly and shaking my head.  
  
"You're not a third wheel Jae." Yunho quickly said looking at me, while Jin smiled. Something was fishy there.  
  
"Yeah, okay." I replied eyeing Junjin suspiciously. "Are we going?" I asked instead, moving to the door, ready to get out.  
  
"So soon? And without me?" I winced at the voice and then turned around to look at him. Minwoo was standing at the bathroom door, giving me that teasing smirk of his. I quickly turned to Yunho.  
  
"He's going with us?" I asked, somewhat annoyed. "I should've known you wouldn't drag me clubbing with you just like that."  
  
"Jae..." Yunho said softly. "Come on, we're all friends here, we're just gonna have some fun tonight. Come on."  
  
I scoffed, looking from Yunho and Junjin to Minwoo. I paused thinking about it. It's not gonna make any difference, it won't bother much, right? I sighed, shrugging in a 'why not?' way, then turned around and walked out of the door.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
He came back pretty late. It wasn't that late, just... for Changmin it was. I tried to bring myself together, to just ignore it and get ready for another wild night. Another sick night when I had to leave him alone and try to bury my pain in booze and unknown girls. Tonight I couldn't. Because he wasn't there.  
  
I started getting ready, thinking that he'll come back eventually and then I'll go out. I was in a bathroom when he finally entered the room and instantly went to bed. I walked out of the bathroom and glanced at him. Just a simply glance. Making sure nothing happened. He was alright.  
  
"You're back." I said trying to hold back my worried state not so long ago. He didn't say anything. "I'm going." Still nothing. "Changmin?"  
  
"I heard you." He said, pulling the duvet over his head. I gave a small nod, suppressing a sigh, grabbed my coat and walked out of the room.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked next to JaeJoong, for the first time not knowing how exactly to start the conversation. I would glance at him from time to time, admiring his beauty and the fact that he was enveloped in color of night, his milky skin looking even more enchanting than usual.  
  
Yunho and Junjin walked ahead of us, completely focused on each other, making me feel a bit jealous, a bit relieved and a bit anxious. It was like they were there, supporting me as much as distracting both Jae and me, flashing the fact that they were together and all over each other so openly. It surely just pointed out the fact that I wanted to be like that with Jae, that we were completely different from them and that we might never become like that. But I didn't want to think about that, I wanted to think optimistic. I will get Jae. Of course I will.  
  
On the other hand, Yunho's and Junjin's presence was so... pointless. They were there physically, but they didn't pay attention to us one bit. I knew they cared about us, they cared a lot. Jae was Yunho's ex-boyfriend and best friend and Junjin was my best friend, the closest person I had in a while. They both loved us and wanted us to be together. It was a silent support I could feel in every look and every gesture. Maybe this was part of their plan. They knew they'll be so much into each other, it sounded perfect. Teasing Jaejoong and Minwoo, making out in front of them, maybe even making them uncomfortable. But at the same time turning them to each other, making them feel aware of each other. Oh but we were well aware of each other's presence. We truly felt like we were left alone.  
  
We reached the club and I still didn't start the conversation. JaeJoong's words kept replaying in my head. He couldn't stand me. Okay, maybe I exaggerated, but it truly felt like it. I could expect nothing from him but harsh words, his voice cutting through my heart like a sharpest scalpel, so delicate, yet so painful.  
  
Yunho and Junjin leaded us to one of the tables that were placed far away from the entrance, slightly in the back, facing the dance floor. Yunho slid in, Jin graciously followed him, landing practically on his lap. I decided to ignore them as I sat down next to Jae, trying to get closer to him, but careful not to look so obvious.  
  
The waitress came and took our orders, then a couple of moments later brought our drinks. The place was already crowded, but the crowd had a soothing effect on me, making me relax slightly and go back into my playful mood. I had to keep fighting, I had to keep trying to break the wall Jae built up between us.  
  
"You didn't want to go out with me tonight." I said quietly, leaning closer to JaeJoong, who took a sip of his drink.  
  
"I didn't plan to." He replied nonchalantly, looking at his glass.  
  
"What if you knew?" I asked. "Would you still come?"  
  
"No." his reply came out so sternly, it startled me a bit.  
  
"Then why did you?"  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"What?" I looked at him. It seemed like I did it for the fist time that evening, since I was slightly dazed with the way he looked. All in black, a couple of buttons of his shirt unbuttoned, giving me a nice view of his upper chest. He gazed at me with those hypnotizing eyes of his, his scent teasing my nose and making my heart flutter slightly.  
  
"You could've gone back to your room after you heard I'm going with you. Why didn't you?" he repeated the question. I blinked, he got me there. Really, why didn't I?  
  
"Because... Yunho and Junjin asked me to go with them." I lied.  
  
"Yeah, right." He smirked. "Well, if it makes you happier to lie to yourself..."  
  
"I'm not lying."  
  
"Just like they're so focused on you right now." He said sarcastically. I didn't even have to glance at the couple to know they were all over each other again. A small smile formed on my lips as I started to wonder why I even fought.  
  
"I felt like going out, so..." I tried again.  
  
"You're trying too hard." I looked at him in confusion again. "Why do you keep trying to find a reason for spending time with me?" I looked away, laughing uneasily and shaking my head.  
  
"You keep believing in that." I replied, finishing my drink and standing up, then walking away from the table and to the dance floor. Lame attempt to get away from uncomfortable situation, from Minwoo. Deep down I wished for him to follow me.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Wannie?" Hyesung called me from his bed. I looked up from my notebook.  
  
"Yeah?" I asked, now watching my best friend getting up and walking over to me.  
  
"I'm bored." He pouted, standing behind me and putting his arms around my neck as he leaned down to rest his head on my shoulder.  
  
"Sorry." I said turning my head a bit to look at him. "I have to finish this."  
  
"It's okay." He smiled. "I don't know why I mentioned it. I just watched you write and..." he trailed off shrugging.  
  
"And?" I repeated, curious to hear what he was thinking about.  
  
"You looked cute." He said looking down at my notebook. I smiled. He looked so cute, all shy like that. He moved to sit down next to me, his arms still resting around my shoulders. I reached up to caress his arm and we just sat there like that.  
  
"Wannie?" he interrupted the silence once again.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"I love you." His voice was so soft, so relaxed. I glanced at him to find out that he was on the verge of falling asleep.  
  
"W-why?" I asked suddenly, surprising myself.  
  
"No one loves me like you do." He whispered, dozing off. I smiled. I watched him and again, some time passed. Finally, I got up, gathering him in my arms and moved him to his bed. Pulling the duvet over him, I sat next to him, watching him sleep.  
  
You have no idea how true those words are Sungie.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
Minwoo didn't follow me. Minutes passed, songs passed and he still wasn't anywhere on the dance floor. I circled around. Dancing with random people. Most of them knew me, I didn't like to brag about it, but I was quite popular. I wasn't a player, known to be a good guy. Good, not naïve. Not easy to trick, not easy to play with. I was wanted. But I wasn't willing to give in. People knew it.  
  
I liked to have fun, to go out and dance. Tease, play innocent, but sexy. I smirked as I saw a good looking guy eyeing me. We started dancing and maybe I got a bit too much into it. I grinded against him, he gripped my waist as I smiled, imagining it was Minwoo dancing with me. I moved even closer, putting my hand on the back of his neck as I moved my hips seductively.  
  
"What are you doing?" I heard him. I smirked again, but then felt being pulled away from the guy I was dancing with and turned to face Minwoo. I put my arms around his neck, teasingly smirking at him and waiting for his next move. He didn't dance, he just stared at me.  
  
"Come on, Minwoo..." I smiled, trying to dance. His grip was still strong and I've never seen Minwoo like this around me. It was a definite turn on. "You already pulled me away from that hot guy, you could at least dance with me now."  
  
"You call that guy hot?" he smirked, looking away from me and hesitantly swaying in the rhythm of the music.  
  
"Jealous?" I teased.  
  
"Of course." He replied, startling me slightly. "You didn't expect me to deny it, did you?" he continued, slightly leaning closer to me. He knew I didn't know what to say, but his serious expression hasn't changed and it made me go serious as well. I certainly didn't expect this from him. Full of surprises, huh?  
  
"Minwoo..." I swallowed as his face inched closer to mine.  
  
"Now, Jae... you know how I feel about you." He whispered looking into my eyes. I shook my head quickly. "You still don't trust me?" I couldn't talk, I could just move. So, I held onto it and shook my head again. "When will you?"  
  
"Never." I finally breathed out, but at the same moment he closed the distance between us, pressing our lips together.  
  
Trust? Lee Minwoo, are you able to make me trust you? Am I able to trust you?  
  
"Never say never." He pulled away just enough to say those words, accompanied with that famous smirk as he rested his forehead against mine. I scoffed, pulled him closer and kissed him again.  
  
Am I giving in?


	42. Chapter 42

Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
My hand rested on Jin's cheek as we continued to kiss. I let out a small moan, caressing his cheek and pulling him closer. I finally had him and I wanted to show that to the whole world. I smiled against his lips as he broke the kiss and looked at me.  
  
"Yunho..." he whispered, hugging me tightly and moving to sit on my lap. He put his head on my shoulder, snuggling close. I grinned at him and moved my hand down his back, just holding him like that. I finally looked away, curious to find Jae and Minwoo.  
  
"Do you think it was a good idea to bring them here?" I asked. "Will Jae give into it?" I honestly didn't know. I knew it wasn't likely to happen, but knowing Jae... I knew he already fell for Minwoo. So, I was curious.  
  
"I think it was a good idea... but I don't know JaeJoong that well." Jin replied.  
  
"He's... stubborn." I chuckled. "I know he likes him."  
  
"I'd say so too." Jin chuckled as well and I looked at him as he pointed to something on the dance floor. I looked too and widened my eyes as I saw the two of them kissing.  
  
"I... didn't expect that." I said after a couple of moments and looked back at Jin. He smirked looking at me.  
  
"Me neither." He replied. "But I guess he really likes him a lot."  
  
"Yeah." I nodded. I felt good. Happy. It seemed like some things were finally settling. I leaned down and pressed another kiss to Junjin's lips.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
I woke up just in time to see Hyesung getting dressed and packing his bag. I glanced at the clock on my bedside table and back at my best friend.  
  
"Where are you going this early?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and then yawning a bit.  
  
"Oh, did I wake you up? Sorry." Hyesung quickly turned around.  
  
"It's okay, I should get up anyway." I said, still waiting for him to answer my question.  
  
"I have to finish my essay, it's due tomorrow. I also need to work on my painting, I'm meeting professor later today." He said quickly, taking all his stuff. "I'm gonna work in library today, I easily get distracted here, even when I'm alone."  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
Especially when I'm alone. I think too much about stuff. About Dongwan. It's weird, but I work great when he's there with me, it's like... I'm in peace then. I can work for as much as you want when he's by my side. But usually he's not, during the day it is. And I can't just sit all alone and pretend like I'm working when I don't get anything done.  
  
As he had another filming today I figured it would be the best for me to go outside as well, go to the library and finishing that essay there, then go to one or the art classrooms and paint there. As I said, I have to meet my professor later anyway. And being home alone really sucked.  
  
"Okay." He nodded finally, getting up. I took my stuff and smiled, heading for the door. "Have fun today." He added, looking at me.  
  
"Thanks Wannie, you too." I replied before he stepped closer to me and hugged me from behind, his sweet scent enveloping me. I smiled again, walking out of the room. Just when I thought I won’t have anything to think about today.  
  
  
Junjin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into Yunho's and Eric's room. Ever since Yunho and I became a couple I stopped knocking on their door. I was invited always and for some reason Eric didn't mind me being in their place basically all the time. But then again, lately Eric didn't pay attention to anything and anyone.  
  
And, as usually these days I could find Eric on his bed, reading something and basically drowning himself in selfpity. Yunho, however couldn't be find anywhere.  
  
"Hey Eric." I said cheerfully, trying to make him at least smile back at me.  
  
"Hi." He replied quietly. "Yunho went out." I frowned, he didn't even look at me.  
  
"Okay, it doesn't matter. I wanted to hang out with you a bit." I said even though it wasn't my original thought. I needed to talk to Eric anyway.  
  
"Oh?" he didn't sound excited or surprised at all. He just sounded so... bored and uninterested. As always.  
  
"Yeah." I said, sitting down on Yunho's bed and looking at him. I stayed quiet for a moment, not knowing how to start. He seemed to forget I was there during that time. "Eric?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Umm... is something bothering you?" as soon as I asked I knew it was a stupid question. He didn't reply. "Do you want to talk about it?" another stupid one. I sighed. "I want to talk about it."  
  
"It's nothing Jin." He said, his eyes still fixated on that stupid book. It began to irritate me. "There's nothing to talk about, I'm fine."  
  
"Stop pretending and lying and avoiding it and just... annoying the hell out of us all." I said firmly.  
  
"I'm sorry I'm annoying you."  
  
"No, Eric, really, just..." I sighed again shaking my head. "Why don't you do something about it? Stop torturing yourself." I said softly now. He finally closed his book and looked at me.  
  
"I can't do anything about it Jin." I heard pain in his voice, I saw it in his eyes.  
  
He avoided looking at us because of it. I knew he broke down once, when Yunho was with him. I knew he would only break down in front of him, because he simply didn't have closer person then him. And normally, I wouldn't say anything. I would stay away from it, because it wasn't my problem, it didn't concern me.  
  
But it did concern me. This was my brother we were talking about, this was his happiness as well as Yunho's best friend's happiness. And I wanted them to be happy. Oh, who am I kidding? It wasn't just because of them. It was because I felt guilty. I felt terrible because I knew this was in fact all my fault. And I was ready to admit it. It was time for Eric to hear... to learn some things.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stared at the ceiling. I didn't know what I was doing or what happened to my life. I was confused and it scared me. I feared this and I let it happen. I let him into my heart. I knew he was nothing good, I knew what he did to all those guys, what he did to Hyesung. But nothing mattered to my heart. I let it win over my brain, over my logic and common sense. I let myself give in to it, give in to Lee Minwoo. I let myself trust him and now I'm regretting it.  
  
Nothing happened. It confused me even more. Minwoo didn't try to do anything. He didn't change, I'm sure, but I couldn't trust him either. The whole 'I'm not changing, I'm showing you a different side of me' talk wasn't something I'd accept that easily.  
  
A couple of days passed since that night. Nothing happened. He just kissed me, I kissed him back, then we kissed some more and in the end he walked me back to my room. Nothing happened. Since then he started acting like we're a couple. I ignore him. As much as I can.  
  
We went out one more time. We repeated that night. Exactly the same. Dancing, kissing, going back home. I'm not giving in. But he's the happiest guy ever. Maybe I'll be able to put up with this. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying it, every second of it. But something just... doesn't feel right.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into my room and put my notes and music sheets down, then sat down and glanced at Jaejoong.  
  
"Still thinking about it?" I asked.  
  
"You know it." He replied shortly.  
  
"Yeah, well... stop banging your pretty head so much over nothing." I couldn't understand my best friend.  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Look, nothing happened so far and he's so happy you're just giving him that tiny chance. It's not really fair to him if you don't mean it. But I know you do. So, just, let go and enjoy yourself." I said. "Sometimes you have to take the risk to get what you want."  
  
  
Jaejoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I froze at those words. Minwoo's words. When did I start to think so much about him, about what he says and thinks and looks like and does? When did I start to care? When did I start falling? When did I lose it, give in?  
  
"That goes for you too." I replied quietly.  
  
Yoochun remained silent.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
"So, you're together?" Dongwan asked me during our break. I was showing him some ideas I head for the movie. I took a sip of my coffee and nodded.  
  
"Yeah." Then I thought about it. "Well, I like to think about it like that. He's kind of cold towards me." I said quietly.  
  
"He still doesn't trust you?" he asked.  
  
"He doesn't." I replied frowning. "I mean, he's struggling not to give in. He's trying and he just ends up making out with me. I'm the happiest man alive when he gives me that tiny bit of himself. It just means so much, I'm closer to him. But he doesn't open up, he doesn't let me in more then that."  
  
"Give him time." Dongwan nodded. "He'll learn to trust you, he'll see the real Minwoo." I nodded.  
  
"I just hope you're right." I sighed. I was happy that he was giving me a chance. I'm grabbing that chance and I'm certainly not letting go of it. Now that I know I can make him mine I'll do everything to do so.  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
"What are you saying?" I asked widening my eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry Eric. I really am." Junjin looked down. "It's my fault."  
  
"But then..."  
  
"He loves you, I'm sure he does. I don't know, I guess he's a lot better person then I'll ever be. He chose to give up you, the guy he liked, just because of me." Junjin bit his lip, not daring to look at me. "I've never been a good brother to him and I just hurt him. But I hurt you too and even Yunho, because he was in the middle of it all. And it took me a long time to realize who I really wanted. But by that time I managed to create a huge mess. I'm really sorry."  
  
I didn't know what to say. Could it really be that he liked me? That he lied to me? That he did all that because he thought it was for the best? That he thought we'll be happy if he retreats and in return become miserable? I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. I didn't know anything and the feeling was weird. I didn't know how to react.  
  
"Eric?" I must have looked really lost for quite some time as Junjin looked at me worriedly. "Are you alright?"  
  
"I'm fine." I said the words I was so used to saying. I became numb whenever they left my lips.  
  
"What are you going to do now?" another question I absolutely had no idea how to reply to.  
  
"Nothing."


	43. Chapter 43

Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I aimlessly wondered the streets. I didn't feel like going home, knowing I would be all alone again. I loved my loneliness, but I couldn't take anymore of it lately. I was alone all the time. Of course, I chose to be like that, I could always go and hang our with Yunho and Eric. Or Jaejoong and Yoochun. Or even Hyesung and Dongwan. But I was alone all the time, I couldn't face anyone. I couldn't smile anymore. My mask became a burden.  
  
A couple of weeks ago, when Dongwan saw me breaking down, I stopped spending so much time in my room. Instead, I would always go for a walk after classes and that stupid practice. I would breathe in fresh air and just avoid crowded places or well-known places. I didn't want to meet anyone, simply because it would mean that I needed to put on that smile I began to hate so much. I began to hate my own smile, how ridiculous is that?  
  
It hurt. My own smile. That... grimace... unknown to my heart. I smiled because I knew it was a polite thing to do, I laughed because I knew I should. I did everything not to show pain just because I wanted to avoid unnecessary looks and questions.  
  
I didn't want to think about Kim jerk anymore. I couldn't believe myself, even the fact that I couldn't call him jerk anymore hurt. I loved him. Like I never loved anyone, like I never thought it was possible. But it clearly was and no matter what he did I just loved him. No matter that he only hurt me, didn't pay attention to me, acted like I didn't even exist.  
  
I discovered that he watched me, I noticed. And that made me love him more. I didn't question why he did it and, more importantly, why he acted like he didn't and went even further, like I was no one. I didn't think about it, just the fact that he watched me made me fall deeper.  
  
It looked like there was no end to it... and I felt absolutely hopeless.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I followed him. Every day after that day when he came home late. I didn't want it to happen again, I didn't want to worry. I hated myself for being so weak, for falling for him. For still loving him after everything that happened. But I continued to love him, like some sort of a sick masochist. Did I enjoy torturing myself? I certainly did, but only when it came to Shim Changmin.  
  
I didn't know why he took this walk every day. It seemed to me that he did it completely random. It was different route every day, as if he was searching for something. Or on the other hand, it could be that he was running away from something. It was like he always chose different streets because he thought that whoever was after him already found out about his previous whereabouts. He didn't want to risk it. Yeah, that's right, he was running away from something. At least, that became my theory after a week of following him. After that I just continued following him, not even thinking about it.  
  
Wherever he went I was right behind him. We were completely alone. Just the two of us. Or rather... he was always alone and I was alone, but after him. He never noticed my presence.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Sungie?" Jaejoong called me during the class.  
  
"Hm?" I murmured, not looking away from my canvas.  
  
"I need to talk to you."  
  
"Now?" I asked.  
  
"No. Later."  
  
"Is something wrong?" I asked again, looking at him.  
  
"No, just... letting you know." I nodded.  
  
"Today?"  
  
"Better tomorrow." I nodded one more time.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Oh, just... peachy." He rolled his eyes. I chuckled.  
  
"That's so gay." I commented.  
  
"Thanks. You're too and I never complain." He poked out his tongue at me.  
  
I pouted playfully, but then glanced at the professor who already raised his eyebrows at the two of us. I cleared my throat and went back to my painting. Jae followed.  
  
He needs to talk to me? Yeah, we definitely need to talk.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
As Junsu and Changmin left I sat back down, pulling out sheet of a song I was currently working on. I've been working on it for quite some time, since we came back from winter holidays. Actually, I started it even before, during autumn. When I just met Eric. When Junjin told me to back off and give them space.  
  
I started it back then, overwhelmed with some foolish emotions I didn't think about much at the moment. I just let the music take me over. The whole situation was my inspiration. As it started hurting me more I stopped working on it. But then, with New Year another wave of inspiration took me and brought me back to this song.  
  
It's been almost three months. Every day I would give a little bit of myself to this song. Sometimes I'd just sit and stare at the music I wrote, not believing I did it. Somehow it didn't sound right. I didn't know what to do with it. On some other days I would write like a lunatic, I'd even wake up at night and write the lyrics, as quietly as I could I would hum the melody.  
  
But up until now, I still haven't finished the song.  
  
I started working again, but the whole thing again looked ridiculous. It was like it was one major confusion, causing another even bigger one in my head. I sighed, burying my head in my hands and thinking.  
  
What do I want to say with this? What am I feeling? What kind of feeling should it give away? I turned away from it, from my music, my art. It can't hurt me, but I'm still afraid to open up to it. After that day... I'm afraid to pour my emotions out into my music.  
  
Eric...  
  
Yoochun.  
  
I quickly turned around. I stared at the door for a couple of moments, then shook my head. I'm hallucinating again. He can't be there. He's not.  
  
I stood up and gathered my things. I didn't bother to look at my best buddy, the piano before I walked out of the classroom.  
  
Enough for today. I'm afraid.  
  
I'm losing my touch... I'm losing myself.  
  
  
Jaejoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Jae!" he called me as I went out of my classroom. And here I thought he won't be free enough to wait for me after classes. I glanced at Yunho and Junjin, who were grinning like idiots and then at Hyesung, who gave me a weird look. I guess he was surprised. I finally turned around and looked at him.  
  
"Minwoo." I said flatly. He walked over, with that grin of his plastered on his face. He put his arm around me and gave me a small soft kiss on lips. I didn't pull away. He could have that. He smiled again, clearly happy. "What are you doing here?" I asked, blushing a bit as I became aware of people staring at us. I uncomfortably looked around and then down, just wanting to disappear. Or move out of there as quickly as possible.  
  
"I wanted to see you." He said. "And I have free time today, so I thought we could go and grab something to eat."  
  
"You mean like dinner?" I blurted out, quite shocked.  
  
We haven't seen each other much and I was pretty content with that. Don't get me wrong, I would love to see him all the time, to be with him and not think about anything, but this way I really didn't need to think about anything. I didn't want to think how I have to control myself, how I have to stop before things go out of hand, how I have to be careful and not fall for him. Well, it was already too late and I knew it, I already fell, I just didn't want to admit it. There was a difference. And that's why I was afraid of meeting Minwoo.  
  
"Well... yeah." He nodded finally. "Let's go."  
  
"Umm... I... I have some stuff to do." I quickly lied.  
  
"But you must be starving." Minwoo said still smiling. "You have to eat in order to get anything done. Come on, I really wanted to spend this day with you. At least those couple of hours." He added.  
  
He didn't whine, he didn't sound like he was pressuring me into doing it. It was just a dinner. And deep down, I wanted to go. Silently, I nodded.  
  
  
Junjin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"They're becoming closer." I smirked, clutching onto Yunho's arm as we went into Heechul's and walked over to our usual table. I sat down, pulling my boyfriend close to me.  
  
"Well, I expected it from Minwoo. He gets whatever he wants." Yunho chuckled. Heechul came to us with our coffee. After so many months we stopped ordering it, Heechul would simply bring it to us.  
  
"Yeah, well, he deserves Jae." I nodded.  
  
"We didn't think so before, but yeah, you're right." Yunho said. "We learned a lot about Minwoo in this past couple of months."  
  
I nodded again, sipping my coffee in silence. We stayed like that for a couple of minutes.  
  
"Thank you." Yunho spoke. I glanced at him.  
  
"What for?" I asked chuckling a bit as I haven't expected those words from him.  
  
"For talking to Eric. He needed it." He said. "He told me what you said."  
  
"People shouldn't thank me for that." I replied looking back at my cup of coffee.  
  
"You should stop blaming yourself. It's not your fault they're not together."  
  
"It is." I replied. "If I wasn't such a jerk..."  
  
"We've been dating for two months and they're still not together. It's not your fault anymore." Yunho said softly, taking my hand and caressing it with his thumb. He was right. Why haven't they gotten together by now? I talked to Eric almost a month ago. And he did exactly what he said. Nothing.  
  
"Why?" I asked, thinking about it. Yunho gave me a puzzled look as I looked back at him. "Why haven't they gotten together yet? What is stopping them?"  
  
"Well..." Yunho started, thinking about it now as well. It took him a minute to figure it out. "I don't know." Not. Okay, he was as clueless as I was.  
  
It bothered me. Maybe because I started it all, maybe because it was my fault in the beginning. Maybe because I talked to Eric, I told him everything and he still haven't done a thing. Maybe because... because it concerned my brother. My dongsaeng's happiness.  
  
"Ho, I have to go." I said quickly kissing him and rushing out of the café, leaving my boyfriend behind, completely confused.  
  
I had to take care of this. I had to take care of him. For the first time in my life.


	44. Chapter 44

Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
We were sitting in the restaurant not far away from the campus. It wasn't so crowded today, even though there was quite a bit of people. It was okay with me, it wasn't like we couldn't talk normally and on the other hand, I could show off a bit. It wasn't like people didn't notice we're dating by now, but there was quite a bit of them that were still surprised seeing us together. I was satisfied, but I could clearly tell Jaejoong wasn't. He seemed to be extremely uncomfortable and it hurt me to see that, but I shrugged it off and just kept smiling at him. We sat in silence, eating. He was doing his best not to look at me, while I kept staring at him.  
  
"Is it okay?" I asked finally.  
  
"Hm?" he asked, barely paying attention to me.  
  
"The food. Do you like it?"  
  
"It's fine." He said simply. He hesitated for a moment, then looked up. "Yours?"  
  
I couldn't believe he actually asked me something. Even as simple and as meaningless as that it made me grin like a crazy fangirl who got noticed by her crush.  
  
"Oh yeah, it's great." I nodded enthusiastically. He gave a small nod and looked back at his plate, continuing to eat. Silence followed once again.  
  
I knew he was busying himself in order not to look at me nor at the people around us that were still occasionally giving us looks. I didn't pay attention to them whatsoever, I only wanted to pay attention to him. He was the one that interested me, no one else. I wondered why he still couldn't get that. Wasn't I clear enough already? Wasn't everything I did ever since I started running after him enough to make him change his opinion about me?  
  
He finished eating and put his utensils down, then rested one of his hands on the table, using the other one to rest his chin on it. I smiled at him as he finally looked at me.  
  
"Minwoo..." he started. I smiled even more. "Why are you doing this?"  
  
"This what?" I asked back, frowning a bit as it seemed like we're going back to square one. I was getting a bit tired of explaining something as simple as that. Ever since we started going out he kept questioning me more then while I was only chasing him.  
  
"This... running after me." He said sadly.  
  
  
Jaejoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I didn't know what I was doing anymore. He confused me beyond everything. I waited. Ever since we started dating I waited for him to do something that would show me his true side. The one I knew so well, the one I expected for him to show once he felt comfortable enough. I hated myself for doing that, but I couldn't let go, I couldn't let myself become his. I didn't trust him one bit, I wanted him to fail, to not be able to take it anymore, to explode. That way I'd know I wasn't wrong. That way I'd be able to leave him and not look back. I never even once thought I might be wrong.  
  
So, as much as it hurt me to keep questioning him, to keep questioning myself, I couldn't stop myself from asking. I was a mess and he was a cause of it all.  
  
He watched me, his smile slowly turning into a deeper frown. He looked different and suddenly, I was afraid that I didn't know him at all. How many faces do you have Minwoo? Who are you?  
  
"You still don't know?" he asked. I didn't say a thing. "You still don't trust me?" he continued.  
  
"I've never seen you like this." I admitted. "And it scares me." I couldn't really hide anymore. I mean, what's the point?  
  
"You're afraid of me?" He asked then, quite shocked.  
  
"No, that's not what I meant." I replied quickly, looking away and noticing all the people staring at us again. I sighed, shaking my head. That's when I felt his hand on top of mine.  
  
"You have nothing to be afraid of Jae." He said softly. I didn't look at him, instead I looked down. You have no idea how much it hurts Minwoo. I shook my head a bit.  
  
"You're still not willing to take that risk." He added. "But you're not risking anything, trust me." I kept silent. He chuckled sadly. "Oh yeah, you can't do that yet." I looked at him.  
  
"I don't understand you. I don't know... I just..." I shook my head, pulling my hand away from him. He looked at me sadly.  
  
"It's alright. I understand." He nodded, then shut up.  
  
We sat in silence again, but he wasn't looking at me. I looked back down, then up at him, watching him for a moment, before he finally looked back at me.  
  
"I think I should go now, neh?" he gave me a small smile. I didn't say anything. He stood up and left, stopping by the bar that was nearby and obviously paying for our dinner.  
  
He didn't even look at me before he walked out of the restaurant. I don't know him. I don't know him at all. But how can he be the cause of my pain?  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into my room and stopped by the door as I looked at Yunho, a bit surprised to see him there. His afternoon coffee with Junjin were an every day ritual. Therefore, I was usually the one to come back to the room first - well, ever since I stopped going to the music department to watch Yoochun compose. But that's beside the point. I don't want to think about it. Finished story... right?  
  
"Well... it's nice to see you too, Eric." Yunho said sarcastically, but a bit too cheerfully. I must've looked really surprised.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I blurted out, walking over to the chair and putting my bag down.  
  
"I live here." That smartass.  
  
"I meant, aren't you suppose to be drinking coffee and be all over Junjin?" I rolled my eyes, making dumb facial expressions along with kissing sounds.  
  
"Jealous?" Yunho laughed.  
  
"Of course." I teased. It felt good, I haven't been talking to Yunho like this for ages. It was weird that thought crossed my mind at that moment. I missed those old times terribly. I wasn't the same person anyway and I knew it must have hurt Yunho and my other friends to see me like this. To see what I turned into these past couple of weeks. It's been awhile too. I frowned.  
  
"I'm sorry, Yunho." I said suddenly. I could see his cheerful smile dropping as well at my words and he stood up from his bed and started walking over to me.  
  
"What for?" he asked softly and I couldn't help but smile at my best friend. My best friend who has always been there for me, whenever I needed him. I never realized just how much I loved him, how much I appreciated his friendship. He was more then a friend, he was my brother. Truly special. If it wasn't for him I would still be all alone and desperate. It wasn't like I wasn't, but still, he made everything a lot better with just being there to watch me cry, to hold me and comfort me. He didn't even need words. We didn't even need words, he understood me, just like I understood him and just his presence was enough. I needed nothing more.  
  
"For everything." I said as I already embraced him. "I was a jerk lately. And you kept up with me."  
  
"Yeah, well, I have to." He chuckled. "You know it's not allowed to change roommates in the middle of the year without a good enough reason." I playfully hit him, letting a chuckle escape my lips. "Hey, you're laughing!" he exclaimed happily.  
  
"I'm not laughing you jerk." I pulled away quickly and glared at him.  
  
"Hey, I heard that, it was a chuckle. And I'm not a jerk, you... you... crybaby!" he replied quickly.  
  
I gasped, widening my eyes dramatically.  
  
"I'm not..." I started, thinking of what to say.  
  
"Yeah, well, how do you call a person that whines and cries because they miss their dog?"  
  
"You! I wasn't crying... and she's not a dog, she's my Marshy!" I cried out loud, pointing at him accusingly.  
  
"Yeah, yeah... okay... dork." He chuckled, hugging me again. I smiled behind his back. "Wanna call her now?" he asked. I nodded, pulling away to look at him, making the saddest face I could, all together with the pout. He turned around to grab the phone. I grinned again, until he turned back around and handed me the phone.  
  
It felt good. It felt extremely good. Maybe things will come back to normal.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I opened the door. Jaejoong still hasn't come back, but I saw Hyesung earlier and he told me he went out with Minwoo. It was slightly weird to think Jae finally gave into Minwoo's charm, but I was glad nonetheless. He deserved to be happy, after everything that happened. And unlike him, I believed Minwoo is a good guy, I believed he won't hurt him.  
  
However, what I didn't expect when I opened the door was to find my brother standing in front of me.  
  
"Jin?" I questioned, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.  
  
"Hey Chun. Can I come in?" he asked. I moved from the door, opening it more and letting him slip in. He was always so... gracious. Unlike me. I don't know. We really looked nothing alike. And it never really bothered me. Just his behavior towards me did.  
  
"What's up?" I asked, sitting on my bed and looking at him as he took a seat across from me.  
  
"We need to talk." He replied. I raised my eyebrows, still not getting why he decided to visit me all of the sudden.  
  
"Okay. What about?" I asked immediately. I was curious.  
  
"About you and your... currently non-existent love life." He replied. I smirked. So, this is about Eric? I didn't say anything, just looked away. "What do you think you're doing?"  
  
  
Junjin's P.O.V.  
  
  
He quickly looked back at me, sending me a little glare. Obviously, he didn't find it suitable for me to ask him that. I couldn't blame him. Afterall, I did cause this all mess he was going through. They both are going through. All because I was selfish and inconsiderate.  
  
"I-I'm sorry... I didn't..." I started quickly, afraid he might be mad at me now.  
  
"You have no right to ask me that." He said coldly.  
  
"I know, I'm sorry, I didn't want to say it like that... I wasn't thinking..." I apologized.  
  
"You're right, you weren't thinking." Yoochun nodded. "You never think. All my life, you never once thought how I felt about something." He said. Every word hurt me. Only then I realized how much I must've hurt him. It took me so long to realize what I was doing. It took me so long to realize that I didn't want to do anything of that. And most of all it made me realize that I did in fact love him. He's my little brother. It might be late, but now I want to take care of his and protect him. It's not late... or is it?  
  
"I'm sorry Chun." I said sadly. "I'm sorry about everything. I always gave you a hard time, didn't I?" I continued. He didn't say anything, he wasn't even looking at me. "And I went overboard this time."  
  
I expected some kind of reply, but none came. I sighed.  
  
"I don't know what to do about it now... except apologize." I added, truly not knowing what I should do to make him forgive me for everything.  
  
"It's alright... I-I always understood you." He did? "I never said anything, I just wanted you to be happy. So, I put up with it all. You're my hyung Jin." Another pang of guilt clawed at my heart and I quickly moved over to his bed and pulled him into a hug.  
  
"Jin..." he said, obviously taken aback with my sudden expressing of affection. We never hugged, never talked like this, never 'bonded' as brothers.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Chun. I really am. I was so selfish and I never even thought about you and your feelings. About what you wanted, what you needed." I said, tightening my hold on him. He hugged me back hesitantly. We stayed like that for a long moment until he finally pulled away.  
  
"It's alright, it's in the past now." He smiled a bit, sadly. "You're still my brother and we're alright now. I want us to be closer... is that okay?" he asked, like a little kid. I remembered when we were little, how he always wanted to be around me, how he looked up at me, how he wanted to be just like me. He had the same expression back then, that hopeful expression, wanting to be around me, to be a part of my life. I was his hyung. However, I never acted like one. And I needed to change that and change it quickly.  
  
"Of course." I smiled broadly. "I want us to be closer too. I want us to finally be like true brothers. I want to be there for you whenever you need me... even when you don't." I chuckled. He grinned happily. I've never seen him like that, this was the first time he grinned at me. He was so happy, for the first time I didn't disappoint him, I showed my love towards him, I showed that I care. And I wanted to keep that grin on his face. I'll never make you suffer again, my little bro.  
  
He didn't reply, instead he pulled me into another hug. He was already a grown up man, but he acted like such a child. He was so vulnerable and now it seemed like I took advantage of it. The thing with Eric bugged me so much, now more then ever. He deserved anything but what I did to him. To Eric as well.  
  
"I need to talk to you, Chun. I'm serious." I said, still hugging him. I felt him stiffen slightly in my arms.  
  
"About..." he choked on his own words. I was afraid he might start crying. But I couldn't just stop there.  
  
"About Eric." I finished for him. I heard a sob. "Yoochun?" I asked, looking down at his face, but he hid it in my shoulder. I realized he was crying.  
  
He never was the one to cry out loud. Ever since he was a baby. You could rarely hear him cry hard, loud and... hysterical. He rarely cried and even when he did it was faint... since he grew up I've never ever seen him cry. I knew he was keeping it all in him. Or if he did cry he was hiding, doing it away from everyone else. I knew he wasn't ashamed to cry, he just wasn't that kind of person. I also knew he did it like that because he didn't want to burden anyone. He never was a burden to anyone.  
  
"Yoochun?" I asked again, more soothingly as I rubbed his back. He sobbed slightly louder and it truly was heart-wrenching. I let him cry for a moment.  
  
"What am I going to do hyung?" he asked, finally calming down a bit. "I don't know what to do..."  
  
"Chun... he loves you." I replied calmly, looking at him sadly.  
  
"He doesn't... he can't love me anymore." He shook his head. "He gave up on me... I know he did."  
  
"How?" I asked, confused. How could he be so sure?  
  
"He just doesn't... I know." He replied firmly. "It hurts so much hyung, it hurts." He sobbed again, swallowing hard, obviously trying to stop himself from doing so. "I love him so much." He whispered.  
  
"I don't believe that. He loves you. He's a wreck without you." I shook my head in return, quickly, wanting to make him believe, wanting to make him stop hurting himself.  
  
"No..."  
  
"Yes, just talk to him." I said. "What do you have to lose?" I asked then. He looked at me again.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
What do I have to lose? He was absolutely right. What did I have to lose? Absolutely nothing.


	45. Chapter 45

Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
I waited for Jaejoong after our class, since we finally agreed to go over to Heechul's for a coffee and a talk. I was very curious about everything that was obviously going on between him and Minwoo. I was already assuming what was going on, but I wanted him to tell me himself. I didn't know how long I'll be able to put up with Jaejoong being like this. He was starting to get on my nerves with the whole thing with Minwoo. I knew Minwoo, maybe better then anyone. Except maybe Yunho, Junjin and Dongwan. They knew the whole story as well. I even heard that Minwoo was writing music for Dongwan's new film and it surprised me a bit, but then again, he was finally opening up to us all. And to Jaejoong the most. Too bad he doesn't see it.  
  
"Are we going?" Jaejoong asked me, waking me up from my thoughts. I nodded and we started walking out of the building and across the street, to Heechul's.  
  
  
Jaejoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I followed Hyesung to Heechul's, already knowing what he'll tell me. But still, I wanted to talk to him. Maybe even wanting to hear what I knew he was gonna tell me. I knew him too well, just like he knew me. He probably knows that I secretly want him to support that relationship. Even though I'm still fighting against it.  
  
"Hey guys." Heechul greeted us as we sat down. "What's up? You have some juicy rumor for my hungry ears?" he waggled his eyebrows at us. I made a face at his facial expression.  
  
"Please... don't ever do that again Chul." Hyesung said, shaking his head, making me chuckle a bit.  
  
"Oh you're just jealous of my hotness." He smirked... just as nastily, may I say.  
  
"Oh god, I think I'm gonna puke..." I shook my head, while Hyesung tried hard not to laugh.  
  
"Yes, Chul, you're one sexy beast." He nodded seriously. I had to wonder how he always managed to mess around with Heechul like that and keep a straight face.  
  
"Why thank you Sungie." Heechul grinned. Another nasty image. "Now, anything new - someone kissed someone, had sex, made someone pregnant... oh wait, that's already covering straight issues. Not my department." He shook his head, thinking about it for a moment.  
  
"Actually, I heard Junjin is trying to bring Eric and Yoochun together." Hyesung replied nonchalantly. I widened my eyes.  
  
"Sungie!" I whined.  
  
"What? I know he's your best friend, but it's a nice 'juicy' news as Heechul says." Hyesung defended himself.  
  
"Hello, I'm still there, you should at least not talk about me like I'm not around." Heechul flattened his eyes at our little bickering.  
  
"Alright, fine." I pouted, not paying attention to him and glaring at Hyesung a bit.  
  
"Anyway, yeah, I expect them to get together soon." Hyesung continued, turning back to Heechul.  
  
"Finally." Heechul smirked.  
  
"I say." Hyesung nodded. Just then a couple of girls entered the café. Heechul quickly straightened himself.  
  
"Ugh... guys I have to go..." he said, hurriedly walking over to them to take their order.  
  
"Heechul!" Hyesung started, but then shook his head. "Typical... we haven't even ordered."  
  
"He knows what we're gonna have anyway." I replied, still feeling slightly annoyed at Sungie talking about my best friend's love life.  
  
"You're still mad?" he chuckled a bit. "It's just Heechul."  
  
"I know, but that's not the point. That's my best friend and I don't want to spread rumors about him." I replied.  
  
"Those are not rumors, I'm sure it'll become truth soon. Besides, we're all just happy for them." He said, smiling warmly at me.  
  
"I know. You're right." I nodded. "Just don't talk so much about it."  
  
"Okay." He rolled his eyes a bit, making me chuckle in return and then flashed me that Sungie-smile. "So, you wanted to talk about?" he smirked, knowing that I know that he knows perfectly well what I wanted to talk about.  
  
"My innocent Sungie... can't possibly think of what I was gonna talk about with him..." I teased, shaking my head a bit.  
  
"Well, I do have an idea."  
  
"I'm still in love with Yunho." I said seriously.  
  
"Yeah..." He nodded, then widened his eyes. "Wait, what?" I laughed, shaking my head.  
  
"Hey, what's so funny?" Heechul re-appeared next to us, putting our coffees on the table and then quickly sitting next to Hyesung.  
  
"I can't believe you actually believed that." I continued to laugh, looking at Hyesung.  
  
"Believed what?" Heechul interrupted again.  
  
"Do you have to butt into everything?" Hyesung narrowed his eyes at Heechul and then turned back to me. "You're mean."  
  
"You didn't mind him butting in before." I smirked, pointing to Heechul.  
  
"You're mean." Hyesung repeated, sulking a bit.  
  
"Hello, guys... I'm still here..." Heechul rolled his eyes this time and stood up again. "You both are mean. And rude." He scoffed, stomping off.  
  
"Hey, Chul..." I called. He turned around, hope written all over his face. I smirked, knowing he wanted to eavesdrop more. "This is on the house, right?"  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smiled as Minwoo hit the stop button. He was showing me what he wrote for my film and I was more then satisfied with the music I got.  
  
"Minwoo, it's awesome." I nodded. "Exactly what I wanted. Thanks so much man." I replied, truly liking what he made. It just fit into the whole picture so well.  
  
"Thanks." He smiled back, obviously glad that I was satisfied.  
  
"So, what's going on with you lately?" I asked. I didn't really want to ask directly, knowing it must be a bit of a painful subject to him, but it really seemed like he had a lot of trouble winning Jaejoong over.  
  
"You mean me and Jaejoong?" he asked directly. He was always the one to get straight to the topic. "Honestly Wannie... I've been thinking about it... maybe I should just stop trying." He sighed.  
  
"What? How can you say that?" I asked, surprised to hear something like that coming out of Minwoo's mouth.  
  
"It just looks like he'll be better off without me. I'm putting him through too much, obviously." He added.  
  
"What are you talking about?" I asked again. "You're just gonna quit like that?"  
  
"No, it's not about me quitting, it's about him not being happy. He obviously isn't. Maybe he just doesn't like me enough to go through that all, so I should stop running after him and embarrassing myself." He said, more firmly now.  
  
"I honestly don't understand you. I don't think he doesn't like you enough. If he didn't, then you wouldn't go even this far, trust me." I replied. "I know Jaejoong. And if he opened up to you this much that means he really likes you."  
  
"But it's not enough. I can feel it."  
  
"You don't know what you're feeling anymore when it comes to Jaejoong. You don't know him that well. I know that. I've been his friend for a while, long before you even laid your eyes on him." I replied again. "What's happening to you? What happened to the confident Minwoo I used to know?" I asked, shocked to see him like this.  
  
"He fell in love with the person that doesn't trust him one bit." He replied, smiling sadly. "I just don't want to get hurt."  
  
"You won't. Trust me." I smiled warmly, putting my hand on his shoulder. "Just wait for a bit longer. Don't give up."  
  
He gave me another sad smile and nodded. I just hope Jaejoong will understand him and see the true Minwoo soon.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
"So, what's exactly going on between Minwoo and you?" I asked seriously after we were done teasing Heechul. Jaejoong sighed and looked down at his cup of coffee. That was obviously not a good sign.  
  
"We... I don't know." He shook his head. "I still can't trust him."  
  
"Why Jae?" I asked. "I seriously don't see where's the problem anymore. I'm okay with him, Dongwan is okay with him, even Yunho is okay with him and we all know how protective he is when it comes to you."  
  
"Yeah, I know. But I just can't bring myself to let go and just be with him." He replied. "I'm scared Sungie. I don't think I've ever been this scared of being rejected and thrown away in the end."  
  
"You love him." I said quietly as I finally realized and understood him.  
  
He didn't say anything. Simply because I finally stated the obvious. And he couldn't deny it anymore.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked through the corridors of drama department. Acting classes... someone was screaming in the classroom in the far end of the hallway, making me cringe. I couldn't understand how could someone stand having a class next to them. But then again, the atmosphere in the music department wasn't the most quiet either. I smiled as I kept walking as soon as the screaming stopped. I shook my head as I heard someone singing... no, trying to sing. I cringed again and quickened my pace, getting further away from the classroom those unpleasant sounds were coming from.  
  
I glanced at the next classroom, hoping I'll find him. I saw Yunho. My heart quickened its beating as I knew that he must be there as well. He had to be.  
  
But next to Yunho there was one empty seat. The only empty seat in the classroom. And I knew exactly who it belonged to.  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
The sun was already setting. I had nothing better to do so I decided to go over to this wonderful open spot high above the campus. I discovered it a long time ago and have been visiting it from time to time. Whenever I felt extremely happy, sad or lonely. I wasn't sure what I was today.  
  
One of my professors called me today and told me that I got a leading role in the movie one of his friends was directing. The guy obviously saw me on one of our classes and he thought I had potential. It was a great opportunity and it wasn't that far away from home, we were supposed to start filming as soon as the exams are over.  
  
I was happy today, wasn't I? I was supposed to be happy. But I don't have anyone to share it with. Of course, I have my friends, I have Yunho. But it's not the same. I need someone else... I need someone that even my Marshy can't replace - ironically, she's not with me today either. But still... I need him.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stood behind him, trying to steady my breath. I finally found him. I found him a long time ago, months ago, when I first came here. I was just stupid to not grab him and never let go. Maybe I was too late, maybe this was all worthless now, but just for a moment I wanted to believe... I found him.


	46. Chapter 46

Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stared at the sun slowly setting in front of me. True, I wasn't feeling as down as I used to now already months ago, but still... I felt that longing I learned to know it's pointless to fight. I sighed once again as I, once again, realized I could only learn to live with it. It became normal - as much as it could be, but still it hurt. I began to wonder if it'll ever heal completely. Even though I was doing my best not to meet him, not to see him, it still didn't help me to forget him. I just couldn't.  
  
He was like the sun. Like sun would set down every day, disappear to generously give its place to the night, he disappeared to be replaced with this temporary darkness. But in the end the sun would rise again. Each and every day. Just like that... he would resurface in my mind, in my heart over and over again. I couldn't get over him. My life just couldn't go on without him.  
  
So now, looking at that same sun I accustomed myself to compare him with, made me feel the same emptiness again. I was a part of a completely pointless circle. I made it myself and no matter how much I wanted to break free from going along that path of pointless one-sided love, which was also absolutely disastrous for myself - the mere fact that I was very well aware of that and I could do nothing about it was just bringing me more pain. It just wasn't helping at all. But then again, I didn't need help. I refused help.  
  
I came to realization. I'm some kind of sick masochist who's just lying to himself and simply doesn't want to admit it. I'm drowning in my own fantasy, my own world - but the funny thing is that I'm not sure if I like it. Maybe I am. Maybe it's something that in some weird way makes me feel comfortable. Not that I like him not loving me, of course not. I just love him too much to let myself let go. Even the mere thinking of him, even just wanting him, that longing I don't even fight... it's better then... anything else.  
  
I am pathetic. But who made that be a bad thing? I would be stupid to say I'm proud of it. But... all I did was fall in love. And I refuse to fall out of it. To even try.  
  
However, days like this... they make me wonder. Is it enough? No. Will it be enough?  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stood there watching him for a long moment before I finally decided to approach him. I was right behind him when I heard him say something.  
  
"Yoochun."  
  
I blinked, biting my lips slightly and then taking another step to stand next to him. I was slightly surprised he hadn't noticed me yet and it only gave me a moment to look at his beautiful face, which I was grateful for. He turned to face me finally, surprised to see me, but didn't say anything. Looking at him gave me the weird feeling that he doesn't believe I'm there, beside him. He stared at me for a brief moment before he returned to his previous position, watching the sun.  
  
"It's been a while." I said quietly, surprising myself with the ability to talk. Since he didn't say anything I dared to continue. "I-I've been waiting for you." I could see him being surprised again, but he was trying not to show it. "I missed you." I breathed out finally, looking into his eyes as he looked back at me at those words.  
  
I couldn't read what he was thinking and that only made me lose that little self-confidence I got with him whispering my name. Maybe I went too far, maybe he didn't look at me the same way he used to. Doubts filled my mind in those couple of seconds, urging me to turn around and leave again. But a big part of me just couldn't let myself do it. I couldn't take it anymore, it was enough. The heartache, the thinking, the unhappiness and most of all - the doubts. I wasn't sure what's ahead of me, I felt so insecure because of that, when everything I wanted was Eric and Eric alone.  
  
I took a small step back, but Eric's hand on mine quickly stopped me.  
  
"You missed me?" Eric asked and if his facial expression wasn't able to give him out his voice was. And it made my heart flutter. I gave a small nod, swallowing slightly to be able to speak again.  
  
"Why did you stop?" I managed to ask, not being able to finish what and wondering if he'll catch up with my thoughts.  
  
"What? Chasing you?" he asked, obviously frowning slightly as if he was ashamed of it.  
  
"No. Watching me." I said, gathering courage all over again. "You used to come every day. I used to wait."  
  
"So that's all this is about? You feel weird that no one is stalking you... that's actually ironic. Is that all it is?" he spat. I've never seen him like that, have I hurt him this much?  
  
"No." I quickly shook my head. "No, I missed you." I almost cried out, then realizing I raised my voice I looked away, taking another step back. "I'm still waiting."  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched him with wide eyes. I didn't even know he was aware of me watching him, let alone that he waited and especially, that he'll say something like this. Could it be that I'm not dreaming and he's saying what only Yoochun from my dreams would? My mind fought with my heart, telling that I shouldn't hope, but that's just not the way it works. The way I work.  
  
"What?" I whispered rudely, still staring at him.  
  
"I'm waiting... I'm playing and writing and just sitting there, but I don't know what's the point anymore." He shook his head, refusing to look at me. "You left me Eric. When everything was solved I was a fool for believing you'll come back. You just left this... emptiness behind you. I can't do anything... I lost myself. A part of me died." He said the last few words so softly I barely heard them.  
  
"Yoochun." I replied softly, my heart beating fast as I couldn't calm myself down. Everything he said was just too much. And I let the words hang in between us, afraid to ruin everything even with uneven breathing. His eyes met mine again and even before he opened his mouth I knew.  
  
"I love you." I kissed him. Feel me Yoochun, feel everything. And I felt it too. And I smiled at the wet traces of our mutual happiness. And I brought him closer.  
  
"I love you too." He smiled at the confirmation, at the words he waited to hear, much like I did. And he kissed me again. Over and over again.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into my room, put my things down and managed to fall on my bed before the door opened and Junsu walked in.  
  
"Hey. What's up?" I watched him sit on Dongwan's bed.  
  
"Where's Wan?" he asked in reply while I sat up.  
  
"You know he's busy these days... well, he always is." I fought the urge to sigh at the fact that I rarely got to see my best friend. It just reminded me of the time before New Year, but I didn't let myself get depressed because of it. He was trying to spend more time with me... and it wasn't like I didn't have work to do myself either.  
  
"How are you?" Junsu asked next, waking me up from my thoughts.  
  
"I'm fine." I shrugged. My life was... well, boring. Nothing was happening, I was busy with college work and occasionally got to chat with my friends, but that was it. "You? You seem to be... out of it lately." I asked back, trying to approach the matter as subtly as possible.  
  
I knew something seriously was wrong. And I knew it included Changmin. Ever since after the Christmas holidays Junsu's been drifting away from all of us. I knew Wannie was worried, but he didn't really think about it. I didn't even know if he had a chance to talk to Junsu about it, but I doubted it.  
  
"Nah, I'm fine..." he obviously lied and I sighed, getting up. "Want something to eat? Umma sent me amazing cookies." I grinned, walking over to my stack of sweets. Umma always sent extra more for Wannie and Junsu, knowing how much my best friends adored them. But Junsu wasn't half as eager to try them as he usually would be.  
  
"Come on, take some..." I said, slightly pushing him with the box full of cookies as I took a seat next to him.  
  
"Are you trying to bribe me into talking?" he smirked, glancing at me.  
  
"Of course, what else?" I replied, smiling broadly and taking a cookie and finally sticking it into Junsu's mouth. "Come on, eat. And then you'll tell me everything that's bothering you." I winked at him, smiling warmly and watched him taking a bite of that cookie, then smiling at me.  
  
"I want you to be my brother-in-law." He said like a little kid and I laughed, partly for finding it so adorable and partly in an attempt to hide both my embarrassement and doubt. I doubted that will ever happen. After everything that happened... well, more like didn't happen between Wannie and me... I lost my hope and, along with it, my courage.  
  
"What is going on with you guys?" Junsu continued and I shook my head.  
  
"I don't get you. Nothing's going on." I replied, taking a cookie myself and trying to busy myself with eating it. Junsu sighed, taking another bite too and continuing watching me.  
  
"You guys... you're either slow, either playing stupid..." he said after a moment, shaking his head.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
As soon as those words left my mouth I realized what I said and froze. Those words... I remember them clearly, coming out of Changmin's mouth that first day of us being roommates. I swallowed, closing my eyes and fighting not to break down.  
  
"Su?" I heard Sungie calling me. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Changmin..." I couldn't say anything else as I kept my eyes closed. "I'm going crazy... god..." I almost sobbed, shaking my head and leaning forward to rest my head in my hands.  
  
"Why Junsu? What's going on with you and Changmin?" Hyesung asked more, worriedly looking at me as I looked back at him. I slowly exhaled, knowing I couldn't keep it inside of me anymore. I needed to tell someone. Desperately.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stood next to the bar, ordering my drink and looking over at the dance floor. It was so crowded, but it was Saturday, so you could expect it. I spotted a lot of familiar people, including Yunho and Junjin , but most of them had some private parties going on... including Yunho and Junjin. Sometimes I wonder if they're doing it in front of me on purpose, trying to make me feel jealous and desperate and expecting something more of me. Something along the lines of 'attacking and ravishing Jaejoong' I suppose. God knows I wouldn't mind. We already concluded I became sexually frustrated, right?  
  
I sighed, my own thoughts bringing a slight pout on my lips as I took a sip of my drink and turned back around to watch the people dance. As I did so I spotted a very well known face. Jaejoong was dancing rather seductively, grinding against some guy so hotly I felt sick just by watching it. I immediately stood up, not being able to control myself. Why would I control myself anyway, that was my boyfriend that idiot was molesting. Alright, maybe we weren't exactly a couple after our last conversation... Oh, who am I kidding, we never were a couple. And Jaejoong doesn't really look like he's being molested. But who cares? I can't stand watching this, I can't stand anyone else touching him like that, looking at him like that.  
  
I rushed over and pushed the guy away from my Jae. Jaejoong looked at me, raising his eyebrow slightly and stopping dancing, while the other guy moved back closer to glare at me.  
  
"Yah! I was dancing..." he started, but I cut him off.  
  
"Back off." I replied calmly, standing in front of Jaejoong protectively. I wasn't even aware of this side of me.  
  
"What's your problem, jerk?" he asked, raising his voice and I smirked.  
  
"You. Drooling all over my boyfriend." I watched him look from me to Jaejoong, as if asking if it was true. But my smirk didn't get the chance to last for long, since Jaejoong's cold voice wiped it off.  
  
"I'm not your boyfriend."


	47. Chapter 47

Jaejoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
As soon as those words left my mouth I knew I made a terrible mistake. I watched him look at me with such a hurt expression on his face and I felt like I just hurt myself more then I could ever him. I have no idea why I said it, I guess I just wanted to distance myself from him. I couldn't even remember the reason for it anymore.  
  
He didn't say anything, just slowly shook his head and stepped back, then quickly went away and out of the club.  
  
"Minwoo!" I called, moving after him, going out as well and trying to catch up to him.  
  
"Leave me alone." He replied quietly, but I didn't let him go like that. I had to do something.  
  
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean it that way." I said, slightly desperately. That made him turn around.  
  
"Yes you did. You wouldn't have said it otherwise." He said firmly, looking at me. "And you're right. I kept lying to myself. I let myself believe you felt the same."  
  
"Minwoo..." I tried again, but still didn't bring myself to say it. Is it that hard?  
  
"Yeah, so... you were obviously right. I guess I needed to hear it..." he said, hurt evident in both his voice and the way he looked at me. When did I become the bad guy here? It made me angry. He was the jerk, not I.  
  
"Yeah, well... I shouldn't have said it like that... but you never managed to make me trust you." I said back.  
  
"What?" Minwoo looked at me in shock. "I didn't make you trust me? Are you listening to yourself? I've been running after you for months, I've been trying to show you I'm not the person you and everyone else see me as. I tried everything Jaejoong, I seriously can't think of anything else to do to make you trust me - as you nicely put it." He finished sarcastically. I remained silent as he waited for some sort of a reply.  
  
"You know..." he started again, sighing slightly. "I'm seriously starting to think this all is just not worth it." He shook his head in disappointment and backed away from me once again, brushing it all with his hand before he turned around again and started walking back to the dorms.  
  
It's not worth it? I'm not worth you?  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was lying down on my bed. It was already near midnight and I knew I had to get up early, but I didn't feel like sleeping at all. Thoughts invaded my mind and for the first time in months I wasn't thinking just about my relationship with Dongwan. I was thinking about all of our friends and it made me feel ashamed about how selfish I was this whole year. Thinking only about myself, doing my business and not paying attention to anyone. It hurt to think that I wasn't a good friend to them.  
  
But what bugged me the most was the fact that our little group of friends seemed... kind of lost. More or less. What happened to us really? It seemed like Yunho and Junjin... and of course, Heechul and Donghae were the only one who had found some sort of happiness. At least they had each other. The rest of us had each other, but that wasn't enough, it was clear most of us, if not all were absolutely miserable. In some way or another we hoped for a lot of things this year, but the end of the year is driving closer and this depressive thought is crawling into my mind, this question - will we accomplish something? Anything at all?  
  
I know it might be the fact that I'm all cold and alone for the most of my time, especially in the evenings, especially now. I know maybe that's the reason for my pessimistic mood, but can anyone blame me?  
  
Yoochun and Eric, Jaejoong and Minwoo, Changmin and Junsu... and I. It's like... it's exactly like Junsu said tonight - are we slow or just playing stupid? You'd think that being a college student, a grown-up will help you comprehend some things, help you mature. But what happened to us?  
  
I still couldn't believe what Junsu told me today. I didn't want to accept it, I still can't. Changmin to place a bet on turning Junsu gay? Alright, maybe he could've done that. But to go that far, to pretend like that? That's just too much, impossible. I knew Minnie that much, he wouldn't be able to do that. And I know the way he played with Junsu - yes played, in the beginning, but then I also remember the way he watched him, he acted around him later. And I know that boy loved Su. As much as Su loved him, if not more.  
  
Of course, when I said all that to Junsu he didn't want to believe me. I understand him, if I were in the same situation I wouldn't either. And that makes me think... Love is blind, heart takes over common sense - when it comes to trust and believing the person we love heart's afraid it'll eventually break. We don't like changes, we don't like risks. And there's nothing you could do about it... until the time comes when you simply can't take it anymore.  
  
We're neither slow nor playing stupid. We're simply in love.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
I sighed as I walked into my and Hyesung's room and put my bag down. I looked up then and smiled, surprised to see Hyesung still up.  
  
"Hey. You're still awake?" I said, walking to the bathroom and washing my hands, then grabbing my clothes.  
  
"Yeah, I can't sleep." He replied and I looked back at him.  
  
"Why? Is something wrong?" I asked worriedly.  
  
"Nah... go, take a shower, then I'll tell you." He gave me a small smile and I nodded, going to bathroom and quickly washing myself. As I went back Hyesung smiled and motioned for me to come over to him.  
  
"Now tell me." I smiled as I laid down next to him.  
  
"I missed you." He simply said, snuggling into me, wrapping his arms tightly around me.  
  
"I'm sorry Sungie... I'm sick of apologizing, but I'm truly sorry." I started.  
  
"Don't apologize, just... tell me you missed me too." He said quietly and I smiled.  
  
"I missed you too, I do every day." I replied softly, kissing his forehead and looking down at him. I could see him smile as his facial expression changed into a much calmer one.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
That's all I needed... maybe we'll get what we're looking for afterall.  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Come on... are you sure they're there?" Yoochun asked me as he held my hand, tugging my arm slightly in the direction of my room. I could only stare at him and follow.  
  
"They should be." I nodded, watching him in awe as he happily moved further towards it, finally stopping in front of it and looking back at me before knocking on the door.  
  
"It's my room, you know... I don't need to knock..." I replied.  
  
"Oh yeah..." he laughed, pushing the door open and stepping in, pulling me with him.  
  
"Guys..." Yunho said and I could see a shirtless Junjin sitting on his lap.  
  
"Ah hyung..." Yoochun made a face, looking away. "Yunho is fully covered, right?" he whispered to me.  
  
"He is." I whispered back, nodding slightly. "Why are we whispering?" he shrugged and I looked back at the couple in front of us, groaning as I noticed something else. "Eww guys, that's my bed."  
  
"What? Hyung that's disgusting." Yoochun looked back at his brother.  
  
"He's saying 'eww'?" Junjin laughed, looking at my best friend who just nodded and laughed as well. "That's so gay."  
  
"You're the one to talk." I responded.  
  
"Yeah! Manw.hore." Yoochun added, then chuckled, blushing slightly. "I mean... you used to be." Junjin just shot him a look.  
  
"I believe you had something to tell us." Yunho cut in, looking at me with a knowing smirk.  
  
"How did you know?" I asked back, but Yoochun nudged me.  
  
"We're together... that's a rare sight." He explained and I nodded.  
  
"It was until now." I corrected.  
  
"Does that mean... ?" Yunho wiggled his eyebrows playfully and chuckled as Junjin jumped off him - well, it was about time - and ran towards us to hug us.  
  
"Hyung... your shirt first... please." Yoochun quickly said, putting his hands in front of us both and Junjin obediently nodded and started searching for his shirt as the rest of us snickered.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I went out of the bathroom and took one last look at the mirror, examining my outfit. I glanced over at Changmin who seemed to be so deep into what he's been reading. I shrugged, grabbing my jacket and opening the door to step out.  
  
"I'm going. Bye." I called, glancing at him one more time before I closed the door behind me.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Bye." I said quietly as the door closed, then looked up from my book. He went out again. I knew how the night will end and I just couldn’t take it anymore.  
  
I stood up and walked up to the closet, picking out something to wear, then went into the bathroom to take a shower and get ready.  
  
If he can do it, I can too.


	48. Chapter 48

Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I took a sip of my drink as I leaned against the bar, pretending to listen to the girl in front of me when all I did was trying not to fall asleep. This club became like a second home for me, every night meant a different girl and I could clearly feel a slightly disgusted look people who worked here started giving me. My playerish ways started annoying the hell out of them. Heck, they annoyed myself as well. I felt slightly sick of my life.  
  
I sighed with a nod at the girl and looked away from her as she moved to order another drink. My eyes focused on something across from us, on the other part of the club as I recognized him. He looked as handsome as ever and I was extremely surprised to see him here. As much as I tried to stop myself from hurting so much I couldn't do it. My heart would beat faster each time I saw him, especially at moments like this, when he'd appear in front of me in all his glory. Moments like these were rare, since he obviously wasn't the kind of person who would go out to places like this. Actually, go out at all. And my heart just couldn't stop aching whenever I looked at him and remembered how much he hurt me. What's worse - each time the realization of him never being able to become mine hit me like tons of bricks, crushing me down.  
  
I straightened myself slightly as I kept my eyes on him, not paying attention to anyone else around me. But then I realized one more thing - he wasn't alone. In fact, he was with some guy, happily talking and laughing at whatever the other was saying. I observed him for a long moment. Everything about him, the way he looked at him, the way he smiled and laughed, touched the other's arm from time to time, everything made me feel so jealous, made me fall down harder.  
  
I couldn't take it anymore, so I decided to go over to them. I don't even think it was some decision of mine, it was more like my own legs took over my brain and simply leaded me there.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I asked, although not half as angrily as I thought I would. He turned around.  
  
"Oh... hey... Ryeowook, you know Junsu?" he asked as he turned back to the other guy. The guy looked at me and smiled. He was... attractive. A mixture of being cute and sexy. It annoyed me, he kind of... reminded me of me, being able to pull off both looks.  
  
"Kim Ryeowook." He introduced himself politely, bowing slightly and I smirked just a bit.  
  
"Kim Junsu." I replied, but then Changmin interrupted me.  
  
"He's my roommate." He said simply, not taking his eyes off Ryeowook as I turned back to look at him. Ryeowook said something and Changmin continued to talk like I wasn't even there. I just kept staring at him for a moment, before I turned around and walked away and out of the club.  
  
It felt like I stopped breathing for a moment and when I walked out I tried to inhale fresh air desperately. And even though my lungs did work perfectly I still felt like it wasn't enough, like I wasn't able to breathe. I walked quickly in the direction of our dorms, feeling so exposed out in the open like this. I just wanted to reach my room... our room. Surprisingly, I wasn't feeling angry. Well, I did, but another feeling was suppressing that, less important one. I felt absolutely miserable.  
  
The moment I walked into our room and closed the door, the feeling of not being able to breathe culminated and I gave in to the only way to ease it a bit. I let my tears fall down, finally following me to my land of misery.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I slowly walked up to our room, not knowing what's expecting me on the other side of it. I hesitated for a moment, thinking about tonight, the way Junsu walked up to us, the way he asked that simple question. I assumed he would be surprised to see me there, but his voice was far from being unpleasant. I didn't know what to make out of the way he approached us, although the way he watched Ryeo and then me made me feel worried about him when he walked away from us just like that.  
  
I sighed finally willing myself to turn the knob and walk in. The atmosphere in the room was frighteningly calm, silent and if his curled form wasn't awkwardly resting on his bed, I would've thought the room was empty. He didn't move, his legs drawn up to his chest as far as they could go, his arms resting around them, his face buried into his knees as his messy black hair nicely contrasted his pale skin.  
  
He looked like a little boy and as I slowly made my way towards him a strange fright washed over me again, making me catch myself being scared of intruding his peace. I even held my breath as I slowly kneeled down next to his bed and silently continued watching him.  
  
He didn't look up for a long time and I thought he either hasn't noticed me being there, either he was asleep. Somehow I didn't find the latter so convincing considering the position he was in, it must've been extremely uncomfortable. I bit my lower lip as I moved slightly to change my position on the floor, my back resting against my own bed as I continued watching him.  
  
Unwillingly, I let out a small sigh again, surprising myself one more time with holding my breath. I breathed quite unevenly and felt really ridiculous because of that, but it wasn't really anything strange. My whole relationship with Junsu was ridiculous from the beginning. So much that I became ridiculous along the way, or maybe I was ever since the beginning. I couldn't do anything about it though, it was so much stronger then me that eventually I just gave up. May it all be ridiculous, may it all be a joke. It started off as joke and turned me into one.  
  
I continued watching him breathe until I finally noticed that he, afterall, wasn't sleeping. I've been watching him for too long and I haven't noticed it. I was too deep in my own world to see it. He wasn't breathing evenly, much like me. I swallowed slightly, not moving an inch as I watched him curl his toes slightly, reminding me of a small kid even more then before.  
  
"What do you want Changmin?" he asked then, breaking the silence, but not looking up. His voice was calm and quiet, sending shivers down my spine. I don't think I've ever heard him talk in that voice. I stayed quiet, not knowing how to answer it. I wanted a lot of things. And most of them, if not all, included him.  
  
"You've been sitting there for an hour, you know..." he added and I thought I heard a slightly sniffle as he finished his sentence, but decided to brush it off as my imagination. He wasn't crying, there was no reason for him to... Although, maybe there was, I just didn't know. I didn't know anything about him, about his life for such a long time.  
  
"H-how do you know?" I stuttered, clearing my throat in embarrassment immediately as it became too dry for me to speak.  
  
"I know... I've been counting." He replied quietly again, still not moving. It felt weird talking to him like this. Watching him openly like this and just listening to his voice. That was full of some emotion I've never seen come from him. At least not towards me.  
  
"You've been counting?" I repeated, not believing his words.  
  
"Yes. Counting." He said again and the sound of finality that was hinted in his voice made me shiver again. "I was trying to distract myself... let's say..." he added more quietly. "Calm myself." He whispered, but I caught it.  
  
"Oh..." I nodded even though I didn't quite understand him.  
  
"So... you keep watching me." He continued and it definitely wasn't a question, but a statement. "Why?" he asked, finally lifting his head.  
  
I almost gasped as I looked at his face, his eyes. He was crying. Not at the moment, but he was definitely crying. Probably before I came into the room.  
  
"You were crying." It was my turn to make a statement.  
  
"Why?" he asked softer and for a moment I was afraid he'll start crying again.  
  
"I..." I swallowed, trying to think of a reason. "Why were you crying?" I asked another question instead.  
  
"Was it fun?" it looked like he wasn't listening to me at all.  
  
"What? Watching you?" I asked back, completely confused.  
  
"No. Playing with me." He looked into my eyes, trying to sound cold, but I could see his eyes brimming with tears.  
  
"Junsu..." I started, but he cut me off again.  
  
"How was it? Placing a bet on me? Come on, tell me, I've been dying to hear ever since..." he trailed off, but then continued. "Was it worth me?" I expected those tears to fall out, I tried to focus on them, much like he was counting. I wanted to escape this. But they betrayed me, refusing to fall down. However maybe it was better that way. I probably wouldn't be able to bare him crying.  
  
"No." I finally replied. "It wasn't." I shook my head.  
  
"You're lying." He smirked, shaking his head. "Just because I'm crying... I cried... doesn't mean you should lie to me. Not after everything." He whispered and even though I expected him to sound angry he didn't. He just sounded... extremely hurt. "I got used to your lies anyway. I'm sick of them."  
  
"I'm not lying." I said once again, but he continued again.  
  
"I'm sick of me." He added, looking away from me.  
  
"Junsu... why?" I asked then, for some reason those words hurt me.  
  
"Why did you let me?" He looked back at me, obviously searching for answer.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Everything... sleep with you... feel this way..." he said, sighing again. I was surprised for a moment, but then realized what must have happened. He pretended he didn't remember us having sex. Because he discovered the truth. Although the truth he thought he knew was far away from real truth. "Go crazy?" I blinked, thinking of what he just said. Could it be that he wasn't just angry at me... well, it was obvious he wasn't angry, he was hurt and sad and much more. Why would he be all that if he wasn't feeling something... I didn't dare to hope but... something close to what I was feeling?  
  
Too many questions... for both of us. It was time to answer them.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I couldn't stand looking at him, but I had to. I fell. I was embarrassed, but at the same time it didn't matter at all. I had to know everything. Exposing myself was nothing. Not after everything. I already exposed myself, I became something disgusting, I couldn't stand myself even more then I couldn't stand him. It was time for us to come clean. Even if I ended up even more hurt, even more ridiculous. I doubted it was possible. I reached my limit.  
  
I couldn't be angry, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror, I couldn't look at him. I couldn't cry anymore. I couldn't even breathe. I couldn't live like this. It was clearly all I could do. Finally ask, talk, let it all out.  
  
"I went crazy Changmin." I repeated as he stared at me. He looked like he was deep in thought, but I needed to break that. To get to him, to let him know. "I went crazy and I can't stand it anymore."  
  
"Feel? What do you feel?" he asked then. Was he even listening to me?  
  
"I... fell." I replied the only way I could. At the moment that was all I was sure about.  
  
"I did too." He gave me a small smile. I didn't know if he understood me. Well, I didn't understand him. Or rather didn't dare.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"I fell... I... love you." He said bluntly, now waiting for my reaction.  
  
"You're lying..." I whispered, shaking my head. I didn't know I could still cry. "This is another stupid bet, isn't it?"  
  
"No." he shook his head.  
  
"You won. Go get your money, Kim Junsu fell in love with you. There. Satisfied?" I cried harder, the anger came back as well. I glared at him through my wet eyelashes, my vision blurred.  
  
"Junsu..." he smiled that stupid smile of his. I so wished to wipe it off his face. "Su, I'm not lying."  
  
"I'm not your Su..." I shook my head as he moved towards my bed and got onto it, putting his arms around me.  
  
"I never said you were mine." He continued smiling. "But will you be?"  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yah! Changmin." My Junsu woke me up and I groaned as I slowly blinked my eyes open and looked at him.  
  
"What?" I asked back, quite rudely and he raised an eyebrow at me. I smirked pulling him closer, but he crossed his arms and glared at me playfully.  
  
"You broke your own rule." He stated, pointing to the peace of paper that stood on his closet.  
  
"Which one?" I smirked again, fighting the urge to chuckle.  
  
"Well... first of all, you were wearing my clothes last night." He started.  
  
"I like them. And you don't wear them... I'm lucky I managed to squeeze myself into them." I shrugged.  
  
"Squeeze yourself into them?" he raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "Whatever... next. You're not allowed to sit on my bed, remember?" he smirked playfully.  
  
"Oh, but I'm not sitting, I'm lying." I chuckled at that.  
  
"Smarta$$." He pouted.  
  
"Always've been..." I teased and leaned in to kiss him. "Oh but you broke them too."  
  
"Hm?" he asked surprised.  
  
"You're not allowed to fall in love with me, remember?" he grinned at my words. "But I guess we're both guilty of that." I whispered before I pulled him into another loving kiss.


	49. Chapter 49

Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
It's hard for me to look at him being like that. I was in my bed, pretending to read something when I was just observing Jaejoong's behavior. It's really not hard to do when he's in this state. I don't know what happened between him and Minwoo, since he doesn't want to talk about it, but it must have been something serious since I've never seen him be this distressed. He doesn't even notice how he changed so obviously these past couple of weeks and how everybody noticed it. How he got everybody worried.  
  
I haven't seen Minwoo much either. He tries to act like everything is fine, but we all know better it's far from that. I usually run into him in between classes and it seems to me that he's been avoiding me. I know it sounds ridiculous and I might be overreacting, but that's how it makes me feel and that's why it's even more obvious how wrong things between him and Jaejoong are.  
  
I tried to talk to Junjin about it, but as hard as it is to believe, Minwoo doesn't want to talk about it with him either. Hyung just told me that he looks so desperate and lost sometimes that it frightens him. That's not what Minwoo, out of all people, should be like. I'm afraid Jae has been wrong about him from the beginning.  
  
And while I'm secretly watching my best friend floating further and further away from me and the rest of the world I feel so helpless and frustrated for not being able to do anything. I don't know what to do, it's really annoying and it stops me from enjoying my own happiness. Eric understands me and even though he's cheering me up all the time, by the end of the day my thoughts always trail off to Jae and I wonder if he'll find happiness I reached any time soon.  
  
I don't understand how they can both be so stubborn. But I do understand that even though he's my best friend, Jaejoong must have been the one who is wrong - who caused things to go wrong. I thought they were happy together... or at least going there. Jaejoong must have done something. It's not that he's hurt and longing for Minwoo, for his love. On top of that he feels guilty and frustrated with himself. I'm afraid it's just a matter of time when he'll become desperate enough to do something about it... but then again, I'm also waiting for that moment. Hoping Minwoo will understand too.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hyung!" Junsu ran into our room, causing us both to look at him. I noticed Changmin trailing shyly behind him. "I'm gay!" he beamed happily and I couldn't help but raise my eyebrow and smirk at that.  
  
"Really?" Dongwan almost chuckled. "You got us fooled with all the playboy-ish act..." he added sarcastically. Junsu glared at him.  
  
"And you have a boyfriend. Nice..." I nodded, looking at Changmin with pure amusement. The tall boy blushed furiously, biting his lip slightly.  
  
"He does?" Dongwan asked, moving from his spot on his bed and looking behind Junsu. "Minnie!" he grinned and both Junsu and I looked at him.  
  
"Hey hyung." Changmin said, stepping in as well now and standing next to Su.  
  
"Well... I guess you finally got to your senses." Dongwan teased his brother again.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" And again, Junsu glared. "I'm gonna tell you to umma."  
  
"Not if I tell her how much money you've been spending lately first." Dongwan stuck his tongue out at him. God, they could be so childish sometimes.  
  
"You wouldn't!" Junsu gasped, but then quickly straightened himself again. "She knows it anyway." He smirked.  
  
"Let's go Changmin..." I said quietly, wrapping my arm around the younger guy and quietly taking him out of the room as Dongwan and Junsu continued their childish argument. "This could take a while... you'll get used to it. Eventually." Changmin laughed.  
  
"You're forgetting Junsu and me... and our endless... interactions." He smirked.  
  
"Ah... true... then you listening to them must be quite boring." I replied as we already went out of the dorm and started walking over to the Heechul's.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stood in front of Junjin's class, waiting for him, like every day. I smiled looking at my boyfriend getting up and packing his things before he started walking out of the classroom to greet me. As I watched him someone else caught my eye. Jaejoong. Looking so lost. Junjin told me that something was going on between him and Minwoo, how Yoochun was worried about Jae and it did have an effect on me, like it did on all of our friends, I'm sure. But until now I didn't notice just how bad Jaejoong looked. Don't get me wrong, he was as beautiful as ever, he just lost... his glow.  
  
"Jin, can we not go to the Heechul's today?" I asked, looking back at my boyfriend. "I need to talk to Jaejoong." I added, looking back at my ex as he went out of the classroom and simply walked pass us, not even noticing me there. Junjin watched him too and understood what I meant so he just nodded.  
  
"Alright, come over later... we could watch a movie together..." I nodded. "Or you could just tell me how it went... Good luck." He added and I smiled at him before I rushed to catch up with Jaejoong.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
"He remembers it. Can you believe it? He remembers every single detail from that night." Changmin said excitedly and I closed my eyes shaking my head slightly.  
  
"Please don't go through that night with me. I don't need any nasty images of you two together. I grew up with Su... and he'll always be little Su to me, my little dongsaeng." I said quickly, hoping Changmin will stop there.  
  
"Ah but hyung, he's not little at all." Changmin smirked.  
  
"God..." I put my hands over my ears and shook my head again, refusing to hear more.  
  
  
Jaejoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Jae! Jae!" I heard someone calling me, so I slowly turned around to see Yunho running towards me.  
  
"Finally. I've been calling you for five minutes." I looked at him slightly strangely. No wonder I didn't hear anything, ever since Minwoo... ever since that night I've been deaf and blind for everything around me.  
  
"Sorry." I replied, waiting for him to say what he wanted.  
  
"Can we talk?" he asked, hope written on his face. I shrugged.  
  
"I guess. Heechul's?"  
  
"No, let's go over there." He pointed to the restaurant on the other side of the street. "I assume you haven't eaten anything since this morning." He knew our schedule all too well. Or was it that he just knew me and my eating habits?  
  
The truth was I haven't eaten anything since last night. I lost my appetite completely, I felt nauseous all the time and it was just easier to skip meals. I didn't feel like eating at all... or living. But I was still afraid to admit it.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hello ladies." Heechul grinned as he finally got some time to squeeze in between his customers that were keeping him busy - and the first thing he did, of course, was to squeeze in the booth beside me, pushing me slightly out of the way. I guess he did a lot of that... squeezing.  
  
"I'm not a lady." Changmin protested, I just shrugged, used to Heechul's weird and mainly perverted nicknames.  
  
"Oh yes you are." Heechul nodded, smirking in satisfaction. "You're a special kind too. One of my bit.ches."  
  
"Oh god... eww..." Changmin made a face.  
  
"Okay, my bit.ches usually don't say 'eww' but that makes you even more special. I guess." Heechul continued with the teasing. I noticed he especially loved fooling around with Changmin. Maybe because the boy was so innocent... or at least appeared to be. Yet he was quite close with Heechul - the old tramp.  
  
"Okay, stop it." Changmin glared and Heechul turned to me.  
  
"So what's up gossip queen?" he asked curiously with that smug look saying he was particularly hungry for some juicy gay news.  
  
"Ask your bit.ch." I couldn’t help but laugh which earned me one of Changmin's glares. Heechul quickly turned his head back to Minnie, waiting for him to spill the beans.  
  
"I got myself a boyfriend."  
  
"Oh no." A look of horror crossed Heechul's face. "What happened to Junsu?"  
  
"It is Junsu." Changmin flattened his eyes.  
  
"Again, what happened to Junsu?" Heechul repeated, although it was obvious for him to keep a straight face, especially when Changmin reached over to smack him over the head.  
  
"Kidding, kidding, alright?" Heechul laughed, quickly standing up and running away from his friend who stood up too and decided to catch him and make him pay.  
  
I smiled and then sighed. The circle of our miserable love-sick friends is getting smaller. It's a great thing really. But it makes me worse person then I imagined myself to be. It makes me jealous and slightly bitter, forcing me to put on a mask, much like Minwoo. It makes me wonder how much longer will it take for me to remain the last of us. Alone and miserable.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smiled at the waitress, thanking her as she put another glass of water in front of Jaejoong. I managed to drag him to the restaurant and make him order something. I've been watching him for the past fifteen minutes and now he looked much like he did back in the hallways. Lost and so far away from the rest of us.  
  
The silence filled the air around us and I just let it sink in, hoping it will affect him somehow, but I got completely opposite reaction from what I expected. He acted like I wasn't even there. However, that allowed me to observe him like I didn't have the chance for a long time. That glow wasn't the only thing he lost. He looked much paler and much more tired then usual. Skinnier too. I noticed he didn't even touch the food and it made me wonder if he was starving himself lately. It frightened me - this whole thing was much more serious then I've ever thought it will get.  
  
Finally, I decided to speak.  
  
"Jae... Jae." I repeated slightly louder the second time and he blinked quickly, looking back at me. "Aren't you hungry?"  
  
"Oh... no, I actually ate something during lunch." He forced a smile, looking down at his plate for a moment, then looking away again. I knew he was lying.  
  
"Don't lie to me, I know you skip lunch... and you look like you didn't have breakfast either.” I said worriedly. "Do you eat at all?"  
  
"I do, of course I do." He said quickly, nodding almost frantically and that too scared me. Jaejoong was someone... unrecognizable. "I just... don't feel well lately." He added more weakly.  
  
"What's wrong?" I asked more softly. Me and my questions again.  
  
"What isn't?" he asked back, sighing heavily and I felt my own heart aching simply for seeing him, hearing him talk like this. He looked extremely tired of everything.  
  
"Please talk to me Jae."  
  
He looked down, burying his face away from me and I waited for quite long. I had to be patient, I knew it meant a lot for both of us. He wouldn't say anything if I push him. After a couple of minutes I noticed he wasn't breathing evenly... his shoulders began to shake slightly and he tried to control himself so hard.  
  
"Everything's... falling apart..." he breathed weakly, I barely managed to hear him. I was glad the restaurant was almost empty and we were far away in the secluded part.  
  
"I feel like I'm dying Yunho... it just hurts... too much..." he said in between sobs and I moved to sit next to him instead, putting my hand on his arm. He finally lifted his head to look at me.  
  
"I don't know what to do."


	50. Chapter 50

Jaejoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Why don't you do something about it?" Yunho asked. I was already in his arms, his familiar scent was feeling my senses and I felt extremely safe for the first time in such a long time. We weren't together anymore and it's been a while, but he still managed to make me feel like no one could ever harm me as long as he's close by. I loved that feeling of comfort that just shined out of him.  
  
"What?" I asked back, much more calm then I was just a moment ago. "I'm scared Yunho."  
  
"Why? There's no reason for you to be scared."  
  
"I don't want to get rejected." I admitted quietly, looking down and slowly pulling away.  
  
"Are you kidding me?" he chuckled, I shot him a look.  
  
"Do I look like it?" I barked back, my eyes filled with tears again in contrast to my voice. These days it seemed like I couldn't keep them in tact.  
  
"Minwoo would never reject you." He shook his head as if he didn't believe I could even think that. Maybe he was right and I was just too blind to see it. All this time.  
  
"You think... there is hope?" the moment I said it I felt sick for being so pathetically lost. But there was nothing I could do about it... except...  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Baby... come back to bed..." I almost whined, watching my boyfriend get dressed.  
  
"I can't... I have stuff to do." He said, taking his bag already and preparing to go out.  
  
"You're not gonna tell me?" I asked, sitting up in bed and watching him. He looked back for a long moment, then sighed slightly and sat down.  
  
"Dongwan is bugging me." He admitted. I looked at him in surprise, not seeing why he would be bothered by his brother. "I mean, seriously... what is he thinking? Hyesung is so in love with him, the guy practically lives for him and what does he do? Nothing." He rambled, shaking his head and grabbing a pen to scribble random notes on some piece of paper he found.  
  
I bit my lip for a moment, waiting to see if he was gonna continue, but he kept quiet.  
  
"And what does that have to do with you wanting to escape my morning cuddling?" I smirked, trying not to chuckle at his cuteness.  
  
"I-I thought I should do something about it." He admitted.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like... maybe go and talk to him about it?" he asked back, obviously not feeling so sure about it now that I was questioning him.  
  
"Junsu..." I said cutely, reaching to him and taking his hand before pulling him back to bed. "You're so cute." I smirked, leaning down to kiss his cheeks.  
  
"Yah... stop..." he laughed so lovingly.  
  
"You have no idea how much of a turn on this is..." I teased, knowing he won't catch on to it.  
  
"Really?" he raised his eyebrow, looking at me almost seductively, just like I imagined he would and I bit my tongue not to laugh again.  
  
"Really..." I nodded, staying like that for a moment, but then pulling away. "But back to Dongwan..." I smirked, releasing Junsu completely. "I doubt he'll need help... I think he planned it all... we just need to wait and see."  
  
"Yeah?" he asked and I looked down at him, widening his eyes as he was already half naked again. "Okay then... come back here." And he pulled me back down for a kiss.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
I gathered all my stuff and struggled as I walked out of the class before most of the people, thinking about a thousand stuff I still had left to do.  
  
"Hyesung!" I turned around to see Junjin walking quickly after me.  
  
"Jin." I smiled, waiting for him.  
  
"I wanted to ask you about your exhibition. When is it?" he asked.  
  
"Next Thursday. When is yours?" I asked back.  
  
"Friday." He smiled. "Okay, well, I just wanted to know. I still have a lot of stuff to finish before it." He added.  
  
"Yeah, me too." I nodded. "Yunho's not waiting for you today?" I asked in surprise, it was weird not to see the brunette around, waiting for his boyfriend.  
  
"He had to go to Jaejoong again." He replied and I raised my eyebrow slightly.  
  
"You don't have a problem with it, do you?" I had to ask.  
  
"Of course not. I trust Yunho." He smiled. "Besides, I know Jaejoong loves Minwoo... it's just slightly weird that they're still so close." He added nevertheless.  
  
"They've always been best friends, way before they've even gotten together." I explained. "Besides, what they have is really special, you shouldn't be jealous of it."  
  
"I'm not jealous, I'm glad they have each other... I just have this feeling like... I'm not close enough with Yunho. And even though I know that probably isn't true... I wish there was something I could do about it." Junjin simply said.  
  
"Talk to him." Was all I could answer before I left him alone.  
  
  
Eric's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked down the hall, reading my book for the exam I'm having next week when I ran into Minwoo.  
  
"Minwoo, hey!" I greeted him cheerfully, putting my book down and into my bag.  
  
"Hey Eric." He replied back, smiling too, but obviously not being near as happy. I looked at what he was looking at. It was a poster for Jaejoong's exhibition. Yoochun reminded me a couple of times already, just in case I forget.  
  
"Oh... Jae's exhibition... Chun says he's done some amazing work this year." I said, smiling. I heard so much about it - I felt like I could imagine those pictures already and I just couldn't wait to actually see them. "You're coming, right?"  
  
"I... I really don't think so." Minwoo looked away from the poster and shook his head. I looked at him in disbelief.  
  
"What?" I couldn't keep my mouth shut. "How can you not come? It's Jaejoong's exhibition. Remember the guy you've been chasing around the whole year, the guy you're supposedly in love with?" I continued.  
  
"I'm not coming." He looked at me sternly. "I gained nothing good out of that... infatuation."  
  
"Infatuation? Was it all it was?" I almost yelled angrily. I couldn't believe what he was saying now. And I felt the strong urge to protect Jaejoong. I could understand Yunho now.  
  
"Maybe... I probably just lied to myself again." He replied.  
  
"You're giving up?"  
  
"It's about time."  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"He's not coming." I stared at him in disbelief. Did I just hear him well? It was Jaejoong's exhibition tonight and Minwoo was not coming? What the...  
  
"What?"  
  
"He kind of said he's giving up." Eric scratched the back of his head, sighing a bit. I shook my head.  
  
"He can't give up... come on..." I rubbed my temples, wondering why I - why we were even trying. I glanced at the clock, the exhibition was gonna start in two hours. Eric was already fully dressed, only waiting for me so we could go.  
  
"I don't think we can stop him... only Jaejoong can."  
  
  
Jaejoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked around the gallery, looking at my own work, my mind... well, I didn't know it was possible, but hectic and blank at the same time. Million things were rushing through it, but none of them made sense nor were they connected one to another. I looked good tonight, my outfit perfect, my hair styled in the best way ever, my work poured in front of everyone's feet tonight, my best work so far. I looked good, but I still felt extremely anxious.  
  
Is he gonna come?  
  
"Jaejoong, we'll start soon." My professor told me and I gave him a small smile as I nodded. I was too calm on the outside - no one would ever tell how nervous I was. I guess that was my own disguise.  
  
I looked around. How come I never noticed the gallery was already full with people? Walking around, talking, examining me through my work. I didn't mind, I was just... surprised.  
  
"Hello everyone," my professor started talking and I looked at him. His lips moving as he obviously opened the exhibition, but I couldn't hear a sound. My thoughts didn't let me hear...  
  
"Hello. I would like to thank you all for coming here tonight." I heard myself speaking. "This exhibition is the result not only of this year's work of mine, but much more... it expresses my inner world throughout the years. I know I'm not that old..." I even joked, hearing a couple of people chuckling. "...but this is just a story about my maturing, my emotions, my life and everything that crumbled its peace this past couple of years." I continued, smiling a bit as I looked around at my pictures.  
  
"And I'm thankful for that. Thank you all my friends, my family... everyone who has been with me, by my side, watching me and guiding me. And especially that one special person who's been by my side the shortest period of time, but who had a big role in making me who I am today. You helped me realize a lot of things, recognize myself and that's why I dedicate this exhibition to you." I said, gaining all my courage all of the sudden.  
  
"And I finally recognize you now, I finally know you. I finally understand you. And I love you for that." I whispered the last sentence.  
  
"I love you, Lee Minwoo."


	51. Chapter 51

Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
It was killing me. I kept thinking about him. He did everything to push me away from himself, but nothing helped. Even when even I decided to finally leave him alone, I still wasn't able to do it. I just couldn't. I guess that's the true meaning of the phrase "you just can't help it". Even when I drove myself to the point of going crazy I just couldn't make myself fall out of love with him.  
  
And now... his exhibition. Even though I firmly decided not to go, even though I said to myself that I shouldn't torture myself anymore, that I should just live on and forget about everything - avoid him if needed - and it was needed, obviously... Even though I did all that my feet somehow dragged me to the gallery in the end.  
  
I walked into the place where Jaejoong had exhibition of his work for this year and started walking around, watching his pictures. What surprised me first was that they weren't regular paintings, but a combination of paintings and photographs - each picture had some kind of synthesis of the two. That alone made the paintings that much more interesting and closer to me. Since we were all friends for these couple of years I went to his exhibitions before, but this time he truly outdid himself. The themes were also something else. One could easily recognize they meant something more to the author - more then just an emotion simple stuff left as their impression imprinted in Jaejoong's mind and heart. It was like those stuff themselves became a part of him - this was something that deeply touched his soul.  
  
Watching these paintings meant getting in touch with Jaejoong - more then any other paintings of his. He was so exposed with this... but only to the people who truly knew him and comprehended him. I was very well aware of that as I slowly examined them... until I came to the separate part of the exhibition, right in front of everyone, but at the same time slightly divided from the rest of the paintings.  
  
On the wall next to the first painting there was a sign that said "Life itself – V.I.V. (Very Important Values)". Curiously, I looked at the first painting called "Strength" and saw Hyesung. I widened my eyes slightly as I didn't expect it, a small smile instantly tugging at my lips. As always, a part of it was a photo of him, smiling brightly as he looked to his right and I recognized the place where the photo was taken - Heechul's. I could even see Heechul behind the bar in the background. The painted part of the picture had Hyesung's silhouette holding a paintbrush in his hand as if he was painting the view in front of him - the city full of buildings in shape of canvases, music instruments, colorful buildings with words written over them. It seemed like Hyesung was standing in the middle of the river that flew by the city, as if he was also a part of it, owning that imaginary world. He didn't give out an impression of a ruler nor the owner - but the creator - the mother.  
  
Still under the amazing impression of the painting I moved onto the next one, called "Innocence". There was a photo of Eric with his eyes closed, laughing hard at something. I smiled again and examined the painting. Eric was kneeling down in front of his Marshy, obviously talking to her, like only he could. Jaejoong was absolutely right - no one could picture innocence as perfect as Eric. He was the oldest, but he could express the pureness of his heart the best - like he was still a child. That was just precious.  
  
The next picture was called "Harmony" and it had Changmin and Junsu together. On the photo they were in one of the classrooms in music department, facing each other as they sang. Their eyes were connected and even on the photo you could clearly see the bond they formed together. The painted part had the two of them sitting on the bench, their hands brought together, fingers entwined. The bench looked like a stylized staves. They were in the middle of a gorgeous scenery, almost fairy-tale like - in harmony with that perfect nature as well as each other.  
  
I moved to the next one. It was simply called "Art" and it was a picture of Junjin. My best friend's photo was taken at Dongwan's house during Christmas holidays. He was sitting on the floor, leaned against the wall and had one of his rare dreamy smiles. He was obviously deep in thought and probably didn't even notice Jaejoong taking a picture of him. I was surprised Jae managed to catch him like this, since Junjin rarely drifted off into his own little world - especially not in front of other people. But I had to admit that he looked as handsome as ever on this photo. The painted half pictured him as an artist in front of his canvas, but his eyes were looking straight at me - the person who was watching him outside of the painting. I smiled at the meaning - we all can be a theme for an art piece. We were all some form of art.  
  
I stood in front of "Friendship". Yoochun was smiling warmly at me, sitting casually on a chair in what looked like his and Jaejoong's room. He casually posed for his best friend's exhibition - I'm sure that was what Jaejoong said from him. And therefore he gave out the impression of effortless communication with the camera - or better yet - with the person who was behind it. Painting held a different Yoochun. This one was surrounded with people, but looked like he wasn't a part of that crowd, like he was there by himself. Alone. I thought about it for a minute, just staring at the picture, trying to comprehend the meaning. Was he lonely because he only had Jaejoong as his friend, but Jae didn't want to put himself in the picture? It didn't make much sense really. I continued to think, but nothing came to me, I just didn't get it.  
  
I glanced at the next picture as I decided to drop the mystery of Yoochun's picture and moved to the one that caught my attention. "Devotion". Dongwan sitting by his desk, completely focused on something that he was writing. And beside him a painted Wannie, standing next to the camera and talking to his actors. And beside him one more, talking to Hyesung, his whole body turned to him as if there was no one else around the two of them. And beside him another one, surrounded with the rest of us - you could recognize us painted in simple strokes, our basic features distinguished, but Dongwan was the one in the centre, outshining us in every way. He didn't look like he was above us all... but it gave out this weird impression that he was the link between us all, that he was the one important - but that he gave us all the importance. That's what devotion was - and Wannie was devoted in everything he did.  
  
It surprised me that the photo on the next painting had a sleeping Yunho on it. I glanced at the title - "Eternity". I raised my eyebrow slightly. I knew Yunho was very important to Jaejoong... but I wasn't aware that he meant an eternity to him. He looked peaceful and I knew that was what Jaejoong wanted - to be able to picture eternity. However there was a hint of smile lingering on his lips. I liked that... the picture shined with hope. The painted part had Yunho in middle, in the whirlwind of people, art and... life. He looked so alive for some reason. Strong and handsome, like he was full of energy. A positive impression... I felt like the painting was giving me some other type of strength from Hyesung's one, like it was pushing me forward to taste the life - live and love.  
  
But what made me gasp for real was the next - and the last - painting. I was staring at myself. In the middle of canvas there was a photo of me. I don't know when he could've possibly taken a picture of me, the photo was just a simple photo of me like any other. Obviously taken in the dorm hall I was leaning against the wall, holding a book in one of my hands, but with my arms crossed as I was, for some reason, looking up. I didn't get it why he chose that picture of myself, but it didn't really matter. I looked around. On right and left side there were my painted versions. But I wasn't on the ground, I wasn't on Earth. On both sides I was a part of some other world. It wasn't anything like heaven - it would probably be too un-Jaejoong like to picture me somewhere close to heaven, but it was an enchanting place. Or was it me that was so enchanting? Looking closer... I almost glowed. My expression didn't show it, nor was it the way I was positioned - but I was obviously the centre of that place. Maybe it was conceited of me to think so, but it looked like that world existed only because I was in it. I finally took my eyes off the painting and looked at the name of it. "Love"  
  
I took a step backwards, not knowing what to think of this. I finally turned to look around myself at other people. I locked eyes with some girl who looked at the same painting as I did a minute ago and she gave me a knowing smile. But that's the thing. I didn't know if that painting was true. I couldn't let myself believe.  
  
I turned as someone started talking. The official opening. My heart skipped the beat as I stepped slightly closer to hear better and to look at Jaejoong. There he was, even more gorgeous then usual - he looked stunning, but also kind of out of it. And then he started talking.  
  
"And I'm thankful for that. Thank you all my friends, my family... everyone who has been with me, by my side, watching me and guiding me. And especially that one special person who's been by my side the shortest period of time, but who had a big role in making me who I am today. You helped me realize a lot of things, recognize myself and that's why I dedicate this exhibition to you." I heard him speak as he neared the end of his speech.  
  
"And I finally recognize you now, I finally know you. I finally understand you. And I love you for that." He whispered, but I heard him clearly.  
  
"I love you, Lee Minwoo."  
  
I stayed paralyzed for a long moment, trying to understand him now. The words kept repeating in my head as it seemed like the world stopped spinning and only my frantic heart beats could be heard.  
  
I stared at him as I finally moved - my feet brought me to him again. I didn't understand what I was doing, but my body obviously knew well what I should do as I faced him and pressed my lips against his, giving myself to him, just like he showed he gave himself to me.  
  
  
Jaejoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I'm... in a dream.  
  
As we broke apart and I became aware of the people watching us and even applauding I grinned like a crazy fool.  
  
"Why are you crying?" he asked, chuckling a bit as he reached up to wipe my tears.  
  
"Why are you?" I asked back, brushing his tears away too.  
  
"You left me speechless..."  
  
"The speech?"  
  
"The paintings." He whispered.  
  
And I understood. I finally did.  
  
  
Minwoo's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Where are you?" I heard him on the other side of the line. It's been three weeks since that night we've gotten together. The night he understood me - as we liked to call it.  
  
"I see you." I replied, hanging up the phone and walking up to him. "Hey gorgeous." I smiled, wrapping my arms around him and giving him a kiss.  
  
"Hey." He smiled against my lips and pulled away, wrapping one arm around him. "You look good."  
  
"You too." I replied. "Is everyone inside?"  
  
"Yeah... why are you late?" he pouted.  
  
"I had to look perfect for you." I teased.  
  
"Yeah right. You always look perfect and you know it. You just started getting ready in the last minute. Admit it." He shook his head, laughing a bit and pulling me into the theatre.  
  
"Going from not understanding to knowing me too well is such a thin line for you..." I replied, laughing too.  
  
"Come on, they're saving seats for us." He said as we already went in and quickly found our seats in between Hyesung and Yunho.  
  
"Finally! Where were you?" Hyesung shot me a glare.  
  
"Sorry..." I backed away a bit, happy to have Jaejoong in between us.  
  
"You should seriously start getting ready on time." He shook his head, turning to the screen and Jaejoong chuckled in return, glancing at me.  
  
"I have something to ask you." I said to him, remembering the exhibition.  
  
"Yeah?" he asked, turning to me again.  
  
"Your painting - "Friendship"... why is Yoochun alone on it?" I asked curiously. It's been bugging me for a while. I just never remembered to ask when I was with Jaejoong. I had other things to think about in those times.  
  
"He doesn't look lonely, does he?" he asked with a hint of worry in his voice.  
  
"No. He kind of looks happy actually." I said as I thought about it.  
  
"Good." Jaejoong smiled, nodding a bit. "Yoochun is my best friend, you know?" I nodded, although I was slightly surprised, since he was close to both Hyesung and Yunho - I always had impression that he was closer to them then to Yoochun. "His picture is close to yours actually... and partly to Yunho's. You see... "Friendship" and "Love" are the only paintings who express my own world. The others express how I see our friends - and the background in which they're placed is their own world or what I see their own world as. Yunho's background is out of place and time - he's my expression of eternity after all. But Yoochun and you are a part of my own different worlds. Yoochun is not alone, but he's the only one in million other people that surround me. The only best friend. As for you... the world you're in is my world of love. And of course, you're the only one there... but not only that - you own that world - just like you own my love." He smiled.  
  
"You left me speechless again." I said.  
  
"Good. The film is starting." He chuckled, pointing at the screen. I smirked and leaned closer.  
  
"I love you." I whispered and he squeezed my hand gently, his eyes glued to the screen.  
  
I looked at the screen too, taking a deep breath, feeling both happiness and nervousness. Kim Dongwan's love confession was ready to reveal right before our eyes.


	52. Chapter 52

Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
I sat in the theatre, fidgeting a little bit. Finally I was gonna see the film that took Dongwan's attention for the past year. He never wanted to share anything concerning it with me, so naturally, it made me even more curious about it. And he wasn't the only one - I know Eric and Yunho acted in it and Minwoo was the one who wrote the music for it. But no one wanted to tell me anything about it. All I could do was wait for it - and now, that the time for me to see it finally came I was more nervous then ever. Because, for some reason, I felt like it held a special meaning, a special importance.  
  
The film finally started and I felt myself relax a bit as it brought that kind of feeling to me. But when I heard the names of the main characters - who were of course portrayed by Yunho and Eric - I froze a bit, quickly glancing at Dongwan who was sitting right beside me.  
  
He looked back at me and gave a warm smile, while question popped into my head - was this about the two of us?  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
As the movie went on I felt Junsu squeezing my hand gently. I knew he was excited, he didn't expect Dongwan's movie to be this good - and especially to portray all our lives so amazingly well, but most of all focusing on his relationship with Hyesung, of course. I looked at my boyfriend and could clearly see how proud he was with his brother, how happy he was. I fell my own heart beat slightly faster, swelling with pride and I just hoped that after this Dongwan will finally get his Hyesung. I didn't even have to hope, knowing Hyesung, I was sure of it.  
  
  
Jaejoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I bit my lip as I watched the film. For some reason I had the feeling that I was the only one, beside Hyesung, who didn't know what this was about. I turned to Minwoo, gazing at him in awe.  
  
"You did this for them?" I whispered, not believing a bit, but on the other hand I didn't believe many things my boyfriend has done, but he always proved me wrong when it came to that. He was more loving and caring towards our whole group of friends then he let us believe.  
  
"I did it for all of us." He simply replied, smiling back at me.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Are you alright?" Eric whispered into my ear, slightly worriedly and I jumped in my seat slightly. I was too into the film, I wasn't aware of anything nor anyone around me. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. This movie was pure perfection.  
  
"I'm okay... shh... I'm watching." I replied quickly, lightly pushing him away and he laughed, turning back to the screen.  
  
  
Junjin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I sank into my seat, truly enjoying this little work of art Dongwan gave to us all. I felt Yunho's hand around my shoulders as I could feel all the love circling our little group of friends. Jaejoong's exhibition a couple of weeks ago and this film now finally made me realize something. I finally felt like I belong somewhere. I belong here and that made me feel complete.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
I couldn't stay calm. This was it. This film was my confession to the love of my life. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Hyesung, I loved him way to much to let go of him. I wanted to show him what he meant to me - and I wanted to show our whole group of friends that I couldn't imagine my life without them either. Each of them had a special place in it and if I hadn't met them I wouldn't be Kim Dongwan that I am now.  
  
I looked at Hyesung, but couldn't read anything on his face. He was focused on my film and the only expression he wore was the one of shock. I knew he couldn't believe it, I just didn't know if he was happy because of it or not. I knew that he would do everything not to hurt me - I just hoped that there will be no reason for him to do so once the film ends.  
  
  
Hyesung's P.O.V.  
  
  
By the end of the film my heart ached so hard. He loved me. All this time I've spent trying to push my own feelings away in order not to lose that special bond, special friendship we had and he loves me back? I was quite shocked even though everyone probably thought and expected me not to be. Everyone knew he loved me too. I just never wanted to listen.  
  
The film ended and I found my eyes filling with happy tears. I was unsure of how I should react, I only knew that I wanted to hug him and kiss him and tell him just how much I love him.  
  
I turned to look at him, but he wasn't in his seat and I understood he went to the front, along with Eric, Yunho, Minwoo and some other people who were a part of his crew. This was his premiere afterall.  
  
"Thank you." He smiled as people applauded him. "Well... film says it all, I don't think I should say anything more... I did this for all the people who mean the world to me and I'm really happy that they're all here with me tonight. But more importantly, I did this for the one who makes my world the special place worth living in. This was such a special year for me... for all my friends really... but it was also probably the hardest. I've been trying to hold this away from you until tonight. Hyesung..." he looked at me and at that moment I understood everything he wanted to say. That look of his was telling me so much, telling me everything my own heart told me ages ago. It was like looking into the mirror. I saw him clearly now and I know he must have seen me too.  
  
I stood up and walked over to him, hugging him tightly.  
  
"Thank you." I whispered into his ear. "You've always been my everything." I admitted, pulling away to look into his eyes.  
  
"I lo-..." he started.  
  
"No, I love you." I interrupted, grinning broadly. "I love you so much."  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hyung..." I smirked at the word, he rarely called me that now - but still whenever he needed something from me.  
  
"I don't want to hear it Junsu. I told you that I love you guys living here with us, but you're not kids anymore..." I paused, knowing that I didn't choose the right word. "We're trying hard to block all the noises and bathroom on the second floor been occupied whenever you're not in bedroom... I don't even want to step in there actually." I made a face. "But you doing it on the dining room table and running around the house naked? Don't you think it's a bit too much?"  
  
"Hyung, come on..." he pouted and I shook my head not believing that I'm talking to a thirty years old man.  
  
"Don't 'hyung' me. You know that doesn't work anymore. I know what you're trying." I stood up, walking into the kitchen and practically bumping into Changmin.  
  
"You." I pointed at him. "I never thought I'd be able to hear every sexual activity my little dongsaeng is having." I said accusingly.  
  
"You're not hearing every, believe me." He replied nonchalantly.  
  
"Urgh..." I shook my head. "Get out. Now!" I said, pushing him out of the kitchen and then turning to look at Hyesung, who was preparing dinner.  
  
"Give them a break." He said simply.  
  
"It's like I have an overly excited pair of teenage kids." I sighed, taking a seat.  
  
"You might not want to sit there." He smirked and I quickly jumped up.  
  
"That's it, we're changing some of the furniture." I concluded. "Or all of it?" I glanced back at my boyfriend and he nodded, not being able to hold back his laughter anymore.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hyung!" I yelled, too lazy to get up as I was in the middle of composing. I was so distracted lately for some reason, inspiration wouldn't come. I shrugged it off and sighed as I stood up and went out of the room to find Junjin, Marshy's daughter Tina trailing behind me.  
  
"Hyung!" I called again until I found him in his own work room.  
  
"What? I'm working." He said, writing something down. I never imagined that he'd push his painting slightly to a side and become a business man. He was owning a large art gallery now and he was satisfied, but he did paint less then before. It was close to my composing actually - he'd paint like crazy at times and then there were times when he'd completely drop it because of the lack of inspiration and work piling up in the gallery.  
  
"Eric called. He said him and Yunho will be a bit late." I said.  
  
"Alright. Minwoo said he's too busy today anyway, so him and Jae will be late too." He replied simply. "I've changed the dinner reservations, don't worry."  
  
"I don't." I chuckled. "Do you need help?" he looked up, raising one of his eyebrows slightly.  
  
"What about your music?"  
  
"Today's not the day." I shrugged, taking a seat beside him, wanting to help him so we could be done sooner.  
  
"I want to talk to Jaejoong tonight." He said.  
  
"Yeah? What about?" I glanced at him curiously.  
  
"I want him to be my partner in the gallery... this is too much work for me alone. And beside Hyesung he's the best person for it." He shrugged.  
  
"Really? That's great Jin." I smiled broadly. "By the way Junsu called me. To whine about Dongwan again." I chuckled.  
  
"They've been... restless again, ne?" Junjin laughed as well. "You're lucky Yunho and I are considerate."  
  
"Oh please... I didn't need that image in my head." I made a face and we both laughed again.  
  
  
Dongwan's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched my friends. It's been another one of our Christmas celebrations... a lot of years passed since that year and we were still happily together. Spending as much time together as we could. We needed each other, always.  
  
Throughout the years we discovered and learned to comprehend our professions, always creating and approaching art in a different way, feeling a dose of a special excitement along the way. We learned what it means to fall in love with art. The love for art.  
  
What we didn't expect was discovering something else, something that took us into its embrace, took everything we had to offer and at the same time gave us everything that we needed. Filled us whole. A different type of art. The art of love.  
  
  
  
  


THE END


End file.
